FYI my mother didnt say that what we send is not enough, we, my husband especially asks my mum if she bought all of her medicines and she'd say no coz the cost is too high, and she didnt have enough to buy it all. my hubby do not find that offensive at all.Originally Posted by IainBusby
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
We do have also Ian. Ours is "Huwag mo silang bigyan ng isda, turuan mo silang mangisda" Don't give them fish, teach them how to catch fish" So it will be alright for us if we buy fish net for them if they like to catch fish.
But there's always exemption. Elderlies for me is exempted as not all elderlies are pensioners in our country and it is hard for them to catch fish anymore. My Nanay is 82 and still she can plant veggies, have chickens to sell and she still earns. But still we all send her money/gifts because we always think, we can stop her planting if we send, but no she will not going to stop.
oh dear cathy,its hard if you dont got work here...if you wanted somethingMy sister just sent me a mail yesterday saying if i could buy her an original coach bag...I wonder how much does it cost and whether i will have money to buy it...
and your hubbys dont got much money...and all the family asking you for some help.that is the trouble.because they all expect you are here in uk you are rich
they doesnt realized how hard life here..everythings expensive...but if you got work and you work fulltime..[you know what i mean]so you got your own money no need to ask your hubby if you can used your own money.because you know you can help your family anytime if you want too. yes?so good luck ...the best i can advise you tell theme your not working yet,
so you can give theme...tell your family your husband not rich...
not all ofw sending all the money back home...
... my wife doesn't.
It will always be innate for evey Filipino to become softhearted when it comes to family. As you all know, filipinos are known to always have close family ties. Even those not part of the family can call you "Ate" or "Kuya","Tita" or "Tito". A Filipino always value his/her own family no matter what to the greatest extent.
It is true that most Filipinos if not all have this notion that life in the west is a life filled with milk and honey....so the reason when one learns that she marries a western guy, she is expected to have a good life with him out there. Filipinos will have the tendency to compare the difference in the currency conversion to the kind of life you will be living with.
So for every filipino, whether with or without a job overseas,there will always have this desire to share his/her "blessings" to the family or relatives she left back home......and not being able to do so will give her/him a slight guilt. Whether her family back home is financially able or not, a filipino always have this value of giving and sharing.
You are practically right but for most filipina wives, balikbayan box is just a way of thinking your family back home. For me, it is also our family's way of lambing or to show fondness and affection. My little 3-4 year old cousins told me, ate, if you will send me chocolates and dolls I will be very good like angels in heaven. I was touched with their magical words ehehhehe, i feel how desperately they want it and found it is cheaper to buy here second hand dolls so why not? I used to send cappuchino coffee to my Mom as she love it and I can't really find it in SM. I just always want to give the very best to my 82 yr old Nanay. So it is the fondness and affection to us that counts. Not the cost of the box.
I think it depends upon the family you have, depends upon what you have and depends upon your innerside. Some people choose to be happy called as greedy, some people feels really happy to help. But most of filipino families are happy in helping each other. I have seen so many successful filipino families who did sharing and helping each other.for me its okey they call me greedy or tight than softhearted.........im already nearly 3 yrs here and a plain housewife....so my family and relatives expect nothing from me.
I believe, it is our culture having a close family ties.
I have also noticed that british people in general, understands and respects others culture. I watched t.v. and read their magazines and newspapers how they respect muslim culture, gypsys, indians and other countries.
So it is not difficult for me to explain to hubby and be proud of our culture.
It's better to send food or other gifts rather than money. My friend had a bit of (my) money left over at the end of the day, which he gave to his granddaughter for texting, rather than to his daughter who was looking after the granddaughter's baby and had no money for milk.
I soon realised my friend and his family were happy to take as much money from me as I was prepared to give, and would not stop until I was as poor as they were. The worse part about it is that they thought it was for my own good, because this culture is greedy and selfish and should learn to share.
How nice of them to help you with your greed and selfishness problem.
One thing I can say is mostly Filipinas/nos likes to buy a designer things.Even if they are not rich they want to show off to their friends and think that it can change their status symbol in the society, in owning a n expensive stuff.
Regards,
Ping
In America the coach brand is very expensive. When I was there I try to visit the designer outlet opposite to the hotel where I stayed. There was a sale on the coach shop loads of people inside, I went in then the checked the prices , I cant, believed that even a small coin purse is one hundred dollar and that was sale.The smallest handbag and not very nice design is five hundred. So can't be bother.
I don't own a bag cause I don't like to carry one.
Regards,
Ping
aw so expensive ate ping even next bag i can't affort it hehehe so mahal
all things are possible!
try primark you can buy just a 1 pound handbag
No..Because then you would have to buy them a fishing boat to go with the net plus 6 weeks worth of diesel and 25 Styrofoam boxes to put all the fish in (plus ice)..Then they will request you hire a local captain as he will know where best to fish plus some fishermen that will teach them to catch fish..Then you will have to endure the maintenance cost due to the dodgy surplus engine..We do have also Ian. Ours is "Huwag mo silang bigyan ng isda, turuan mo silang mangisda" Don't give them fish, teach them how to catch fish" So it will be alright for us if we buy fish net for them if they like to catch fish.
Cheaper to buy the buggers fish IMO.
This generation, people are very concious and curious about fashion bags and shoes.
If the zipper of that bag is gold, then I will try to save and buy one.
I have bags but hate to carry bags, umbrella and handkerchief. I am much comfortable with plastic bags, run if raining and tissue paper for runny nose. How's that ate ping? ehehehehhe My husband is only the one who wants me to carry bag!
Well, that is one way of showing your love to your husband, love is sharing and giving rather than moaning about money and showing your tightness to each other. I always tell my husband, if we die, we cannot bring money in heaven, so let's not be tight to each other.
