Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdjones View Post
Reasons for my “concern/doubt” ????

1. … from your first post .. “… a nursing aide ….due to travel here on a work visa”. It’s almost impossible to get a work visa these days, and for a nursing aide ???? not even a fully qualified nurse ? , even more difficult.
So, where was she supposed to work ? ….. which hospital, residential care home ? Have u asked, and checked via the net if the name/address of the hospital matches, if human resources there are aware of her ?

2. “medical certificate” stolen…… ”this was renewable in Manila but naturally they wanted to charge an extortionate amount of money” …. doesn’t ring true. Also …”She didn't have that and neither did I”…. so she asked for money, yes ? How much ? I’m sure others on here have had to replace a certificate, so have an idea what the charge is.

3. so….. she had a work visa, but has abandoned it because of the “stolen” certificate ? I don’t think so ! Most Filipinas would move heaven & earth to get to the UK on that work visa. I don’t believe she ever had one.

4. Who suggested Manila as a potential “meeting” ground… you or her ? GenSan is safe, and Davao even safer. Perhaps she’s not keen on bumping into people she knows while she’s with you .

5. “I have sent her some packages and these have gone to a family friend in General Santos City” ….. why ? …… the postal service works reasonably well through-out the Philippines. Or perhaps she’s not keen on you knowing her actual address, so able to trace her at a later date ?

6. “..communicate with her except by phone at one of her patient's place”. Highly, highly dubious. Do u know of any British nurses who take phone calls from their boyfriends on a landline whilst working at a patient’s home ????

7. Re; the shooting…. “My only source of information is a kind young lady in her apartment named Melissa who speaks no English” … rather convenient eh ? Expect the txt or phone call soon asking for help with the medical bills… or has it already arrived ? Payable to Western Union in her friend’s name ?


Tell you what .... I'll happily send them a wedding gift when they get married (if I'm proven wrong)
Mate - even if I was being set up to be scammed, I would have thought that you could be sensitive enough to restrain yourself with this deluge of cynicism before weighing in with this rather shouty assessment of the situation. I don't find it supportive - it comes over as smug, impertinent and makes assumptions about my judgement.

At some point one has to set aside the suspicion or it becomes incompatible with pursuing the relationship. One has to commit for ones own peace of mind and I have.

I expressed doubts a number of times, she has constantly refused to accept any money from me and continues to do so in order to prove her sincerity. The challenge of living in this atrocious environment means that financial worries are at the forefront of any filipna's mind. There is no benefits system there after all. So don't work - don't eat. It should not become a taboo subject.

If I included details of every point of contact, whether the calls I made were to landlines or cellular (all were to cellphones as it happens)and the relationship of all these contacts to Lyn then I may be asking for advice on whether to go ahead with things. As it stands I have satisfied the majority of my queries. Besides I can only really be scammed if I am sending money - which isn't happening, I can't afford to support her like that. It seems to me that most relationships of this type begin in a way that mirrors a potemtial scammer and at some point we need to recognise that it's less than 5% of them and move on.

I never said she was in the group that was massacred at any point - clearly this was not the case. She was injured by stray gunfire when the goverment troops and police went into the region to disarm the clan. Gung ho soliders and police - not a good combo. I have now spoken to her and she is in some distress and pain. She is returning to her apartment on Saturday we hope and I will continue to talk with her from then. Her mother is going to join her there and help her out while she is recovering from this.

Noel