Originally Posted by triple5
It's only more recently this has changed, and I honestly believe it's no coincedence that this has coincided with many of the problems we see in society today... precisely the one I've been trying my damndest to stress
each and every time the subject crops up - here and elsewhere - only to discover (all too frequently) others' strong opposition reverberating on me vociferously, like the proverbial
and what are these problems we see in society today ?. It's only more recently this has changed, and I honestly believe it's no coincedence that this has coincided with many of the problems we see in society today
And if you say the womans place is at home and you get called a chauvinist
no my misses wouldn't call you a chauvinist, she call you a
None whatsoever, admittedly.if your wife wants to work, what right do you have to tell her she can'tIF she were really keen to go out to work, I'd be the last person to object to her wishes. But perhaps I'm lucky ... in that, MY missus - who has no dependent children - is perfectly content with being a plain housewife!
Having said that, Joe ... my wife - like yours - is a professional lady. Yet, she is unable to find a job in line with her field of expertise without re-training.Conversely, she has already found she's considered too highly-qualified for working in say, a residential establishment for the care of the elderly. And besides, in my opinion, the physically strenuous nature of the duties involved in such an environment are better-suited to a younger person, than undertaken by someone who is aged fifty-one!
I disagree! Wages have - for the most part - generally been proportionate to the cost of living. As my age indicates, I am a State Pensioner ... but I'm also in the fortunate position of being in receipt of a modest occupational pension.
However, this year, the current economic recession has meant I've had to forego my customary annual index-linked increase in the latter.Yet Myrna and I still manage to get by well enough financially ... possibly because we don't incur the added expense involved in the upkeep of a car!
Seriously? Don't you read the newspapers? Anti social behaviour is a massive problem in the UK, is it not? And the cause of it, I reckon, is down to kids not being taught the right morals and discipline when they're younger
Consumerism has a lot to answer for as well. Everybody wants a car each, the big plasma TV, regular holidays etc. keeping up with the Joneses is expensive. You'll always here, "well we both can't afford not to work" But I wonder how many mums actually could stay at home if they cut back a bit on all the luxuries
Oh come on, Joe ...it's patently obvious - even to a "blind man"!
'Latch-key kids' running wild ... getting into all sorts of bother as a result of indulgence in anti-social behaviour.
WHY? Because there's no-one at home to exercise proper parental responsibility and control
- nor [seemingly] care what they get up to!!
And with the greatest respect, Paul (triple5) is currently in the Phils ... and can hardly fail to have noticed the difference between the high proportion of well-mannered youngsters to be found in a predominantly less affluent corner of the world - compared to [some] of the rich kids and/or spoilt brats to be found in our own materialistic country.
That's what exactly my husband told me Joe. I never listened to him but I do sometimes in our bedroom.
But hubby always earns double my earnings.
but at least I save some.
Spot on there ArthurAnd with the greatest respect, Paul (triple5) is currently in the Phils ... and can hardly fail to have noticed the difference between the high proportion of well-mannered youngsters to be found in a predominantly less affluent corner of the world - compared to [some] of the rich kids and/or spoilt brats to be found in our own materialistic country.I was invited to a meal at an expat friend last week, Chris is a retired psychiatric nurse and school teacher. He reckons dealing with the mentally ill was a breeze compared to having to "try" and teach teenage kids in the UK.
We both agreed that, even though we're kind of outcasts here and a long way from "home", we've never felt the intimidation that can be felt walking through some UK city and town centres. Many British youths love nothing better than a good tear up. Youngsters here, generally, are not confrontational or aggressive.
I agree with you Arth, but sometimes husband works only part time let's say 20 hrs/ week so a wife really need to work and husband can look after the kids.
The cost of living here is high and child benefits is not that big. I will probably work although it's a disaster for me working for little amount and pay bills.
Or I should stay at home and let hubby to work for more.
My hubby will let me decide what I want. I would like to work but would also like to spend as much time as I can to care and guide my child/children someday.
