working and being a wife

[Arthur Little]

... instead of telling my misses what to do, i've encouraged her to do what she wants, there are no rules, its cost us all the money we've had, 9yrs of my life, 20yrs of her life, a dream shes had all her life, its been one of a journey, but it doesn't matter if she wanted to be a doc or anything else, i'll be there supporting her

Don't get me wrong ... I admire you and your missus for the tremendous sacrifices you've made [jointly] over many years. But wouldn't you agree that the fault lies principally with the 'Professional Standards Bodies' HERE in the UK? After all, it's these blinkered bureaucrats who are setting unrealistic targets for already adequately-qualified non-Europeans entering this country as the lawfully-wedded spouses of British nationals (or whatever) ... solely to protect the interests of their OWN graduates - WHO, if truth be told, are in many instances a great deal LESS well-trained in their chosen disciplines!

And, until some degree of parity is reached (which, sadly, seems unlikely to happen!) this grossly unfair practice will continue to prevail.

[cheeky]

Maris and I have discussed her working when in UK. of course until we are married and she has the leave to remain visa, she will just busy herself with the culture, friends and generally learning about her new country.After we are married, well I am happy for Maris to do what she likes, of course I dont want her doing a job with hours where we pass likes ships in the night but whether it is to study or a job that suits her, I am fine. I want her to feel happy and motivated about her new life with me in the Uk. Money wise no need for Maris to work, so its really is up to her..

[SteveL]

My baby wants to work in UK until she's with child and then become a full time mum. I respect this, i think wives should choose , its the 21st century after all.

[joebloggs]

my wasn't really about the wife working, it's about her being told what to, not all filipina's are so submissive, if i told the misses to do something and she didn't want to i would get

and thats the way it should be.. partners 50/50 , maybe thats why were still married

[triple5]

not all filipina's are so submissive

I'm never sure where that stereotype comes from. My missus and all her mates would tell any fella where to get off if they started bossing them around.

[gWaPito]

because its her life, it should be her choice, so you would be bored on your 6 months hols, so how do you think she will be stuck at home 24/7 ? while your away

its not just about money its about her having a life and a career


now you all say that kids get in trouble if the mother works, well how many of you guys are willing to stay at home 24/7 and look after your own child, surely they need a father figure to discipline them ? oh your all the hunters and bread winners..
what year are we in

Well JoeBloggs what can I say, I have read many of your posts over the years and to be honest I have not agreed with most of them!
This I have and all the others you have made in this thread.
I'm on sick leave and I'm only on my first week and believe me, it's driving me nuts! I could not imagine being stuck at home '24/7' but, like Ricky said, it's something they agreed on way before arriving on these shores also he did say things are not set in stone so, there you go.

In my experience this type of working set up does not work. I did it for 12 years, for example 4 weeks away then 3 days home yes, great money big house nice cars with all the posh holidays etc but, that was it.
I came from a family where we were poor as church mice but, we were a proper family, we eat together, laugh together all of that, things that were taken for granted but, most or some don't realise this until later in life until it's too late, perhaps this is where being a middle aged guy comes in handy ie; experince of life.
I'm much poorer than I was but, I would not swap the life I have now. I treasure my wife, I know she would be there for me whatever, like I said I had a lower back complaint last week and they thought it was a prolasped disc because I lost control of my functions at home, Jane was there and cleaned me up, imagine being thousands of miles away from your beloved while all around you are thinking the worst yes, you also think of your own and others mortality, another thing about being middle aged!!

Ricky, you are a good man, you will do whatever is right for your family. We are lucky, we are in a land where we can choose.

[joebloggs]

I'm never sure where that stereotype comes from. My missus and all her mates would tell any fella where to get off if they started bossing them around.

where it comes from ? just read this thread again, see how many filipina's who replied said their husband didn't want them to work and they don't work, i know filipinas on here who have put up with a lot of from their husband..

