Thank you all very much for the replies. Perhaps I should try and forgive him again and see if he'll change. I will be wise now and keep some money for myself coz right now I don't even have a single penny in my wallet. Our joint account is always in overdraft and we're literally living on overdraft. I haven't had any financial trouble before I got married, I had a very nice career in the Philippines but now I'm putting up with all these bull****.
Originally Posted by iamnoangel
Attagirl ... that's the spirit! Tell your husband "enough is enough!" ... and that, unless he PROVES he can mend his ways, you WILL carry out your threat to LEAVE him. At the same time, make it crystal clear you intend to open a bank account for yourself. Good Luck ... and remember we're here to provide a "listening ear" and offer our support.
Listen to Arthur.
Always very helpful and kind, as he has been to me.
Am flying out tomorrow mate.
Satellite/Cable TV/Radiocommunications specialist.
Hello iamnoangel, welcome to the forum and hope you sort things out with your hubby....
As for being wiser and keeping money for yourself (coming from your own income), i'm definitely with you on this one
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
That's my girl! No harm in giving him another chance as long as you can look after your health, feeling and mind. It is always depend on us if we can still carry the pain and heartache. Kaya pa ba?
They said a man always deserve a second chanceDo they?
As you said, HE has debts. Is it possible that any of HIS debts are from flying to see you? or paying for your visa and flight here? Or sending any of your family money?
You said you had a nice career in the Philippines so did it pay for most of the afore mentioned things?
If not then it might be suggested that HIS debts are both of your debts.
I take it you got married in Phil as your here on a spouse visa so I would assume that he payed for most if not all of that?
Maybe just maybe he didnt want to dissapoint you and instead chose to have a nice wedding to remember and get you here and then address the financial problems together.
As for the chatting with ex`s well I guess that if he told you that you shouldnt then he should respect you and do the same.
9 mos is early to say I give up. Marriage is commitment and compromise. Soon as you made the vow what is his is yours and vice versa. Trust is essential. It is not only him to support you but also you to support him (all aspect, financial, moral, emotional,physical,spiritual etc)
You need to talk to your husband and tell him how it affects you because maybe he is not aware that he is making you unhappy, if he dont listen then it is entirely up to you to make yourself happy ..one is stop snooping or checking up on him because it will just make you feel bad, divert your stress to something constructive go to the gymm, do some shopping (when you finally got your own money) completely ignore what his doing and try to keep busy.
hope all goes well. Take care.
If it's not life threatening IGNORE it .. .
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