What are you like with text/sms messages?

[South-east boy]

I think its lame when you ditch someone you know for a couple of months for someone who is practically a stranger ... Its not that we are blaming you of not meeting her while on the earlier stage of um... 'relationship' but dont you think it will make things a bit diff'rent if you come and visit her?... I'm sorry about what happend to you but I (as well as the others i think) am not suprised that this will end up like this and she will ditch you once she gets in-touch with you again. I think it doesnt end there, wait till she meet the danish guy. If she is not attracted to him, I have a feeling that she will communicate with you again

Thanks Jam. Well it was 7 months which seem to have meant nothing to her. Oh of course, it would be different if I went to see her, but I wasn't getting wrong enough feelings from her to make me want to go more. Like you mentioned earlier, I would not be surprised if she had been with the Danish guy during that time when I couldn't get hold of her. Also because she seems to be breaking it off with me and she says that she hasn't met him yet, so she has either met him and is keen or hasn't met him but is so keen that she is trying to break it off with me. What if she meets him and doesn't like or get on with him, then with what she has said to me, kinda ending it, she will be back to no-one. Do you think that she would do this before having met the Danish guy & risking having no-one? Kinda putting all her eggs in the basket of a stranger against someone that she has known for 7 months.

In one of my first posts about this, I wondered if this is what might have happened (another guy gone to see her). But if not and she is meeting him next week, but they end up not getting on, after what she has said, if you were me, would you still be interested in her?

[jam07]

Thanks Jam. Well it was 7 months which seem to have meant nothing to her. Oh of course, it would be different if I went to see her, but I wasn't getting wrong enough feelings from her to make me want to go more. Like you mentioned earlier, I would not be surprised if she had been with the Danish guy during that time when I couldn't get hold of her. Also because she seems to be breaking it off with me and she says that she hasn't met him yet, so she has either met him and is keen or hasn't met him but is so keen that she is trying to break it off with me. What if she meets him and doesn't like or get on with him, then with what she has said to me, kinda ending it, she will be back to no-one. Do you think that she would do this before having met the Danish guy & risking having no-one? Kinda putting all her eggs in the basket of a stranger against someone that she has known for 7 months.

In one of my first posts about this, I wondered if this is what might have happened (another guy gone to see her). But if not and she is meeting him next week, but they end up not getting on, after what she has said, if you were me, would you still be interested in her?

NO! i would be if i take her back...

What she did is really unacceptable and rude. I hope everything will be okay with you. So cheer up! You'll be lucky in love someday.

All the best Tim!

[South-east boy]

Thanks again Jam!

Actually this is the second time that I have done all I can, been kind and caring etc with a Filipina (last one was in uk) and they have ended it by saying that they didn't feel for me. The last timeI loved her, so was very hurt - even more so when started seeing someone else

Anyway, would have been interesting to know what would have happened if a different phone no. rang suzie's mobile phone?!

[Arthur Little]

rang suzie's mobile phone?!

I realise it's a great temptation to do this, Tim. And it's the sort of thing I might so easily have succumbed to myself. But frankly, you're wasting your time ... and money ... because there's no point in "flogging a dead horse ... "!

By MY reckoning, you're a really decent guy ... who deserves a lot better ... and, trust me, you WILL meet someone worthy of your affection!

[South-east boy]

I realise it's a great temptation to do this, Tim. And it's the sort of thing I might so easily have succumbed to myself. But frankly, you're wasting your time ... and money ... because there's no point in "flogging a dead horse ... "!

By MY reckoning, you're a really decent guy ... who deserves a lot better ... and, trust me, you WILL meet someone worthy of your affection!

Just had another night without much sleep!

Hi Arthur. I didn't mean ring her myself, I wondered if a different Phils phone no. had rang her, if she would have answered it/will answer it to know if the reasons/excuses she gave were true or not?

One other thing, is that once a while back when I was getting the make-up etc as presents, of course I had to mention it, as I would not know about what colours/shades for her, I did half jokingly say, that with all this great make-up that I was worried that she would have a lot of guys after her and she said that she would not be interested, that she is only talking to me. Why if I was just a friend would I say such a thing? Surely that would have said to her that I thought more of her as a friend? And with the presents if you were her and you thought of me of just friends, then you heard about me buying the presents, would you not say, don't spend much, as we are only friends, spend it on a future GF etc? Would a friend go to as much trouble over a friend that he has never met? Personally if I knew someone that I thought of as a friend was sending me lots of things, when I was sending them nothing, I would feel quite embarrassed and awkward about it. She also never asked me about how I was getting on with any ladies and if I was going on any dates etc. If she thought of me as just a friend, wouldn't she have asked that in some point in the past?

