A Surreal Future Awaits - a bit of stress

[complex]

Hi Gavin, thanks for taking the time to re-live the experience, I can only hope it will be something you laugh about in the future when you look back and think you went half way around the world and back in such a short time, an epic experience.
Sorry how its panned out, sounded so promising when I started reading, I can imagine having the same reaction as you did when you received her call, numbing for sure, we would all feel the same. I wouldn't begin to guess at her reasons as like you and everyone else have said it just doesn't make sense, aunt from Chicago just doesn't ring true to me.
I wish you had said you would go with her to collect her belongings, wonder what her reaction would have been. Maybe like its been suggested she just doesn't know her own mind and is immature and unable to cope with the situation. Only she knows.

You didn't say if the guy waiving at the airport was a friend that had accompanied her?

Not much else I can say really thats not been said already, seems you have coped rather well considering.
To travel the distance you did for a lady is a big deal (as I often remind my wife :-) the way that girl treated you is beyond words, i hope you can start planning your Japan trip and just forget about this saga.

[complex]

Hi Gavin, thanks for taking the time to re-live the experience, I can only hope it will be something you laugh about in the future when you look back and think you went half way around the world and back in such a short time, an epic experience.
Sorry how its panned out, sounded so promising when I started reading, I can imagine having the same reaction as you did when you received her call, numbing for sure, we would all feel the same. I wouldn't begin to guess at her reasons as like you and everyone else have said it just doesn't make sense, aunt from Chicago just doesn't ring true to me.
I wish you had said you would go with her to collect her belongings, wonder what her reaction would have been. Maybe like its been suggested she just doesn't know her own mind and is immature and unable to cope with the situation. Only she knows.

You didn't say if the guy waiving at the airport was a friend that had accompanied her?

Not much else I can say really thats not been said already, seems you have coped rather well considering.
To travel the distance you did for a lady is a big deal (as I often remind my wife :-) the way that girl treated you is beyond words, i hope you can start planning your Japan trip and just forget about this saga.

[HopeUK]

Hey Complex, thanks for the thoughts, and I can already laugh about it my friend - it's all so preposterous. The guy with her was the taxi driver, but he could have been her husband or the aunt from Chicago for all I know!

It did occur to me to go with her when she went to pick up her stuff - I did want to meet her brother and sister after all, but I'd had my fill of travelling and at that point I trusted her.. she'd met me at the airport safe and sound after all. I get your reasoning though. As I said to my mom in an email this morning all I can do now is look forward and leave her to whatever future she's committed herself to. I did send her one last email before I severed contact. It read:


Hi Blossom,

Just thought to let you know I'm back on home ground. Shame we should have been having a blast but hey, your call sweets.

Cryin' shame really - it all could have been soo good.. you have no idea of the future we both lost :_(

Ingat ka palagi,

Gav x


As I say, a real shame.. but I have gained a lot from it all. There are many "firsts" for me.. It was my first trip to Schiphol airport (I LOVE it), I have experienced my first long-haul flight (so I know what to expect on the trip to Japan), I have confidence in dealing with airports and what to typically expect, and I can't imagine any holiday will ever be so short again, nor can I imagine a more bizarre outcome to any future LDR! For everyone here who has had success in finding their equal and opposite I applaud your efforts and stoicism, and hey maybe there's a beautiful Japanese woman out there who has been waiting all this time for me to evolve my travelling confidence, and who is mature enough to snap me up when we DO meet.. Even in the face of my recent experience, given that asian ladies are to me the most beautiful women on the planet, and therefore virtually irresistible, she shouldn't have too hard a time on her hands.. hahaha!!

[Doc Alan]

I did send her one last email before I severed contact. It read:


Hi Blossom,

Just thought to let you know I'm back on home ground. Shame we should have been having a blast but hey, your call sweets.

Cryin' shame really - it all could have been soo good.. you have no idea of the future we both lost :_(

Ingat ka palagi,

Gav x

Thanks again for updating us Gavin. Your response is a model of restraint! I'm sure you were tempted to write more and who would have blamed you !
Guess your mother would have had lots of advice for you but all of us who have kids (no matter what age) can only support and always be there for them - we can't control them ! Just a word of advice from me - don't tell her you're off to Japan just yet !

