What are you like with text/sms messages?

[South-east boy]

I guess I'll call her tomorrow evening her time. Just say that I've been a bit worried and thought that maybe she hadn't received my messages or something.

With text messages, I normally reply fairly quickly, but depends on how busy I am and it an answer is needed. But messages from girlfriends/partners I always try and reply quickly to show that I care about them & they are on my mind. I also love hearing from them and know that I hate waiting for replies from them myself, so I don't want them to feel the same in waiting! Maybe she's just different with text messages, but I've always felt that if they don't reply or take a long time, they don't care so much about you. I guess it's also that I've not been so lucky with women before and have had a LDR before (she only lived in France though, so not quite the same!) and she just disappeared without ended it or anything after nearly 3 years of knowing each other, so I guess I maybe need a little more assurance that they do really care about me. I'm also on my own a lot at work and at home, so that also makes me feel more frustrated in waiting to hear.

[kenny]

I had a new touch screen phone and i hate texting these days, if you text a lot dont get a touch phone.. grrr

[somebody]

I guess I'll call her tomorrow evening her time. Just say that I've been a bit worried and thought that maybe she hadn't received my messages or something.

With text messages, I normally reply fairly quickly, but depends on how busy I am and it an answer is needed. But messages from girlfriends/partners I always try and reply quickly to show that I care about them & they are on my mind. I also love hearing from them and know that I hate waiting for replies from them myself, so I don't want them to feel the same in waiting! Maybe she's just different with text messages, but I've always felt that if they don't reply or take a long time, they don't care so much about you. I guess it's also that I've not been so lucky with women before and have had a LDR before (she only lived in France though, so not quite the same!) and she just disappeared without ended it or anything after nearly 3 years of knowing each other, so I guess I maybe need a little more assurance that they do really care about me. I'm also on my own a lot at work and at home, so that also makes me feel more frustrated in waiting to hear.

Sounds like a good plan.

I think we forget in our always switched on world where interactions only ten years ago took days are dealt with in mintues if not seconds. We need to some times stand back and think hang on lets slow down a little.

I know im gulity of thinking electronic time when i should be thinking real time let alone Phill time

[somebody]

My problem is that I am always leaving my phone on silent so it doesn't interfere with work.. But then I leave it on silent only to come across 7 or more text messages and a missed call or two

So, I guess I am not the most reliable person with regards to text message replies

Thats me as well

[South-east boy]

Sounds like a good plan.

I think we forget in our always switched on world where interactions only ten years ago took days are dealt with in mintues if not seconds. We need to some times stand back and think hang on lets slow down a little.

I know im gulity of thinking electronic time when i should be thinking real time let alone Phill time

I tried phoning her mobile over an our ago (1.45pm), 30 minutes ago and just now and no answer. I also phoned her land-line after I tried phoning her mobile the first time and one of her sisters or neices answered and said she was out and didn't know when she would be back, so I just said to let her know that I had called. It's a little tricky for them to understand my accent. Can't really call the land-line again as it's now 11pm there and quite late. I've heard nothing from her for 4 days now.

[jam07]

I tried phoning her mobile over an our ago (1.45pm), 30 minutes ago and just now and no answer. I also phoned her landline after I tried phoning her mobile the first time and one of her sisters or neices answered and said she was out and didn't know when she would be back, so I just said to ler her know that I had called. Can't really call the landline again as it's now 11pm there and quite late. I've heard nothing from her for 4 days now.

oh dear! I kind'a understand what your going through. When I had someone before, I went crazy hearing nothing from him since day one. I dont want to go thru that again. ... anyway, I hope she communicates with you soon

[South-east boy]

oh dear! I kind'a understand what your going through. When I had someone before, I went crazy hearing nothing from him since day one. I dont want to go thru that again. ... anyway, I hope she communicates with you soon

Thanks, I sent her a text message about 30 minutes ago saying that I had been worried about her and asking her to just let me know everything is ok.

[Dedworth]

Thanks, I sent her a text message about 30 minutes ago saying that I had been worried about her and asking her to just let me know everything is ok.

I hope you hear soon and there's a decent explanation, early hours of the am there now though

[lizaphil]

For those of you that send and receive text/sms messages, I just wondered how quick you reply to them and does it depend on who they are from or what it's about etc? Also do you get frustrated if they take a while to reply or don't reply and if you do, does it depend on who you are waiting to hear from?

