for PINAY wives!

[maria_and_matt]

ok i have been reading all the happy endings in this forum. met online fell in love got married, applied for a visa, visa granted, flying to the UK, eventually having kids.
being married of course is so exciting at first. but as time past, when the spark is gone, do you feel resentment of having to give up life in the philippines for our lives here? are you just as in love with your husband as the day you married him? do you have any regrets?
sometimes i do.. i look at my husband and think, dear what a miserable git he is. if i had a choice i would go back home and stay there! but unfortunately i have a son whose life is here, and there is no way i would leave him.
i cannot deny that i find life here so boring, my neighbours i do not know unlike back home where i can go house to house and eat their food. here you just cannot turn up at peoples houses unannounced.
huge culture difference as well, we are raised to help our elderly. here it nursing homes. we have a huge family that supports as back home, here it is just the hubby, and the kids.
hayzzz sorry for going on and on i guess i am just missing home so much especially now xmas is here.
i hope all you pinays have a good xmas and not missing home too much.

[Florge]

aahhhwwww... hugs to you girl...

[maria_and_matt]

aahhhwwww... hugs to you girl...

thank you sis, deym xmas! it gets me down..

[pocahontas]

ok i have been reading all the happy endings in this forum. met online fell in love got married, applied for a visa, visa granted, flying to the UK, eventually having kids.
being married of course is so exciting at first. but as time past, when the spark is gone, do you feel resentment of having to give up life in the philippines for our lives here? are you just as in love with your husband as the day you married him? do you have any regrets?
sometimes i do.. i look at my husband and think, dear what a miserable git he is. if i had a choice i would go back home and stay there! but unfortunately i have a son whose life is here, and there is no way i would leave him.
i cannot deny that i find life here so boring, my neighbours i do not know unlike back home where i can go house to house and eat their food. here you just cannot turn up at peoples houses unannounced.
huge culture difference as well, we are raised to help our elderly. here it nursing homes. we have a huge family that supports as back home, here it is just the hubby, and the kids.
hayzzz sorry for going on and on i guess i am just missing home so much especially now xmas is here.
i hope all you pinays have a good xmas and not missing home too much.

i know exactly what you mean.......HI..btw. im now in that situation..been here for 8months and it really breaks my heart the fact that the culture is so different and till now trying to get to used it. MERRY CHRISTMAS.. YOU CAN EAT MY FOOD HERE ANYTIMES just feel that im your good filipina neighbour here..

[maria_and_matt]

i know exactly what you mean.......HI..btw. im now in that situation..been here for 8months and it really breaks my heart the fact that the culture is so different and till now trying to get to used it. MERRY CHRISTMAS.. YOU CAN EAT MY FOOD HERE ANYTIMES just feel that im your good filipina neighbour here..

hahaha, you can also eat my food here at home pocahontas anytime, so darn lonely, i am looking at our neighbourhood all is indoors can blame them i think it is about to snow!

[Tonet]

I can understand how you feel, after i been on holiday back home and being reminded how is it to be home, i find it very very hard to be back here. I felt really lonely, bored and sad.

Its very quiet, nobody is outside and i dont even know our neighbour. I also find it hard that i cant just see my filipino friends, they are working so we need to schedule when can we see each other.
The season as well is not helping as its dark most time of the days, i miss the spirit of x'mas back in Philippines. (yun bang halos malanghap mo na ang amoy ng pasko pagsapit ng desyembre. and x'mas carolings)

With your question about being a wife, i have only been a Mrs. for more than 2 years but yeah i am still inlove with husband. I actually love him more now, because i know more about him. He is the reason why i cant just go back to Philippines because this is my home now, here with him. i know i i'm not going to be happy without him even i'm in Philippines.

