What are you like with text/sms messages?

[South-east boy]

It really doesn't look good now. At just before 11am she opened one of my e-cards, but not sure if it was the Christmas or New year one. She didn't send one back reply or send an email. As 11am here is 7pm there, I doubt that it was at work, so was either at home or at a cyber cafe I guess. I tried her mobile and it said that it was unattended or was out of coverage. I tried her home no. a bit later and a sister who had problems understanding me said that she wasn't back. Tried her mobile later and a guy answered with a dog barking and thought I might have wrong no. or the phone had been left somewhere.

Phoned again later and a woman answered in English, but couldn't seem to hear me at all, then put the phone down. When I tried her home no. after it was engaged for a while. Tried her mobile later and there was no answer. Then she popped up on yahoo and said something I think it was in the status box and I was just going to write it down before opening a chat box, before she went onto mobile and the message went. I said 'jeg', then I'm not sure what. I phoned her home no. again and her sister said that she was asleep, which I'm not sure if I believe as it was only 10pm, she never normally goes to bed that early and it was so soon after she had just been on yahoo so briefly.



Feel like going off to beachey head, but I wouldn't be able to get there because of the snow!

Sorry, to have gone on so much and to have bored everybody that has read this. Looks like I'm back to being on my own again as per usual. Can't really talk to many people about this either, as they won't understand or think I've been stupid. Just don't know what I do wrong?

[TomThumb]

Sorry to hear that South-east boy. I think you're right. Having gone to bed is a pants excuse if she hasn't contacted you for 9 days. It's pretty clear to me that she's deliberately avoiding you. I don't know why some people think that suddenly cutting off contact is an acceptable way to behave. It's particularly odd from a Christian, who presumably believes that she will be called to answer for her actions.
I'm sure it's not much consolation, but with somebody like this, the sooner you find out about their true character, the better for you. Can I ask please if before this she seemed to be a caring person?
Good luck to you and best wishes,
Tom.

[South-east boy]

Sorry to hear that South-east boy. I think you're right. Having gone to bed is a pants excuse if she hasn't contacted you for 9 days. It's pretty clear to me that she's deliberately avoiding you. I don't know why some people think that suddenly cutting off contact is an acceptable way to behave. It's particularly odd from a Christian, who presumably believes that she will be called to answer for her actions.
I'm sure it's not much consolation, but with somebody like this, the sooner you find out about their true character, the better for you. Can I ask please if before this she seemed to be a caring person?
Good luck to you and best wishes,
Tom.

It's actually 11 days now and before I called once and she had gone to bed, one of her sisters said do you want me to wake her? I'm surprised that she has acted this way, as like I mentioned before I had said that a previous GF that I was in a LDR with had done this years ago.

As I said, she says that she is religious, goes to church at least twice a week and she only recently said that I should renew my faith (my family are religious, but I haven't gone to church very often for quite a while-partly because of not having much luck in meeting someone with trying for so long and being single feeling the odd one out etc).

Yes, she has seemed pretty caring before and said that once, that she would prefer to be ill/in pain rather than me. She had also said that she wasn't seeing anyone else. I just don't understand if she wanted out/was in contact with someone else, why the sudden disappearance and to have carried on the contact for so long? For someone that is supposedly so religious, she doesn't seem to have acted in a very Christian way and seems to make a mockery of how Christians are meant to be behave or how God would want them to behave. Maybe more Christians are like this than we think? I think I have acted in a more Christian way than she has!

Over Christmas I showed my parents a lot of photos of her, her family and where she lived etc, now I just feel stupid, used and lonely.

[Juana]

As I said, she says that she is religious, goes to church at least twice a week and she only recently said that I should renew my faith (my family are religious, but I haven't gone to church very often for quite a while-partly because of not having much luck in meeting someone with trying for so long and being single feeling the odd one out etc).

Yes, she has seemed pretty caring before and said that once, that she would prefer to be ill/in pain rather than me. She had also said that she wasn't seeing anyone else. I just don't understand if she wanted out/was in contact with someone else, why the sudden disappearance and to have carried on the contact for so long? For someone that is supposedly so religious, she doesn't seem to have acted in a very Christian way and seems to make a mockery of how Christians are meant to be behave or how God would want them to behave. Maybe more Christians are like this than we think? I think I have acted in a more Christian way than she has!

Is she Roman Catholic? I ask this because you said that she goes to church twice a week, I don't know if there are other religious sects but I know for one that members of Iglesia ni Cristo do go to church twice a wk and they don't celebrate Christmas (that's probably why you didn't get a card).

