If you wish your child to live with his Mother, or children, etc, then don’t fight the petition for residency, in this way, it also keeps your costs down, if you intend to fight for residency, due to the prejudicial nature of the courts, and judges generally, it is unlikely that a man will be given residency although there are lots of cases where the reverse is true, its just that you might need deep pockets to fight it, but if you have then go ahead, its your money.
Once residency is established, and you consent to it, you are effectively signing away your right to live in the matrimonial home, you will probably be given about 30 days to find somewhere else to live, the country is full of men living in 1 room houses across the length and breadth of UK, its not nice for Fathers, however, the resident parent will almost certainly be given right to live in the matrimonial home, and child support will be no doubt granted temporarily, this is under government rules 15 per cent of your net income, that is if you are self employed, 15 per cent of your net profit.
So if you are earning say £20,000 per year, your net income is around £463.00 per week, giving a contribution to your first child of around £66.00 per week, if you have 2 children its 20 per cent of your net income, if its 3, 25 per cent etc, there is a full list of contributions provided by the Child Support Agency.
So once having received your initial court bundle, you will have taken legal advice, the next thing that will happen, is that you will of course try and apply for legal aid to assist you with expenses in your case to defend or get the best deal for yourself.
Application to restrain disposal of Assets.
This is what will be dealt with first, the petitioner will no doubt be your wife, she will be advised to stop you from spending any money, as in a marriage all financial matters are considered joint, and therefore what you thought was yours is not, and even if you have been working for years and put all of your spare income into your house, while she has been browsing the sales, and in your mind sitting around at home, forget it, it is hers as well, because the law says so, before a divorce can be granted, a document called a heads of agreement must be reached, and for a divorce to be finalized to decree absolute a consent order needs to be signed by both parties.
If you cannot agree financial terms with your ex wife to be, you will not get a divorce, however don’t worry, if there is not much to go round she will be well advised to reach an agreement, as costs can quickly mount up in these procedures, so much so, that nothing can be left for the parties, if they squabble in court too much.
Affidavits in support of Legal Separation and divorce petitions.
Affidavits are as I have already said, statements of truth according ones own perspective.
Ha ha ha, I wouldn’t actually call them statements of truth, even though an affidavit must be sworn before a commissioner of oaths, for the court, which costs £5.00 per swearing, in truth, they are mostly a one sided story, in fact they can be so hurtful and full of lies, that they are really read like a novel of fiction.
If you ever watched the BBC Drama Pride and Prejudice by novelist Jane Austen may I draw your attention to the words of Mr Bennett when he said “When one listens to stories of woes and misfortune, who would read novels, but what are we here for but to make sport for our neighbours and laugh at them in our turn”
Effectively meaning, that most affidavits that appear on your doorstep are but fiction and read like scandalous novels, they are great to read, but are of little value, more importantly they seem to be full of the most unbelievable lies, there will no doubt be smoke coming out of your ears, as Mr Bennett says, “who would read novels, and yet they are there to be laughed at in our own time”, what I am saying is, the affidavits themselves are nothing but contrived lies, trivia and fabricated stories.
Whilst they may seem hurtful to you at first glance, my advice is to bin them or file them, the end result is your requirement for a divorce, does it matter what it says about you, in a few months, no one will remember what it said, and if they did what can they do with it.
A Good point to note here, is that, if a client tells a solicitor, he did this and he did that, who are they to question it, they will only write into an affidavit, what their client tells them, so if she says, “He beat me up and threw me across the floor into the patio door, and bust open my head” well that’s what they will right into the affidavit, providing you know its not true, remembering that if you did, Police may have been called, if they haven’t and there is no evidence of it, there is little point in worrying about it.
By this time it is likely that you have appeared in court at least once, during the court process it normally lasts about 15 minutes, you will not be allowed to say anything, hence that is why you have solicitors acting for you, this Is frustrating as you will hear things which you feel are not true, you will be tempted to tot tut during the process or express your feelings such as “You lying cow” that is common, but you will be restrained by your solicitor not to say anything, in the end, it is not much point in saying anything, you only make yourself look worse.
The Judge will probably not say anything, they tend to be used to it, and most of the talking is done by lawyers, you will be tempted to say. Lies lies lies.
The next stage takes some 2 months, this is gathering of financial information for the ancillary relief process, you may be tempted to ask whets happening with the divorce, the divorce decree nisi will not be granted until there is a head of agreement in place, this cannot be agreed until there has been an FDR and FDR 2
FDR And FDR2.
The Financial Directions Resolution hearing will only take place, once both parties to a divorce has filled in a statement of full financial disclosure, that is all assets, property, shares, in truth anything you have that the court must consider, when you attend court for the initial FDR no doubt your solicitor will ask for counsel to be appointed, these are often solicitors who work in London and are qualified to speak at court in these matters, they tend to have more experience in these type of hearings, however they are expensive and greatly add to your costs, the initial FDR will be listed for a hearing and in the time prior to this, you must submit to your solicitor a full and frank disclosure of all your financial information including all bank accounts, etc etc, your wife must do the same.
Although when she submits hers, it is unlikely to be very much, however she still has to do this for the court.
Then at the First FDR the purpose of this hearing is for the two counsels to get together and agree a list of questions that they would like answered, this does actually require your attendance and quite frankly is a waste of your time, since you are treated like a mute animal.
Once the questions each side wishes to be clarified are determined, then you will be directed to go in before the Judge, at the small private room, the questions the Judge will allow will then be listed for answering.
A 2ND FDR will then be listen for about 8 weeks later, in this time both parties will then have to respond to the questions, generally this process is a paperwork trail, that often involves you in considerable expense, for example, self employed accounts will have to be re applied for, bank statements, going back 12 months, which you may have nor may not have, and in then end, generally it is all for nothing.
The 2ND FDR
At the 2nd FDR this is an attempt by counsel to reach a full and final financial settlement, although I cannot give specific legal advice at this stage, that is for your solicitor, a female applicant will try and get the best deal for herself, that is probably a 60-40 split on the property, and maintenance for herself and any children, as a general rule of thumb, if you wish to avoid paying her forever, you can ask whets known as a clean break principle, this is where your liabilities to her end on divorce decree absolute, however you will still have to make payments for the upkeep of your children, not only is that right and proper, you will not want your children to suffer.
This can be only 15 per cent of your income as I have previously stated, you may avoid maintenance to your ex wife forever by agreeing to a full and final property settlement, that is to relinquish your right to any equity share in your property, remembering what Danny Devito says in “War of the Roses”, “There are other houses”.
If you can obtain a clean break settlement, it’s the best thing for you, it means that you can avoid paying maintenance to your ex wife for the rest of her life, don’t think that you wont have to pay this, if you cannot get a clean break principles applied in your financial heads of agreement document, you will be stuck with paying her forever, this is something you will want to avoid, your solicitor will advise you of this.
If you can get a reasonable settlement for yourself, then once having agreed to it, and the other side having agreed to it, you will then be asked to go back in front of the Judge, once the Judge is satisfied that the agreement is reasonable and that both parties understand the agreement, she or he will thank you for having reached that agreement, as if you could not, the Judge would have to make a decision for you.
This is something that could have gone either way, but if this has been achieved, there will then be a heads of agreement drawn up.
This does not mean that this is the final matter in the ancillary relief procedures, for one thing, you will have to wait now until the decree Nisi is pronounced, this can only be achieved by the file going before the district judge yet again.
