i need help!!

[maria_and_matt]

as most of you know i have been here in the UK for about 17 years now.. i have not applied for a british passort coz i really really really want to stay a filipino.. ( i know about the dual nationality thing but ii really just dont want to be british, no offence to all the british here)... we have been constantly arguing about me needing to do it as it is a hassle when we go to the states getting visas..

about 3 weeks ago just to stop all the arguments i finally applied for naturalization.. and today i got the letter saying about taking an oath blah blah to the queen...

i still do not want to do it! i am half thinking if i leave it my hubby wont notice..

i know i am being stupid but i cannot help what i feel... i was born a filipino and i intend to die a filipino

[Pete67]

You will always be a Filipino first and foremost if you wish to, that's a fantastic thing about this country is it's respect for diversity, this oath thing is just ceremonial to perhaps show you accept/embrace/respect a British way of life etc, I wouldn't worry about it, it doesn't make you either less Filipino or more British, I think of myself as English not British, definitely not european but still hold a UK passport. Wish I could get an English one.

[adam&chryss]

Simple, don`t do it!
Then you can always apply for visas and have a pain in the trying to gain access to other countries, just like a true filipina!
Problem solved

[maria_and_matt]

Simple, don`t do it!
Then you can always apply for visas and have a pain in the trying to gain access to other countries, just like a true filipina!
Problem solved

i wont do it! i made up my mind

[bornatbirth]

stop being silly and get yourself a uk passport.

you will always be a filipina,even after 17 years here your still a filipina...so why with a uk passport will it make a difference,better still...get both....so when you travel your from UK and the rest of the time your filipina

[Tawi2]

Forget the practicalities,some people have strength of conviction,follow your heart If you dont want to do it why be forced into doing something against your will,do what you feel is best for you

[maria_and_matt]

Forget the practicalities,some people have strength of conviction,follow your heart If you dont want to do it why be forced into doing something against your will,do what you feel is best for you

awwwww, i wish my husband was more like you i have resisted for 17 yrs and resist more i will!

[maria_and_matt]

stop being silly and get yourself a uk passport.

you will always be a filipina,even after 17 years here your still a filipina...so why with a uk passport will it make a difference,better still...get both....so when you travel your from UK and the rest of the time your filipina

hey BAB, u sound like my hubby

[bornatbirth]

hey BAB, u sound like my hubby

and you sound like my wife,stubborn

[belfast_dude]

a passport does not make u british po....u r filipino and always will be po....a piece of paper will not change that....mabuhay philippines

[charlwill]

Hey, you have already started and the fact that you have paid for your application then, I should say, go on, be a British Citizen. That's only for papers that you become a citizen of this country but by blood you're still a filipino.

[aromulus]

hey BAB, u sound like my hubby

and you sound like my wife,stubborn

You both sound married to each other....

[maria_and_matt]

a passport does not make u british po....u r filipino and always will be po....a piece of paper will not change that....mabuhay philippines

mabuhay!!!

[maria_and_matt]

Hey, you have already started and the fact that you have paid for your application then, I should say, go on, be a British Citizen. That's only for papers that you become a citizen of this country but by blood you're still a filipino.

char mwah!

[maria_and_matt]

You both sound married to each other....

[Tawi2]

To some people their nationality is on par with their religion,both equally important,People have fought and died for both,its whats inside you,its how you feel and who you are,your identity,you have to be comfortable with that.

[joebloggs]

as most of you know i have been here in the UK for about 17 years now.. i have not applied for a british passort coz i really really really want to stay a filipino..

the UK has been your home for 17yrs

you're not less of a Filipino just because you have a British passport the advantages of having a British passport out weigh the dis-ads (if there are any )

I can't understand why, when you can have dual citizenship, if i lived in the phils for 17yrs and i could apply for phils citizenship, i know i would

[maria_and_matt]

the UK has been your home for 17yrs

you're not less of a Filipino just because you have a British passport the advantages of having a British passport out weigh the dis-ads (if there are any )

I can't understand why, when you can have dual citizenship, if i lived in the phils for 17yrs and i could apply for phils citizenship, i know i would

hmmmm, i just feel like i have given up a lot to be here already, and my pinoy passport is the only thing i have left that is ME. it is so hard to explain i know i am who i am whatever passport i carry.

what is the big deal about having a british passport anyway? easier to travel? i travel, been to the states 4 times europe a lot of times too. it has not been a problem before, a hassle maybe but not a big deal.

