Hey everybody..
I'll try to keep my story short.. but it's not so easy.
I have a filipina Girlfriend. She's 23 years old, i'm 34. I'm from Switzerland.
She was here for 1 year for work. I just met her and fell in love with her the last 3 months she was here. She's back in the Philipines now, we are still in contact by phone and by videochat. I totally miss her. We have plans to get married next year.
I think she's a great girl, could be the woman of my dreams.. BUT there are these doubts if she really is honest with me. I hope some of you with experience can possibly give me some advice
First of all, i have to say, when we are together everything is really just great. I had the most romantic times ever in my life with her, and i mostly feel so happy with her.
Yet we already had 2 critical moments where i almost broke up with her. And there are other little things that just keep bothering me.
My 1st Doubt: We met on an online dating-website. After we were already together about 1 months she STILL was registered on the site, and even uploaded new photos.. i was disappointed and asked her why she still is active on that site.. she answered something like "just like that, no big deal", she then showed me that she was in contact with a man (an older guy) who wrote her about 20 messages, she replied only to some of them... she even showed me the messages because i was a bit upset and it's true, she didnt really seem to be caring, yet though i was a bit hurt to see that she didnt ignore it at all.. and even wrote in an e-mail that "it's unfortunate that i know you so late (before she gets back to the phils)." She then immediately deleted the account for me.. which was ok, i felt a bit better about it.
My 2nd Doubt:
When i was with her- that was when we were about 1,5 months together - she recieved an SMS from a guy it just said "hello, how are you?". Because i already was a bit doubting i was of course a bit hurt and upset.. and asked who that is.. she answered me: "some philipino guy she knows from earlier".. Then i overreacted a bit and checked out her phone.. she said it's ok..yet she was quite emotional and thought i will leave her.. then i saw several Messages from guys.. nothing really indicating something "bad", and most of it was before i met her.. yet though later i confronted her again about that guy.. and she "confessed" it's not a filippino.. so she lied to me in the first reaction.. she still though just doesnt want to tell me about who he is and what relation they had.. i'm disappointed because i want to know everything about her, so i really can trust her... but she just says it's nothing, and that she never contacts "them" anymore.
3rd Doubt:
she has 2 differrent facebook accounts.. on one which she has a sort of catchphrase "hello guys, i'm fun to talk".. and on this facebook she doesnt mention me at all.. on the other facebook she posted plenty of pictures of me, is friends with her family members and so on... She says it's because she didnt want her filippina working mates here in switzerland know that she dates a swiss..
Other Doubts: Sometimes she talks about saving money and buying land or a house in her hometown when she will be married with me. She also says to buy a house together.. but yet i wonder if she really means that... And also she has a tendency to let me buy stuff for her, i bought her a lot of clothes and jewelry.. not very expensive stuff, and of course i'm generous because i can afford it, she can't because she earned so little money.. but still i find it a bit noticeable that she's a bit materiallistic.. but probably it's just a girls thing.. She also already invited me for dinner in return and always offered to share (how serious it was, i dont know.., but i dont blame her for that)
Also i found out that she's on many other dating-sites as well. But that was before my time.. she never went online to them again (she doesnt know that i know about these site..) Yet though i must say, once i asked her if she's on other sites - she lied to me.. and said no.. that was also very disappointing.. i dont understand why she has to lie about those things...
Dont get me wrong she's great, we have so much fun together, it's superromantic, we can talk for hours on the phone/videochat, it's never boring, it's exciting, sexually it's great, she introduced me to her family, has big plans for the weddingceremony, her mom is very happy for her, she introduced me to her family etc. That's why i'm so confused.. i'm just so afraid that she's not serious with me and only want to use me.. yet though there is much love involved and a shared dream of a life together...
What would you say - should i be more critical with her? Am i possibly too blind and too "humble", and should already have left with all those things happened?
Or should i just simply trust her, forget my doubts, go with my feelings?
It's so hard.. i'm about to marry her.. yet i still have these doubts.. But they are only doubts, have no proof that she's just using me, or that she has other boyfriend or something.
Once i recently talked about her about the marriage and that i worry to get used by her.. it was bad.. she really cried and said she really loves me and wants to be with me.. she even said "she knows i will break her heart" and wanted to break up with me.. i was sad to, i started to cry too and was desperate to lose her.. we cried together and said we want to start a new life together.. it was so hearbreaking... maybe i'm really wrong with these doubts... maybe i'm the "bad" guy..
(Sorry about the long thread.. but it's a bit complicated...)
