Trust & Jealousy

[KeithD]

Trust | Jealousy

Two words, and probably jointly responsible for more relationship break-ups than anything else.

If you see these early in a relationship, take them as a warning that things may get worse.

My wifey is fine with me (is she behind me? ), I can say other women are pretty and live . Jealous girls need to realise that men DO NOT suddenly find every other woman on the planet ugly just becuase they have you. What you do have that they don't is looks AND inner qualities.

Note: If you watch porn make it very clear to the woman that when the camera cuts..... the guy is actually having a break and doesn't do it non-stop for 2 hours .... great business.... supplying Lube to the porn industry.....

If you think your other half is behind your back, then even if they are not (and in most cases they aren't) then they may as well as they are getting blamed for it anyway!

I'm sure others have plenty to add to this

[triple5]

Two words, and probably jointly responsible for more relationship break-ups than anything else.

Followed closely in third place by "money".

Note: If you watch porn make it very clear to the woman that when the camera cuts..... the guy is actually having a break and doesn't do it non-stop for 2 hours ....

Good tip

Been there and done that with all the trust & jealousy mind games. I never question my missus about whether she's being faithful or not, if she was going to she'd do it anyway, and by being a suspicious pest you'll only drive them away in the end anyway.

You gotta have faith in your own abilities to make the other person happy so they don't stray away

[aromulus]

The mind boggles.....

[Peanutz]

I never had an issue with trust and jealousy thingy I've been jealous when I was a teen ager and I think I overcome that feeling of insecurity as the years passed by, I learned from those experiences I realised that I don't like that kind of emotion...it just makes you feel miserable...why would I want to feel miserable? No way!

[Steve.r]

The jealousy thing is my pet hate. When in a realtionship, why would you even want to make your partner feel jealous, what purpose does it serve? If you have trust then there shouldn't be any silly jealousy.
Long distance of course makes it far harder to find trust between partners, but 'if' you find the right one, then all will be ok.

My Mahal is in Singapore, she has many friends, goes out with them has a good time. I don't know what she does every minute of the day, but I trust that she is honest with me. She even tells me that men come on to her, but she wants me and I believe her. Do I feel jealous?? Hmmm?? not really, I feel more sad that I cannot be with her to enjoy the fun times she is having.
Likewise, I am here in the Uk where she cannot keep tabs on me.

The most important think between you and your loved one is trust. Jealousy should play no part in my opinion. It is too destructive.

Steve

[raynaputi]

Trust | Jealousy

Two words, and probably jointly responsible for more relationship break-ups than anything else.

So true..though in my case, i've never been overly jealous or didn't trust my exes..i actually gave them freedom and let them do things they want to do coz i expected they knew their limits..i didn't even looked or held their phones to check for phone calls or txt messages..sometimes i was even the one saying "look at that girl, she's very pretty"..sad part is they abused it and wanted more than 1 gf..LOL..sometimes it makes me think if i've been to good to them or they're just full of crap..hahaha

[aposhark]

Keith,

I am glad you mentioned this. There was a thread recently mentioning jealousy in a LDR, I would like to ask people more about jealousy within a day-to-day marriage.

When I went to the Philippines once, before I met my wife, I was talking to a Filipina who was living with a German man.

They were having some issues at the time and as we chatted, she told me she couldn't stop herself being very jealous. She offered her advice that if I ever met a Filipina be prepared for her jealousy; it is part of a Filipina's love.

I just wonder how true she was/is about "all Filipinas".

I have had problems with this in my marriage also and I don't have the answer for it even though I am older than my wife and supposed to be wiser.

As many of us live with Filipinas, can anyone offer any advice?
I certainly did not see jealousy in any English girl to the degree that I see it in my own Filipina wife.

[Ping]

Jealousy and insecurity goes together I think. And it is part of ones personality, especially in the growing years, from childhood to adulthood.

Well for me i never get jealous or insecure in my life.I'm very frank and outspoken person. I'll say what's in my mind and heart wheither you like it or not. Then tell them sorry but thats it . No grudge.

[raynaputi]

Jealousy and insecurity goes together I think. And it is part of ones personality, especially in the growing years, from childhood to adulthood.

Well for me i never get jealous or insecure in my life.I'm very frank and outspoken person. I'll say what's in my mind and heart wheither you like it or not. Then tell them sorry but thats it . No grudge.

Very well said MrsWin2Win.. that's what i believe and do too ..

[KeithD]

Phew!!! I'm still alive... I'm alive.....

Should I start another thread that'll test for jealousy and trust entitled: "Apart from your other half which forum member would you like to .... you know ......"

My answer: All of them ..... not at once ....oh, and not the guys either

[GaryFifer]

I'm a bit lost at what yer point is here?

It is a personality thing. What has to do with race? Does that mean Indian girls chase men down the road with rolling pins being overbearing mother-types? Or Nigerian woman are very strict. Some sterotypes might be true. That might be worth a laugh reading that.

What has porn got to do with it? It is not even real what they get up to in that!Noone farts or falls out bed, and no man ever looks to see if his willy has fallen out when in the deed.

[liane]

Jealously is never (yet) an issue in our relationship...
I trust him and we're both matured enough to know the foundation of a good marriage.
Life is too short to have it wasted on being jealous and being suspicious

[sars_notd_virus]

I trust my husband implicitly
I get jealous in a good way..(like when he is eating Mars bar and am not with him)

[Arthur Little]

To MY mind, Trust & Jealousy are incompatible. And hence ... by their very nature ... the two cannot co-exist in any stable relationship. Whenever there is implicit trust, there's no need for jealousy. But wherever the 'green-eyed monster' rears its ugly head, there is no room for trust ... simple as that, really!