With regards to what u said about Christians and being religious etc, I don't think I agree. Im not a religious person and for now my spiritual health is not that good but to err is only human and regardless of what a person's religion is, we are all susceptible to wrong doings. People go to church to seek enlightenment and to help them be a better person.

Can I ask how old she is? She may just be acting immaturely. But then again over a week is too long to haven't said anything. She may just be finding the courage to tell you what it is that's bothering her.

[South-east boy]

Is she Roman Catholic? I ask this because you said that she goes to church twice a week, I don't know if there are other religious sects but I know for one that members of Iglesia ni Cristo do go to church twice a wk and they don't celebrate Christmas (that's probably why you didn't get a card).

With regards to what u said about Christians and being religious etc, I don't think I agree. Im not a religious person and for now my spiritual health is not that good but to err is only human and regardless of what a person's religion is, we are all susceptible to wrong doings. People go to church to seek enlightenment and to help them be a better person.

Can I ask how old she is? She may just be acting immaturely. But then again over a week is too long to haven't said anything. She may just be finding the courage to tell you what it is that's bothering her.

She is 25. Yes, she is Roman Catholic and does celebrate Christmas. I know that Christian people are not perfect and will makes mistake from time to time, but if you call yourself a Christian, you should have a good heart, be a good a person as you can and live life a Christian way etc. For someone to say that they are a strong Christian, then to hurt (maybe lie, deceive and scam/try to get gifts/money, who knows?) a good person that has done all that they can for your and your family (and that you know how they have been hurt before), goes against all Christian teaching and I don't know how someone that can do that, can call themselves a strong Christian. I find it quite hypocritical really.

[Sim11UK]

(maybe lie, deceive and scam/try to get gifts/money, who knows?) a good person that has done all that they can for your and your family (and that you know how they have been hurt before)

I don't think you should think you've been scammed, just a case of there maybe someone else, who has confirmed a trip out there?
Triple5 is right, you do have to win their hearts, surest way, is to get out there...It's the only way you can build a proper relationship.

Don't be put off, you'll find someone if you really want to...You've just had a knockback.

[Sophie]

So sorry to hear about your story south east boy, it was pretty clear that this girl is deliberately avoiding you and disregarding your calls and messages.......
She doesn't even have the decency to tell you straight if she wants out of the relationship or found someone else.....
It may hurt you but atleast you know the reason, because there's nothing worst than not knowing at all......
She just left you in the dark confused, guessing and wondering what went wrong or what have you done for her to ignore you and simply vanish....
You seem like a very nice and genuine guy, you deserve better and i hope you'll find the right girl

[South-east boy]

So sorry to hear about your story south east boy, it was pretty clear that this girl is deliberately avoiding you and disregarding your calls and messages.......
She doesn't even have the decency to tell you straight if she wants out of the relationship or found someone else.....
It may hurt you but atleast you know the reason, because there's nothing worst than not knowing at all......
She just left you in the dark confused, guessing and wondering what went wrong or what have you done for her to ignore you and simply vanish....
You seem like a very nice and genuine guy, you deserve better and i hope you'll find the right girl

Thank you for your kind words Sophie. It's situations that have happened with me & similar that make people think this is how most Filipinas are -I know friends that know about my situations will now think this. I have been warned by a Chinese girl before too. If it wasn't for getting to know some of you lovely ladies on here a little, I guess I would be wondering if this is how a lot of Filipinas treat guys as well. It's sad that a few people that don't care about hurting others give others a bad name.

[Sophie]

Thank you for your kind words Sophie. It's situations that have happened with me & similar that make people think this is how most Filipinas are -I know friends that know about my situations will now think this. I have been warned by a Chinese girl before too. If it wasn't for getting to know some of you lovely ladies on here a little, I guess I would be wondering if this is how a lot of Filipinas treat guys as well. It's sad that a few people that don't care about hurting others give others a bad name.

You're welcome tim And don't loose heart, you'll find the right girl, in time.....
There's still a lot of genuine filipinas out there, as a matter of fact, i think there's one available in this forum - it's jam
Sorry jam and tim, i like to play matchmaker, i can't help it, hehehe

[Doc Alan]

You're welcome tim And don't loose heart, you'll find the right girl, in time.....
There's still a lot of genuine filipinas out there, as a matter of fact, i think there's one available in this forum - it's jam
Sorry jam and tim, i like to play matchmaker, i can't help it, hehehe

I agree (again!) with Sophie. I can see that you're a genuine guy who needs to regain your self respect. Jam is most certainly a genuine filipina. Arthur has reminded us that there are untrustworthy people here in Britain and I have my own experience of that. I'm not a matchmaker but I'm sure, in time, things will work out for you !

