Porrest Goomp

[fred]

Filipino jokes




My name is Porrest, Porrest Goomp.

Inay always said that life is like a balikbayan box!

My best friend Bubba knew everything there was to know about bagoong.
"There's bagoong with rice, bagoong with lemon juice, fried bagoong,
bagoong at puto...............


There was this Filipino kindergarten teacher and she was teaching her
class how to do the hokey-pokey. She started off by saying, "You put
your right feet in, you put your right feet out, you put your right
feet in…."

Suddenly one of the children said, "Teacher you have to say `foot.'"

So the teacher said, "You `foot' your right feet in, you `foot' your
right feet out….."


A Filipino was arrested in San Francisco for illegal parking. He was
incensed. He said to the police, "Why you give me a facking ticket? I
only facked here por payb minutes!

[francesca]

haha, I love the jokes. Who invented that must be really a filipino. And from the country side, not in big city.

[manny]

Clyde's Accident


A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'," asked the lawyer. Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the....."

"I didn't ask for any details." the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question? Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road....."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans."

"Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now what would you say?"