Some people seem to be quite different in this and what seems normal to one person, can be quite different to another which can cause the odd annoyance/frustration!

well depends who sending text if it is important i reply or i call them back...
or if im not busy i send text

[Sim11UK]

Thanks, I sent her a text message about 30 minutes ago saying that I had been worried about her and asking her to just let me know everything is ok.

I hope you hear something soon, it's not a nice situation.
Have you made any plans, to visit her at all? If you haven't, you need to move heaven & earth, to do so.

I know you've mentioned money being tight, but to be honest, it is for most of us...I'm certainly struggling.

Can you sell something?...do a few carboot sales? or something or other that will bring in enough money, to get out there.
We are a long way from the Philippines, it's hard for these girls to take us seriously, if we don't make plans to visit them, they wont wait forever.

My now wife, didn't really believe I was ever going to visit her, until I waved my plane ticket in front of her.

I really want things to work out for you.

[South-east boy]

I hope you hear something soon, it's not a nice situation.
Have you made any plans, to visit her at all? If you haven't, you need to move heaven & earth, to do so.

I know you've mentioned money being tight, but to be honest, it is for most of us...I'm certainly struggling.

Can you sell something?...do a few carboot sales? or something or other that will bring in enough money, to get out there.
We are a long way from the Philippines, it's hard for these girls to take us seriously, if we don't make plans to visit them, they wont wait forever.

My now wife, didn't really believe I was ever going to visit her, until I waved my plane ticket in front of her.

I really want things to work out for you.

Thanks Not made plans yet, but am trying to do things so that I can. Was kind of frustrating with the courier and customs/VAT charges for the parcel that I sent her for Birthday and Christmas as with what I had spent on those and the presents I could have flown to see her (would still have needed somewhere to stay though & spending money though)!

I've spent a lot of spare time over the last few weeks taking photos, writing ads and putting stuff up for sale such as car parts, clothes I've not worn, some new women's clothes (that I had bought for an ex when I was still with her ready for Christmas & her Birthday, then she disappeared!), books, dvd's and sorting out lots of magazines. Some of the magazines I will throw, some I will see if anyone is interested in a few years of certain ones, if not then throw and some I will keep. Not sure about boot sales as once I went, I had all brand new clothes etc at great prices and sold £3 worth, so with the table costing £11, I was £8 down and had wasted several hours & effort! Seems the more rubbish the things you have for sale are, the more interested people are & the more you sell!

At the moment, I'm trying to clear my spare bedroom, so I can knock-out the built-in wardrobe and then decorate it, then I can move into there and then get a lodger into the bedroom that I'm in now. I also have to finish my bathroom and have other decorating and furniture needed. Am looking for another job as well.

[Sim11UK]

Good for you Tim

My first 2 trips were paid for by selling stuff on ebay.

[somebody]

Thanks Not made plans yet, but am trying to do things so that I can. Was kind of frustrating with the courier and customs/VAT charges for the parcel that I sent her for Birthday and Christmas as with what I had spent on those and the presents I could have flown to see her (would still have needed somewhere to stay though & spending money though)!

I've spent a lot of spare time over the last few weeks taking photos, writing ads and putting stuff up for sale such as car parts, clothes I've not worn, some new women's clothes (that I had bought for an ex when I was still with her ready for Christmas & her Birthday, then she disappeared!), books, dvd's and sorting out lots of magazines. Some of the magazines I will throw, some I will see if anyone is interested in a few years of certain ones, if not then throw and some I will keep. Not sure about boot sales as once I went, I had all brand new clothes etc at great prices and sold £3 worth, so with the table costing £11, I was £8 down and had wasted several hours & effort! Seems the more rubbish the things you have for sale are, the more interested people are & the more you sell!

At the moment, I'm trying to clear my spare bedroom, so I can knock-out the built-in wardrobe and then decorate it, then I can move into there and then get a lodger into the bedroom that I'm in now. I also have to finish my bathroom and have other decorating and furniture needed. Am looking for another job as well.

Sounds like you doing the right things, very true that you need to try your hardest to go out to see your mahal. From first meeting the missus in Jan 04 i went out to meet her in june the same year but had made the decision back in April if i recall correctly. Luckily I was able to afford this but it is vital to go as early as possibly you can for both of you.