[joebloggs]

hmmmm, i just feel like i have given up a lot to be here already, and my pinoy passport is the only thing i have left that is ME. it is so hard to explain i know i am who i am whatever passport i carry.

what is the big deal about having a british passport anyway? easier to travel? i travel, been to the states 4 times europe a lot of times too. it has not been a problem before, a hassle maybe but not a big deal.

you've given up your family,friends and living in the phils to come here, just like every other filipina living here.

like you said your filipina passport is all you have left

my parents are from Lithuania I've never been there and know nothing of the place or culture, it does effect who i am one bit

advantages -

* the right to live permanently in the UK - at the moment you can only stay out of the UK for less than 2yrs, if you stay longer you'll have to apply for a visa to come to the UK and all the hassle that goes with it,

* the right to vote in UK national elections and elections to the European Parliament

* the advantages of being European Union (EU) citizens (e.g. ease of travel and gaining employment in other EU countries)

* eligibility to a range of state support both in the UK and abroad.


my wife is a British citizen, the main reason was, hopefully in a few years we can go and live in the phils for a year or so and come back to the uk for a few years and go back to the phils again without any problems

[KeithD]

......what is the big deal about having a british passport anyway? easier to travel? i travel, been to the states 4 times europe a lot of times too. it has not been a problem before, a hassle maybe but not a big deal.

....and Millions of Filipino's would pay £100,000's to change lives with you.

You're living in your own self-made-pity, and by thinking about all the negatives you are digging a deeper hole and heading towards full on depression. Only one person can help you and that is you. You need to get off your ass now and go help others in need, that gives you a sense of self worth and satisfaction.

I get the sense from some of the posts (including from Filipino's) that they think you are being selfish, but nothing wrong with thinking only of yourself, as long as it makes you happy doing so.

You like cooking (and eating from what I've heard from you ), so make some cakes, and take them to the old folk in the area you don't even know. They'll be grateful, invite you for a chat, tell others how great you are, and so it snowballs.

[maria_and_matt]

....and Millions of Filipino's would pay £100,000's to change lives with you.

You're living in your own self-made-pity, and by thinking about all the negatives you are digging a deeper hole and heading towards full on depression. Only one person can help you and that is you. You need to get off your ass now and go help others in need, that gives you a sense of self worth and satisfaction.

I get the sense from some of the posts (including from Filipino's) that they think you are being selfish, but nothing wrong with thinking only of yourself, as long as it makes you happy doing so.

You like cooking (and eating from what I've heard from you ), so make some cakes, and take them to the old folk in the area you don't even know. They'll be grateful, invite you for a chat, tell others how great you are, and so it snowballs.

i got off my ass ages ago... now apart from getting tired shopping, i am involved in visiting various hospitals and hospice taking Ruby, as we got her trained to be a PAT dog. i visit the elderly only in our neighborhood to see if they need help with shopping. the only real reason for my so called depression is early menopause, and i am not on on HRT (none of it men would understand nor most filipinas in this forum as they are a bit young). most days when i can hardly get up as they are some deterioration in my spinal cord which cause a lot of pain from my neck down, i still do my dang hardest to get up and see people so i dont wallow in self pity again.
so all in all given my present circumstances i think i am doing well, picking myself up and trying hard to live again. i can go on a psycho babble
on emotional and physical things i go through caused by an early hysterectomy but what is the point? my going on and on wont change the fact that i am on menopause and life as we all know it has got no pauses or rewind.
that is all.... bow!

[pennybarry]

Dear Maria,

Please don’t let menopause as your excuse. I have met many friends who are in their menopause and they still the same and same person after menopause.

Please don't be offended if I share you my Filipina friends in EU. I met a Filipina wife there who is a jealous wife really. She always nag and threat her husband with a bolo. Her husband loves her and decided to send her to psychologist for a therapy. She did change for better and I couldn’t believe it. Then, I met a german friend, his wife screwed around and he simply go to psychologist for a psychotherapy and he sounds good better and better. I asked my friends there, if it is just ok if they will have their wife and husband for a therapy? They said, it’s normal in EU as it’s help really.

In the Philippines, if you are under psycho-therapy, they think bad against you. But I have learned in Europe that it is just fine and normal if you feel too much disappointment, distress, bored etc. I don’t want to advise you to go for it but if this will help and I am sure it will, I will do it.

Sometimes, our best enemy is our self, not the other people.
With your passport, I have met many Filipinas who wish to apply British passport, but their problem is money and they can’t afford it. You are so lucky indeed.

I envy you having a new car and you can drive. That’s one thing I should learn in the future! I want a smart car!!!!