Maybe I could work full time while we doesn't have a child yet and by the time we have I could slow down a bit and lessen my working hours so I could look after my family. Time management is what I need to learn.
Though you do not write books, you are the writer of your life. Because everything depends on YOU.
im working most of my life b4,but when i arrive in UK i become a full time wife and mum but still earn money...im work from home as well....
self fulfillment is not about earning your own money hahaha! i am self fulfilled looking after my son my husband our dog and doing charity work for hospitals and hospice around our area... and what is wrong with asking money from my husband hahaha, it is him who wants me to stay at homeisnt it too bored mariabesides i do not ask he gives
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
very true, i truly believe that my son is what he is today because i am always here to support and listen! most of his friends parents are at work (fulltime) and those kids drink and get up to mischief... nowadays some parents just do not take the time to be with their children so sad reallyOh come on, Joe ...
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
i totally agree with sir arthur...base on my experience being a fulltime mum and wife is a bit harder than being employed. it's a 24 hours duty 7 days a week as household chores never ends... and i think husband should give their wife a credit to that...and once the children start go to school its about time the wife give some time for themselves....shopping alone...go to salon or a sneak date with hubbyWellby emphasising ... I quote: "... UNTIL THEY'VE REACHED SCHOOL-AGE, AT LEAST!".
And I continue to stand by that particular statement!
Maybe property is cheaper where you are or you had good wage increases, but there are not many 25 year olds now that could buy a 3 bed semi valued at £220k as their first house and be able to support their house-wife as well. Most first time buyers are now in their mid 30's and even then they can't buy a 3 bed semi as their first house on a single income. You'd need to earn around at least £65k+ and sadly I earn nowhere near that! In 2003-2005, during certain periods, I saw the type of property I was looking for increase in selling price in just a couple of months by what I earnt in a whole year!I disagree! Wages have - for the most part - generally been proportionate to the cost of living. As my age indicates, I am a State Pensioner ... but I'm also in the fortunate position of being in receipt of a modest occupational pension.
However, this year, the current economic recession has meant I've had to forego my customary annual index-linked increase in the latter.
, Paul ... for adding to my reputation ... very much appreciated!
Hello me, I work part- time and hubby doesn't mind.how many here that thre husband allow thre wife to get work even with 3 litle children
We don't have children yet, when we do then Jane will not work, I agree with arthur whole heartedly.
My wife is free to what she wants to do, I don't question her. She wants to work so she works, it is fulll time and it's where I work so happy families all round. She is not a philipine over sea's worker, she works for her family ie; the 2 of us just like any other western marriage so, good for her.
...
good to see you are still on here
I agree with a lot that is said, when Marvie and I were dating I told her straight up that i'd prefer a wife who didn't work and instead had time for her family. I was always jealous when I was younger of my friends parents where the Mum was always there when they came home from school with dinner on the table. I work 6 months a year (away), and earn enough for my missus not to need to, so whats the point. Plus I'd be bored on my 6 months holiday if she was out 9-5!!!!
I agree Ricky, Jane is just working basicly to keep her sain, we dont have children yet and you can only go to the 'shopping malls for so long until that gets to be a bore' she wants to contribute Ricky, her money is not touched, it just grows every month.
As you may be aware, work in the PH is contract work not like here, here her job is permanant and she has another social circle which I think is dam important..anyway another subject
because its her life, it should be her choice, so you would be bored on your 6 months hols, so how do you think she will be stuck at home 24/7 ? while your away
its not just about money its about her having a life and a career
now you all say that kids get in trouble if the mother works, well how many of you guys are willing to stay at home 24/7 and look after your own child, surely they need a father figure to discipline them ? oh
what year are we in
Joe it's a lifestyle choice. I told Marvie my feelings while we were dating, and I also said i'd never stop her working if she wanted to do it for reasons other then money. For me, having this type of family life is important, and I've met someone who feels the same way and is very happy to live this kind of life. Of course I wouldn't demand her to do anything, everything is a mutual decision, but she knows my feelings about things, and I know hers. I have encouraged Marvie towards volountary and charitable work, and involvement with the church to help ensure she doesn't reach the point of being bored. But that really is her choice.
