a very intresting surprice situation...didnt see it coming...

[Peanutz]

[QUOTE=joebloggs;202746]your husband is your sponsor, and effectively he's withdrawing his support if he says the marriage is over and will not sign her ilr app.

You know what...this rule or whatever you call it is actually depriving a person of any rights. Just because a sponsor whether it's husband or wife has decided that his/her wife/husband is not good enough then he/she can withdraw the sponsorship leaving the person on his/her own fate.

I'm afraid to say but all I can think of now is...this is an unequal treatment.

[Tonet]

No need to worry about asking the hubby's help for ILR as she already has

http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=18527

I just hope that she would for once stand up for herself and say "enough" because it looks like her hubby is not gonna do it for her.
Say to him "NO i'm not going back to Philippines, if you dont want to keep me i'll look after myself"

[joebloggs]

No need to worry about asking the hubby's help for ILR as she already has

http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=18527

I just hope that she would for once stand up for herself and say "enough" because it looks like her hubby is not gonna do it for her.
Say to him "NO i'm not going back to Philippines, if you dont want to keep me i'll look after myself"

well spotted Tonet

then what allyn does is up to her now

[Peanutz]

No need to worry about asking the hubby's help for ILR as she already has

http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=18527

I just hope that she would for once stand up for herself and say "enough" because it looks like her hubby is not gonna do it for her.
Say to him "NO i'm not going back to Philippines, if you dont want to keep me i'll look after myself"

Oh Tonet! That makes her situation easier...and I can go to sleep now...
Whew...I was a little bit worried there...

She needs to think for herself now...ALLYN! You have lots of work to do...get yourself ready cause it will not be a joy ride.

[joebloggs]

[QUOTE=Peanutz;202749]

your husband is your sponsor, and effectively he's withdrawing his support if he says the marriage is over and will not sign her ilr app.

You know what...this rule or whatever you call it is actually depriving a person of any rights. Just because a sponsor whether it's husband or wife has decided that his/her wife/husband is not good enough then he/she can withdraw the sponsorship leaving the person on his/her own fate.

I'm afraid to say but all I can think of now is...this is an unequal treatment.

you might mean article 8, human rights, but the HO can say there is nothing to stop her living back in the phils

[Peanutz]

you can't be worse than my wife

Hahahah!

[joebloggs]

[QUOTE=joebloggs;202753]

you might mean article 8, human rights, but the HO can say there is nothing to stop her living back in the phils

but that dont matter now. allyn has ilr

[Peanutz]

[QUOTE=joebloggs;202753]

you might mean article 8, human rights, but the HO can say there is nothing to stop her living back in the phils

I guess...but do you think this is morally acceptable? We all know why people from poor countries migrates in western countries...Do they actually look at the person as a human being that desires to have a better future?

I guess it's better to drop my political views here...as there is no win win situation when it comes in to this kind of topic.

[pennybarry]

my hubby want me to go back to the philippines for a atleast a year so he can paid off his debt and then when he is stable enough he is going to take me back here in uk...

i was speachless at first when i heard this...

didnt see it coming,,,,i thought we are going to move out, but all of a sudden im being ship back

he said i dont get along with his family, and i hate them, and its exhausting him...

i tried to change his mind that i can work and help him up, that everything will be solve coz there is two of us working but he said he cant afford to rent another flat with me until he is financially stable...

Cheer up! Think about yourself now!

dont know what to think, i cant really think what im going to do next...
i love my husband so much im scared to loose him...
but he already made up his mind that i should just stay in the philippines when i went there this coming april...

dont get me wrong i do understand him, i understand his decision but does he really need to get rid of me...am i really that a burden...??? i thought im helping him with our bills and whenever he needs financially,,,,but im not...

im going to loose my husband soon...
and i cant do anything about it....im going to be dump...
ouch

Hi Allyn, If I am in your shoes, I will dump him before he dump you.
Be strong because you can do it!
I don't know how long is your patience but we, as wife we must have limitations.
Tell him you need a cool off whilst he thinking about his plans. Leave him for a moment. I know someone who needs a friend to share in her flat, pm me. I have a friend at 52, single and can accommodate you. Less problem about the job if you can work at carehomes, as she can help you like what she did to other filipinos.

