How do you solve this problem?

[blackcat22]

It seems many people's answer to the problem is "save yourself the hassle don't do it, it's not necessary"


I'm mainly seeking advise from people who have done this in the past or currently i.e rent apartment for their lady and if it was favourable experience or if they later regret it and why

My caution is from what I know from many thai girls which I know some of them run many foreign bf in one go (have actually witnessed this in my little time i spent in thailand)

I suppose I could be wrong to bring the same suspicion to filipinos

[Steve.r]

My caution is from what I know from many thai girls which I know some of them run many foreign bf in one go (have actually witnessed this in my little time i spent in thailand)

I suppose I could be wrong to bring the same suspicion to filipinos

I think you use a big brush to tar a lot of people blackcat. But in the same breath, there are also many people like that the world over, here in the Uk also.
Take your time and build trust, if she lies, then the lies will surface soon enough. Personally, I don't see the point in renting somewhere, unless she is living on the street right now, but I am sure she lives with her family, so why would you even bother?

[Sim11UK]

Meet someone, gain trust, be trusting (provided there aren't obvious bad signs)...simple as that really...Just let things develop naturally.

Forget about greengrocers watching out for you, the wrong train of thought.
You have no financial obligation to house anyone....maybe possibly later, if you are gettting married, or whatever.

Plenty of happily marrieds here, because they built a relationship on trust.

[happydoc]

Take your time and build trust

I guess that time is the key factor - if blackcat feels that his gf fell in love with him so quickly then she might fall in love with someone else equally as quickly...

Love, in its infancy, does need protecting - or at least tending, like a young sappling - I'm assuming their relationship has gone beyond the germination phase...

Perhaps her friends and family would be better people to get to know rather than local greengrocers -ie. people who know her and could remind her of Blackcat's qualities if her eyes do get distracted... sort of like God-parents...offering a guiding hand rather than gestapo offering covert surveillance!

[Ladybug_sim]

It seems many people's answer to the problem is "save yourself the hassle don't do it, it's not necessary"


I'm mainly seeking advise from people who have done this in the past or currently i.e rent apartment for their lady and if it was favourable experience or if they later regret it and why

My caution is from what I know from many thai girls which I know some of them run many foreign bf in one go (have actually witnessed this in my little time i spent in thailand)

I suppose I could be wrong to bring the same suspicion to filipinos

Hi! Blackcat22, Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year soon… just read your post on here and I know some of our co-members on the forum said right things but still you keep looking on how to solve the problem. As for my opinion to share too, even it is from your friend I think he did the right thing if he think it is best for his woman coz sometime we did think things that good for the one we love what ever cause or happen as long as he did the part he think best for their relationship or for his mahal… what you experience it is the things happen too when one is not too careful on having their love one ... but women are good when the one be good for them but there’s someone bad too when their life are so taught. Coz so far from now I can only say that never trust the person when you think you cant trust him/her… it is good that you know their family and to show that your friend is really serious for her but when you think that woman is not really worth for the trust or love he give then better you keep on watch for the things happen.. I never say that the things he did is not good because it is the one he think that his mahal be ok when he is far from her then the hold of love, trust, and respect as what we want to the relationship even far or near to each other.

I know that not all are good women or men but sometime we need to try what the right things we can do in life as long we can make them happy or we feel the happiness we did to them… It is not a matter what things we did too but a matter what we can do to someone we think that he/she is the right one or the one we love. Yes, sometime things too complicated lots of heartache, frustration, etc… but we keep learning for all the things in our life. There’s no such things as a perfect life, but it can be filled w/ perfect moments… we are glad if their relationship be success soon but we feel sorry when things not too good but still don’t forget life still keep going on … so keep on smile and thanks what you did or he did... think positive and what ever you he did just counted as blessing you shared to someone you known and love too ..

