Hi Peeps!
Everyone seems to be under the impression that she has literally said 'give me money!!'. She texted me with her situation but didn't explicity ask for anything - merely stated that "she was sad because.." and didn't know what to do or where to turn. In response I have chosen to give a helping hand to a potential girlfriend. I know (and others have told me) that it also sounds like an implicit or empathetic attempt to provoke the knee-jerk response "That's okay, I'll give you what you need!" - I grant that is quite possibly the case, but I don't know that for sure yet. I can assure all those concerned that I am entering this situation with an open mind and (more importantly to me personally) an open heart - I don't feel like I'm being condemned to an endless and inescapable financial drain by this venture. If it were to get out of hand, then yes that would be the end of the matter - lesson learned, case closed, move on. I think by not being afraid to invest some heart and soul in the situation it would truly prove her to be an immoral person not worthy of attention if that 'invested emotion' were betrayed for a quick 8000PHP, and consequently I would have no problems emotionally separating myself from her. At this point I'm not giving anything 'real' away except for my advice, moral support and understanding. I have offered the possibility of "assistance", giving us a way forwards (in all fairness what kind of an impression would it make to say a straight "no" to a potential girlfriend if this is genuine? that would bring the issue to a dead stop without anything learned or understood on either side). I have also enquired as to what her parent's financial problems actually are and have suggested a joint effort, should their sense of "amor proprio" given them cause for embarrassment.
For all the scam situations out there I'm sure many people will testify to their having experienced genuine situations as well, where they have helped their friends and loved ones in time of need. I was under the impression that helpfulness, politeness and cooperation were even considered valuable character traits within Filipino culture? There's nothing wrong with being on guard but I also cannot see any reason to blindly assume the worst without some measure of reason when nothing has explicity "changed hands". Or am I wrong? To my mind, automatic assumptions without all the facts is in itself immoral, and something of a slippery slope in many ways. The simple facts of this friendship/romance are of a man and a woman who have met on the net, invested enough conversation to make a connection, and after her acceptance of my request of right to court her, have forged a plan to get together to see if there is more.