A Surreal Future Awaits - a bit of stress

[South-east boy]

I don't blame you for thinking this as with the stores that we hear, it's only natural to wonder if a similar thing is starting to happen. With Suzie the girl that I was in contact with, she had mentioned things like he had bad wisdom toothache, but couldn't afford to get it looked at, she needed a fancy dress for her works Xmas do, but couldn't afford a new one and that they had money worries after her Dad had died. Like you, I wasn't sure if she was hinting at me sending money or not, but after what I have read hear and many other places, I wasn't going to send her money before seeing her.

I did however send her & her family a large parcel for Xmas & her Birthday in December which did cost me a lot. Then after Xmas she went quiet and it eventually turned out that a Danish guy had gone to see her, stayed with her and she said that she is in love with him, has found the love of her life and will be getting married soon! So all the thought, effort and money (about £420 with the courier, customs & VAT and item value-I had no idea that I had sent so much or that the courier, customs & VAT would be so much) was completely wasted and I was left quite hurt.

Just because you didn't meet on a dating site, does not mean that she hasn't been on them or that she isn't thinking like some Filipinos that all people in the west are loaded as we earn so much more. Yes, we earn lots more, but the cost of living is a lot higher too.

If I was you, I'd let things run, see what she says, be cautious, don't send any money until after you see her and see that she is genuine/the right girl for you. Some guys on hear have offered money to their girl and they have refused to accept any, even though they might really need it. That's when you know that she is not after your money and the type of girl that you want. She might never ask and you could be worrying over nothing as well of course.

If you wish to read them, these are my threads about sending the parcel: http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=20825 and when I was worrying when I hadn't heard from her & what happened: http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=21444 (sorry that that thread is very long!). After her being a bit quiet and reasons not to speak, with what happened to me, I'd be a bit worried, but of course it could all be genuine- it's one of the problems/worries with LDR's!

[joebloggs]

I did however send her & her family a large parcel for Xmas & her Birthday in December which did cost me a lot. Then after Xmas she went quiet and it eventually turned out that a Danish guy had gone to see her, stayed with her and she said that she is in love with him, has found the love of her life and will be getting married soon! So all the thought, effort and money (about £420 with the courier, customs & VAT and item value) was completely wasted and I was left quite hurt.

Some guts on hear have offered money to their girl and they have refused to accept any, even though they might really need it. That's when you know that she is not after your money and the type of girl that you want.

the Danish guy went to see her and south-east boy you didn't when you start a relationship you really have to go and see them asap, i was lucky, my misses told me if i didn't come by such a date dont come at all, dates pasted a few times and warnings if i didnt come dont come at all, and for what ever reason i couldn't/didn't go ( i went to see her nearly 2yrs after first chatting to her ).. delays and distance will only cause problems, so go and see her asap. that way you have a better idea where you both stand

i'm one of them guys who offered my misses alot of money without ever meeting her first (enough to pay her uni fees at medical school for a yr) she wouldn't take it, but after realising she would have to drop out of uni for a yr, she accepted the money, but then i got a letter off her mom telling me kindly to and she would get her thru uni at any cost, anyway it took me weeks to persuade her mom to take the money from me, but true things were never easy,she had to stay in the phils 2yrs after we married until she finished med school. but hey married 7yrs and still together

[South-east boy]

the Danish guy went to see her and south-east boy you didn't when you start a relationship you really have to go and see them asap, i was lucky, my misses told me if i didn't come by such a date dont come at all, dates pasted a few times and warnings if i didnt come dont come at all, and for what ever reason i couldn't/didn't go ( i went to see her nearly 2yrs after first chatting to her ).. delays and distance will only cause problems, so go and see her asap. that way you have a better idea where you both stand

As I have said before, she never asked, she was sometimes busy so couldn't send emails or be on the phone etc, she said that she wasn't on dating sites, never said that she was desperate to get married and I never lied to her about my financial situation, so I thought that she was ok with how things were. How was I to know? I also thought I'd need to stay in a hotel, so would need even more money, so I thought that the trip was even further away. The Danish guy stayed with her and her family. If she had given me the time that your lady did I would have seen her if things were going well between us (I was planning to this year), but she only gave me a few months before she went for the Danish stranger. She also never said to me when I said about the presents and asked for make-up "don't spend it on presents, spend it on coming to see me". If she had said these things and also found more time to contact me (it's a bit hard when you send emails and texts, but don't get many replies), then I could have done it and felt more inclined to, although money would have been tight. You hear of lots of couples however busy they are making time so they can chat by going to bed later or earlier etc and I just didn't get a strong enough feeling from her to make me see her. I'm not going to fly half way around the world and spend that money unless they feel strong enough for me and I with them.

If it was true and that she hadn't seen or had contact with the Danish guy beforehand, then this is the 2nd time that she has/is getting engaged at the first time of meeting someone that she has had no prior contact with. How can you know a prior total stranger well enough to get married after just a few fays of seeing them? Anyone can easily put on a false front for a few days, you need time to really know each other-some time in person, but also by email and phone as if they are genuine, you do get to know someone that way too.