but she's cost me so much that I now can't afford to fly out for the graduation.
It's been money that I could afford
Same as Arthur, don't really like to ask, but it seems you have some issues there with what you're paying out. You know you can pull the plug at any time, whether you can afford it or not.

Apologies to HopeUK, hope it doesn't seem like your thread's getting derailed here.