What are you like with text/sms messages?

[South-east boy]

I was thinking that maybe she could have forgotten to take the phone charger with her on vacation and the battery ran out, but thinking about it, it can't be that as her phone would not ring if the battery was dead or the phone switched off. So she has either left her phone behind at home or if she has the phone with her, then she has been ignoring my calls and messages. If her phone was in a no signal area I guess when I ring I would not hear it ringing and it would sound like it's switched off?

[jam07]

I was thinking that maybe she could have forgotten to take the phone charger with her on vacation and the battery ran out, but thinking about it, it can't be that as her phone would not ring if the battery was dead or the phone switched off. So she has either left her phone behind at home or if she has the phone with her, then she has been ignoring my calls and messages. If her phone was in a no signal area I guess when I ring I would not hear it ringing and it would sound like it's switched off?

I fear that she is ignoring your call or messages. I'm sorry. Its just that I dont see any excuse not to take your call or reply to your messages. If she has been ill or hospitalized, her family will tell you the moment you call. If she at last manages or decided to talk to you, she has to have a good and valid excuse. Because leaving someone in the dark is unacceptable.

[eagles]

hi... anxiety destroys our usual happy day.. a lady who is committed to her love one will find a way to keep in touch and will give a logical reason why she cant be at appointed time. A man do so to a lady when he cant be around at appointed time.. time to think.. its a waste of time and money to beat around ...

[jam07]

hi... anxiety destroys our usual happy day.. a lady who is committed to her love one will find a way to keep in touch and will give a logical reason why she cant be at appointed time. A man do so to a lady when he cant be around at appointed time.. time to think.. its a waste of time and money to beat around ...

[South-east boy]

I phone her mobile no. about an hour ago and no answer and just called her home no. and no answer. Another reason why I was quite trusting of her is because she is quite religious, often goes to church and her father was a faith healer. Saying that though I have been lied to by a Catholic before.

[liane]

Like what Jam has mentioned, she's probably ignoring your calls and messages. I think she wanted out with the relationship and her way of telling it is just so wrong. It's been a week and yet she haven't get in touch with you and no one in the family knows where she is You have been constantly talking and for sure her family knows who you are in her life. This is just too sad to hear and I hope she has a valid reasons when she's ready to talk to you.
I think you're a nice man and you deserve someone better.

[South-east boy]

If she does want out of it, as I mentioned before, she hasn't really given any sign of it. We spoke on Christmas morning (her time-my time until 3.30am!) for a couple of hours on yahoo, webcam and phone and I saw & waved to some of her family. If she wanted out, wouldn't you just make an excuse so you could go? Also the time we chatted on webcam before that, she said that she couldn't stop looking at me as I looked so good-why bother to say that if you want to end it?

Yes, they will know about me as I sent flowers to her family when her father passed away, I have spoken to some when I have called her home phone and of course they will have received all the Christmas things for the family from me recently including 2 presents for her Mum. She also said that they had taken photos of them opening the Christmas things that they would send to me. I was hoping to speak to her after Christmas to find out what they thought of certain presents, but of course, I have not had the chance. If she does want out, maybe it's because I couldn't help her come over here or she was waiting until she received her Birthday and Christmas presents?

I would have thought that if you feel you can't tell them you want to end it as you don't want to hurt them by ending it suddenly, then with a LDR, surely the easiest way would be to gradually get quieter, take longer to reply with shorter messages and if the other person then asks if something is up or are they not interested anymore than to say that they would prefer to end it.

But then as I have briefly mentioned before I have had a LDR before with a girl from France which was before the days of everyone being able to email and having mobile phones. After nearly 2 years together she wrote less, but then we still spoke on the phone a lot, so that didn't matter so much. But then she got an answer phone and later she was harder to get hold of and we didn't get to speak as much. I seemed to get the impression that she wasn't so interested anymore and asked her that. She said it was because it was hard time for her with her looking for another job and somewhere else to live. Then in the summer she was meant to be coming over to stay for a week or so which I was really looking forward to as we hadn't seen each other for a while as she was doing temp teaching, so always had to be available. I got annoyed as it was nearly time for the dates when she was meant to come over and I had to let work know if I was going to be on holiday or not. She said sorry, that she would have to postpone it as she was going to stay with some friends in a different area and look for jobs + somewhere else to live and that she would let me know soon when she had news. That was the last I ever heard from her. There was no answer when I rang her phone and then it was cancelled, I never had any replies to my letters to her address or her parents address and when I called her parents, they couldn't speak English and I could only just about ask something in French, but didn't understand their reply! Why when I asked if she wanted to end it, she said no, then ended it by just disappearing I don't know?!