I respect that some women want to work, and I also respect that some families have no option but to have both parents working simply to ensure that the bread is on the table.
Regardless of where you meet your partner, whether on the internet or in person, it certainly helps if you have some mutual interests or values from the start, because if you both have different ideas about how things are going to pan out once you're together, it isn't going to work.
For my family, it's always going to be a little bit difficult because i'm away from home, sometimes at the most critical and emotional times. Luckily, I have an understanding employer who will put me on the next flight home. But this is my lifestyle choice, and Marvie has come into this with her eyes open and knows that this is a life that some women wouldn't want and couldn't handle.
as you've said YOU dont want your wife to work Ricky, but what would you do if she said she doesnt want you to work away 6 months of the year, would you quit that job ? ...
and yes she knows about your lifestyle, but when you have kids are you still going to work 6 months of the year away from home? my misses sister, her husband is a first mate, he sees his kids for 6 months of the year, what kinda bond do you think they have ??
instead of telling my misses what to do, i've encouraged her to do what she wants, there are no rules, its cost us all the money we've had, 9yrs of my life, 20yrs of her life, a dream shes had all her life, its been oneof a journey, but it doesn't matter if she wanted to be a doc or anything else, i'll be there supporting her
we've always found away of having someone with our kids, either me the misses, a child minder or her aunt, and as for them being the next yobs, nothing could be further from the truth, they are too honest and decent, i'm worried how they will survive in the real world and so we will be sending our 9yr old girl for karate lessons..
I understand what your saying Joe. But this is an individual lifestyle choice. What you choose and what works for you can vary differently to what works for other people.
If my missus wanted me to change my lifestyle, of course I'd have to change it. Does being away 6 months of the year, trouble our family. Well it has its difficulties, but i'm only away 2 months at a time, can be home anytime I want. Do I feel it ruins my relationship with my step-daughter and make it difficult with my pregnant wife? Yes, it poses its own challenges. But the way I see it, and this is a purely individual lifestyle choice, I'd rather have 6 months of quality time with my family then working mon-fri and commuting, only to get home at 6 or 7pm when my kids are going to bed. Doesn't suit everyone, but I see this life work for others and since Marvie has been at sea too she's strong enough to make it work for us. Yes, her being at home is critical for this to work, but its her free choice regardless of what I want.
Like your wife, Joe, my daughter was a professional person ... having worked as a Speech & Language Therapist for 15 years. Her husband is a Physics teacher but, for a couple of years after training, the only job he could find was in 'supply'. Then - when he DID obtain a permanent post - his wage was considerably less than Fiona's.... well how many of you guys are willing to stay at home 24/7 and look after your own child, surely they need a father figure to discipline them ? oh
what year are we in
And so they decided that - if and when they had kids - Fiona would be the breadwinner ... with Dean staying at home to look after them.
As it transpired, however, they had been married more than 10 years before their first child came along- by which time Dean's salary matched Fiona's - and she gave up work immediately,
to devote herself to full-time motherhood.
Sure, they're a lot less affluent than they'd grown accustomed to - having since had to forego such luxuries as foreigh holidays and sell one of their two cars. But they wouldn't have it any other way, given the choice!
Besides, Fiona's mother-in-law lives quite close to them and would be only too pleased to "babysit" for them during the day ... but Fiona herself, is a firm believer in it being the parents' responsibility to look after their offspring - until the latter are school age at least!
thanks to everyone
this forum is superb
its all bout balance no? time wit children , time wiv wife and time for yourself, my girl is independant... if i told her wat 2 do she wud kick my ass! as for money, difficult.... she says im a one day millionaire, however if she has d cash.... it amazingly disappears!
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