Once out there you can live very cheaply and people on here will help in any way they can with advice and local knowledge.
Its probably the best way to be as well not living like a king and setting high standards.
Ask any Lady on here and they just want there Mahal with them and a trip is nice wheter its Jolibee or la de da resturant. If it does matter to a lady how much is spent then walk away quickly as you will have problems ahead.

[laurel]

]I tried phoning her mobile over an our ago (1.45pm), 30 minutes ago and just now and no answer. I also phoned her land-line after I tried phoning her mobile the first time and one of her sisters or neices answered and said she was out and didn't know when she would be back, so I just said to let her know that I had called. It's a little tricky for them to understand my accent. Can't really call the land-line again as it's now 11pm there and quite late. I've heard nothing from her for 4 days









Hi SEB, hope uve had some news. One thing ive learnt is to understand that my gf has a 'life'over there. Anything could be happening ,( and if u get over there uwill appreciate that) like u and others ive pulled out all the stops to show my devotion.......sometimes we may expect too much in return, just understanding each other truly , goes a long way in an LDR. Ive been as guilty and i would say almost immature expecting things back 'my way'...............as hard as it may seem give her some space, that can be difficult when all you want is reassurance. Stay positive

[Doc Alan]

It's also worth remembering that there's several public holidays this time of year, more in the Philippines than elsewhere in the world ; yesterday was Rizal day (Jose Rizal was executed on December 30 1896). I know even in my native Scotland it's hard to contact anyone until after 2 January !

[Arthur Little]

Hmm ... maybe it's an "age" thing, but I'm not really into texting - nor using a *mobile phone [although I do *HAVE one!] if I can possibly help it! Sounds daft, I know, but I find texting quite difficult. And when I was in the Phils, I used to get Myrna to send texts (that I dictated to her as if she were my secretary, instead of my wife ) for transmission to my family back home.

As for mobile phones ... well, ok ... they're very handy sometimes (especially when someone is in the middle of nowhere and the car breaks down). But since neither Myrna nor I are drivers, that particular circumstance is unlikely to crop up with us!

On the whole, though, it seems to me that youngsters nowadays, can barely survive for any length of time - WITHOUT giving into the urge to call and/or text their peers at the slightest whim ... even when paying bus fares.

In so saying, I hope my co-forumers will resist the temptation to come down on me like the proverbial

[triple5]

I'm the same Arthur. by the time it takes me to write a text I could have just called, so most the time I just phone the person. I can't always understand textspeak anyway

hapi nu yer every1 !!

[Arthur Little]

Oh ... and while on the subject of "gadgetry", readers will, no doubt, have observed my inveterate use of CAPITALS whenever I want to lay emphasis on a particular word or words.

I ought to explain that this [? irritating] "habit" stems from my basic lack of know-how in creating itallics, coloured fonts and other fancy shapes and sizes. I've long been fairly proficient with a manual typewriter ... but, the comparatively little I've gleaned about computers has, I'm afraid, derived from my being largely self-taught.

[somebody]

Oh ... and while on the subject of "gadgetry", readers will, no doubt, have observed my inveterate use of CAPITALS whenever I want to lay emphasis on a particular word or words.

I ought to explain that this [? irritating] "habit" stems from my basic lack of know-how in creating itallics, coloured fonts and other fancy shapes and sizes. I've long been fairly proficient with a manual typewriter ... but, the comparatively little I've gleaned about computers has, I'm afraid, derived from my being largely self-taught.

You seem to be doing well Sir experiment your be amazed what you can do

Very true regarding Mobile phones often there is a day when I wish i never saw a Mobile again, i spend more time in company with my mobiles than i do my missus and family

[South-east boy]

Well, I look pretty tired today as I went to bed earlier and I woke up about 5.15am, then once I thought about things and started worrying that was it-I spent 3 1/2 hours trying to get back to sleep and thinking all kinds of stuff.

I just phoned her mobile again and still no answer. I then phoned her home phone and spoke to one of her brothers. He said that he doesn't know when she will be back and she's on vacation! Seems very strange that Suzie mentioned nothing about this to me, especially when she said that money was tight and all her money goes to the family etc. Maybe it was a Birthday or Christmas gift or it's staying with some relations, but I would have thought they would know when she would be back etc and that she would have told me before going away. I just hope that she's not on vacation with another guy! Wish I'd asked when she went away and who with, but too late now! Wasn't expecting him saying that, so wasn't ready with what to say.

