Hey Sim11, thank you for worrying about my hair mate.. it's all quite intact (runs strong in the family you know..).. a little silver here and there, but that's pretty normal too I assure you. Cheers too to Sars for your words.. It seemed appropriate to grab the bull by the horns where meeting in the flesh is concerned – as you say so much can remain unquantifiable without that personal touch – and at a natural point (scam or not) the chit-chat did reach a nexus. In the end it’s also the only true way to get a peek at the end of the rainbow, isn’t it?!
Just as faith was being tested, she dropped me her addresses for Manila and Lagazpi yesterday - ASIS (Assuming She Isn't Scamming - I decided to create an acronym just for this post). I’d suggested in a past email that being able to write a real letter to her would be a wonderful way to nearly touch for real. Ironically, it was a missing piece I was mulling over yesterday, as it happens. Cheers for the phone tip too - I usually call her through "Planet Numbers" or "Just Call" depending upon who's working best at the time..
Okay, whilst enjoying a particularly relaxing bath last night I tried to take all points in this whole situation and bring them together into a plan, which involves me both helping her and not helping her at the same time - affording me the chance to offer a genuine friend help in her hour of need whilst simultaneously keeping a possible scam at arm’s length. In view of her ‘difficulties’ I looked to the British Council site for information on the IELT exams, timetables and costs and have offered a cautious olive branch - I have suggested that as the timing of the exam is compromised by her "situation" anyway, that she should see it as a fateful opportunity rather than a nightmare. She has me visiting her in a few weeks time, so if it isn’t crucial that she passes BY March, why not delay the exam and avail herself of both the opportunity for further study, and a chance to learn from a real Englishman, possibly gaining extra valuable experience in use and pronunciation to nudge her score up a point or two? I admitted in my last email, which was basically one of moral support, that I couldn't help her right now (true) but in the interest of moving the whole problem forwards (thereby avoiding hair loss, Sim) I have since proposed that I may be able to “assist” her in a couple of months, ie. by April, ostensibly when we get together (also true) - not "pay for it in full", even though I will in all probability be able to - another possible sweetener to the olive branch which I could consider granting to her as a nice surprise if all IS beyond doubt and above board, family intervention notwithstanding (read on for this bit!). I figured by saying “assist” this would serve multiple strands of argument; as a genuine statement to the effect that I am not a bottomless well of money to be plundered/dipped into, whilst also helping keep her Filipina pride intact and give her a real chance (ASIS).
Like many who have been here before me, I'm trying to find a 'fine' balance in response to a difficult situation, where the honest Filipinas are trapped and the scammers walk - where the most successful place to pull a scam seems to be that grey area, where the honest situation and a downright bare-faced lie can become blurred, and consequently difficult or impossible to distil – in turn, the place where keen sense and faith play their part. Again, like most of us, it is with best intentions, and some of that faith, that I choose to do all this and it should grant me valuable time and real face to face experience to help better ascertain her motives, whilst at the same time appearing minimally mistrusting and non-aggressive toward her, should she be in genuine need of help in a bad time - something which to be fair a lot of Filipino's have experience of.
She has since replied overnight, with understandable happiness and gratitude (a possible scam alert I know, I’m not looking with tinted specs), but on balance she has quoted all facts as they are presented (the costs, exam details and her expected pass requirements) and is happy for me to “assist” - she didn’t say “pay for”, as a possible prompt. She has said that she can’t ask her friends as they too are on tight budgets (could go both ways in the argument but at least from her friends’ sides I would imagine this is likely), but I anticipate the possibility of having her parents at least attempt to meet me half way - my next suggestion. She is their daughter after all - and the outcome of this line will have its share of balances and judgments to be made too.
Being something of a Buddhist and looking at the overall pitfalls and potential promise, as well as the numerous accounts of both joy and woe (to quote a previous posted reply in here) I would consider £115 to be a relatively small price to pay (some accounts of HEAVY losses in this forum!) for the possibility of what so many of you can testify to as being one of the best things to ever happen. In all likelihood I have some karma to pay back anyhow. Maybe now is simply the nexus at which I cough up. I hope this goes some way to satisfying both supporters and detractors in my ongoing adventure.