She also started the Yahoo conversation yesterday with "Hello friend" which she has never said before in the whole time that we have been in contact. I think that she's either met this other guy or has decided on him, so is trying to distance herself from me.

This is what partly worries me about flying to see a lady so quickly, I like to get to know someone well as then over a period of time you will get to know them and know how various things make them feel -happy and sad. Hopefully they will show what they are really like. If she has shown how she really is now and is maybe not so nice & caring, what if I had flown to see her a while back? She could put on the same front as earlier and I could be arranging to marry her without knowing what she is really like and any not-so nice hidden sides that she has.

She had said before that her parents wanted her to find a guy from Europe or USA and that she has never bothered with other guys or Phils guys

[Sophie]

Hello tim, i'm sorry for what happened, i know how much it must have hurt you but for what it's worth, atleast now you know the truth and no longer left in the dark wondering.....

I don't want to play devil's advocate but i got a strong feeling she already met this danish guy, i suspect that guy was over there the entire 12 days you cannot get hold of her.
And i don't believe her claims either that she's not in contact with any other guys but you. She must be chatting to this guy thesame time she's chatting with you.
And she must have lied to you about it since it will just put you off if you find out. She obviously kept her options open.
And when this danish guy decided to go there and visit her, she still did not tell you about him, she probably figured that if it doesn't work out with this guy, she still got you....

And now that she could have already met this guy and it went well, that's when she finally decided to ditch you and all of a sudden came up with claims about you as
being "just friends" and nothing special between you two, when she was quite sweet with her messages to you before which is certainly not in a "friendship" kind of way,
not to mention happily accepting all the presents you sent for her and her family without any hesitation or reluctance.
And looks like she's sticking to her previous story up to now that she's never been in contact with any other guy, to probably save her face and not admit she's a big liar.....

It's quite far fetched that this danish guy, who she claims as a total stranger and who she never chatted to nor she ever seen in photos,
suddenly decided to meet her next week and just like that, she made up her mind over this guy? I don't think so and i don't buy it.
She obviously met and have been with this guy already for her to make up her mind and be deadset on this danish guy and get rid of you just like that
after everything you had before and after all the nice things you've done for her....

She's not right for you and if its any consolation, i think its for the best since you wouldn't want to be with the kind of woman that she is.....
Life is too short to waste our time and emotions to undeserving and unworthy people who bother not to reciprocate our genuine affection....
and if i were you, i won't mourn nor feel sad about loosing her, she's not worth your tears and grief......Its her loss, not yours.

[South-east boy]

Hello tim, i'm sorry for what happened, i know how much it must have hurt you but for what it's worth, atleast now you know the truth and no longer left in the dark wondering.....

I don't want to play devil's advocate but i got a strong feeling she already met this danish guy, i suspect that guy was over there the entire 12 days you cannot get hold of her.
And i don't believe her claims either that she's not in contact with any other guys but you. She must be chatting to this guy thesame time she's chatting with you.
And she must have lied to you about it since it will just put you off if you find out. She obviously kept her options open.
And when this danish guy decided to go there and visit her, she still did not tell you about him, she probably figured that if it doesn't work out with this guy, she still got you....

And now that she could have already met this guy and it went well, that's when she finally decided to ditch you and all of a sudden came up with claims about you as
being "just friends" and nothing special between you two, when she was quite sweet with her messages to you before which is certainly not in a "friendship" kind of way,
not to mention happily accepting all the presents you sent for her and her family without any hesitation or reluctance.
And looks like she's sticking to her previous story up to now that she's never been in contact with any other guy, to probably save her face and not admit she's a big liar.....

It's quite far fetched that this danish guy, who she claims as a total stranger and who she never chatted to nor she ever seen in photos,
suddenly decided to meet her next week and just like that, she made up her mind over this guy? I don't think so and i don't buy it.
She obviously met and have been with this guy already for her to make up her mind and be deadset on this danish guy and get rid of you just like that
after everything you had before and after all the nice things you've done for her....

She's not right for you and if its any consolation, i think its for the best since you wouldn't want to be with the kind of woman that she is.....
Life is too short to waste our time and emotions to undeserving and unworthy people who bother not to reciprocate our genuine affection....
and if i were you, i won't mourn nor feel sad about loosing her, she's not worth your tears and grief......Its her loss, not yours.

Thanks Sophie, you are very good with words Yes yours and my suspiscions were correct as it turns out. One of the first things that I said was that I hope that she is not seeing another guy.