a very intresting surprice situation...didnt see it coming...

[allyn]

my hubby want me to go back to the philippines for a atleast a year so he can paid off his debt and then when he is stable enough he is going to take me back here in uk...

i was speachless at first when i heard this...

didnt see it coming,,,,i thought we are going to move out, but all of a sudden im being ship back

he said i dont get along with his family, and i hate them, and its exhausting him...

i tried to change his mind that i can work and help him up, that everything will be solve coz there is two of us working but he said he cant afford to rent another flat with me until he is financially stable...

dont know what to think, i cant really think what im going to do next...
i love my husband so much im scared to loose him...
but he already made up his mind that i should just stay in the philippines when i went there this coming april...

dont get me wrong i do understand him, i understand his decision but does he really need to get rid of me...am i really that a burden...??? i thought im helping him with our bills and whenever he needs financially,,,,but im not...

im going to loose my husband soon...
and i cant do anything about it....im going to be dump...
ouch

[KeithD]

.....dont get me wrong i do understand him, i understand his decision but does he really need to get rid of me.....

Nobody who is happily married sends their wife away!! A marriage if for two, through good times, bad times, and times with an idiot like me

If he's not going with you then he's not expecting to ever see you again.

[maria_and_matt]

Nobody who is happily married sends their wife away!! A marriage if for two, through good times, bad times, and times with an idiot like me

If he's not going with you then he's not expecting to ever see you again.

hahahahaha, i am sure you are lovely!

[maria_and_matt]

maybe he thinks he is doing the right thing, but for me i think that you should stay together, as you said you are willing to work to help him out with the debts. and if ever you go back home, dont think that he has dumped you, maybe he is just doing this to protect you. talk to him, tell him of your fears, let him understand. i hope that you can both stay together, in sickness and in health, in richer or for poorer, right? goodluck to you.

[allyn]

maybe he thinks he is doing the right thing, but for me i think that you should stay together, as you said you are willing to work to help him out with the debts. and if ever you go back home, dont think that he has dumped you, maybe he is just doing this to protect you. talk to him, tell him of your fears, let him understand. i hope that you can both stay together, in sickness and in health, in richer or for poorer, right? goodluck to you.

hello!!!
thanks for the reply to my post...
i understand , you have a point but i have tried to explain things to him but he have made up his mind...i understand my husband reason, i know he just want me to be in a safe place he know i can be..
i also told him im scared to loose him...
but he already made up his mind, he think its the only way...
but going back int he philippines means giving him up, and my job and starting from nothing again....

just dont know what to do next...

at the moment im just brasing my self on what going to happend tomoro or the next day...

[Fitzy]

hello!!!
thanks for the reply to my post...
i understand , you have a point but i have tried to explain things to him but he have made up his mind...i understand my husband reason, i know he just want me to be in a safe place he know i can be..
i also told him im scared to loose him...
but he already made up his mind, he think its the only way...
but going back int he philippines means giving him up, and my job and starting from nothing again....

just dont know what to do next...

at the moment im just brasing my self on what going to happend tomoro or the next day...

I know this is a very painful time for you here my dear.
DON'T let him send you back, because he does not have the right!!
Trust me on this!!
You say you are Married?
Sorry to ask, but how long have you been married??? Do you have your ILR?

Go ASAP to your Citizens Advice, and ask them to help you.

Don't let the **** dump you like an unwanted pet.

I have very powerful friends in Immigration, and trust me!! He can't do this to you.


PM me please ASAP.

I can ask them for advice if necessary?


Do not let him bully you.

Hearing this saddens me much, and angers me


God bless, and be strong.

[triple5]

agree with Keith, sounds like his cowardly way of finishing it and choosing his family over you. Thats how it sounds from what you've said here and in previous posts.

[allyn]

thanks guys for replying in my post...

at the moment im trying to put my self together and brace my self for tomorrow or the next day...

[joebloggs]

my hubby want me to go back to the philippines for a atleast a year so he can paid off his debt and then when he is stable enough he is going to take me back here in uk...


he said i dont get along with his family, and i hate them, and its exhausting him...

i tried to change his mind that i can work and help him up, that everything will be solve coz there is two of us working but he said he cant afford to rent another flat with me until he is financially stable...

get a job, you must be able to earn more in the uk than in the phils, so how sending you back to the phils going to save him money

how long have you been in the uk allyn ??

maybe the real reason is 'he said i dont get along with his family, and i hate them, and its exhausting him..'

i've got money problems, but my misses is not going anywhere, no way after everything we went thru over the last 10yrs

maybe he needs financial advice, lots of places he can get it, but i hope that's his real reason for wanting you to go back, and not because of his family..

[Fitzy]

get a job, you must be able to earn more in the uk than in the phils, so how sending you back to the phils going to save him money

how long have you been in the uk allyn ??

maybe the real reason is 'he said i dont get along with his family, and i hate them, and its exhausting him..'

i've got money problems, but my misses is not going anywhere, no way after everything we went thru over the last 10yrs

maybe he needs financial advice, lots of places he can get it, but i hope that's his real reason for wanting you to go back, and not because of his family..