[Arthur Little]

I'm the same Arthur. by the time it takes me to write a text I could have just called, so most the time I just phone the person. I can't always understand textspeak anyway

Thanks, mate ... it's comforting to know I'm not a lone "voice" in that respect!

hapi nu yer every1 !!

I always worried about resorting to "phonetic-style" texting ... in case people [somehow] formed the impression I couldn't spell properly.

However, to break the "habit of a lifetime" ... seeing as it's the Season of Goodwill, and all that "jazz" ... here goes:

nu yer to u 2 my frend!

[laurel]

Well, I look pretty tired today as I went to bed earlier and I woke up about 5.15am, then once I thought about things and started worrying that was it-I spent 3 1/2 hours trying to get back to sleep and thinking all kinds of stuff.

I just phoned her mobile again and still no answer. I then phoned her home phone and spoke to her brother. He said that he doesn't know when she will be back and she's on vacation! Seems very strange that Suzie mentioned nothing about this to me, especially when she said that money was tight and all her money goes to the family etc. Maybe it was a Birthday or Christmas gift or it's staying with some relations, but I would have thought they would know when she would be back etc and that she would have told me before going away. I just hope that she's not on vacation with another guy! Wish I'd asked when she went away and who with, but too late now! Wasn't expecting him saying that, so wasn't ready with what to say.

hang in there SEB, .......i can see its not easy, thnx for being so open with us.
Sincerely thinking of you take care

[jam07]

Well, I look pretty tired today as I went to bed earlier and I woke up about 5.15am, then once I thought about things and started worrying that was it-I spent 3 1/2 hours trying to get back to sleep and thinking all kinds of stuff.

I just phoned her mobile again and still no answer. I then phoned her home phone and spoke to one of her brothers. He said that he doesn't know when she will be back and she's on vacation! Seems very strange that Suzie mentioned nothing about this to me, especially when she said that money was tight and all her money goes to the family etc. Maybe it was a Birthday or Christmas gift or it's staying with some relations, but I would have thought they would know when she would be back etc and that she would have told me before going away. I just hope that she's not on vacation with another guy! Wish I'd asked when she went away and who with, but too late now! Wasn't expecting him saying that, so wasn't ready with what to say.

This is really sad. I dont feel good about this actually. I know many filipina's here in the forum will agree to me that it is not typical for a filipina not to communicate with her boyfriend for almost a week. Even at our busiest time, we still find time to send a simple text just to remind our bf that we are still here. I hope you dont mind me asking, do you have any tampuhan before this?

[South-east boy]

This is really sad. I dont feel good about this actually. I know many filipina's here in the forum will agree to me that it is not typical for a filipina not to communicate with her boyfriend for almost a week. Even at our busiest time, we still find time to send a simple text just to remind our bf that we are still here. I hope you dont mind me asking, do you have any tampuhan before this?

Well, we have been in contact for 7 months now and I did notice that she seemed to be e-mailing less a few months back, once I didn't hear anything for a week and once it was longer (this was before we were talking on the phone or texting). She has an old PC at home, but has to share it with the whole family and especially 5 of her brothers and sisters who are studying for College and school. There are 3 PC's at the language school where she teaches, but she said that she has less spare time there as she has more students to teach and as there's only 3, it's not easy to get on them. Obviously she didn't text much to my UK phone number as it was expensive. Then her father passed away, so I couldn't really press her to email more, especially as it meant that the family was more short of money and that she would need to do some private teaching in the evenings.

I then got a special phone number to call her, but that ran out and after joining this forum, I searched on here for other ways to phone her. She did say it was best to phone her after 10pm her time, as she was mostly always in then, but of course the later it was, the more tired she would be. I then bought a 2nd hand unlocked network phone and a Smart roaming sim so she could text me cheaply and we could keep in contact when we were unable to phone or email. I sent her a small amount of load while I was waiting for the sim card and phone to come, but that was used up when she texted me to my UK phone number. I then sent her a 500 pesos load a couple of weeks back, so she should have a lot of that left.

