A Surreal Future Awaits - a bit of stress

[HopeUK]

Thanks for your thoughts on the matter friends!

My main worry is just feeling bad in the face of what in all likelihood does feel like a genuine situation - I expect later down the line I'd be thanking my conscience for being cautious if it does all go t%ts up, but for the moment I'm going with something like your line on this I think SouthEastBoy. Wait and see. I take your point that Facebook isn't "immune" or that she doesn't have a possible impression of westerners as more wealthy, but she is aware that it has been a fiscal stretch for me to visit her, so she must surely be at least slightly aware that I'm likely not loaded (and also perhaps sees that my heart is therefore genuine, and seeking the "real thing" - I've told her already that I'm not after a "disrespectful holiday fling" - none of this aspect could have been made clearer to her).

Joe, point taken on visiting ASAP. I felt like this when we stated a mutual interest in getting together - I fully expected it to be more like October 2010 or even April 2011 before we could make it happen but I made every effort to make it as early as I could, and I'm going on first week of April - as sure a sign of intent and genuine commitment from me towards the friendship as I could muster, beyond mere words (more advice from the forum which I took to heart, about cultural matters of talk being considered cheap and Filipino's appreciating actions to back words up). I have to take her word for it, but when we were discussing our relationship status in a past email she told me that she had been "boyfriend"-less for three years to date and that she was waiting for the right person. She is also aware from my words that she is the only woman I am courting (this is true, incidentally). As I say, the plan is to get together with her to provide a way for us both to prove our relationship in what I like to call the "real world".

For me here, today, it's all about me trying to be comfortable with my own stance in the face of questions, which she maybe can't provide a good enough answer to without body language and eye contact to back it up. She shouldn't have any doubts as to my own integrity - I've expressed both undying respect and a willingness to meet her parents.

I reiterate again that she hasn't actually asked for anything - it's just me "seeing" a perceived implication, and she hasn't had a "shopping list" of things she would like in any past conversation either.

[joebloggs]

I reiterate again that she hasn't actually asked for anything - it's just me "seeing" a perceived implication, and she hasn't had a "shopping list" of things she would like in any past conversation either.

maybe she's waiting to see if you offer to help ?

i'm just warning you, not to make the mistakes i made, thinking she will wait forever for you to come and see her she may well think you're never going to come and see her, and so she'll move on to the next guy, who does go and see her..

south east boy, but you spent £400+ sending her stuff, you could have bought an air-ticket for nearly that.. but many of us have done the same

yes most are not scammers, but money is a problem to many Filipinos, and she could be telling the truth about the elits and her parents finances, so she could tell a white lie to get money from you to help her parents, or even be pressured by them to see if she can get money from you, but you know i would give her the benefit of the doubt unless you have evidence of her scamming..

i could have accused my misses many times thru the years , but each time i gave her the benefit of the doubt and said nothing, and as far as i can tell, she always told the truth.

[South-east boy]

south east boy, but you spent £400+ sending her stuff, you could have bought an air-ticket for nearly that.. but many of us have done the same

Oh yes, I know, I even said that to her and it's what I find so frustrating. As I bought the bits now and again, I didn't notice how much I had spent until I had to add up the value for the courier company/customs/VAT people, the courier came to more than I thought and I didn't know about the customs/VAT charge of £82 which I had to pay as Suzie couldn't. I think I must have spent over £600 on her what with phonecards, text loads, extra mobile phone etc, etc. She did ok as she got a guy and all the gifts from me, where I ended with nothing and the thought that all the effort/the thought etc seemed to mean nothing to her.

[joebloggs]

hey don't blame yourself it's easily done, I've sent my misses alot more than that b4 i met her

as for the vat/customs last jan we sent 2 large boxes to the phils, and didn't get asked to pay vat/custom


there are many decent beautiful filipinas out there, I've met many of them, you just need to find one of your own

don't give up