What are you like with text/sms messages?

[Sim11UK]

Mine's 7 pages. the same issue as seb - communication. You posted some there Sim. You told me that the guy seems to be a '****bag' to you. lol! well, I guess he kind'a is

Happy new year to you and your wife!

Yes, I remember your troubles too & I remember calling him a '****bag'.
I know I was very grateful for all the advice given here.
Hope things are a lot better for you now jam.

Happy New Year, have a great one.

[Arthur Little]

Tim, I can easily relate to what you're going through, my friend. Having been married for the first time at a relatively young age, I found myself widowed when I was 47. Then, for the next sixteen years, I seemed to "stumble" blindly on from one relationship to the next ... all with British women, I hasten to add ... before "meeting" Myrna online in 2007 and, finally, "striking" [very] lucky!

I firmly believe that she and I were truly destined for one another ... and each of my previous liaisons [apart from my earlier (successful) marriage - which lasted for 24 years] were all part of a "trial period" I'd to undergo prior to finding true happiness once again.

So, hopefully, things will ultimately work out well for YOU and Suzie (without the long waiting period I had to endure, of course!). But first, I think you need to "test the waters" by indicating your clear intentions of visiting her and guaging her reactions to this proposal in order to try and ascertain her REAL feelings towards you.

[South-east boy]

Thanks everyone. I'm not sure what to do now. It's New Years day and I've still had no Happy new year wishes etc. Do I just leave it, or phone her mobile again and if no answer, then phone her home number -if I do that, then do I ask any of these? - Where is she staying?, who is she staying with? when did she go? does she definitely have her mobile phone with her? If I do leave it, she will have seen my missed calls & text messages and her brother & sister will have probably said that I called, and if there has been something going on & she hasn't been honest, then she would have plenty of time to make a story up. She has lost some of my trust and I really don't know how trusting to be now.

[somebody]

So, hopefully, things will ultimately work out well for YOU and Suzie (without the long waiting period I had to endure, of course!). But first, I think you need to "test the waters" by indicating your clear intentions of visiting her and guaging her reactions to this proposal in order to try and ascertain her REAL feelings towards you.

Spot on as normally is Mr Little.

As many have experienced on here there maybe a reason why she has "dissapeared for a short while" it happened to sim and several others on here. Many Phill ladies im sure cant see hoe it could work especially if the Brit man does not visit.

Propose to visit when you do speak and see what occurs as Mr Little says

[South-east boy]

Spot on as normally is Mr Little.

As many have experienced on here there maybe a reason why she has "dissapeared for a short while" it happened to sim and several others on here. Many Phill ladies im sure cant see hoe it could work especially if the Brit man does not visit.

Propose to visit when you do speak and see what occurs as Mr Little says

I did say in my original ad that I was really looking for someone in UK and it was she who contacted me. If she can't think how it could work, then she could ask and press me. I did say after I sent the parcel, that I was annoyed that with the extra courier costs, customs & VAT as with what I spent I could have flown to see her for cheaper. I wish I could say when and book a flight etc, but I can't. As I've mentioned before in other threads, this last year has been very hard as I've had the highest bills and least amount of money coming in - I'm stuck on a high interest rate mortgage which is 50% more than the last, and my wages are a few hundred a month down due to no increase, no overtime a 1/4 of my bonuses from previous years and rising gas, electricity and petrol etc costs. I also had a £1040 car bill + other ones throughout the year!

[Sim11UK]

I'd hang in there, a bit longer if I was you....Wait until the new year has calmed down. I think you said she had a job? So presumably, she will have to come back for that, if she has gone away? Have you tried phoning again?

[Sim11UK]

...But you really have to consider whether you can afford it?
Because if you want to persue this & get married, it's going to be at least 2 trips out there?...& that is just for starters.

I've always wondered where the money was coming from, but somehow I've always managed it.

[Doc Alan]

[QUOTE=Sim11UK;198908]...But you really have to consider whether you can afford it?
Because if you want to persue this & get married, it's going to be at least 2 trips out there?...& that is just for starters.

