going to mass

[vis-a-vis]

Am interested in hearing peoples experiences when dealing with returning to the catholic church after a very extended break.

Funerals and weddings aside its been about 20 years for me. Am not sure what i am, do believe in a god but totally drifted away from all religion

I contacted my local priest at the w/end to ask if it would be possible to marry at my local church,the father explained that i need to attend mass frequently for this to happen

On Sunday, i attended my first mass since i was a teenager .I felt like a fish out of water. I could only remember fragments of what to say and when to say it.I tried to sing the hymms but didn't know the melody etc.I sat at the back of the church and felt akward as most of the congregation was elderly or family's.I also could not go up for the bread as i have not been to confession in recent decades.

I tried to talk with the priest afterwards, as agreed during the previous night's phone call, but there was two priest and i did not know which one was which

I tried to explain that my situation and felt totally fake, which is fair enough as i am not a regular and arrived there talking about visa's etc. I stuttered my way through explaining the situation.

The priest appeared to want the conversation to end, even though i explained that i was not just there because i wanted to marry.He's probably heard this story many times before. I explained that even after the wedding i will attend mass weekly with my wife as i love her and know how important her faith is.We are planning to start a family and our children will be baptised, go to catholic school etc, so i want to do the right thing

Would like to hear views and advice on this, is it wrong to go to church because of these reasons et?.Also. was advised that i need to give 6 months notice for a wedding which appears difficult under visa rules.I have explained this on the sponsorship letter but assuming this is not exceptional circumstances

[KeithD]

Starting a thread on religion usually ends in war on here for people believing in fairy tales

[South-east boy]

Am interested in hearing peoples experiences when dealing with returning to the catholic church after a very extended break.

Funerals and weddings aside its been about 20 years for me. Am not sure what i am, do believe in a god but totally drifted away from all religion

I contacted my local priest at the w/end to ask if it would be possible to marry at my local church,the father explained that i need to attend mass frequently for this to happen

On Sunday, i attended my first mass since i was a teenager .I felt like a fish out of water. I could only remember fragments of what to say and when to say it.I tried to sing the hymms but didn't know the melody etc.I sat at the back of the church and felt akward as most of the congregation was elderly or family's.I also could not go up for the bread as i have not been to confession in recent decades.

I tried to talk with the priest afterwards, as agreed during the previous night's phone call, but there was two priest and i did not know which one was which

I tried to explain that my situation and felt totally fake, which is fair enough as i am not a regular and arrived there talking about visa's etc. I stuttered my way through explaining the situation.

The priest appeared to want the conversation to end, even though i explained that i was not just there because i wanted to marry.He's probably heard this story many times before. I explained that even after the wedding i will attend mass weekly with my wife as i love her and know how important her faith is.We are planning to start a family and our children will be baptised, go to catholic school etc, so i want to do the right thing

Would like to hear views and advice on this, is it wrong to go to church because of these reasons et?.Also. was advised that i need to give 6 months notice for a wedding which appears difficult under visa rules.I have explained this on the sponsorship letter but assuming this is not exceptional circumstances

Have you thought about getting married in a church in the Philippines instead of over here?

[vis-a-vis]

your right win, not meaning this to be a religious debate thread.I love fairies and tales but am not religious at all

I moved away after having the cathocism drummed into me at an early age.

Interested in hearing other peoples experiences of trying to return to the church because a catholic or other religious ceremony is important to there girlfriend.

[vis-a-vis]

hi South,
my biggest regret last year was not getting married to Leizel over in pi. I should have and really wish i did. I never because i thought it would be too sudden for my family and friends but if i could turn back the clock, i would.

[bornatbirth]

why don't you both have a civil marriage first, then a church wedding after....because as your already married they can't say no?

[vis-a-vis]

thanks bornatbirth,
sounds like a good solution. am pretty thick when i comes to weddings as have never been married before.If we could do that then i would be really happy..am still trying to get my head round organising the wedding and visa rules.Its seems all chicken and egg, catch 22 at the moment and i hate it. Registry, then church wedding sounds great. .The most important thing in my life is getting leizel over here then begining our life together.I would like a church wedding for leizel but the way things are i would be so happy just to have her here

[Doc Alan]

[QUOTE=vis-a-vis;201179]thanks bornatbirth,
..am still trying to get my head round organising the wedding and visa rules.Its seems all chicken and egg, catch 22 at the moment and i hate it/QUOTE]

I can understand ! The fiance visa requires proof that you intend to get married within 6 months but to arrange a date with the Registrar you both need to attend! A provisional booking is a compromise. There's many other threads on this forum about visas.

[KeithD]

It's strange how many Filipina's stop going to church once they arrive in the UK.... kind of like the family shackles are off.

Nothing wrong with a registry office wedding, you can do it for less than £50 if your Scottish and that includes 4 portions of chips

[Northerner]

As a former Catholic I know the priests can be a pain in the ..

I think unless you can find another church in another town (tell them you would like to use their church as it is in a nice village or town) you will have to go down the route of going into church and getting to know the priest, off to mass as well as the old confession thing again

And as I write this I think I might have to do this one day soon

Except I am an Atheist so going to Church for an hour or so every week will be the least enjoyable thing I get to do

[vis-a-vis]

It's strange how many Filipina's stop going to church once they arrive in the UK.... kind of like the family shackles are off.

Nothing wrong with a registry office wedding, you can do it for less than £50 if your Scottish and that includes 4 portions of chips

Hi win,I may get off lightly if this happens
I never realised that it could be done so cheap as i haven't looked into registry office yet.Thats great, specially for a tight scot like me hehe.

If we end up getting married in pi its going to need to be jollibee for the wedding meal. i know they do kids parties so they might accept a booking for wedding

As a former Catholic I know the priests can be a pain in the ..

I think unless you can find another church in another town (tell them you would like to use their church as it is in a nice village or town) you will have to go down the route of going into church and getting to know the priest, off to mass as well as the old confession thing again

And as I write this I think I might have to do this one day soon

Except I am an Atheist so going to Church for an hour or so every week will be the least enjoyable thing I get to do

Hi Northerner,
thanks for the advice.I will definitely consider another church if things don't go well at my local one.

Sundays fast approaching but am feeling a bit better about it this week.I now know that i should bless myself before take a seat etc.As for confession, where do i start, i think i might need at least a day of the priests time

Let us know how you get on if you decide to return