Well JoeBloggs what can I say, I have read many of your posts over the years and to be honest I have not agreed with most of them!
.

which ones
not agreed with most of them then your either or as most of my posts have been about immigration advice

[triple5]

where it comes from ? just read this thread again, see how many filipina's who replied said their husband didn't want them to work and they don't work, i know filipinas on here who have put up with a lot of from their husband..

I was referring more to the people who say, "Oh he just wants a filipina coz she'll do as she's told" Not so much the ladies on here. Just because they respect their husband's wishes on one aspect doesn't mean they're totally submissive to everything. I can't comment on ladies on here who have put up with from their husbands. The only one I remember was Allyn who has now left him.

[gWaPito]

where it comes from ? just read this thread again, see how many filipina's who replied said their husband didn't want them to work and they don't work, i know filipinas on here who have put up with a lot of from their husband..



which ones
not agreed with most of them then your either or as most of my posts have been about immigration advice

OK, It was one only and it did pi_ _ me off.
It was when my then fiance (pumpkins), now my wife mentioned about getting a spouse visa. You and another mod basicly put the boot in, after she explained the situation to you about me. I was affected for a while similar to this . I'm cool now Glad you are are still here

[joebloggs]

I was referring more to the people who say, "Oh he just wants a filipina coz she'll do as she's told" Not so much the ladies on here. Just because they respect their husband's wishes on one aspect doesn't mean they're totally submissive to everything. I can't comment on ladies on here who have put up with from their husbands. The only one I remember was Allyn who has now left him.

what about respecting their wife's wishes ? , there are more than you think, thats my point they don't speak out, Allyn did and shes a strong filipina

[joebloggs]

OK, It was one only and it did pi_ _ me off.
It was when my then fiance (pumpkins), now my wife mentioned about getting a spouse visa. You and another mod basicly put the boot in, after she explained the situation to you about me. I was affected for a while similar to this . I'm cool now Glad you are are still here

most to only one
can you give me more detail, i dont put the boot in on anyone

[triple5]

what about respecting their wife's wishes ? , there are more than you think, thats my point they don't speak out, Allyn did and shes a strong filipina

Like others have said, its something that should be decided quite early on. There's no point bringing your wife here then laying down laws which will make her unhappy.

[triple5]

can you give me more detail

That's over 8000 posts you've got to search through now gwapito

[gWaPito]

most to only one
can you give me more detail, i dont put the boot in on anyone

Joe, my now wife explained to you that his exwife was still here in the UK and was worried that it would affect the visa application.
She then went into the history of that failed marriage, and it was said to her 'who says he won't do the same to you in a few months down the line' or words to that affect. The history is there to see what was said and it was hurtful Joe It wasn't only you who said it, many others jumped on the band wagon and it was wrong, anyway we have made it, Jane is here working full time in the same company as me so everyone is happy.
Joe you proberly didn't realised what you said was hurtful and neither did your followers, it was. When you have some time, you have a read. Its over now like I said and I am from the south so what do you expect!!

[triple5]

Who are these followers of Joes I'm sure he meant no offence Gwapito. Joe's been here for ages and has no doubt seen his fair share of negative stories. I've only been around just over a year and am surprised by how many scams and what not go on. I've done it myself at times quickly jumped to conclusions.

[gWaPito]

Who are these followers of Joes I'm sure he meant no offence Gwapito. Joe's been here for ages and has no doubt seen his fair share of negative stories. I've only been around just over a year and am surprised by how many scams and what not go on. I've done it myself at times quickly jumped to conclusions.

