Originally Posted by fred
but true
nope they dont! my husbands uncle who is 84, still goes around on his bike! i told him to call me if he needed a lift to town or the supermarket (he gave up driving a year ago when he had an accident), he still insists that he is ok and can manage. 2 weeks ago he fell and now the swelling, pain he has to put up with. i told him it is not wrong to ask for help, he is sooooo stubborn.Yes, as we know a lot of eldelies are quite stubborn & set in their ways and as much as we try to stop them doing certain things for their good, will they listen?!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
This generation, people are very concious and curious about fashion bags and shoes.
If the zipper of that bag is gold, then I will try to save and buy one.
I have bags but hate to carry bags, umbrella and handkerchief. I am much comfortable with plastic bags, run if raining and tissue paper for runny nose. How's that ate ping? ehehehehhe My husband is only the one who wants me to carry bag!
Well, that is one way of showing your love to your husband, love is sharing and giving rather than moaning about money and showing your tightness to each other. I always tell my husband, if we die, we cannot bring money in heaven, so let's not be tight to each other.
One time, my brother went home from abroad and he told my Nanay that he is going to kill all her veggie plants because she is stubborn. But my Nanay said, kill me first before you kill my plants. And if you are going to ask the money you sent, it is in the bank.Yes, as we know a lot of eldelies are quite stubborn & set in their ways and as much as we try to stop them doing certain things for their good, will they listen?!
I understand you Fred that sometimes they have no satisfaction.
But sometimes, you'll also see some relatives that trying their best onced you have given them a break. Come on! give them a break!
Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.
My point is, my husband has done so many things for my family. So now that im in uk, i dont want to bother him about sending money to philippines because i think its too much. And he is providing me all the things i need especially now that im pregnant.I dont want to send money to philippines for now because i dont have a job at the moment. Like lizaphil said, its better if i have a job but thats impossible at the moment. I dont think thats being selfish and greedy. Can anyone understand my point????
That's probably why they expect gifts now. That's the problem with these situations - once you start it's to be expected all the time. I understand your points, as does everybody else whose replied here. You just got to tell them straight.Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.
I exclude elderlies from all of my comments and my wife and I do send money to support her parents but unfortunately, I get the impression that they're always broke because a lot of the money we send so that they can have a more comfortable life is given away to the extended family who assume they have lots of money because they have a daughter living in the UK.
Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.
My point is, my husband has done so many things for my family. So now that im in uk, i dont want to bother him about sending money to philippines because i think its too much. And he is providing me all the things i need especially now that im pregnant.
I certainly can understand your point, the trouble is because in the past it seems to have been a simple matter of they ask, he gives and now when you say no you won't give them what they ask for they say your being mean. As I said in an earlier post on this subject, I find that very insulting.
Please cool down! I don't know how close you are with Liza why she did tell that. If she knows you are preggy, and she knew you did more than enough with your family, I am sure she will not give such advise.Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.
My point is, my husband has done so many things for my family. So now that im in uk, i dont want to bother him about sending money to philippines because i think its too much. And he is providing me all the things i need especially now that im pregnant.
We do understand you and we respect your views and opinions. If we ask some advises, we are ready for some negative replies and what you did is fine.
It's lovely to hear that you support her ederly parents and I've got your point. I have known some friends that keeps sending money to their mother and the mother gives the money to other lazy children. One time, I had time to speak with my friend mother and tell her exactly how hard the job of her daughter abroad. What her daughter want is to enjoy the money for herself and let other children strive hard. It upsets me because, no hope to change for good.I exclude elderlies from all of my comments and my wife and I do send money to support her parents but unfortunately, I get the impression that they're always broke because a lot of the money we send so that they can have a more comfortable life is given away to the extended family who assume they have lots of money because they have a daughter living in the UK.
I certainly can understand your point, the trouble is because in the past it seems to have been a simple matter of they ask, he gives and now when you say no you won't give them what they ask for they say your being mean. As I said in an earlier post on this subject, I find that very insulting.
There are really different stories here. If I sent money to my deaf sister, my Nanay is jealous. She said she has husband to strive for her. If I send all money to her, she deposit in the bank and give some to my sister. That is the rules of my Nanay so I always follow what she wants to make her happy.
She said, she gave already her 6 berdoom house to my youngest sis and youngest brother and she moved to my house. I looked after her for years and she love to stay with me as at the back of my house is where her farm is. So she has good access to her farm as I broke the concrete fence.She said her house is supposed to be mine as I was the last one who got married. So my Nanay advised me to strive for myself which I have already done before, worked 16 hrs/ day in Taiwan, bought my own properties and just helping them if they have good achievements done.
My Nanay never heard me complaining nor ask where are my parts in her property which truly in my heart, it is not a problem as I believe, if you give, you will never be poor and more blessings to come in your way.