Suzie knows about this story as we have talked about past relationships before. I also said in my dating site profile that I have had a relationship with a Filipina before which started well, then I ended up hurt when they said that they didn't want a relationship anymore.

I have never done anything bad or wrong to her and have been as caring & loving as I can, just as I have been with any previous girl before. I have never lied, cheated, been uncaring or whatever, and have done all I can to help them with any problem so I have nothing to feel guilty about, but for some reason how I am to them does not seem to be appreciated and I don't know why?

[laurel]

im probably clutching at straws here , but u said u spoke with a family member and that she had gone on holiday??...could there be a language barrier, ie she may have gone somewhere else but they dont know how to express it?? and if she has gone somewhere she may be out of contact, I know its a week , and id be rippin my hair out, but ive jumped to conclusions before and been left with egg on my face. Would she give her fone to someone else to look after while she is away?.......i know probably not.

U spoke xmas day all was well and now nothing... somethings not right obviously, shes given no indication that all was not well...can u get any clue if she may have done this in a relationship before??.............Really hope u get an answer soon, i really feel for you

[South-east boy]

im probably clutching at straws here , but u said u spoke with a family member and that she had gone on holiday??...could there be a language barrier, ie she may have gone somewhere else but they dont know how to express it?? and if she has gone somewhere she may be out of contact, I know its a week , and id be rippin my hair out, but ive jumped to conclusions before and been left with egg on my face. Would she give her fone to someone else to look after while she is away?.......i know probably not.

U spoke xmas day all was well and now nothing... somethings not right obviously, shes given no indication that all was not well...can u get any clue if she may have done this in a relationship before??.............Really hope u get an answer soon, i really feel for you

Like you said, I've worried about thing's before and thought the worst, then Ive found out that I needn't have worried at all. I guess it's hard at the moment as it's hard to think of explanations and why she never mentioned going away.

[South-east boy]

Now virtually 9 days. Tried her mobile again and it rings with no answer. I would think that she would be back to work by now, but would have left by 7pm. Would a mobile that is switched on but not used at all last near to 8 days without the battery dying? There have been times a while ago when I hadn't heard from her for betweeen 1-2 weeks, but that was longer ago and before we were speaking on the phone & I had got the other phone with smart sim so she could text me cheaply and be easier for her to keep in touch when she couldn't get to a pc or be available on a phone.

[jam07]

Now virtually 9 days. Tried her mobile again and it rings with no answer. I would think that she would be back to work by now, but would have left by 7pm. Would a mobile that is switched on but not used at all last near to 8 days without the battery dying? There have been times a while ago when I hadn't heard from her for betweeen 1-2 weeks, but that was longer ago and before we were speaking on the phone & I had got the other phone with smart sim so she could text me cheaply and be easier for her to keep in touch when she couldn't get to a pc or be available on a phone.

I dont feel good about this... :(

[triple5]

Do you have any other friends in phils? It would be interesting to see if she answers the phone if it was a local number showing up. then at least you'd know shes purposefully ignoring you f she answers.

tbh, 9 days away without saying anything is out of order. Theres obviously not some kind of emergency as her family would have said so. If it were me I'd start thinking about moving on. Do you really want a relationship with somebody that inconsiderate?

[South-east boy]

Do you have any other friends in phils? It would be interesting to see if she answers the phone if it was a local number showing up. then at least you'd know shes purposefully ignoring you f she answers.

tbh, 9 days away without saying anything is out of order. Theres obviously not some kind of emergency as her family would have said so. If it were me I'd start thinking about moving on. Do you really want a relationship with somebody that inconsiderate?

Not that live over there. Looking back over some previous messages, she does have a sister in Manila and also in Taiwan, so it's possible that she could be staying with either, though of course she hasn't let me know.