[aromulus]

Am I jealous...?

If I was, then it would mean that there is no trust.

And I trust her with my life.


Just envious...

I am envious of her, because she can sit with her legs crossed, and I never been able to do it...

I am envious because she is a much better cook than myself...

Basically it is just a bit of envy that I feel, not jealousy.

[KeithD]

I am envious of her, because she can sit with her legs crossed, and I never been able to do it...

I'm not sure I know that position!!! Maybe you can show me later luv

[Arthur Little]

Envy, on the other hand, is a "sin" with which, I'm sure, MOST normal people can readily identify. Consider, for example, the "tossers" who are invariably seen to prosper ... regardless of their apparent ruthlessness and/or lack of moral scruples ... and compare their affluent lifestyles with those for whom nothing ever seems to work out - yet whose intentions towards their fellow human beings are consistently honourable. Hardly fair, is it?

So while there are many who would, somewhat smugly, declare that "life is what a person makes it" ... there can be NO doubting the basic fact that it APPEARS to be more of a 'bed of roses' for certain types [often the "wrong kinds"] of folk, than for others - depending, largely, on individual circumstances.

[aromulus]

Envy, on the other hand, is a "sin" with which, I'm sure, MOST normal people can readily identify. Consider, for example, the "tossers" who are invariably seen to prosper ... regardless of their apparent ruthlessness and/or lack of moral scruples ... and compare their affluent lifestyles with those for whom nothing ever seems to work out - yet whose intentions towards their fellow human beings are consistently honourable. Hardly fair, is it?

So while there are many who would, somewhat smugly, declare that "life is what a person makes it" ... there can be NO doubting the basic fact that it APPEARS to be more of a 'bed of roses' for certain types [often the "wrong kinds"] of folk, than for others - depending, largely, on individual circumstances.

In plain English. now, please...

[Notavirusalso]

roughly translated crap ppl seem to get a good life while good ppl seem to spen all thier time avoiding the crap

[Arthur Little]

In plain English. now, please...

... well ...

[Arthur Little]

roughly translated crap ppl seem to get a good life while good ppl seem to spen all thier time avoiding the crap

... spot-on!

[Notavirusalso]

I trust my wife
I trust her to check my pockets before doing laundry

[Arthur Little]

I trust my wife
I trust her to check my pockets before doing laundry

... just curious ... are YOU, by any [normal] stretch of the imagination, the husband of the lady known as 'sars notd virus' - otherwise Mari Russell? If so, what's YOUR real (christian) name?

[GaryFifer]

My cousin is a thief, he ended up bedding the social worker. Is that what u mean Arthur?

[Arthur Little]

My cousin is a thief, he ended up bedding the social worker.

... ?

[GaryFifer]

I refer the gentleman to the previous comments by sars. "about how the roughly crap ppl seem to get a good life while good ppl seem to spend all their time avoiding the crap"

This is jealously too. As you are are comparing yourself to another, which is not the right thing to do. We each much make our own path through life.If our partner is jealous,or does not trust us it is not good. They might be pain, but should you have to suffer for what happened to them?

Trust over long distance is difficult and I would give the best advice to anyone, keep regular letters, photos of her and her friends and family. Know everything you possibly can while looking into these pics. But that is only a snapshot of someones life.

Now with every Filipino having a digital camera on their phones, there really is no excuse not to get photos about their life, their habits and no lies. If she asks for emergency money, ask her for a picture of hospital if its true. Only fair right? Sounds cruel, but hey, if you want truth, no Filipino should hide what they have been doing.

Filipinos think, because us Westerners have PCs, we are up to something.

Jessica, always wanted me to speak to her everyday for over 5 hrs on cam. I mean. What does she think I will do if I am not with her Pressure like that is not healthy. Enjoy your time together, have fun, send each other silly jokes, stories, and learn about the differences in culture.
Learn each others language which always is fun. I never did that.

[Arthur Little]

Is that what u mean Arthur?

... I meant with Mari calling herself 'Sars' - but "NOT d [the] virus" - it seemed feasible to imagine she'd married the man who referred to himself as 'Notavirusalso'. Oh, it, you've got me all now, Gary!

[aposhark]

I'm a bit lost at what yer point is here?

It is a personality thing. What has to do with race? Does that mean Indian girls chase men down the road with rolling pins being overbearing mother-types? Or Nigerian woman are very strict. Some sterotypes might be true. That might be worth a laugh reading that.

What has porn got to do with it? It is not even real what they get up to in that!Noone farts or falls out bed, and no man ever looks to see if his willy has fallen out when in the deed.

You typed in the ChatBox:
"so thai curries are supposed to be good though"
Isn't this a stereotype also?

In my beliefs, I do see stereotypes in life.........

[GaryFifer]

You typed in the ChatBox:
"so thai curries are supposed to be good though"
Isn't this a stereotype also?

In my beliefs, I do see stereotypes in life.........

How can food be a stereotype. you eat it. Does that mean a scottish fish will wallop u over the napper if u put it next to english chips? I believe in stereotypes. Of course. there are truth in them. I mean think of a country. and then think of 2 words to describe it. French... arrogant and smelly? c'mon.. I DARE YOU

[aposhark]

How can food be a stereotype. you eat it. Does that mean a scottish fish will wallop u over the napper if u put it next to english chips? I believe in stereotypes. Of course. there are truth in them. I mean think of a country. and then think of 2 words to describe it. French... arrogant and smelly? c'mon.. I DARE YOU

I should have said generalisation, sorry.
I prefer to leave this idea like this......except to say that the word stereotype, literally meaning "solid-kind" was invented by Firmin Didot - a French man