The only time when she has seemed a little off was on Christmas day evening when she thanked me for the presents and I replied with sorry that some were a bit boring (just things like tablets and ointments etc). She replied "Your questions aren't boring. Are you being pessimistic? Don't be. I really don't like it." Then she thanked me again for certain things etc. It seemed quite out of character and she's never been like that before. I did send her a message a couple of days before that when I hadn't heard anything for a couple of days & was feeling a bit down and said sorry for all my boring questions, so maybe she got that message late? But after that message we sent more messages like normal and in the last one she seemed fine. She said she was sitting on the mat and reading the local tourist leaflets that i sent her and mentioned certain ones that she liked. Then she said she hoped I was having a good time, be safe, take care, goodnight and smile xoxoxox.

I tried calling her mobile number again and it was engaged for about 20 minutes and now there's no answer again.

[triple5]

Have you made any plans to go and visit her? After 7 months of chatting, and if you haven't mentioned going to see her, she may be getting bored and wondering where the relationship's heading. These are only guesses, of course, but she may have other suitors who are planning to visit her soon so maybe she's cooling things off with you if she thinks you're not serious about her.

[South-east boy]

Have you made any plans to go and visit her? After 7 months of chatting, and if you haven't mentioned going to see her, she may be getting bored and wondering where the relationship's heading. These are only guesses, of course, but she may have other suitors who are planning to visit her soon so maybe she's cooling things off with you if she thinks you're not serious about her.

I have mentioned about going to see her, but can't say when as of course it's a lot of money and I'm a few hundred £'s down a month compared to 2 years ago. I haven't lied and have said from the beginning that I'm not well off and things are not so great over here due to recession etc.

I would have thought what I did for her Birthday and Christmas + for her family would have said what I thought of her. It wasn't just what I spent, but I spent a lot of time thinking what she would like, getting what I knew she would like, also surprises and things for all the family, then 2 whole evenings wrapping it all up. I could have sent it by balikbayan but it would have taken 2 months and arrived a month after Christmas and a month & half after her birthday and as it was the families first Christmas without her Dad, I wanted the parcel to arrive for Christmas, so they had something to look forward to. I also put presents to open later, so she would not have lots on her Birthday and Christmas and then nothing. Also got a t-shirt for her to give for one of her brothers a she had said that she couldn't afford anything and I sent flowers to the family after her Dad passed away at the end of September. She said that she was so happy and no-one had ever sent her & her a family a parcel like that before! She sent this message after her birthday (but before the parcel had arrived which was late because of the customs & VAT people):

"Hi there Tim,

You really touched me with so many things today on my birthday. The package, your call and when I opened my mail today, you sent me two ecards wishing me a happy birthday. You really touched and moved me in a good way with tears of joy. Thank you so much and so sorry it took you a while to call me and it was really getting late your time when you called me, too. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I really don't know how to make you happy, too but I am trying my best to make you smile and happy. Hehehehehe...Goodnight and sweet dreams! Thank you and a happy birthday to me...heheheheheeh...hugs and kisses

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox,
Suzie"

She also sent another similar message to my work email recently and has thanked me for all that I do for her and that it shows how much I care for her.

If she is cooling things off, then it's very sudden as there was so clue before or gradually being quieter etc.

[triple5]

She'll probably be back in touch soon enough, mate, I guess I was just basing my assumptions on my own experiences this time last year. My ex gf went away for a " xmas vacation" but was actually on her honeymoon

I had thought the same as you, that what I had done for her and her family financially/kindness that she would be faithful Every filipina is different, some are patient and understanding some not so. Whereas my ex wanted marriage/kids asap, my current gf seems prepared to take things more slowly.

Has Suzie dropped any hints about settling down or what she hopes for your future?

[jam07]

I have mentioned about going to see her, but can't say when as of course it's a lot of money and I'm a few hundred £'s down a month compared to 2 years ago. I haven't lied and have said from the beginning that I'm not well off and things are not so great over here due to recession etc.