[laurel]

Been offline for a bit and was hopeing id come back and see some positive news here, take care

[South-east boy]

I was looking forward to see the email from her at work today as it was my first day back to work. This was the email that she sent on Christmas eve to my work email by mistake instead of my home email. Got to work to find my email was down and it didn't get sorted out until 3.30pm. Anyway, she was just replying to my funny email pics and saying about what she was going to do on Christmas day and going with her neices to the mall so they could spend the money that her sister-in-law (neices mum) had sent to them, so nothing unusual in the message.

I phoned her mobile and this time it said it was unattended or in a low signal area-I guess this could also mean that the battery was dead or it was switched off. I didn't phone her home phone as I thought it was a bit late by then, but will try it tomorrow if I still haven't heard anything.

[LEAHnew]

I'm sorry to hear your newsit doesn't sound right and I agree to eagle.
She must have an explanation, I hope this is only tampo(sulking), feel free to pm me maybe I can help.

[South-east boy]

I'm sorry to hear your newsit doesn't sound right and I agree to eagle.
She must have an explanation, I hope this is only tampo(sulking), feel free to pm me maybe I can help.

I can only think maybe it's a family emergency or surprise holiday that her family had arranged. Wouldn't think it would be a course or something to do with the school where she teaches or church as it wouldn't be on new years eve/new years day. Even if she did leave her phone at home, lose it, or had it stolen, I would have thought in 11 days that she could have sent an email, even if it was from an internet cafe. Failing that, that she could have left a message with her family for me in case I ring/ring again. I can't think that she would have had no contact with her family during all that time.

She has no reason to be sulking with me and it should be the opposite! In fact if anyone is sulking it should be me (and that's before this sudden disappearance as well).

Do you think she should have sent me something for Christmas? As I mentioned earlier, I'm not sure if it's normal for Filipinas to not send a Christmas card or present (however small) to their BF/BF abroad or not?

[Doc Alan]

Do you think she should have sent me something for Christmas? As I mentioned earlier, I'm not sure if it's normal for Filipinas to not send a Christmas card or present to their BF/BF abroad or not?

Yes, she should have sent you something. Of course it's normal to send a Christmas card but the postal service is slow and unreliable. A present might not be affordable. Text messages are relatively cheap and reliable. It's the lack of direct communication which bothers me and others here. I can understand how you feel. You've thrown your money, and now your emotions into a "black hole",
and you may just have to get over it, move on. But only you can decide when, and if, you want to move on.

[triple5]

Do you think she should have sent me something for Christmas? As I mentioned earlier, I'm not sure if it's normal for Filipinas to not send a Christmas card or present (however small) to their BF/BF abroad or not?

I wouldn't worry too much about that. I didnt get anything either, but then again neither did I send anything Do/did you think of yourself as her boyfriend? And is that how she viewed the relationship gf/bf? I think i may have touched on this in an earlier post, that a lot of filipinas are looking for a strong commitment asap. I hope I'm wrong mate, but I get the feeling there might be somebody else and she doesn't know how to tell you.

[bornatbirth]

I wouldn't worry too much about that. I didnt get anything either, but then again neither did I send anything Do/did you think of yourself as her boyfriend? And is that how she viewed the relationship gf/bf? I think i may have touched on this in an earlier post, that a lot of filipinas are looking for a strong commitment asap. I hope I'm wrong mate, but I get the feeling there might be somebody else and she doesn't know how to tell you.

its best to get your foot in the door as early as possible,as keeping them waiting may mean they will get a better offer eslewhere and your wondering what did i do wrong

but also it depends how the lady is brought up and her her level of education ie etiquette?

[South-east boy]

I wouldn't worry too much about that. I didnt get anything either, but then again neither did I send anything Do/did you think of yourself as her boyfriend? And is that how she viewed the relationship gf/bf? I think i may have touched on this in an earlier post, that a lot of filipinas are looking for a strong commitment asap. I hope I'm wrong mate, but I get the feeling there might be somebody else and she doesn't know how to tell you.

Well, maybe not exactly boyfriend, I don't know how she feels about me exactly, but she knows and has said that I care a lot about her + have done a lot for her which she is so grateful for. Can't include this email that she sent me as it's on my work email. I don't know what else I can can do to show my commitment as I have done all I can apart from going to see her which I am unable to do. I should have only sent something very small, then I would have had the money for a flight, but I had no idea a to the courier cost and then the customs/VAT etc and I wanted to send some things for her & the email as they haven't had things very easy over the last few months.