Happy New Year to all

[SteveTalaga]

It seems many people's answer to the problem is "save yourself the hassle don't do it, it's not necessary"


I'm mainly seeking advise from people who have done this in the past or currently i.e rent apartment for their lady and if it was favourable experience or if they later regret it and why

My caution is from what I know from many thai girls which I know some of them run many foreign bf in one go (have actually witnessed this in my little time i spent in thailand)

I suppose I could be wrong to bring the same suspicion to filipinos

I agree with many other replies here that you shouldn't rent an apartment for her if she doesn't really need it at this stage of your relationship but I do think that you shouldn't consider Filipinos to be the same as Thai. GENERALLY SPERAKING Thai girls are far more materialistic than Filipinas. I read an excellent book recently (Private Dancer) which talks about Thai girls and their relationships with foreigners and the trust and suspicion issues that you describe. Whilst there are some similarities with any and all races, generally speaking Filipinas are far more caring than Thai girls and love you rather than your assets.

[triple5]

I agree with many other replies here that you shouldn't rent an apartment for her if she doesn't really need it at this stage of your relationship but I do think that you shouldn't consider Filipinos to be the same as Thai. GENERALLY SPERAKING Thai girls are far more materialistic than Filipinas. I read an excellent book recently (Private Dancer) which talks about Thai girls and their relationships with foreigners and the trust and suspicion issues that you describe. Whilst there are some similarities with any and all races, generally speaking Filipinas are far more caring than Thai girls and love you rather than your assets.

Private Dancer is about a Thai bar girl and is a work of fiction, so to judge your perceptions of Thai girls on that isn't really fair. A lot of westerners get involved with Thai bar girls and get ripped off, then have this mindset that all Thai girls are only after one thing. Same as in any country you'll always get your golddiggers. Where did you get the idea that thais are more materialistic than pinays?

[SteveTalaga]

...Where did you get the idea that thais are more materialistic than pinays?

Having lived in both Thailand and the Philippines I just gained this perception from experience. Please note that I did say "Generally speaking".

[somebody]

It seems many people's answer to the problem is "save yourself the hassle don't do it, it's not necessary"


I'm mainly seeking advise from people who have done this in the past or currently i.e rent apartment for their lady and if it was favourable experience or if they later regret it and why

My caution is from what I know from many thai girls which I know some of them run many foreign bf in one go (have actually witnessed this in my little time i spent in thailand)

I suppose I could be wrong to bring the same suspicion to filipinos

I like many others did not rent the wifeto be (at the time) an appartment we did look into it me suggesting and pushing for more than the Wife.
Strangely i ended up paying for the Wifes Mum and her younger siblings to move into rented accomdation for a short period in the local town but that was due to a family emegency. The money went where it should and they were very grateful to be assited and I was honoured to be in the situation to help them. Several years later the mother in law was able to host us when in Italy and was grateful still for the help at the time

Its to easy to say yes or no to should you provide an appartment. It depends on so many factors.

But if you have just met a Lady and still dont feel you know her well enough risking the outlay of rent is to me a little silly. A years rent in phill is still quite a sum of money and does that mean you will pay all her other living expenses.
What level of housing and support is she used to now and what would you providse would this then cause issues when she ends up in a run of the mill house in the UK not living the makati life style Or is it just a place to put her head and basic support which if your involved with someone is the least you can do morally?

Although thanks to this site and others I was very cautious by the time I was supporting the Wife if she needed help (the fact she could stop working and learned English to a far higher level plus spend a lot of time with her family was a massive bonsus to this day )

When I helped the family out I knew them well and I didn't even need to think abnout it once i knew all the facts.

If its to help your Mahal who you love and trust then go ahead but be warned if you set the standard to high.

With regards trust whatever anyone on here says you can never trust a fellow human 100 percent all human beings have the abilty to cheat, lie or simply decide they dont want to be with another human. To be honest its there right as it is with you.

All you can do is bulid as a high level of trust and lets be honest so many human interactions in social and the business world depend on people trusting others..

So in a nutshell.

Providing a apartment.

1. Are you both in love?

2. will the level of accomdation and support be the same or bettered once in the UK?

3. can you afford it if it does go wrong?

4. What happens if it all turns sour? Do you simply stop paying the rent/support straight off or?