[jam07]

You're welcome tim And don't loose heart, you'll find the right girl, in time.....
There's still a lot of genuine filipinas out there, as a matter of fact, i think there's one available in this forum - it's jam
Sorry jam and tim, i like to play matchmaker, i can't help it, hehehe

I agree (again!) with Sophie. I can see that you're a genuine guy who needs to regain your self respect. Jam is most certainly a genuine filipina. Arthur has reminded us that there are untrustworthy people here in Britain and I have my own experience of that. I'm not a matchmaker but I'm sure, in time, things will work out for you !

guys, lets give south-east boy a break his heart has just been broken and I know it will take a while to heal.

thanks for the compliment doc alan! thats sweet of you
thanks for being sweet sophie!

i hope everything will be okay with you seb!

[liane]

And don't loose heart, you'll find the right girl, in time.....
There's still a lot of genuine filipinas out there, as a matter of fact, i think there's one available in this forum - it's jam
Sorry jam and tim, i like to play matchmaker, i can't help it, hehehe

Their names even look nice together Jam and Tim.

[South-east boy]

Thanks for taking the time to reply everyone.

Well I phoned her mobile again this morning as I just wanted an answer etc and again someone answered and just kept saying "hello, hello!" then something in tagalog. She acted like she couldn't hear or understand, but I'm sure she could here as this went on for over 6 minutes, with me asking if Suzie was there etc. If you couldn't hear or understand someone, you wouldn't still be saying "hello" after 6 minutes.

So after a while I phoned her home no and a sister said that she was out at the time, but would be back about 11pm. I asked if there was a problem with her mobile phone and she said that it was destroyed & was trying to get a new one. So I phoned at 11pm, and Suzie answered! She said that her phone had a virus that had come from the PC an it had been out of action for well over a week. I know that there is something up with her PC, as sometimes when we have been chatting on yahoo, some thing saying 'Happy sankranti/pongal http://crackspider.net' keeps popping up very so often on it's own accord. She said that she is trying to get a new phone at the moment. I said about the previous phone calls when someone answered and just kept saying "hello, hello" and she said "are you sure? Maybe it was just the phone operator?" She said that she had been staying with her cousins after Christmas in the Province at Cole (?). She also said that the internet was down at home as the bill hadn't been paid and at work they had cut it off as a manager had caught a teacher playing games on them. Seems a sudden lot of things going wrong all at once?!

She then asked what I thought of her and she thought that I thought of her as just a friend. I said that I wouldn't have done what I did, make the effort that I did if she was just a 'friend', that I wouldn't have been as worried as I had been and that I wasn't in contact with anyone else because of her. So I asked her the same thing and she said that she thought of me as a friend as anyone that she has met on the internet until they go to see her, she won't totally believe them as it's easy for guys to chat to many women on the internet and say this & that, but not really mean it + a lot of guys find lying very easily. She also thinks this as she had been hurt before and that since her dad passed away, that she was trying to avoid being hurt even more. She said that she hadn't been back on FH since meeting me and that I could check if I wanted. She also said that she had said to me before about until someone goes to see her etc, but I certainly don't remember as I would not have spent what I did on her Birthday, Christmas and family presents.

Anyway, we are meant to be chatting again shortly and she said that she would go to an internet cafe, catch up with my emails and explain how she feels about everything.

I know people have said before that a lot of Filipinas want action and the guy to prove what he feels and going to see them etc. The thing is, I don't want someone to want me just because I have gone to see them, I want them to want me because of how I am and that they have fallen for me. Of course me going to see them would make it complete. To make going even more slightly worrying, I have been in contact with British girls over here before from dating sites. We have got on great, chatted on the phone, etc etc, then met up and they have acted differently or once we have met, then not wanted to see me again. It's a lot of money to spend if once you have met, they still only see you as a friend, but would be easier to go and see them if you know that they felt for you a lot and maybe even love you a bit.

Will keep you posted as to what happens, .

[liane]

Tim, ask yourself if you believe her excuses of not getting in touch with you for 12 days? She should have been aware that you'll be worried and she could have done something or made some way to let you know how she's been doing for the past days.
I'm afraid she's been in contact with some men and maybe trying to see who will come and get her first
Better watch out Tim.