I wonder if she has her ILR yet Joe??
Even if not, the ******** can't do this!!!!
I'll be talking to my BIA friends at work tomorrow when I start my shift!!
This should be interesting?
We don't understand her situation fully as yet, but it looks like a case of **** off, coz i don't want you anymore to me.
I have seen it all to often

[Steve.r]

This really saddens me too. When you love someone completely and get treated like this it makes me so mad. As Fitzy says, speak to the CAB as soon as possible, you cannot just be dumped because of his whim or that he loves his family more than you.......whatever next.

Stay strong Allyn, I am sure everyone here feels for you, dont let this guy put you on a plane home.

Steve

[joebloggs]

I wonder if she has her ILR yet Joe??
Even if not, the ******** can't do this!!!!
I'll be talking to my BIA friends at work tomorrow when I start my shift!!
This should be interesting?
We don't understand her situation fully as yet, but it looks like a case of **** off, coz i don't want you anymore to me.
I have seen it all to often

if she hasn't got ILR then he can do it, it's happened b4 to others, but i don't remember it happening to anyone on this forum

if he doesn't support and sign her ilr app then there is little or nothing she can do but leave b4 her visa expires.(unless shes a victim of domestic violence - from what allyn has said it's not)

[pennybarry]

my hubby want me to go back to the philippines for a atleast a year so he can paid off his debt and then when he is stable enough he is going to take me back here in uk...

i was speachless at first when i heard this...

didnt see it coming,,,,i thought we are going to move out, but all of a sudden im being ship back

he said i dont get along with his family, and i hate them, and its exhausting him...

i tried to change his mind that i can work and help him up, that everything will be solve coz there is two of us working but he said he cant afford to rent another flat with me until he is financially stable...

Cheer up! Think about yourself now!

dont know what to think, i cant really think what im going to do next...
i love my husband so much im scared to loose him...
but he already made up his mind that i should just stay in the philippines when i went there this coming april...

dont get me wrong i do understand him, i understand his decision but does he really need to get rid of me...am i really that a burden...??? i thought im helping him with our bills and whenever he needs financially,,,,but im not...

im going to loose my husband soon...
and i cant do anything about it....im going to be dump...
ouch

Hi Allyn, If I am in your shoes, I will dump him before he dump you.
Be strong because you can do it!
I don't know how long is your patience but we, as wife we must have limitations.
Tell him you need a cool off whilst he thinking about his plans. Leave him for a moment. I know someone who needs a friend to share in her flat, pm me. I have a friend at 52, single and can accommodate you. Less problem about the job if you can work at carehomes, as she can help you like what she did to other filipinos.

[Sim11UK]

alyn your latest news, is really worrying me now.
It seems to be one thing after another. Seems like you have no support from his useless family.

I would take pennybarry's advice, PM her.

[joebloggs]

alyn your latest news, is really worrying me now.
It seems to be one thing after another.

it's called living, your run of bad luck will not last for ever, one day and one step at a time Allyn


but if he wants out, get away and take penny advice, and move in with her friend, and see how things go

[Fitzy]

Hi Allyn, If I am in your shoes, I will dump him before he dump you.
Be strong because you can do it!
I don't know how long is your patience but we, as wife we must have limitations.
Tell him you need a cool off whilst he thinking about his plans. Leave him for a moment. I know someone who needs a friend to share in her flat, pm me. I have a friend at 52, single and can accommodate you. Less problem about the job if you can work at carehomes, as she can help you like what she did to other filipinos.

Hear hear!!

Leave him. Start over

[allyn]

Hear hear!!

Leave him. Start over

i guess i really need to soon.....

anywayz thanks

[Fitzy]

i guess i really need to soon.....

anywayz thanks

Sorry if i seem blunt dear, but you deserve better!

You're welcome.

[KeithD]

Now I'm good at maths but sending you back doesn't add up!!

He's going to have to send you a few hundred each month to support you anyway, as you need to help support your family once you are back there as you will be a 'guest'.

And what if you get ill or have an accident? Will hubby be sending the £1000's to pay for the medical bills? Will he be travelling out to see his beautiful and loving wife for £1000's? I'd say the answer is NO to both questions.

Time you put the fear of God up him, and tell him you need to get divorced before you leave and you'll be taking half of everything and he can pay all the leagl bills.

[South-east boy]

Now I'm good at maths but sending you back doesn't add up!!

He's going to have to send you a few hundred each month to support you anyway, as you need to help support your family once you are back there as you will be a 'guest'.

And what if you get ill or have an accident? Will hubby be sending the £1000's to pay for the medical bills? Will he be travelling out to see his beautiful and loving wife for £1000's? I'd say the answer is NO to both questions.