[Sim11UK]

alyn your latest news, is really worrying me now.
It seems to be one thing after another. Seems like you have no support from his useless family.

I would take pennybarry's advice, PM her.

[joebloggs]

alyn your latest news, is really worrying me now.
It seems to be one thing after another.

it's called living, your run of bad luck will not last for ever, one day and one step at a time Allyn


but if he wants out, get away and take penny advice, and move in with her friend, and see how things go

[KeithD]

Now I'm good at maths but sending you back doesn't add up!!

He's going to have to send you a few hundred each month to support you anyway, as you need to help support your family once you are back there as you will be a 'guest'.

And what if you get ill or have an accident? Will hubby be sending the £1000's to pay for the medical bills? Will he be travelling out to see his beautiful and loving wife for £1000's? I'd say the answer is NO to both questions.

Time you put the fear of God up him, and tell him you need to get divorced before you leave and you'll be taking half of everything and he can pay all the leagl bills.

[Ping]

Hello people, I talked to Allyn before after reading her previous post . She said shes the one who pay the rent of the house where they live.Her brother in-law and girlfriend also live there free of charge. Even the household things she,s the one who bought it and the food too.
She works as an administrative assistant in the hospital I think.the mother in law is a nurse and the father in law is a police officer.

But they acted and treated her like nothing. She earns money more than them, thats why their jealous.

[KeithD]

So if she's earning the money he must be

...and on that basis as previously mentioned he's trying to use a pathetic way to dump you. ........ignore that last one

[South-east boy]

If he's so short of money that he is saying that he needs to send her back, why on earth isn't his brother & his GF paying rent?! if they both did, then I can't see a reason for her hubby to need to send her back. Also if her hubby isn't paying rent or many bills, what is he doing with the money he earns? Also by sending her back, it now means that he will not have her income that pays the rent & bills. How will that help him?

[South-east boy]

Now I'm good at maths but sending you back doesn't add up!!

He's going to have to send you a few hundred each month to support you anyway, as you need to help support your family once you are back there as you will be a 'guest'.

And what if you get ill or have an accident? Will hubby be sending the £1000's to pay for the medical bills? Will he be travelling out to see his beautiful and loving wife for £1000's? I'd say the answer is NO to both questions.

Time you put the fear of God up him, and tell him you need to get divorced before you leave and you'll be taking half of everything and he can pay all the leagl bills.

To be honest, if he is planning on sending her back, I don't think he'll be sending any money to her for anything.

[KeithD]

Whatever happens, you have a lot of friends and support on here (he doesn't )

[IainBusby]

Hi Allyn,
From what I have read about your situation it's obvious to me that as Keith says, there is absolutely no advantage to be gained financially by you returning to the Philippines, especially as it appears that you are the real breadwinner in the family. That said, I can only assume that this is his spineless way of trying to get rid of you without going through a divorce.

If I were you I would get in touch with Penny, accept her offer of help and get the hell away from him ASAP. You have ILR, you have a job and in my opinion, you are showing far too much loyalty to a man who shows absolutely no loyalty to you. If Penny's friend can help you as an interim measure, I'm sure it won't take you long you find your own place and start a new life. You could have a bright future ahead of you if you didn't have him or his family dragging you down and making your life miserable all of the time.

Iain.

[pennybarry]

Hello people, I talked to Allyn before after reading her previous post . She said shes the one who pay the rent of the house where they live.Her brother in-law and girlfriend also live there free of charge. Even the household things she,s the one who bought it and the food too.
She works as an administrative assistant in the hospital I think.the mother in law is a nurse and the father in law is a police officer.