We will be waiting for your follow up posts.

[jam07]

Thanks for taking the time to reply everyone.

Well I phoned her mobile again this morning as I just wanted an answer etc and again someone answered and just kept saying "hello, hello!" then something in tagalog. She acted like she couldn't hear or understand, but I'm sure she could here as this went on for over 6 minutes, with me asking if Suzie was there etc. If you couldn't hear or understand someone, you wouldn't still be saying "hello" after 6 minutes.

So after a while I phoned her home no and a sister said that she was out at the time, but would be back about 11pm. I asked if there was a problem with her mobile phone and she said that it was destroyed & was trying to get a new one. So I phoned at 11pm, and Suzie answered! She said that her phone had a virus that had come from the PC an it had been out of action for well over a week. I know that there is something up with her PC, as sometimes when we have been chatting on yahoo, some thing saying 'Happy sankranti/pongal http://crackspider.net' keeps popping up very so often on it's own accord. She said that she is trying to get a new phone at the moment. I said about the previous phone calls when someone answered and just kept saying "hello, hello" and she said "are you sure? Maybe it was just the phone operator?" She said that she had been staying with her cousins after Christmas in the Province at Cole (?). She also said that the internet was down at home as the bill hadn't been paid and at work they had cut it off as a manager had caught a teacher playing games on them. Seems a sudden lot of things going wrong all at once?!

She then asked what I thought of her and she thought that I thought of her as just a friend. I said that I wouldn't have done what I did, make the effort that I did if she was just a 'friend', that I wouldn't have been as worried as I had been and that I wasn't in contact with anyone else because of her. So I asked her the same thing and she said that she thought of me as a friend as anyone that she has met on the internet until they go to see her, she won't totally believe them as it's easy for guys to chat to many women on the internet and say this & that, but not really mean it + a lot of guys find lying very easily. She also thinks this as she had been hurt before and that since her dad passed away, that she was trying to avoid being hurt even more. She said that she hadn't been back on FH since meeting me and that I could check if I wanted. She also said that she had said to me before about until someone goes to see her etc, but I certainly don't remember as I would not have spent what I did on her Birthday, Christmas and family presents.

Anyway, we are meant to be chatting again shortly and she said that she would go to an internet cafe, catch up with my emails and explain how she feels about everything.

I know people have said before that a lot of Filipinas want action and the guy to prove what he feels and going to see them etc. The thing is, I don't want someone to want me just because I have gone to see them, I want them to want me because of how I am and that they have fallen for me. Of course me going to see them would make it complete. To make going even more slightly worrying, I have been in contact with British girls over here before from dating sites. We have got on great, chatted on the phone, etc etc, then met up and they have acted differently or once we have met, then not wanted to see me again. It's a lot of money to spend if once you have met, they still only see you as a friend, but would be easier to go and see them if you know that they felt for you a lot and maybe even love you a bit.

Will keep you posted as to what happens, .

I'm glad Suzie finally answered your call. But still, I dont buy her excuses. Actually, I think its full of crap . First the mobile excuse. An 'operator' will answer you call? This is definitely not true as no 'operator' is assigned to a mobile subscriber either postpaid or prepaid Second, the home internet excuse. She said that the internet at home is down because the bill hasnt paid yet. If this is the case, I believe she is a postpaid internet subscriber. I am a post paid internet subscriber as well. I know that the monthly internet and phone charges are under one billing statement. So if your you cant pay your phone charges its definite that you cant pay the internet as well. You cant pay them separately. Once unpaid, both the internet and the phone services will be cut-off. But you can call her on her landline the past few days right? So how can that be? hmmm... third, another mobile excuse. Her sister said that Suzie's phone got destroyed and then Suzie says that her mobile has virus which one is the truth then?

She thought of you as a 'friend'. Hmmm... thats something... Something I'm gonna be bothered about if I am in your shoes. It only shows that the feeling is not mutual. Anyways, she will be back online again right? I hope she can explain everything well and maybe sort out what kind of relationship you guys have

[Doc Alan]

It really doesn't look good now.




Feel like going off to beachey head, but I wouldn't be able to get there because of the snow!

Sorry, to have gone on so much and to have bored everybody that has read this. Looks like I'm back to being on my own again as per usual. Can't really talk to many people about this either, as they won't understand or think I've been stupid. Just don't know what I do wrong?

Don't even think (or joke) about Beachy Head ! You have not bored us. It's a case of recognising when a relationship's wrong, and re-gaining your self respect. I agree with Sophie's latest message.