That's a sobering thought for the New Year !
I've followed this thread from the start, and it's obviously not finished. However, it may become clear next week when the New Year is truly under way. Keep yourself occupied here until then, if at all possible, by seeing friends / relatives, even if you can't discuss these matters with them, you will doubtless find they have got their own problems which puts things in perspective.
I had similar problems (communication, trust, money) with a British girl - so it's definitely not just Thais or Filipinas - and no Forum to offer me advice.
You've been honest with your thoughts and finances, and there's advice elsewhere on the Forum about the cost of such distance relationships. Of course, I understand "cost" to be more than finance but the actual effort or loss necessary to achieve something.

[somebody]

...But you really have to consider whether you can afford it?
Because if you want to persue this & get married, it's going to be at least 2 trips out there?...& that is just for starters.

I've always wondered where the money was coming from, but somehow I've always managed it.

Very true and the possibilty if the wife comes over she may not earn a great deal unless very lucky or highly skilled. My Wife started in a low paid job and still not earning a great deal although still 6 times more than even her fellow uni and school friends in blue chip jobs in Manila.

[Arthur Little]

Tim, I can easily relate to what you're going through, my friend. Having been married for the first time at a relatively young age, I found myself widowed when I was 47. Then, for the next sixteen years, I seemed to "stumble" blindly on from one relationship to the next ... all with British women, I hasten to add ... before "meeting" Myrna online in 2007 and, finally, "striking" [very] lucky!

I firmly believe that she and I were truly destined for one another ... and each of my previous liaisons [apart from my earlier (successful) marriage - which lasted for 24 years] were all part of a "trial period" I'd to undergo prior
to finding true happiness once again.

I've *quoted the main body of an earlier post of mine in relation to your situation ... its object being to demonstrate how, in a metapohrical sense, I had to encounter many "frogs" on the pathway to meeting my "princess".

In so *doing, I have purposely left out my last paragraph ... expressing the hope that things would [ultimately] work out well between you and Suzie ... because, the longer she maintains her "wall of silence - sadly, the less likely it seems you are, to hear from her again. This "judgement" is based on my having faced a similar situation (albeit involving an Englishwoman ) just over 4 years ago.

To enlarge:

About a couple of weeks before setting off on a pre-planned holiday to China, I met the lady in question at a dance. By a curious coincidence, she shared the same christian name as my late first wife, i.e., Iris. We dated twice ... and the "liaison" somehow felt "just right"! I even made a point of keeping in touch by mobile phone most days while I was away ... a bloody expensive business, it has to be said ... with HER using lovey-dovey sweet talk each time she rang off. So much so that, despite an otherwise enjoyable trip encapsulating such breathtaking sights as 'The Great Wall', the Terracotta Army site and Shanghai By Night - all in congenial company - I found myself yearning to be back home ... simply for the sake of seeing her again!

On my return to the UK, I repeatedly tried contacting her from Heathrow. The first time, the phone was answered by a man ... whom I understood to be her son-in-law, as she lived with her married daughter and family. According to him, she was taking a bath ... so I left a message to tell Iris I'd called. An hour later, I tried again ... no response! On the 3rd occasion, I managed to speak to her daughter ... who informed me her mother had been feeling very tired and had gone to bed. Bah! It just seemed to be one excuse after another ... !!

I finally managed to "pin the woman down" from home next day ... after an arduous, exhausting, sleep-deprived journey north, courtesy of National Express Coaches. We agreed to meet a week later and (guess what?) she failed to turn-up! She later called me to say, "sorry, but ... " (words to the effect that I was a really nice man; however, regettably, she felt she wasn't quite ready for another relationship "so soon" after her dear husband's passing, etc., etc., etc., ). Turned out the guy had been dead for over two years!

And so, my friend, life goes on ... ! But, like I said ... "frogs & princesses". Keep your pecker up ... there's another day coming ...