Pls help "Sole responsibility"

[Aliana]

Hello, I must say I have found this forum very helpful and the people are very nice.
I am not really from the Philippines to be honest, I am from Mexico but it's so hard to get the right information
That's why I come to you. I have read your threads regarding the complex situation about kids from past relationships and proving you are the responsible for them

Here is my story:

I have been living in my country for year and half and we have decided to move to the UK later this year. I have 2 kids (11 and 13) from a previous relationship (never married) that ended long ago. The father never gave me any money and has not really been involved in their lives since they were toddlers. I never asked for pension since he never had money.
Now he sees them once or twice a month but I am the one who has been in charge of all concerning them, education, clothing, bills, etc etc.

So how do i prove that I have been the one with "sole responsibility" even if there's no legal paper that says so? Will I have to go to court and fight for legal custody?

I am so afraid we will get rejected, especially after paying so much. I also think it's so unfair to get rejected when you have done nothing wrong.

I am very stressed.

Thanks in advanced!

[bornatbirth]

your from mexico but say you have been living there for 1.5 years?, surely you have been there all your life

yes, you need to prove you have sole custody of your kids, maybe even paying the father off to get him to agree with it.

have you already tried to apply to come here?

[Aliana]

Oops, I meant for year and a half with my partner. Yes Almost my whole life here.

No, I would apply in the summer, that's why I am trying to get ready 4 it.

[bornatbirth]

i guess your current partner is from the UK?

then you need to find out how to get sole custody for your kids, why haven't you done this before...

[maria_and_matt]

i am not sure about mexico but back home in the philippines if you were never married to the father of your kids he has no right to them. my sister had a child with somebody but never married to him, she takes her daughter in and out of the philippines without the fathers consent.

[Aliana]

Shoot, I forgot to write the part ab my partner. Yes, he is British.

It's a long story. The father of my kids had been violent and threatening until not too long. I was terrified, specially him on drugs. Now he is clean.

In an unmarried relationship with kids the mother has the custody in my country, just there's no legal paper saying it.

[Aliana]

i am not sure about mexico but back home in the philippines if you were never married to the father of your kids he has no right to them. my sister had a child with somebody but never married to him, she takes her daughter in and out of the philippines without the fathers consent.

I think here the problem is that the have his last name.

[maria_and_matt]

Shoot, I forgot to write the part ab my partner. Yes, he is British.

It's a long story. The father of my kids had been violent and threatening until not too long. I was terrified, specially him on drugs. Now he is clean.

In an unmarried relationship with kids the mother has the custody in my country, just there's no legal paper saying it.

i do not think you will have a problem at all. does the fathers name appear on your childrens birth certificate? coz on my sisters daughter she was not even allowed to put the fathers name coz she's not married to him.

[Aliana]

i do not think you will have a problem at all. does the fathers name appear on your childrens birth certificate? coz on my sisters daughter she was not even allowed to put the fathers name coz she's not married to him.

Yes :(

[joebloggs]

Sole Custody

On to the two key requirements for a child visa. Sole custody is as it sounds the legal rights over the child. This would normally be split between the two parents. However as one parent is requesting to move the child out of its birth country you need to prove "sole custody" over the child to do this. This isn't actually as difficult as it sounds providing your situation isn't too complex.

Basically proof of sole custody. If the other parent is deceased it can be obtained with their death certificate. If the parents' marriage/civil partnership has been dissolved, one of the parents must have been awarded legal custody.

Sole Responsibility

Sole responsibility is the real pain in the application. I believe researching back a few years that if you could prove the usual settlement visa requirements and sole custody your application was pretty much there. However now a days the ECOs are putting more emphasis on sole responsibility and applications are being declined due to it.

Basically you need to try and prove not only that you/your partner has financially supported the child but that key decisions affecting the child's life have also been taken by your partner.

The following factors should be considered in assessing sole responsibility:

Does the marriage / civil partnership subsist, but the parents do not live together?
Are the parents married / in a civil partnership?
If the parent migrated to the UK:
How long has the parent been separated from the child ?
What were the arrangements for the care of the child before and after the parent migrated ?
What has been/what is the parent's relationship with the child?
By whom, and in what proportions, is the cost of the child's maintenance borne?
Who takes the important decisions about the child's upbringing, for example where the child lives, the choice of school, religious practice etc?


I found this quite difficult to prove. Although my wife and I solely financially support the child and my wife does choose the child's schooling and health care etc., it is very difficult to prove on paper.
The only way I could think around this was a written statement from the child's current guardian (Grandmother) stating the situation clearly that my wife takes the main decisions in the child's life and supports him completely financially. We backed this up with a letter from his private English tutor stating she had been instructed by my wife to teach the little lad.
Further than this I didn't know what else we could prove? Other members may have more creative ideas.

Sole custody becomes more of a problem the more complicated your situation is. For example

If your partner has been in the UK for one year, has sent money and contacted the child regularly, now wants to bring the child to the UK and the child has been supported by yours partners family. You have a good case for sole responsibility.

However if your partner has been in the UK for 7 years, still sending money and keeping regular contact but the child has been raised by the other parent or other parents family you are going to have an extremely difficult job proving your partner has maintained sole responsibility over the child in the 7 years your partner has been here.

cut and pasted from john at thaiuk .

[KeithD]

Why would you want to leave lovely warm Mexico and come here?

[Arthur Little]

Hello, I must say I have found this forum very helpful and the people are very nice.
I am not really from the Philippines to be honest, I am from Mexico but it's so hard to get the right information
I am so afraid we will get rejected, especially after paying so much. I also think it's so unfair to get rejected when you have done nothing wrong.

I am very stressed.

to the forum, Aliana. Although I personally, know very little [if anything] about the legalities concerning 'Sole Responsibility' and Child Custody issues generally ... and even less as regards how those are applied in relation to Mexican Law ... there ARE people here willing to guide and advise as best they can. Joe Bloggs is one such person, and I'm very sure HIS wise counsel will go a long way towards alleviating much of the stress and anxiety you're undergoing at present.

[Aliana]

Why would you want to leave lovely warm Mexico and come here?

Hehe, I don't like the excessive sun here to be honest so hopefully I will be able to stand the climate

Thanks for your comments and help. I'm still looking into it. Finding all proof that I have been the one supporting them since ever. School bills, etc. I guess I will have to ask for letters from school and pediatrician who have known me for long.

But I am still trying to decide if I fight for the legal custody which could take months.

Anyway, being able to talk to people related makes me feel better

[Arthur Little]

Hehe, I don't like the *[excessive sun] here to be honest

*NOT a problem you're likely to encounter in the UK ... as your partner will readily confirm!