[Tawi2]

Regrets?Never regret something you did,only regret things you didnt do,things you have already done are water under the bridge,they are past you cant change them so dont waste time mulling over them,but we have all been miserable gits at one time or another,its the Victor Meldrew stage in life

[Tish]

Regrets?Never regret something you did,only regret things you didnt do,things you have already done are water under the bridge,they are past you cant change them so dont waste time mulling over them,but we have all been miserable gits at one time or another,its the Victor Meldrew stage in life

Live life without regrets, that's my motto

BTW Tawi, I love watching 'one foot in the grave'

And I like him saying 'I don't believe it!'

Tish

[JimOttley]

Regrets?Never regret something you did,only regret things you didnt do,things you have already done are water under the bridge,they are past you cant change them so dont waste time mulling over them,but we have all been miserable gits at one time or another,its the Victor Meldrew stage in life

Wise words Tawi!

Jim

[Tish]

i cannot deny that i find life here so boring, my neighbours i do not know unlike back home where i can go house to house and eat their food. here you just cannot turn up at peoples houses unannounced.
huge culture difference as well, we are raised to help our elderly. here it nursing homes. we have a huge family that supports as back home, here it is just the hubby, and the kids.
.

Sorry to hear you finding life here boring and wishing you're back in PI Maria especially in this time of year.

I on the other hand feels so much at home and don't wish to be in PI in this time of year at all

I've got such wonderful family, friends, satisfying career and most of all, I can just ring my friends and ask them if I could just nip in to eat but mostly turns up unanounced!

I hope life gets better for you in more years to come-more so during the festive season.

Tish

[JimOttley]

ok i have been reading all the happy endings in this forum. met online fell in love got married, applied for a visa, visa granted, flying to the UK, eventually having kids.
being married of course is so exciting at first. but as time past, when the spark is gone, do you feel resentment of having to give up life in the philippines for our lives here? are you just as in love with your husband as the day you married him? do you have any regrets?
sometimes i do.. i look at my husband and think, dear what a miserable git he is. if i had a choice i would go back home and stay there! but unfortunately i have a son whose life is here, and there is no way i would leave him.
i cannot deny that i find life here so boring, my neighbours i do not know unlike back home where i can go house to house and eat their food. here you just cannot turn up at peoples houses unannounced.
huge culture difference as well, we are raised to help our elderly. here it nursing homes. we have a huge family that supports as back home, here it is just the hubby, and the kids.
hayzzz sorry for going on and on i guess i am just missing home so much especially now xmas is here.
i hope all you pinays have a good xmas and not missing home too much.

In a lot of ways Maria I really feel for you, personally I would go for the close family culture in the Phils not the isolated existence here in the UK. I know you have been here a long long time and I know it is very hard for you.

For me home is the Phils and I was born in Scotland, I cant get back this Christmas, too late to book, too expensive now and also my partner is not there just now anyway, she is back in Korea, but I still miss my kids and wish I could get back for them and the rest of the family.

Sadly a lot of us are miserable gits a lot of British men are very lacking in personality, something I am guilty of for my partner right now :( we have a lot of problems right now :(

My partner wants to be here in the UK but we have many technical problems on her side regarding that. My big worry has always been that I know how strong her family ties are and I know how much it will hurt her if she comes here for a long time but from a realistic viewpoint I want her here, such hard choices :( and even worse because much of it is outside our control.

I think you need a good long holiday Maria, get back home and reconnect with your family!


Jim

[Northerner]

I guess it will always be difficult to not just move country, but to move to the other side of the planet and into such a different culture!

whilst in the Philippines I asked Rizza if she was sure she wanted to do this, marry a western man and move far from all that she has ever known. I understand that kind of change will not be easy, there will be difficult times ahead.

I am also sure Maria that most Filipino wives will have had similar feelings to you, but you are brave enough to admit it. But like all those other Filipino women you put your marriage and family first

I just hope that people like me will learn from people like you, so that when I am supporting Rizza in her adjustment to life in the UK it is a little easier for us..