We love you Maria!

[maria_and_matt]

Dear Maria,

Please don’t let menopause as your excuse. I have met many friends who are in their menopause and they still the same and same person after menopause.

Please don't be offended if I share you my Filipina friends in EU. I met a Filipina wife there who is a jealous wife really. She always nag and threat her husband with a bolo. Her husband loves her and decided to send her to psychologist for a therapy. She did change for better and I couldn’t believe it. Then, I met a german friend, his wife screwed around and he simply go to psychologist for a psychotherapy and he sounds good better and better. I asked my friends there, if it is just ok if they will have their wife and husband for a therapy? They said, it’s normal in EU as it’s help really.

In the Philippines, if you are under psycho-therapy, they think bad against you. But I have learned in Europe that it is just fine and normal if you feel too much disappointment, distress, bored etc. I don’t want to advise you to go for it but if this will help and I am sure it will, I will do it.

Sometimes, our best enemy is our self, not the other people.
With your passport, I have met many Filipinas who wish to apply British passport, but their problem is money and they can’t afford it. You are so lucky indeed.

I envy you having a new car and you can drive. That’s one thing I should learn in the future! I want a smart car!!!!

We love you Maria!

i really do not believe that any women on early menopause is not affected physically or emotionally! i found that so so not true! i go to a group for women on early menopause and most women there are worst off than me. the mood swings that they go makes me look like i am not on menopause at all. a lady even tried killing herself. i think what you should understand is i am not suppose to be on menopause yet, this is a forced early onset caused by a complete hysterectomy.
and i do not need to see any psychologists to make me feel better, i am dealing with this the best way i know how. and i look at myself and feeling lucky that i am not as bad as most girls i know in our support group.

[KeithD]

You need to book yourself into a weekend spa

[maria_and_matt]

You need to book yourself into a weekend spa

we are going to wales early next year to do a walking holiday with ruby, looking forward to that! i do not need a british passport to go to wales

[adam&chryss]

hmmmm, i just feel like i have given up a lot to be here already, and my pinoy passport is the only thing i have left that is ME. it is so hard to explain i know i am who i am whatever passport i carry.

what is the big deal about having a british passport anyway? easier to travel? i travel, been to the states 4 times europe a lot of times too. it has not been a problem before, a hassle maybe but not a big deal.

Yes Maria you gave up a lot to be here, but what have you gained by being here?
I know there`s no family here but other than that i`m not sure theres any filipinas that live in a worse house, or have a worse job,or less money etc.
For sure you wouldnt still be here if it was that bad.
As you said you've been talking about it for a while because of the hassle when going to the states regarding visas.
If you dont want to do it then dont, easy d ba?
Everyone should be proud of their own country without a doubt.
I know i`m proud to be English and to see my country give opportunities to people that havn`t given them in their own country.
Anyway, if you have hassle getting through customs at least Phil can collect your bags and be ready waiting for you when you get through!
Or maybe thats your plan............

[ca143]

I hope you not refuse blood transfusion in the future if needed.

[bornatbirth]

we are going to wales early next year to do a walking holiday with ruby, looking forward to that! i do not need a british passport to go to wales

i think pennys right if your going to spend a few days in wales...you best see a psychologist...oh you can go and see the boss

[maria_and_matt]

Yes Maria you gave up a lot to be here, but what have you gained by being here?
I know there`s no family here but other than that i`m not sure theres any filipinas that live in a worse house, or have a worse job,or less money etc.
For sure you wouldnt still be here if it was that bad.
As you said you've been talking about it for a while because of the hassle when going to the states regarding visas.
If you dont want to do it then dont, easy d ba?
Everyone should be proud of their own country without a doubt.
I know i`m proud to be English and to see my country give opportunities to people that havn`t given them in their own country.
Anyway, if you have hassle getting through customs at least Phil can collect your bags and be ready waiting for you when you get through!
Or maybe thats your plan............

adam nah i gave up, my son asked me this as his christmas present, he gave me a sub story on how he would be extremely sad if a war broke out and they're only saving americans and british.... i love my son and i would give him anything he asks for, that includes me getting a british passport, me making a life here in UK as he prefers to live here. at the end of the day home is where my son is.

[eagles]

maria, there was a saying.. "sa haba ng prosisyon, sa simbahan parin ang hantong" I remember this upon reading your posts.. In life we walk in many roads, but deep in our heart we want to rest where our heart chooses too.

Have a vacation in phils for a while and have a feel of the country after lots of changes (good and bad) had taken place in Pinas..