But they acted and treated her like nothing. She earns money more than them, thats why their jealous.

Yes, Allyn works in admin Ate Ping and I wish she's working at NHS hospital. I heard before that if you work at NHS, you can transfer to other branch(NHS) if needed.
My friend is in Edinburgh and I always used to apply as admin assistant at Edinburgh hospital but no luck because I'm bit far (45 miles). So Allyn is lucky

[triple5]

Whys everybody assuming that Allyn even wants to stay in the UK The way some people talk you'd think its the be all and end all and she has to stay here at all costs. If I remember rightly in a previous thread Allyn said her mum was really worried about her and wanted her to return home.

[Ping]

Hello people, again I just talked to Allyn an hour ago and tell her what to do. Don't be afraid, fight back and stands your ground firmly.

She told me that its all about her husbands college debt, that needs to be paid. Its Allyn who paid his driving lesson and when he passed and got a license she bought him a car and crashed it and then again bought another one.

Her in-laws were all racist. They don,t believed her that she got a degree in Phil. and they just think that she just bought it, somewhere. She can not work as an administrative assistant if she is not qualified.
You know what this people are idiot or stupid or what.They belittled her and jealous because she got a good job and earn more and most of all more highly educated than them.

[pennybarry]

Hello people, again I just talked to Allyn an hour ago and tell her what to do. Don't be afraid, fight back and stands your ground firmly.

She told me that its all about her husbands college debt, that needs to be paid. Its Allyn who paid his driving lesson and when he passed and got a license she bought him a car and crashed it and then again bought another one.

Her in-laws were all racist. They don,t believed her that she got a degree in Phil. and they just think that she just bought it, somewhere. She can not work as an administrative assistant if she is not qualified.
You know what this people are idiot or stupid or what.They belittled her and jealous because she got a good job and earn more and most of all more highly educated than them.

Yes, I agree they are bad people and Allyn is the most ever I met wife with long patience.
If they are in doubt about diploma and Transcript of Records, it's so easy to tract the records if you know what university she finished her course. So I think we know the real idiots here. ehehehehe

[South-east boy]

Hello people, again I just talked to Allyn an hour ago and tell her what to do. Don't be afraid, fight back and stands your ground firmly.

She told me that its all about her husbands college debt, that needs to be paid. Its Allyn who paid his driving lesson and when he passed and got a license she bought him a car and crashed it and then again bought another one.

Her in-laws were all racist. They don,t believed her that she got a degree in Phil. and they just think that she just bought it, somewhere. She can not work as an administrative assistant if she is not qualified.
You know what this people are idiot or stupid or what.They belittled her and jealous because she got a good job and earn more and most of all more highly educated than them.

How is she now? It's good that she has someone to talk to about it.

I still don't get how him sending her back will help him, especially if she is bringing in the most and helping the most. It doesn't make sense. Also with paying back his studying fees, the amount you have to pay each month and the interest on it, is very small. I wonder if he has made something up about this to sound if it worse than it actually is so he can use it as an excuse?

[aromulus]

Ok, as far as I gather this is where it stands....

If Allyn is the person that is paying rent and her name is on the rental agreement, then she is entitled to evict anybody from the house.
Or call the police for help in doing so.

On the other hand she could just move away somewhere else, and continue working and for once, save the money for real important things, like her own life.... And not the lowlife she unfortunately had the misfortune to meet, fall in love and marry...

It seems that the whole family has ganged up on her, and she is beyond the point of ignoring what's going on.

It is about time that she gets rid of that bunch of ignorant idiots.

The ILR has been obtained, so she is free to move and go anywhere in the UK without restrictions.

[LEAHnew]

Hi Allyn be strong...fight for ur right

[aromulus]

How is she now? It's good that she has someone to talk to about it.

I still don't get how him sending her back will help him, especially if she is bringing in the most and helping the most. It doesn't make sense. Also with paying back his studying fees, the amount you have to pay each month and the interest on it, is very small. I wonder if he has made something up about this to sound if it worse than it actually is so he can use it as an excuse?