[maria_and_matt]

I guess it will always be difficult to not just move country, but to move to the other side of the planet and into such a different culture!

whilst in the Philippines I asked Rizza if she was sure she wanted to do this, marry a western man and move far from all that she has ever known. I understand that kind of change will not be easy, there will be difficult times ahead.

I am also sure Maria that most Filipino wives will have had similar feelings to you, but you are brave enough to admit it. But like all those other Filipino women you put your marriage and family first

I just hope that people like me will learn from people like you, so that when I am supporting Rizza in her adjustment to life in the UK it is a little easier for us..

i am sure rizza will be ok having a supportive husband like you, its just that with us my hubby thinks that i am now ok after having been here for 17 yrs. i am a filipina at heart and my heart, and home will always be the philippines

[maria_and_matt]

In a lot of ways Maria I really feel for you, personally I would go for the close family culture in the Phils not the isolated existence here in the UK. I know you have been here a long long time and I know it is very hard for you.

For me home is the Phils and I was born in Scotland, I cant get back this Christmas, too late to book, too expensive now and also my partner is not there just now anyway, she is back in Korea, but I still miss my kids and wish I could get back for them and the rest of the family.

Sadly a lot of us are miserable gits a lot of British men are very lacking in personality, something I am guilty of for my partner right now :( we have a lot of problems right now :(

My partner wants to be here in the UK but we have many technical problems on her side regarding that. My big worry has always been that I know how strong her family ties are and I know how much it will hurt her if she comes here for a long time but from a realistic viewpoint I want her here, such hard choices :( and even worse because much of it is outside our control.

I think you need a good long holiday Maria, get back home and reconnect with your family!


Jim

hi jim,
i hope that you will be with your partner soon. i know that i get lonely here but my husband and son is worth it. it will be too for your partner. this thread was just me thinking out loud. i hope things get better for you soon ~hugz~

i will go back home in july so that is one thing to look forward to

have a good xmas jim!

[pennybarry]

Day by day, I’m knowing about my husband, his moods, his likes and dislikes, how he’s deeply in-love with me, how he trusts me and vice versa. I love his bad and goods now. I feel love is really a magical thing and I treasure now our relationships. I feel that I can be with him as long as he loves me. But then, we both known our limitations. This made me no regrets and I’m thankful he understands and support me when it comes to having a holiday in our lupang sinilangan yearly.

Yes life here is sometimes boring, no doubt about it. Especially winter that we prefer to stay home because it’s freezing outside. Our sense of humour is now loosing as snow is approaching. I remember my last holiday and it was great and I had a good recovery beside my Nanay. I feel I was young again telling me not to go roaming around SM yet, Don’t go to your friends home, let them visit you here. Don’t climb in the mangoes and coconut trees. Don’t do that etc.

Sisters beside me after their work, nieces and nephews and I feel like a princess. Everyday at farm knicking my sister’s ampalaya, sitaw, talong, okra, papaya.That’s why when the day came to fly back, I feel the heartache. Hugged my Nanay so tenderly and iyakan na!

When I arrived back, I feel how happy is my husband having me again. In-laws the same. I love my In-laws and treat them as my second parents. Mom-in-law said, she believes grandma is part of the family and not to send at carehomes. It just happened that the house is hers and we have no kids. That’s why I don’t feel the boredom as I have 2 old folks to talk to. But they suggests me to study if I want to so I grabbed it and that’s help a lot as I love learning something new. That’s how I can escape from boredom.

Merry Christmas Maria and please enjoy your pasko. As I told you before, you've been here for ages. I understand it but sooner or later, we will retire in Pinas and live like a king and queen.

[KeithD]

Makes you wonder why these illegal immigrants try to get in this country that is supposed to be like Heaven with streets paved of gold! Same as those sneaking into the US, all that happens is they end up working in sweat shops for £5 a day.

Maria why not do what I do when you see a 'vacancy' somewhere?