Time you put the fear of God up him, and tell him you need to get divorced before you leave and you'll be taking half of everything and he can pay all the leagl bills.

To be honest, if he is planning on sending her back, I don't think he'll be sending any money to her for anything.

[Ping]

Hello people, I talked to Allyn before after reading her previous post . She said shes the one who pay the rent of the house where they live.Her brother in-law and girlfriend also live there free of charge. Even the household things she,s the one who bought it and the food too.
She works as an administrative assistant in the hospital I think.the mother in law is a nurse and the father in law is a police officer.

But they acted and treated her like nothing. She earns money more than them, thats why their jealous.

[pennybarry]

Hello people, I talked to Allyn before after reading her previous post . She said shes the one who pay the rent of the house where they live.Her brother in-law and girlfriend also live there free of charge. Even the household things she,s the one who bought it and the food too.
She works as an administrative assistant in the hospital I think.the mother in law is a nurse and the father in law is a police officer.

But they acted and treated her like nothing. She earns money more than them, thats why their jealous.

Yes, Allyn works in admin Ate Ping and I wish she's working at NHS hospital. I heard before that if you work at NHS, you can transfer to other branch(NHS) if needed.
My friend is in Edinburgh and I always used to apply as admin assistant at Edinburgh hospital but no luck because I'm bit far (45 miles). So Allyn is lucky

[KeithD]

So if she's earning the money he must be

...and on that basis as previously mentioned he's trying to use a pathetic way to dump you. ........ignore that last one

[South-east boy]

If he's so short of money that he is saying that he needs to send her back, why on earth isn't his brother & his GF paying rent?! if they both did, then I can't see a reason for her hubby to need to send her back. Also if her hubby isn't paying rent or many bills, what is he doing with the money he earns? Also by sending her back, it now means that he will not have her income that pays the rent & bills. How will that help him?

[IainBusby]

Hi Allyn,
From what I have read about your situation it's obvious to me that as Keith says, there is absolutely no advantage to be gained financially by you returning to the Philippines, especially as it appears that you are the real breadwinner in the family. That said, I can only assume that this is his spineless way of trying to get rid of you without going through a divorce.

If I were you I would get in touch with Penny, accept her offer of help and get the hell away from him ASAP. You have ILR, you have a job and in my opinion, you are showing far too much loyalty to a man who shows absolutely no loyalty to you. If Penny's friend can help you as an interim measure, I'm sure it won't take you long you find your own place and start a new life. You could have a bright future ahead of you if you didn't have him or his family dragging you down and making your life miserable all of the time.

Iain.

[KeithD]

Whatever happens, you have a lot of friends and support on here (he doesn't )

[triple5]

Whys everybody assuming that Allyn even wants to stay in the UK The way some people talk you'd think its the be all and end all and she has to stay here at all costs. If I remember rightly in a previous thread Allyn said her mum was really worried about her and wanted her to return home.

[Ping]

Hello people, again I just talked to Allyn an hour ago and tell her what to do. Don't be afraid, fight back and stands your ground firmly.

She told me that its all about her husbands college debt, that needs to be paid. Its Allyn who paid his driving lesson and when he passed and got a license she bought him a car and crashed it and then again bought another one.

Her in-laws were all racist. They don,t believed her that she got a degree in Phil. and they just think that she just bought it, somewhere. She can not work as an administrative assistant if she is not qualified.
You know what this people are idiot or stupid or what.They belittled her and jealous because she got a good job and earn more and most of all more highly educated than them.

[pennybarry]

Hello people, again I just talked to Allyn an hour ago and tell her what to do. Don't be afraid, fight back and stands your ground firmly.

She told me that its all about her husbands college debt, that needs to be paid. Its Allyn who paid his driving lesson and when he passed and got a license she bought him a car and crashed it and then again bought another one.

Her in-laws were all racist. They don,t believed her that she got a degree in Phil. and they just think that she just bought it, somewhere. She can not work as an administrative assistant if she is not qualified.
You know what this people are idiot or stupid or what.They belittled her and jealous because she got a good job and earn more and most of all more highly educated than them.

Yes, I agree they are bad people and Allyn is the most ever I met wife with long patience.
If they are in doubt about diploma and Transcript of Records, it's so easy to tract the records if you know what university she finished her course. So I think we know the real idiots here. ehehehehe

[aromulus]

Ok, as far as I gather this is where it stands....

If Allyn is the person that is paying rent and her name is on the rental agreement, then she is entitled to evict anybody from the house.
Or call the police for help in doing so.

On the other hand she could just move away somewhere else, and continue working and for once, save the money for real important things, like her own life.... And not the lowlife she unfortunately had the misfortune to meet, fall in love and marry...

It seems that the whole family has ganged up on her, and she is beyond the point of ignoring what's going on.

It is about time that she gets rid of that bunch of ignorant idiots.

The ILR has been obtained, so she is free to move and go anywhere in the UK without restrictions.