It looks like as if the slime ball doesn't want to play hubby anymore, and wants a return to the old days of being single and free of ties.

Any body with a gram of brain matter, would recognise the huge financial contribution and personal sacrifice, Allyn is bringing into the relationship, so the guys had to invent some silly excuse to get rid of her.
Obviously egged on by the just as useless rest of the family.

If that is what he wants, I suggest she either evicts them all, or move elsewhere and start a new life.

[allyn]

ello every one....

im so amaze and overwhelmed with all your opinion and help...
im so thankful and i appreciate in all your advice and for trying to help me...

@ ate ping
thanks for your call earlier, cant stop my self laughing every time i talk to you...
thanks for your advice, so thankful for your call and support...
just a minor correction ate, im only an admin assistant in a NHS clinic not hospital (sorry for the misinformation)

@ ate penny
thanks for the offer, ill keep that in mind,,,im very thankful for your advice and help...

to all...
im so over whelmed with all your reply, advice and your help...you didn't know how thankful iam that i have friends here who support me and give me advice

here is my update to my thread...


I have my ILR,
I got a permanent job here,
and im looking for a flat right now...
im already going to lose my husband and if i go back to the philippines like my husband want me to it will also mean i will also lose my job,,,and ill start from nothing again...

i do understand my husband for his decision, it does hurt alot,,,a mean alot,,i feel like the whole world just crush down on me (does it sound dramatic or what) but what else can i do.... just move on...
He is pressured with all the debt that he have, and i know my moan and situation about his family doesnt help him ,,,and made him decided to just let me go...

he still tell me he love me but its the only way he can pay off his debt...
i understand him and ill support his decision but some how i think i have to oppose to one of his decision of just making me stay in the philippine when i go back there in april because i need to look after my self and i got my permanent job here...

i have tried to put my self together and calm my self, the only thing now that still hurt me is that the reallity that im going to lose my husband soon...

please dont hate my husband, he is a very nice and friendly guy,,,but some how with all this problem he need to have his space to figure things out. to solve thing out....and even tho it hurt alot i have to let him go...

and i think i have to look after my self this time...(like my mum said to me, i look after other people but i cant seemed to look after my self, and by the time every one already decided to have their own way im left with nothing)

thanks guy for all your post....

[triple5]

Allyn, debt doesn't have to be that much of a burden. If he really does have a lot of debt then he can make an offer to his creditors to pay the bare minimum every month. I know it doesnt make the debt go away, but it at least makes things easier for the time being on a month to month to basis. For instance, if he even owed as much as 20k he get away with paying £100 a month. I'm sure he could handle that.

If he wants to use the debt as an excuse/reason tell him to contact these http://www.harringtonbrooks.co.uk/ and they will help him manage his debt and get the creditors off his back.

[Fitzy]

Hi Allyn, If I am in your shoes, I will dump him before he dump you.
Be strong because you can do it!
I don't know how long is your patience but we, as wife we must have limitations.
Tell him you need a cool off whilst he thinking about his plans. Leave him for a moment. I know someone who needs a friend to share in her flat, pm me. I have a friend at 52, single and can accommodate you. Less problem about the job if you can work at carehomes, as she can help you like what she did to other filipinos.

Hear hear!!

Leave him. Start over

[allyn]

Allyn, debt doesn't have to be that much of a burden. If he really does have a lot of debt then he can make an offer to his creditors to pay the bare minimum every month. I know it doesnt make the debt go away, but it at least makes things easier for the time being on a month to month to basis. For instance, if he even owed as much as 20k he get away with paying £100 a month. I'm sure he could handle that.

If he wants to use the debt as an excuse/reason tell him to contact these http://www.harringtonbrooks.co.uk/ and they will help him manage his debt and get the creditors off his back.

thanks,,,ill try to mention it to him..
thanks