You won't be the only one within say a 10 mile radius feeling that you do, so start a kind of 'support' group. You run it, you're the boss, and just use word of mouth and the internet. All you need do is arrange 'food parties' (and we know you'll like that ) twice a week in different people's houses, and then move onto nights out, day trips, etc. It gives you plenty to do and look forward towards. You can use this forum to start it if you wish.

Same goes for other 'lonely' Filipina's out there. You say you miss the family atmosphere, so make one here, it won't happen on it's own.

We could all be part of the countrywide 'FilipinoUK Friends Group' Whadya think?

[maria_and_matt]

Makes you wonder why these illegal immigrants try to get in this country that is supposed to be like Heaven with streets paved of gold! Same as those sneaking into the US, all that happens is they end up working in sweat shops for £5 a day.

Maria why not do what I do when you see a 'vacancy' somewhere?

You won't be the only one within say a 10 mile radius feeling that you do, so start a kind of 'support' group. You run it, you're the boss, and just use word of mouth and the internet. All you need do is arrange 'food parties' (and we know you'll like that ) twice a week in different people's houses, and then move onto nights out, day trips, etc. It gives you plenty to do and look forward towards. You can use this forum to start it if you wish.

Same goes for other 'lonely' Filipina's out there. You say you miss the family atmosphere, so make one here, it won't happen on it's own.

We could all be part of the countrywide 'FilipinoUK Friends Group' Whadya think?

sounds like a good idea but i have learnt that not everybody is as nice and as pleasant as the majority... you sometimes get characters that seem ok on the outside but not so good on the inside...
i also find that most pinays here especially where i live are so jealous of others.. they seem to always be in competition with what others have.. and i do not get that.. lets say if this pinay got a 3 bedroom house the others would say well i got a 4 bedroom house! this pinay gota new car, others would start a gossip that well she owes a lot of money! i mean for crying out loud what cant we just mind our own business and be happy for what our fellow pinay have.
just an example i was walking my dog and bumped into 'old pinay friends' they asked me where i worked and i said i dont, the reply was 'so ano gawa mo nagpapalaki ka na lng ng puke mo?' (please let ur wives translate this i cannot even find the right words to use!) and i went on to say that last year when i was actively looking for a part time job they circulated rumours that we are having financial difficulties...

all in all i think that i am still lucky with my hubby and son.. that maybe i think my husband is boring and he is a miserable git no doubt about that, but he loves me, he gives me everything and for that i am truly thankful for. most of this is just culture differences. i stay here coz i love them, i just hope he knows what i have given up to be here with them.

for all you brits love your pinay wives, we have given up so much to be here with you. merry xmas to all, i hope that we all have a blessed one!

[KeithD]

sounds like a good idea but i have learnt that not everybody is as nice and as pleasant as the majority... you sometimes get characters that seem ok on the outside but not so good on the inside...

Now you're making excuses! It'd be your group, your rules, as I run this forum, if they don't fit they are out. I never care what others think of me, I'm happy running this forum and if I upset a few folk along the way, hard luck.

Must be 100's of decent Filipina's in your area out of the 1000's, just looking for someone else decent to hang around with. Start with those you don't know.

[maria_and_matt]

Now you're making excuses! It'd be your group, your rules, as I run this forum, if they don't fit they are out. I never care what others think of me, I'm happy running this forum and if I upset a few folk along the way, hard luck.

Must be 100's of decent Filipina's in your area out of the 1000's, just looking for someone else decent to hang around with. Start with those you don't know.

k, i will start with you and ate ping

[KeithD]

k, i will start with you and ate ping

We're only into groups that use leather and whips

[somebody]

Now you're making excuses! It'd be your group, your rules, as I run this forum, if they don't fit they are out. I never care what others think of me, I'm happy running this forum and if I upset a few folk along the way, hard luck.

Must be 100's of decent Filipina's in your area out of the 1000's, just looking for someone else decent to hang around with. Start with those you don't know.

Very true the Wife and her mates went to a New Phill UK group Christmas Party where just about every phill in the local area and a few who had travel from further a field came.

