Folkstone or bust!!
THE PATRIOT MICRO CHIP is intended to be implanted in terrorists.
The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead.
When properly installed, it will allow the one implanted, to speak to God
It comes in various sizes:
The exact size of the implant
will be selected by a well-trained and highly skilled technician.
The implant may or may not be painless. Side effects, like headaches and
nausea, are temporary.
Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.
Please enjoy the security we provide for you.
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Should UK Adopt The Euro?
A cross-section survey of 1000 people in the UK, made up of Afghans, Pakistanis, Indians, Poles, Iraqis, Somalis, Africans, Albanians, Bosnians, Turks, Geordies, Brummies, Glaswegians, Pikeys and Liverpudlians were asked if they thought Britain should change its currency to Euro.
99% said no, they were quite happy with the Giro.
I think its a bit early for the HAITI jokes.
We should at least wait until the dust settles.
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a baby fifty years ago.'
'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, love,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Granddad. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your porridge
They'll never get into the UK like that, too many health & safety violationsOriginally Posted by fred
Folkstone or bust!!
Hmm ... coincidence or WHAT?! Forgive me for being just a tad... cynical ...?
You started them Fred. That joke's "doing the rounds" in the bars of my hometown, where there are a good many "after shocks"
Arthur you're correct (as usual!). It's obvious he's a scammer.Hmm ... coincidence or WHAT?! Forgive me for being just a tadI'm sorry for the "poor" girl
Q. What have a dwarf and midget got in common?
A. Very little!
There are only 10 types of people in the world —
those who understand binary, and those who don't.
That was the WAG and rat Ashley at the back
An old lady and an old man are sitting in their retirement home.
The man turns to the woman and says,"I bet you can't tell how old I am."
"Okay," she says,
She then unzips his fly, feels around for a while and finally says, "You're 83."
"That's amazing!" the man exclaims. "How did you know that?" he asks.
"You told me yesterday." She replies.
ohhh Fred, you might dont know what is the front page on the newspaper in the UK, foot balllers being rat
Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,
slim,
tall,
38D breast,
24" waist and
34" hips.
When she walks into a room, people say, "My God!"
A guy goes round his girlfriends parents house for the first time for a meal.
All the food is placed on the table and they are starting to serve.
The guy asks, "Can I have another potato please?"
The Mother replies, "Of course, no need to be polite."
The guy says, "Alright then, give me a potato you silly bitch."
Get the popcorn out and watch this..
"The Americans have asked if they can use the queen on their new $25 note..
We said o.k. as long as we can put their president back on our jam jars".
a man walks up to tonto and asks if he can borrow $5
tonto replies..you will have to see the loan arranger
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip
upstairs and get me slippers?"
"No bother," Murphy says, and he runs upstairs and there
are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on
their beds. "Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to
s h a g ya both." "**** off you liar!".
"I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs,
"Both of them, Paddy?" "Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"
The car in front is a Toyota. Just hope the one behind isn't.
What do you get when you turn 10 blondes upside down?
At least 7 brunettes.
How do you get an eighty year old granny to shout "c*nt" ?
Get another one to shout "bingo".
tnx fred
''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''
Delroy : Why do my eyes always sting when I make love to a white woman.?
Erasmus : Must be the pepper spray.
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