Advice please - Does this sound right?

[stevewool]

we all cause upset but like youi think , better being out in the open and up front with things it only eats you up inside if you dont say what you mean, emma i thought was a little lazy being at home not working, but she was doing lots looking after her sisters children being ther for them in other words had no time for work ,seeemed to me she was to busy for her sister then herself , i did get on to her about work and its only the last year that she as tried, there way of work cost money up front it seems, do you mind me asking , you have just come back from there and you are going again soon how long do you stay for each time

[Englishman2010]

we all cause upset but like youi think , better being out in the open and up front with things it only eats you up inside if you dont say what you mean, emma i thought was a little lazy being at home not working, but she was doing lots looking after her sisters children being ther for them in other words had no time for work ,seeemed to me she was to busy for her sister then herself , i did get on to her about work and its only the last year that she as tried, there way of work cost money up front it seems, do you mind me asking , you have just come back from there and you are going again soon how long do you stay for each time

Sounds like your situation was very similar to mine Steve. Yes, she says she spends all day cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, looking after grandma, nephews, nieces...etc. If I hadn't been there and visited her house, I probably wouldn't believe her. I think part of the problem living in the west is that we have labour saving devices that do many of the jobs they have to do manually, we also tend to have homes that require less hard work to keep clean.
I hope that my posts don't sound like I don't trust her, on the contrary, I'm merely getting some of my frustration off my chest.
In answer to your question, I try to get to see her every 3 or 4 months and usually go for approx 2 weeks. I've made 3 trips out to the Far East in the last 8 months and have 2 more planned between now and Dec/Jan. I really can't afford any more and can't take any more time off work. Fortunately, modern communications (wifi, laptop and a smart phone mean that I can still do some work out there, hence the reason why I can justify 4 x 2 week trips a year)

[stevewool]

wow lucky you , i was just out there for over xmas and new year stayed for a month and loved it , we do sound very similer, to put it bluntly in my eyes emma is being used by her family she says not, but here you would not get away with it, there way of life is so differant to ours but in a way i like there way, like i said we are trying to get emma here soon and if it goes well marry, save and move back there to retire but a long time till then , you dont come across as not trusting here at all you are like most of us on here just trying to understand and hope we are right with our feelings