[South-east boy]

It really doesn't look good now. At just before 11am she opened one of my e-cards, but not sure if it was the Christmas or New year one. She didn't send one back reply or send an email. As 11am here is 7pm there, I doubt that it was at work, so was either at home or at a cyber cafe I guess. I tried her mobile and it said that it was unattended or was out of coverage. I tried her home no. a bit later and a sister who had problems understanding me said that she wasn't back. Tried her mobile later and a guy answered with a dog barking and thought I might have wrong no. or the phone had been left somewhere.

Phoned again later and a woman answered in English, but couldn't seem to hear me at all, then put the phone down. When I tried her home no. after it was engaged for a while. Tried her mobile later and there was no answer. Then she popped up on yahoo and said something I think it was in the status box and I was just going to write it down before opening a chat box, before she went onto mobile and the message went. I said 'jeg', then I'm not sure what. I phoned her home no. again and her sister said that she was asleep, which I'm not sure if I believe as it was only 10pm, she never normally goes to bed that early and it was so soon after she had just been on yahoo so briefly.



Feel like going off to beachey head, but I wouldn't be able to get there because of the snow!

Sorry, to have gone on so much and to have bored everybody that has read this. Looks like I'm back to being on my own again as per usual. Can't really talk to many people about this either, as they won't understand or think I've been stupid. Just don't know what I do wrong?

[TomThumb]

Sorry to hear that South-east boy. I think you're right. Having gone to bed is a pants excuse if she hasn't contacted you for 9 days. It's pretty clear to me that she's deliberately avoiding you. I don't know why some people think that suddenly cutting off contact is an acceptable way to behave. It's particularly odd from a Christian, who presumably believes that she will be called to answer for her actions.
I'm sure it's not much consolation, but with somebody like this, the sooner you find out about their true character, the better for you. Can I ask please if before this she seemed to be a caring person?
Good luck to you and best wishes,
Tom.

[South-east boy]

Sorry to hear that South-east boy. I think you're right. Having gone to bed is a pants excuse if she hasn't contacted you for 9 days. It's pretty clear to me that she's deliberately avoiding you. I don't know why some people think that suddenly cutting off contact is an acceptable way to behave. It's particularly odd from a Christian, who presumably believes that she will be called to answer for her actions.
I'm sure it's not much consolation, but with somebody like this, the sooner you find out about their true character, the better for you. Can I ask please if before this she seemed to be a caring person?
Good luck to you and best wishes,
Tom.

It's actually 11 days now and before I called once and she had gone to bed, one of her sisters said do you want me to wake her? I'm surprised that she has acted this way, as like I mentioned before I had said that a previous GF that I was in a LDR with had done this years ago.

As I said, she says that she is religious, goes to church at least twice a week and she only recently said that I should renew my faith (my family are religious, but I haven't gone to church very often for quite a while-partly because of not having much luck in meeting someone with trying for so long and being single feeling the odd one out etc).

Yes, she has seemed pretty caring before and said that once, that she would prefer to be ill/in pain rather than me. She had also said that she wasn't seeing anyone else. I just don't understand if she wanted out/was in contact with someone else, why the sudden disappearance and to have carried on the contact for so long? For someone that is supposedly so religious, she doesn't seem to have acted in a very Christian way and seems to make a mockery of how Christians are meant to be behave or how God would want them to behave. Maybe more Christians are like this than we think? I think I have acted in a more Christian way than she has!

Over Christmas I showed my parents a lot of photos of her, her family and where she lived etc, now I just feel stupid, used and lonely.

[Sophie]

So sorry to hear about your story south east boy, it was pretty clear that this girl is deliberately avoiding you and disregarding your calls and messages.......
She doesn't even have the decency to tell you straight if she wants out of the relationship or found someone else.....
It may hurt you but atleast you know the reason, because there's nothing worst than not knowing at all......
She just left you in the dark confused, guessing and wondering what went wrong or what have you done for her to ignore you and simply vanish....
You seem like a very nice and genuine guy, you deserve better and i hope you'll find the right girl

[Doc Alan]

It really doesn't look good now.