Well lizaphil is my friend and what she said was fine. She understands my situation like all of you and i hope my family in the philippines will do the same. Although they're not pushing me about it but still i feel as if im being pressured and that they might think im too tight...
Back in PI. I was the one who pay most of our bills like telephone, electric, internet and cable bills. Then I used to give my mum some money to add with our groceries/food. I have 6 nephews and 2 nieces which I love so dearly. Every Christmas I buy them shoes and clothes, but not this last xmas :( When it comes with my family I'm very generous.
But now I'm in UK I can't contribute anything. They had to cut the cable and internet. They were also thinking to cut the telephone but my mum wants to keep it so they did.
Lucky me they understand my situation and they don't ask anything from me. Whatever we send them they are very thankful. And they will send us something in return.
I'm working part time now but still I can't send them money. They told me not to worry about them, what I should worry is how to save money for us to visit them coz they miss us so much and they want to see and meet my lil' Isaac.
Hopefully when Isaac is bit bigger and I can work fulltime I can send my mum some money just for herself and send more things (toys/clothes) for my nephews and nieces.
Better to let them understand what life we have here in UK. Moan them about how expensive bills and food here. Tell them that ur husband is earning £££ like this and spending bills like that.
That's what I did, they thought my husband's wages is too much bec. they convert it to peso but when I told them about our bills and how expensive meat and chicken here, they understand that it is just like in Philippines. I even told them I can't buy tilapia coz it's very expensive
That's the problem, when we applied for my step-daughters visa all of my bank/savings statements and my salary slips were returned to my wife's parents address and as they had to open the package to get my step-daughters passport and check for the visa, I'm sure they know as much about my finances now as I do myself. When converted to pesos, I'm sure they think I am an extremely wealthy man, which of course in UK terms I am not and this probably leads them to think I am extremely kuripot.Back in PI. I was the one who pay most of our bills like telephone, electric, internet and cable bills. Then I used to give my mum some money to add with our groceries/food. I have 6 nephews and 2 nieces which I love so dearly. Every Christmas I buy them shoes and clothes, but not this last xmas :( When it comes with my family I'm very generous.
But now I'm in UK I can't contribute anything. They had to cut the cable and internet. They were also thinking to cut the telephone but my mum wants to keep it so they did.
Lucky me they understand my situation and they don't ask anything from me. Whatever we send them they are very thankful. And they will send us something in return.
I'm working part time now but still I can't send them money. They told me not to worry about them, what I should worry is how to save money for us to visit them coz they miss us so much and they want to see and meet my lil' Isaac.
Hopefully when Isaac is bit bigger and I can work fulltime I can send my mum some money just for herself and send more things (toys/clothes) for my nephews and nieces.
Better to let them understand what life we have here in UK. Moan them about how expensive bills and food here. Tell them that ur husband is earning £££ like this and spending bills like that.
That's what I did, they thought my husband's wages is too much bec. they convert it to peso but when I told them about our bills and how expensive meat and chicken here, they understand that it is just like in Philippines. I even told them I can't buy tilapia coz it's very expensive
Cash send to Ph if emergencies....prezzies when u come to ph on holidays
and dont worry to much ..its not good for ur little one inside ur tummy!!!!
@adam&chryss, we are exacly the same, i've been helping and giving money to my brother, sister, mother, father, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles and my beloved granny when i was in the philippines. I have had a good job there and well paid so i dont mind helping them because i love them and they're my family. But now that im in uk, things are different. But im sure and i hope that soon they will understand. Although i still think that most of my family think im too tight.
@sars_notd_virus, thanks so much for the concern. Yes better not to think about it too much or my baby will kick me in thehehehe.
You're such a nice daughter and wonderful aunt Adam&Chryss.Back in PI. I was the one who pay most of our bills like telephone, electric, internet and cable bills. Then I used to give my mum some money to add with our groceries/food. I have 6 nephews and 2 nieces which I love so dearly. Every Christmas I buy them shoes and clothes, but not this last xmas :( When it comes with my family I'm very generous.
But now I'm in UK I can't contribute anything. They had to cut the cable and internet. They were also thinking to cut the telephone but my mum wants to keep it so they did.
Lucky me they understand my situation and they don't ask anything from me. Whatever we send them they are very thankful. And they will send us something in return.
I'm working part time now but still I can't send them money. They told me not to worry about them, what I should worry is how to save money for us to visit them coz they miss us so much and they want to see and meet my lil' Isaac.
Hopefully when Isaac is bit bigger and I can work fulltime I can send my mum some money just for herself and send more things (toys/clothes) for my nephews and nieces.
Better to let them understand what life we have here in UK. Moan them about how expensive bills and food here. Tell them that ur husband is earning £££ like this and spending bills like that.