One time, my brother went home from abroad and he told my Nanay that he is going to kill all her veggie plants because she is stubborn. But my Nanay said, kill me first before you kill my plants. And if you are going to ask the money you sent, it is in the bank.Yes, as we know a lot of eldelies are quite stubborn & set in their ways and as much as we try to stop them doing certain things for their good, will they listen?!
I understand you Fred that sometimes they have no satisfaction.
But sometimes, you'll also see some relatives that trying their best onced you have given them a break. Come on! give them a break!
Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.
My point is, my husband has done so many things for my family. So now that im in uk, i dont want to bother him about sending money to philippines because i think its too much. And he is providing me all the things i need especially now that im pregnant.
That's probably why they expect gifts now. That's the problem with these situations - once you start it's to be expected all the time. I understand your points, as does everybody else whose replied here. You just got to tell them straight.Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.
Cash send to Ph if emergencies....prezzies when u come to ph on holidays
and dont worry to much ..its not good for ur little one inside ur tummy!!!!
@adam&chryss, we are exacly the same, i've been helping and giving money to my brother, sister, mother, father, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles and my beloved granny when i was in the philippines. I have had a good job there and well paid so i dont mind helping them because i love them and they're my family. But now that im in uk, things are different. But im sure and i hope that soon they will understand. Although i still think that most of my family think im too tight.
@sars_notd_virus, thanks so much for the concern. Yes better not to think about it too much or my baby will kick me in thehehehe.
You're such a nice daughter and wonderful aunt Adam&Chryss.Back in PI. I was the one who pay most of our bills like telephone, electric, internet and cable bills. Then I used to give my mum some money to add with our groceries/food. I have 6 nephews and 2 nieces which I love so dearly. Every Christmas I buy them shoes and clothes, but not this last xmas :( When it comes with my family I'm very generous.
But now I'm in UK I can't contribute anything. They had to cut the cable and internet. They were also thinking to cut the telephone but my mum wants to keep it so they did.
Lucky me they understand my situation and they don't ask anything from me. Whatever we send them they are very thankful. And they will send us something in return.
I'm working part time now but still I can't send them money. They told me not to worry about them, what I should worry is how to save money for us to visit them coz they miss us so much and they want to see and meet my lil' Isaac.
Hopefully when Isaac is bit bigger and I can work fulltime I can send my mum some money just for herself and send more things (toys/clothes) for my nephews and nieces.
Better to let them understand what life we have here in UK. Moan them about how expensive bills and food here. Tell them that ur husband is earning £££ like this and spending bills like that.
That's what I did, they thought my husband's wages is too much bec. they convert it to peso but when I told them about our bills and how expensive meat and chicken here, they understand that it is just like in Philippines. I even told them I can't buy tilapia coz it's very expensive
More blessings to come on your way!
I also told my Mom, I bought 2 ampalaya for £7, more than a pound for kankong. She was shocked and told me to plant ampalaya and kangkong here and sell to market.I tried to plant but ampalaya only gives me flowers and leaves and no fruits.
but still leaves can mix with ginisang monggo.
I am sure you have proven them that you are not kuripot and sooner or later they will understand the real life in the UK. You have also proven to them that you are not madamot. Just be patient and soon they will understand.@adam&chryss, we are exacly the same, i've been helping and giving money to my brother, sister, mother, father, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles and my beloved granny when i was in the philippines. I have had a good job there and well paid so i dont mind helping them because i love them and they're my family. But now that im in uk, things are different. But im sure and i hope that soon they will understand. Although i still think that most of my family think im too tight.
@sars_notd_virus, thanks so much for the concern. Yes better not to think about it too much or my baby will kick me in the
You are so lucky that you still have granny. My granny died at 84 in 1982. I used to stay beside her and hear her old stories about panahon ng japon, ng kastila at ng amerikano.
I really think this is so important, you never know how long you will have your loved ones. Panahon is "era"/"time" and Kastila is "Spanish" so you're talking about the time of the Japanese occupation, Spanish and American rule. Only yesterday I was watching archive film about World War II and General Douglas MacArthur's return, as he had promised. Then an ambitious young lawyer from Ilocos who used his wartime "adventures" to enter the political arena ...Ferdinand Marcos. But to hear from your own relatives about the past as they remember it should not be missed. What they tell you depends on your love and respect for them.... listen before it's too late!
You are so lucky that you still have granny. My granny died at 84 in 1982. I used to stay beside her and hear her old stories about panahon ng japon, ng kastila at ng amerikano.
You are so lucky that you still have granny. My granny died at 84 in 1982. I used to stay beside her and hear her old stories about panahon ng japon, ng kastila at ng amerikano.I know I've a habit of digressing from the main theme ... and I realise that what I'm about to emphasise is, perhaps, slightly... but, Penny's and Alan's posts both highlight the importance of connecting with earlier generations. I was fortunate in having my maternal grandparents right up until the 1970s [when each of my own two children was already born] and even now, looking back, I am thankful for how much I learnt from them. My *grandpa (as I called him) attained the great age of ninety-seven ... and was able to recall the late Victorian era - before motor vehicles, aeroplanes and radio (let alone television) were ever heard of - yet invariably maintained "the auld [old] days were the best, ye ken [know] Arthur!"
My mother's sister (daughter of the *above) is still surprisingly active at 91 ... and remains very much alert for someone of her advanced years; indeed, her in-depth knowledge of current affairs, frequently puts ME to shame!Sadly,
she is the last-surviving member of both sides of my family. So, as Alan implies, LISTEN carefully to the "golden oldies" before it's too late; they have much to teach us!!!
and how the japs bayoneted to death innocent people
http://ww2history.suite101.com/artic...pino_civilians
my mom used to tell me stories of when the nazis invaded liuthuania when she was a teenager
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