It was 'Pumpkins' first post and goes on from there.
I accept that Triple5 We are all but human. anyway I see you mentioned ladyboyz a few times, you don't like

[triple5]

anyway I see you mentioned ladyboyz a few times, you don't like

Your eyes must just be attracted to the word

[joebloggs]

Joe, my now wife explained to you that his exwife was still here in the UK and was worried that it would affect the visa application.
She then went into the history of that failed marriage, and it was said to her 'who says he won't do the same to you in a few months down the line' or words to that affect. The history is there to see what was said and it was hurtful Joe It wasn't only you who said it, many others jumped on the band wagon and it was wrong, anyway we have made it, Jane is here working full time in the same company as me so everyone is happy.
Joe you proberly didn't realised what you said was hurtful and neither did your followers, it was. When you have some time, you have a read. Its over now like I said and I am from the south so what do you expect!!

right i've found the post
http://filipinaroses.com/showthread....0-ex-wife-visa

like i said i never , well never intend to put anyone down or stick the boot in, so if you can tell me where i have ?, in fact i've wished your misses good luck many times and i think the advice i have given here is good advice, and much of it is not my opinion but what i think the opinion of the ECO would be..

but people do only hear one side of the story and jump to conclusions and try and help the poster, thou people are wrong sometimes..

but its good to see your both together and its worked out

[gWaPito]

right i've found the post
http://filipinaroses.com/showthread....0-ex-wife-visa

like i said i never , well never intend to put anyone down or stick the boot in, so if you can tell me where i have ?, in fact i've wished your misses good luck many times and i think the advice i have given here is good advice, and much of it is not my opinion but what i think the opinion of the ECO would be..

but people do only hear one side of the story and jump to conclusions and try and help the poster, thou people are wrong sometimes..

but its good to see your both together and its worked out

you did help us Joe we we are greatful for what you have done. Where we were expecting a 13 month wait or longer before Jane came on here, it turnt out to be a 4 week wait.
From what Jane said at the start it didn't sound good, I agree but, she put it right in the end, and yes, you did wish us well Thank you
You have not had it easy also so, we wish you well as well. So, Love all around ha

[bornatbirth]

i think this thread as gone off topic

how about a big group hug!

[maria_and_matt]

yey to the group hug

[gWaPito]

yey to the group hug

yes, kisses all around

[maria_and_matt]

and kisses too mwah mwah mwah!

[joebloggs]

you did help us Joe we we are greatful for what you have done. Where we were expecting a 13 month wait or longer, it turnt out to be a 4 week wait.
From what Jane said at the start it didn't sound good, I agree but, she put it right in the end, and yes, you did wish us well Thank you
You have not had it easy also so, we wish you well as well. So, Love all around ha

i don't think anyone on here means to offend or upset anyone, we hear of scams and problems other members have and warn other members of them, but it doesn't mean that all end the same way. the past doesn't equal the future and people on here dont know your ex, you or your now wife. so dont be offend as i'm sure non is meant

goodluck to you both, not that you need it

yes its not been easy for me and the misses, but were getting there
i try to help people out, repaying the debt to others, because i've been helped to

[joebloggs]

yey to the group hug

maria
had to take my dog to vets last week, it didn't look good , gave her an injection of rimadyl, took her back the next day, seen another vet, shes got cancer in her breasts, ear infection, arthritic in all her legs
vets thinks she is 15yrs old, had side effects to the rimadyl, stopped the tablets for a few days, will take her to vets maybe thursday/friday if she dont get better .. it could be this time

[bornatbirth]

animals get old and sadly start falling apart, 15 years is good going!

[maria_and_matt]

maria
had to take my dog to vets last week, it didn't look good , gave her an injection of rimadyl, took her back the next day, seen another vet, shes got cancer in her breasts, ear infection, arthritic in all her legs
vets thinks she is 15yrs old, had side effects to the rimadyl, stopped the tablets for a few days, will take her to vets maybe thursday/friday if she dont get better .. it could be this time

awwwww :( so sorry to hear that, hope she starts feeling better soon :-(

[joebloggs]

well i've not given up hope yet, but if shes still suffering then its time
yes old too soon, it doesn't seem 10yrs ago since we use to chase rabbits and cats
but now only good memories

[maria_and_matt]

well i've not given up hope yet, but if shes still suffering then its time
yes old too soon, it doesn't seem 10yrs ago since we use to chase rabbits and cats
but now only good memories

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