I would have thought what I did for her Birthday and Christmas + for her family would have said what I thought of her. It wasn't just what I spent, but I spent a lot of time thinking what she would like, getting what I knew she would like, also surprises and things for all the family, then 2 whole evenings wrapping it all up. I could have sent it by balikbayan but it would have taken 2 months and arrived a month after Christmas and a month & half after her birthday and as it was the families first Christmas without her Dad, I wanted the parcel to arrive for Christmas, so they had something to look forward to. I also put presents to open later, so she would not have lots on her Birthday and Christmas and then nothing. Also got a t-shirt for her to give for one of her brothers a she had said that she couldn't afford anything. She sent this message after her birthday (but before the parcel had arrived which was late because of the customs & VAT people):

"Hi there Tim,

You really touched me with so many things today on my birthday. The package, your call and when I opened my mail today, you sent me two ecards wishing me a happy birthday. You really touched and moved me in a good way with tears of joy. Thank you so much and so sorry it took you a while to call me and it was really getting late your time when you called me, too. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I really don't know how to make you happy, too but I am trying my best to make you smile and happy. Hehehehehe...Goodnight and sweet dreams! Thank you and a happy birthday to me...heheheheheeh...hugs and kisses

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox,
Suzie"

She also sent another similar message to my work email recently and has thanked me for all that I do for her and that it shows how much I care for her.

If she is cooling things off, then it's very sudden as there was so clue before or gradually being quieter etc.

what? no "i love you's" on her message?! jeez...

[South-east boy]

She'll probably be back in touch soon enough, mate, I guess I was just basing my assumptions on my own experiences this time last year. My ex gf went away for a " xmas vacation" but was actually on her honeymoon

I had thought the same as you, that what I had done for her and her family financially/kindness that she would be faithful Every filipina is different, some are patient and understanding some not so. Whereas my ex wanted marriage/kids asap, my current gf seems prepared to take things more slowly.

Has Suzie dropped any hints about settling down or what she hopes for your future?

Blimey! That must have been a pretty nasty shock! Had you met her? How long before the wedding had she last been in contact with you? How did you meet your current lady and how long after you started contact did you meet?

Well, I know she would like to get get married, but doesn't seem to be in any hurry and hasn't mentioned children or anything yet. She said about coming to work here, but when I looked into it, it wouldn't be possible as as you know they have cracked right down on immigration. It doesn't help how I feel, that someone who I was seeing before (in UK) was also seeing an ex at the same time as me for a while. Maybe I am too trusting, but I don't think it's good to start out not trusting them. I'm certainly going to be asking some serious questions about what she wants, thinks about me and what the future could hold.

As I've mentioned before with what I spent on the presents, courier and customs & VAT, I could have flown to see her for cheaper. The courier costed more than the original cost, then the customs and VAT doubled that and when I had to add up the value of the presents for the courier shipping list I was quite surprised to find what I had spent (about £250+, but she had around £300 worth because of special offers I had got etc), but I guess I hadn't realised as I bought things now & again over a few months. Make-up soon adds up!

[triple5]

Blimey! That must have been a pretty nasty shock!

Actually, I only found that out recently on my last trip to Phils. And by then nothing surprised me about her anymore as I'd already discovered about other guys beforehand.

Had you met her? How long before the wedding had she last been in contact with you?

I spent 2 weeks with her after chatting for 9 months. She married about 2 months after I came back home. Weird thing was she didn't tell me, and still tried to keep me sweet Not really great wife material. I had a lucky escape methinks.

How did you meet your current lady and how long after you started contact did you meet?

After my trip to Phils I stayed in contact with the exs brother-in-law. We added each other on friendster and through him I met his beautiful cousin We chatted for about 6 months before I went out there. I probably would have gone sooner, but she didn't graduate till october so I held off until she had some free time.

As I've mentioned before with what I spent on the presents, courier and customs & VAT, I could have flown to see her for cheaper. The courier costed more than the original cost, then the customs and VAT doubled that and when I had to add up the value of the presents for the courier shipping list I was quite surprised to find what I had spent (about £250+, but she had around £300 worth because of special offers I had got etc), but I guess I hadn't realised as I bought things now & again over a few months. Make-up soon adds up!

Thats a lot to fork out for somebody you've never met, and like you say money can be tight here sometimes. If I were you I wouldn't send anything again and put the money towards a trip out there.

How did you meet Suzie to begin with? And do you think it's possible she chats with other guys? Even though you've done the right thing by being honest about your financial situation and saying you don't know when you will be able to visit, she may be thinking she'll be waiting for you for nothing.