That's what I did, they thought my husband's wages is too much bec. they convert it to peso but when I told them about our bills and how expensive meat and chicken here, they understand that it is just like in Philippines. I even told them I can't buy tilapia coz it's very expensive
More blessings to come on your way!
I also told my Mom, I bought 2 ampalaya for £7, more than a pound for kankong. She was shocked and told me to plant ampalaya and kangkong here and sell to market.I tried to plant but ampalaya only gives me flowers and leaves and no fruits.
but still leaves can mix with ginisang monggo.
I am sure you have proven them that you are not kuripot and sooner or later they will understand the real life in the UK. You have also proven to them that you are not madamot. Just be patient and soon they will understand.@adam&chryss, we are exacly the same, i've been helping and giving money to my brother, sister, mother, father, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles and my beloved granny when i was in the philippines. I have had a good job there and well paid so i dont mind helping them because i love them and they're my family. But now that im in uk, things are different. But im sure and i hope that soon they will understand. Although i still think that most of my family think im too tight.
@sars_notd_virus, thanks so much for the concern. Yes better not to think about it too much or my baby will kick me in the
You are so lucky that you still have granny. My granny died at 84 in 1982. I used to stay beside her and hear her old stories about panahon ng japon, ng kastila at ng amerikano.
I really think this is so important, you never know how long you will have your loved ones. Panahon is "era"/"time" and Kastila is "Spanish" so you're talking about the time of the Japanese occupation, Spanish and American rule. Only yesterday I was watching archive film about World War II and General Douglas MacArthur's return, as he had promised. Then an ambitious young lawyer from Ilocos who used his wartime "adventures" to enter the political arena ...Ferdinand Marcos. But to hear from your own relatives about the past as they remember it should not be missed. What they tell you depends on your love and respect for them.... listen before it's too late!
You are so lucky that you still have granny. My granny died at 84 in 1982. I used to stay beside her and hear her old stories about panahon ng japon, ng kastila at ng amerikano.
You are so lucky that you still have granny. My granny died at 84 in 1982. I used to stay beside her and hear her old stories about panahon ng japon, ng kastila at ng amerikano.I know I've a habit of digressing from the main theme ... and I realise that what I'm about to emphasise is, perhaps, slightly... but, Penny's and Alan's posts both highlight the importance of connecting with earlier generations. I was fortunate in having my maternal grandparents right up until the 1970s [when each of my own two children was already born] and even now, looking back, I am thankful for how much I learnt from them. My *grandpa (as I called him) attained the great age of ninety-seven ... and was able to recall the late Victorian era - before motor vehicles, aeroplanes and radio (let alone television) were ever heard of - yet invariably maintained "the auld [old] days were the best, ye ken [know] Arthur!"
My mother's sister (daughter of the *above) is still surprisingly active at 91 ... and remains very much alert for someone of her advanced years; indeed, her in-depth knowledge of current affairs, frequently puts ME to shame!Sadly,
she is the last-surviving member of both sides of my family. So, as Alan implies, LISTEN carefully to the "golden oldies" before it's too late; they have much to teach us!!!
and how the japs bayoneted to death innocent people
http://ww2history.suite101.com/artic...pino_civilians
my mom used to tell me stories of when the nazis invaded liuthuania when she was a teenager
Lithuania?and how the japs bayoneted to death innocent people
http://ww2history.suite101.com/artic...pino_civilians
my mom used to tell me stories of when the nazis invaded liuthuania when she was a teenager
you're both right! I love to hear old stories from them and asked them how they were survived during that era. They survived because they always hide themselves under the ground.I know I've a habit of digressing from the main theme ... and I realise that what I'm about to emphasise is, perhaps, slightly
My mother's sister (daughter of the *above) is still surprisingly active at 91 ... and remains very much alert for someone of her advanced years; indeed, her in-depth knowledge of current affairs, frequently puts ME to shame!I remember her advise eversince we were a child. She said do not be selfish, because if you die, uwak (black birds) will eat you! We were so scared with black birds although we haven't seen any. When I arrived here, I have noticed loads of black birds and remember my Lola's saying.
try primark you can buy just a 1 pound handbag
both my parents are from Lithuania they came here just as WW2 finished, they lived under Nazi rule, but escaped from Lithuania when the Russians invaded.Lithuania?
my mother remembers being at school and seeing German planes flying past, the start of the invasion, the Nazis came to her school, burnt all the Lithuanian books and replaced them with German books
my father joined the Russian army to fight the Nazis, when the Russians invaded, my mom who was 13, her younger sister, baby brother and her mom left on the last train before the Russians invaded where they were, her uncle was killed by Russian fighter planes who were shooting at people trying to flee the country
my mom told us of many things that she seen and had happened to her, kids to day have no idea what some went thru..
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