Did most of them chat to people on other tables or make contacts/friends. Nope they stayed in their own small groups on the whole.
Although the Wife and her friends did chat to two ladies who sat on our table and had a laugh.

Very easy for people from any background to mope and be depressed, sometimes it does mean taking a few risks. Maybe people will be rude or bore/show off or what have you but then again they maybe great company.

Strangly at the xmas party many of the Brit blokes of various ages and backgrounds chatted to one another more than the Phills
Already bumped into a few of them out and about. Some were friendly still others were not, no skin off my nose.

Probably the reason we chatted was because there was no pressure for us to do, while many pinays in the UK feel the pressure to make friends

Said it before try to make friends with people from all backgrounds (many pinays came to the party with friends who were none phill) from what I noticed many of these seemed to know more pinays at the party, possibly as less pressure to befriend people

[pennybarry]

sounds like a good idea but i have learnt that not everybody is as nice and as pleasant as the majority... you sometimes get characters that seem ok on the outside but not so good on the inside...
i also find that most pinays here especially where i live are so jealous of others.. they seem to always be in competition with what others have.. and i do not get that.. lets say if this pinay got a 3 bedroom house the others would say well i got a 4 bedroom house! this pinay gota new car, others would start a gossip that well she owes a lot of money! i mean for crying out loud what cant we just mind our own business and be happy for what our fellow pinay have.
just an example i was walking my dog and bumped into 'old pinay friends' they asked me where i worked and i said i dont, the reply was 'so ano gawa mo nagpapalaki ka na lng ng puke mo?' (please let ur wives translate this i cannot even find the right words to use!) and i went on to say that last year when i was actively looking for a part time job they circulated rumours that we are having financial difficulties...

all in all i think that i am still lucky with my hubby and son.. that maybe i think my husband is boring and he is a miserable git no doubt about that, but he loves me, he gives me everything and for that i am truly thankful for. most of this is just culture differences. i stay here coz i love them, i just hope he knows what i have given up to be here with them.

for all you brits love your pinay wives, we have given up so much to be here with you. merry xmas to all, i hope that we all have a blessed one!

I understand what you mean Maria. Please don’t be offended as I can feel you are affected by dangerous and disgusting Filipinas around. I also feel what you feel when they giving bad comments about what we doing. I did receive bad comments too! I was just helping a friend to look after her other kid, and was told I am just a baby sitter. And when I started to go to college last year, I was told it’s impossible because we live in a village that far from college. What the h*ll is wrong with them?, I’m old and still studying they said. Gosh! I have 65 year old classmates. When I booked my flight, they started to be more jealous. Hay buhay!!! Since then I feel my enemies cannot hurt me but my friends will kill me so I started to dump them and move on without them. Since then I am aware with Filipinas but I always stay friendly with them. Say hi! Hello if I meet them anywhere as still they are my kababayans. But never will I’ll be affected with those kind of Filipina as I consider my Mom-in-law as my best friend and some lovely pinays close here. I just don’t know why young generations acts and feel they are rich when they step down UK soil. How many times they mentioned that I have no home. Nakikitira lang! But they don’t realized their house is council house and renting and my husband also pays my Mom weekly. They just even told me to get all my husband earnings like what they’re doing. But why they cannot afford to fly and go for a holidays if they have all their husband’s earnings?

Oh boy oh dear! Really hard to find a genuine friend in UK.
Just be brave Maria, having a loving son and a loving husband is great.
Just hello to them and give them smile. Tell them straight what you think is right.

Ring Ate Ping if you need to talk to mature, straight to the point pinay. Mature in sense of principles not mature in age.

[KeithD]

Ring Ate Ping if you need to talk to mature, straight to the point pinay.

....or ring me if you want the complete opposite

[pennybarry]

....or ring me if you want the complete opposite

Boss I really want to ring you and ask something about computer.
I can ring you too and ask you why there are more male webdesigners than women? That is something about opposite sex!

