Are all Pinay's jealous and insecure???

[Fitzy]

I don't mean to offend, but the GF I have in the Phils is killing off our relationship, continually interrogating me, and pestering me for my passwords to YM etc....!!
I decided to try Rebtel the other day as a new cheap VOIP provider, tho we use Skype mostly, and I got accused of changing my SIM Card
I didn't BTW.

This is really getting me stressed out.
All I have time for here in the UK is work work work and more hard work to fund my trips to see her.
Am going back on Aprl the 13th BTW.


Any comments welcomed.

[belfast_dude]

share and share dude..u r one now..not two

[Steve.r]

I don't mean to offend, but the GF I have in the Phils is killing off our relationship, continually interrogating me, and pestering me for my passwords to YM etc....!!
I decided to try Rebtel the other day as a new cheap VOIP provider, tho we use Skype mostly, and I got accused of changing my SIM Card
I didn't BTW.

This is really getting me stressed out.
All I have time for here in the UK is work work work and more hard work to fund my trips to see her.
Am going back on Aprl the 13th BTW.


Any comments welcomed.

Hi Phil,

She sounds very inscure to me. I know you may love your girl Phil, but do you really need the hassle. There are so many lovely girls out there who will treat you with the respect you give them. I certainly would not put up with childish behaviour any more. Ultamatum time imo.

Steve

[raynaputi]

well jealousy is a common thing especially if ur having a long distance relationship. but not all Pinays are like that..just ask her what's causing her to be jealous that much. all a girl needs is an assurance of the love u have for her..most of the time if she feels she's being ignored, crazy thoughts comes thru her mind. just talk to her and make her feel more the love u have for her. but if in any case she's still overly jealous and insecure after u've done all ur part of assuring her and doing all ur best to prove to her ur doing nothing to complicate ur situation more, then time to think if u two are on the right path..these are just my opinion anyway.

[keithAngel]

Not all Fitz but with British understatement there may be a small tendency in this direction

[Fitzy]

Thanks everybody.

In general answer to all your comments, I do the best I can to reassure her.
everyday contact, without exception in Skype/Webcam
Two very recent visits, but there you go, that's life I guess
I did actually share my past bad experiences with her in conversation.
Big mistake
There have been some very cruel comments, I must say!
If there ever is another, and I hope not, I will be very quiet indeed about my past.
I obviously talk to much

Still! I am always optimistic for the future of course.

One door opens, another slams back in your face

Just kidding of course.

I'll let her alone for a couple of days

[Steve.r]

I'll let her alone for a couple of days

That may well make things worse Phil, but, you know her better than us. She might think that you are 'off with another' if she is paranoid. Maybe I am not the best person to give advice, but I have a new outlook on life now. I tell it like it is now. I choose to be honest with my feelings and if people dont like it, it's tough. She stands to loose you if she carries on like that, she probably does not want this, but she needs to know. Tell her straight, save yourself the heartache. It can go 2 ways only.

[Fitzy]

That may well make things worse Phil, but, you know her better than us. She might think that you are 'off with another' if she is paranoid. Maybe I am not the best person to give advice, but I have a new outlook on life now. I tell it like it is now. I choose to be honest with my feelings and if people dont like it, it's tough. She stands to loose you if she carries on like that, she probably does not want this, but she needs to know. Tell her straight, save yourself the heartache. It can go 2 ways only.

Hmmm
I think you're right there steve.
It all started when I had to go away to work for a weekend!!
I have told her exactly what you advised me, but one minute she is all nice and lovey dovey, then next comes the horrible comments

I can always fix my self up with a new one for next month I guess. Plenty more fish in the sea, as my dear departed Mum used to tell me

Whatever happens, I intend to buy a house there in the very near future, ready for my retirement 10 years from now.
Cheap living, nice weather, etc......
So, alone or with someone makes little difference at this point, as I have no family to speak of here.

Wierdly enough, I'm in pretty high spirits right now!

[raynaputi]

I agree with steve..letting her alone would only make the situation more complicated since ur kinda accepting the fact that she's being paranoid or insecure about something that isn't true. i think it's better to be straight forward with her. be honest of what you're feeling about your current situation. it would make her suspect more if u just let it pass by (i'm telling u based on experience...but every person is different anyway).

[Steve.r]

Hmmm
I think you're right there steve.
It all started when I had to go away to work for a weekend!!
I have told her exactly what you advised me, but one minute she is all nice and lovey dovey, then next comes the horrible comments

I can always fix my self up with a new one for next month I guess. Plenty of fish in the sae as my dear departed Mum used to tell me

I hope it all works out for you buddy. Just think on this last gem. Relationships are made on the foundations of trust. If she is having doubts now, if you were to marry her, how would she cope with all the attention you would get if you were to live there?
I had an ex here in the uk who would go mental if I even glanced at another woman. Needles to say, it didn't last long.
As for fish in the sea, yep.....loads..... and some are worth catching. ...........some you have to throw back

[raynaputi]

I hope it all works out for you buddy. Just think on this last gem. Relationships are made on the foundations of trust. If she is having doubts now, if you were to marry her, how would she cope with all the attention you would get if you were to live there?
I had an ex here in the uk who would go mental if I even glanced at another woman. Needles to say, it didn't last long.
As for fish in the sea, yep.....loads..... and some are worth catching. ...........some you have to throw back

hahaha..i remember a friend of mind..his gf asked for his email, facebook, yahoo passwords, etc. and the guy just gave it away (since he said he has nothing to hide)..now i'm deleted from his friends list since i get to talk to him often and the girl thought i would take him away from her..hahaha..i told him i wouldn't be surprised if next time he has no more girl friends..LOL!

[Sim11UK]

From my experience, I can only say no.
We've not had any jealousy issues, or nastiness, in that area.