[triple5]

You're a top man, Gavin Most people who had just gone through what you have would feel crushed and fell like burying their head in the sand, but you seem to have taken it on the chin and ready to move on. I always find in moments like that something good comes out of it. Seems like you made 2 good friends at the end of it and that will no doubt take you on another journey.

[HopeUK]

Alan, thanks for your words again mate.. For a few seconds quite a few words crossed my mind but when I thought about the fact that what I was about to say would likely be my parting words to her I realised (to my moderate surprise at the time) that a part of me still did feel a love for her, and I couldn't bring myself to say anything except what I truly felt. I have to say my mom and I have developed a very equal and respectful relationship over the last twenty years or so, and she has been nothing but supportive and understanding in all of this. I think she's been more upset about this than I have to be honest, but she's an understanding person and I think she realises the true value of experience - in that respect I would say she's quite unusual for a mother! haha! With that in mind I think she'll understand when I throw myself eastwards once more.. I don't think she'd have it any other way.

Triple5, thanks man - Honestly!?? I did feel like curling up and screaming, but in the end it would only have given me a headache and upset the neighbours, and wouldn't have changed the circumstances one iota. All I could do was see the good in it. As for my friends, well it was an extreme way of finally meeting someone about fifty miles away from home but it was all worth it I think, in spite of the outcome. I also can't help but notice the beautiful symmetry in having Facebook be the architect of both my downfall and resurrection.

[Notavirusalso]

Welcome home Gavin,
Glad to hear that you made it back safely, Dont worry about the finding the right girl at 38 as im 46 and have just found the right woman for me and married her last December.
Although your stay in the Philippines was so very short I wish we could of had time to invite you to stay with my wife if only for a few days to give you time to think it though before flying back, You would of found it an amazing place, Everyone I meet there is friendly and at 50php lang for a hair cut (sulit) you cant go wrong, I would have one everyday if i had more hair.
Anyway mate I love your onwards and upwards attitude..stiff upper lip not a quivering bottom one.
Some one as nice as you seem will recive your just deserts.
Peace.

[Florge]

sorry to hear about your ordeal.. we were concerned really if she picked you up at the airport after the lost communication... anyway, this is a blessing in disguise... she may have ended scamming you all the more if she pursued the relationship... maybe her conscience was bugging her and actually, she did the right thing... at last!

if i knew you were at manchester, we could have given you a warm, cozy shed, i mean bed (lol) to sleep in

[HopeUK]

Notavirusalso: Cheers friend! I suppose I don't really consider myself over the hill at 38 but I always worry about the passage of time when I think of time not spent loving.. haha, incurable romantic - It seems I'm always hoping for the best. I've been pleasantly surprised by the warm wishes and help offered. It also seems that if I had stayed a little longer the remaining 99% of the Philippines would have been there to help! lol!

Florge: Funnily enough it did cross my mind to wonder whether it had been a scam with a 'happy' ending.. I would say 'I will always wonder' but as has been pointed out, onwards and upwards.

[aromulus]

manchester,

[HopeUK]

Hi everyone,

I expect this will be the last post I plant on this matter but I thought people who have been following this with scepticism/interest/horror etc.. might be interested to know that life had one last little slash in an attempt to bleed me some more..

My girl sent one last email to me to let me know that she did in fact pass her IELT exam and to thank me for helping her to reach her happiness, that she had noticed that I had removed her account from my Facebook friends list but that she wouldn't forget me.. Bye.

You know it was probably just the way she worded it, but it made me feel as though the holiday fiasco had been a hard choice for her to make, made from the point of view of her 25 years of home life, and just maybe not a backhanded attempt to get out of the situation in a shock of reality.. Just maybe it may have worked with a little more patience on both of our parts.. Unlikely I know, but knowing life and its way of presenting irony at any opportunity, I have to wonder..

Overall, I have to say that was something of an unexpected email and a final bittersweet ending to the matter.

As Unlucky Alf would say.. "Oh, bugger"..