I don't know why I'm scared of you!
Although Ate Ping said, you are wonderful. Just sitting down with coffee beside you and you are alright.

[maria_and_matt]

I understand what you mean Maria. Please don’t be offended as I can feel you are affected by dangerous and disgusting Filipinas around. I also feel what you feel when they giving bad comments about what we doing. I did receive bad comments too! I was just helping a friend to look after her other kid, and was told I am just a baby sitter. And when I started to go to college last year, I was told it’s impossible because we live in a village that far from college. What the h*ll is wrong with them?, I’m old and still studying they said. Gosh! I have 65 year old classmates. When I booked my flight, they started to be more jealous. Hay buhay!!! Since then I feel my enemies cannot hurt me but my friends will kill me so I started to dump them and move on without them. Since then I am aware with Filipinas but I always stay friendly with them. Say hi! Hello if I meet them anywhere as still they are my kababayans. But never will I’ll be affected with those kind of Filipina as I consider my Mom-in-law as my best friend and some lovely pinays close here. I just don’t know why young generations acts and feel they are rich when they step down UK soil. How many times they mentioned that I have no home. Nakikitira lang! But they don’t realized their house is council house and renting and my husband also pays my Mom weekly. They just even told me to get all my husband earnings like what they’re doing. But why they cannot afford to fly and go for a holidays if they have all their husband’s earnings?

Oh boy oh dear! Really hard to find a genuine friend in UK.
Just be brave Maria, having a loving son and a loving husband is great.
Just hello to them and give them smile. Tell them straight what you think is right.

Ring Ate Ping if you need to talk to mature, straight to the point pinay. Mature in sense of principles not mature in age.

i just have 2 close pinay friends here where i live.. it just amazes me that even though i do not mingle with others they still find something to talk about

in a foreign country we filipinas should help and support each other not start rumours and be mean to each other. we shpuld be happy if our fellow filipinas are doing well in life! to all the pinay that are inggetera (jealous) TSE!

[vbkelly]

i just have 2 close pinay friends here where i live.. it just amazes me that even though i do not mingle with others they still find something to talk about

in a foreign country we filipinas should help and support each other not start rumours and be mean to each other. we shpuld be happy if our fellow filipinas are doing well in life! to all the pinay that are inggetera (jealous) TSE!

exactly!

[pennybarry]

in a foreign country we filipinas should help and support each other not start rumours and be mean to each other. we shpuld be happy if our fellow filipinas are doing well in life! to all the pinay that are inggetera (jealous) TSE!

Yes, I don't feel they are happy, if their co-pinays is learning and studying and doing wel in life. Crab mentality yan!

Kung naiinggit sila eh di gumaya sila. Tse! tse pwe!

[Arthur Little]

We could all be part of the countrywide 'FilipinoUK Friends Group'

An excellent ... I - for one - am all FOR it!

[lizaphil]

Makes you wonder why these illegal immigrants try to get in this country that is supposed to be like Heaven with streets paved of gold! Same as those sneaking into the US, all that happens is they end up working in sweat shops for £5 a day.

Maria why not do what I do when you see a 'vacancy' somewhere?

You won't be the only one within say a 10 mile radius feeling that you do, so start a kind of 'support' group. You run it, you're the boss, and just use word of mouth and the internet. All you need do is arrange 'food parties' (and we know you'll like that ) twice a week in different people's houses, and then move onto nights out, day trips, etc. It gives you plenty to do and look forward towards. You can use this forum to start it if you wish.

Same goes for other 'lonely' Filipina's out there. You say you miss the family atmosphere, so make one here, it won't happen on it's own.

We could all be part of the countrywide 'FilipinoUK Friends Group' Whadya think?

that is good idea boss...thanks for the advice.someone want to come round my house?
i got magic sing
im waiting who is interested

[South-east boy]

that is good idea boss...thanks for the advice.someone want to come round my house?
i got magic sing
im waiting who is interested

What's magic sing? A type of Karaoke?