Best to be open and honest though, at all times.

In your position, I would feel a little uncomfortable?

[Fitzy]

All very nice answers. Thank you all
I'm sure she'll be fine.
When I'm with her we seem to be ok, but have our moments

[RickyR]

In my case, I can say YES.

[sars_notd_virus]

Attention Deficit Disorder (that's me and my husbands term for jealousy)
All of us has a little insecurities in ourselves, becoz nobody is perfect in this not so perfect world Am sure u will sort things out the moment u r together...

[triple5]

tbh I think its quite common, only had the odd comment off my gf, usually out of jest mind. But I have been in a relationship where the questioning was a tad overbearing. And you're right its just insecurity.

There's only so many times you can reassure a person before it gets annoying. Be a shame though, coz you were really positive about things last time i read a thread of yours. Maybe some face to face chats will put her mind at ease when you see her next.

[bornatbirth]

my wife was the same, because of a past relationship it was made worst.

i know it can be annoying but try to be pateint with her.

what ever i did or where i went, i would get a grilling

i use to tell my, why do you think im online all this time, when i come and see you..you have my mobile and all my money(i let her look after paying for everything), i get hurt when you do this because it means you dont trust me and just try to reassure her and never tell her you find other women attractive

after getting married to her and now shes with me, at some point it stopped, i can even look at other women no i cant

[keithAngel]

Hmmm

Whatever happens, I intend to buy a house there in the very near future, ready for my retirement 10 years from now.
Cheap living, nice weather, etc......
So, alone or with someone makes little difference at this point, as I have no family to speak of here.

Wierdly enough, I'm in pretty high spirits right now!

Fitz I wonder if you mean a condo? Any thing in the house direction you can NEVER own

[vbkelly]

I don't mean to offend, but the GF I have in the Phils is killing off our relationship, continually interrogating me, and pestering me for my passwords to YM etc....!!
I decided to try Rebtel the other day as a new cheap VOIP provider, tho we use Skype mostly, and I got accused of changing my SIM Card
I didn't BTW.

This is really getting me stressed out.
All I have time for here in the UK is work work work and more hard work to fund my trips to see her.
Am going back on Aprl the 13th BTW.


Any comments welcomed.

Are all Pinay's jealous and insecure??? nope fitzy i'v never been jealous or insecured since i meet my boyfriend and now husband even thou loads of women look after him haha joke anyway, long distance relationship is very hard but you need to put three elements on it first be FAITHFUL to each other, second TRUST and then LOVE.

[kimmi]

I don't mean to offend, but the GF I have in the Phils is killing off our relationship, continually interrogating me, and pestering me for my passwords to YM etc....!!
I decided to try Rebtel the other day as a new cheap VOIP provider, tho we use Skype mostly, and I got accused of changing my SIM Card
I didn't BTW.

This is really getting me stressed out.
All I have time for here in the UK is work work work and more hard work to fund my trips to see her.
Am going back on Aprl the 13th BTW.


Any comments welcomed.

not all Pinays are insecure and jealous Fitzy.. Some people say if u dont feel any jealousy with your hubby or your boyfriend you dont really love them but in my case maybe it's because my hubby always make me feel secure and we trust each other.

though when hubby and I are still on LDR I never asked him for his passwords on YM or in any online thing..

[cheeky]

in our case i usually get jealous with his kids...i think it will change when i start to get to know them...it's just me being childish sometimes....crazy me..in ur case i think ur gf just misses u and she wants more attention.

[raynaputi]

not all Pinays are insecure and jealous Fitzy.. Some people say if u dont feel any jealousy with your hubby or your boyfriend you dont really love them but in my case maybe it's because my hubby always make me feel secure and we trust each other.

though when hubby and I are still on LDR I never asked him for his passwords on YM or in any online thing..

well that's what you call TRUST

[kimmi]

well that's what you call TRUST

thanks Rayna, it's just that if he wanted to go astray its up to him and for me eventhough we're a couple we still have our own privacy eh..

[raynaputi]

thanks Rayna, it's just that if he wanted to go astray its up to him and for me eventhough we're a couple we still have our own privacy eh..

yep that's true..i believe that too.. couples should be open to each other as much as they can, but we should not forget everyone has the right of privacy.. so if you do trust each other, no need to look in his emails, chat messages, text messages, phone calls, etc...because both of you already know your limits the moment you started being committed with each other and the consequences too if u break them..

[GaryFifer]

If you are not happy and you feel pressured and upset that is not love. I know that I have been through that, and looking back I ask myself, why did I put up with such crap. I took an outsider to say to me, why are you letting her treat you like that. It is nothing to do with the fact she is Pinay, it is something wrong with her. Something happened to her in her past and it is nothing to do with you. It affects your relationship now.

One last question ask yourself, are you happy or do you feel stressed? If you feel stressed everytime you talk, it is pressure you do not need.

May I ask if you are putting hard work into the relationship, what exactly have you had from her? Letters, photos gifts, or just interrogation?

[Arthur Little]

Be a shame though, coz you were really positive about things last time i read a thread of yours. Maybe some face to face chats will put her mind at ease when you see her next.

... it WOULD be a shame, Philip; Emma seems like a good 'un from all you've said about her in the past. Persevere, mate ... and see how things go when you're back out there next month.

[sars_notd_virus]

do all Englishman tar everybody with the same brush?

[KeithD]

do all Englishman tar everybody with the same brush?

Obviously not otherwise we wouldn't be here

[liane]

Definitely not all Pinays are jealous or insecure. It's a matter of TRUST in the relationship. You have to respect each others privacy as well.

Maybe she wants reassurance that you are really "on" to her

[Arthur Little]

do all Englishman tar everybody with the same brush?

Don't know 'bout the English ... but the Scots don't!!!