Feel like going off to beachey head, but I wouldn't be able to get there because of the snow!

Sorry, to have gone on so much and to have bored everybody that has read this. Looks like I'm back to being on my own again as per usual. Can't really talk to many people about this either, as they won't understand or think I've been stupid. Just don't know what I do wrong?

Don't even think (or joke) about Beachy Head ! You have not bored us. It's a case of recognising when a relationship's wrong, and re-gaining your self respect. I agree with Sophie's latest message.

[South-east boy]

So sorry to hear about your story south east boy, it was pretty clear that this girl is deliberately avoiding you and disregarding your calls and messages.......
She doesn't even have the decency to tell you straight if she wants out of the relationship or found someone else.....
It may hurt you but atleast you know the reason, because there's nothing worst than not knowing at all......
She just left you in the dark confused, guessing and wondering what went wrong or what have you done for her to ignore you and simply vanish....
You seem like a very nice and genuine guy, you deserve better and i hope you'll find the right girl

Thank you for your kind words Sophie. It's situations that have happened with me & similar that make people think this is how most Filipinas are -I know friends that know about my situations will now think this. I have been warned by a Chinese girl before too. If it wasn't for getting to know some of you lovely ladies on here a little, I guess I would be wondering if this is how a lot of Filipinas treat guys as well. It's sad that a few people that don't care about hurting others give others a bad name.

[bornatbirth]

well people can only talk about what they know,my family think my wife and her family are great...i guess others come across bad experiences and think theyre all the same...shame really but you cant blame them?

[Juana]

As I said, she says that she is religious, goes to church at least twice a week and she only recently said that I should renew my faith (my family are religious, but I haven't gone to church very often for quite a while-partly because of not having much luck in meeting someone with trying for so long and being single feeling the odd one out etc).

Yes, she has seemed pretty caring before and said that once, that she would prefer to be ill/in pain rather than me. She had also said that she wasn't seeing anyone else. I just don't understand if she wanted out/was in contact with someone else, why the sudden disappearance and to have carried on the contact for so long? For someone that is supposedly so religious, she doesn't seem to have acted in a very Christian way and seems to make a mockery of how Christians are meant to be behave or how God would want them to behave. Maybe more Christians are like this than we think? I think I have acted in a more Christian way than she has!

Is she Roman Catholic? I ask this because you said that she goes to church twice a week, I don't know if there are other religious sects but I know for one that members of Iglesia ni Cristo do go to church twice a wk and they don't celebrate Christmas (that's probably why you didn't get a card).

With regards to what u said about Christians and being religious etc, I don't think I agree. Im not a religious person and for now my spiritual health is not that good but to err is only human and regardless of what a person's religion is, we are all susceptible to wrong doings. People go to church to seek enlightenment and to help them be a better person.

Can I ask how old she is? She may just be acting immaturely. But then again over a week is too long to haven't said anything. She may just be finding the courage to tell you what it is that's bothering her.

[South-east boy]

Is she Roman Catholic? I ask this because you said that she goes to church twice a week, I don't know if there are other religious sects but I know for one that members of Iglesia ni Cristo do go to church twice a wk and they don't celebrate Christmas (that's probably why you didn't get a card).

With regards to what u said about Christians and being religious etc, I don't think I agree. Im not a religious person and for now my spiritual health is not that good but to err is only human and regardless of what a person's religion is, we are all susceptible to wrong doings. People go to church to seek enlightenment and to help them be a better person.

Can I ask how old she is? She may just be acting immaturely. But then again over a week is too long to haven't said anything. She may just be finding the courage to tell you what it is that's bothering her.

She is 25. Yes, she is Roman Catholic and does celebrate Christmas. I know that Christian people are not perfect and will makes mistake from time to time, but if you call yourself a Christian, you should have a good heart, be a good a person as you can and live life a Christian way etc. For someone to say that they are a strong Christian, then to hurt (maybe lie, deceive and scam/try to get gifts/money, who knows?) a good person that has done all that they can for your and your family (and that you know how they have been hurt before), goes against all Christian teaching and I don't know how someone that can do that, can call themselves a strong Christian. I find it quite hypocritical really.