sending a income

[keithAngel]

Good point notasvirus but I guess our beloveds come from many diferent experiences and backgrounds some have simply handed over there pay to the patriarc and have no experience of budjeting plus the aforementioned gent may still expect to recieve even more dosh and put immense pressure not to mention other members of the family or even members of the medical profession who sense a good payday

It can be quite tricky to want the best and at the same time insist on reality being comprehended and limits observed after all you can only spend it once and as you know some things have a higher priority

[triple5]

I didn't say it was, and I have deliberately not said how much I send as it isn't really anyone elses business. Regarding the BB, I gave her my old BB so that she can be on line and IM me without having to go to the cafe, that is as much for my benefit as hers so I am happy to pay for her load so that she can SMS and IM me as often as possible.
I have stated numerous times that I have told my g/f to get a job otherwise I will stop supporting her as I feel that she is being picky about what she does as she knows I will help out with her basic living costs. I am happy to continue supporting her if she helps her self and gets a job.
Regarding the reports that Filipino's can live on 6K a month, they probably can if they live with a family who all help out and chip in. My g/f does not have that luxury, her family are in the provinces. She is currently staying with distant cousins in Manila, but is desperate to get a small place of her own as the relationship with them is strained and she needs to move on.
From my experience of seeing what prices are like in the shops, I can't see how anyone can live on their own for 6K a month? Sure, they can get by on next to nothing if they just eat rice and dried fish just a couple of times a week, never have any electricity, have no bed or any other furniture in their room, have no toileteries, no decent clothes or shoes, walked everywhere instead of getting trikes, buses or jeepneys and never had credit on their phone. That may be how all of our g/fs lived before we met them, and yes they will still survive if we don't support them. However, I am her boyfriend, we love each other, and I feel it would be wrong of me to live a very luxurious lifestyle by comparison and not give anything. I saw the place she was staying with her realtives on my recent visit, and TBH I wouldn't even let a dog live like that (and I hate dogs), I've also seen photo's of some of the rooms she has stayed in when she has tried to live on her own with no support.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a mug or a soft touch either. I question everything she uses her money for to make sure it is being used wisely and not given to cousins to keep them in Red Horse. Sometimes when she hints she needs money I say NO. Sometimes it is to see what the reaction is and to suss if she is genuine or not, and sometimes because I feel I have done my bit already and she needs to learn to be more self sufficient.
We can all debate about what we think is enough or too much, not enough...etc, but at the end of the day what is sent is personal to each of us. I have a very nice lifestyle in the UK, I hope that one day my g/f will be able to join me here to share that lifestyle, I don't see any problem with trying to give her a very small taste of that now. When i go out to the P.I we stay in nice places and eat good food, I don't think it's a big deal, nor is giving her my old phone and paying for some credit.

Fair play You seemed to have your head screwed on. It's probably the biggest destructive force in these relationships - money It's just getting the balance right so you know you're appreciated and not encouraging laziness.

[fred]

I agree, £500 per month for someone who has babies. When you consider the cost of baby formula is just as expensive in the Philippines as it is here in the west
We all want our babies to grow big and strong, the first 2 years in a childs life are so important, the foundations for the rest of there lives

for a 1 to 3 month old baby a tin of formula costs about 280 Pesos which last a week..That increases to 2-2-1/2 tins when the child is 6 months old so throw in the nappies and call it 20 quid a month.
A Filipino run 1 bed apartment can be rented from 2.500k per month in Manila and the average low income Filipino family spend probably no more than 500 a month on electricity..(forget A/C)
A single Filipino can eat and drink in a fast food shopping mall joint 3 times a day for about 180 Pesos. That includes meat veg , rice and and 3 glasses of water. or about 100 per day or less if they do their own cooking.(being generous here)
Purified water is 25 P for a 5 gallon container and should last one person 2 weeks.
General water supply around 100,Pesos per month.
Internet cafe that I use (province price) 12-15 Pesos per hour.(Manila price from 25 Pesos per hour).

[Notavirusalso]

Good point notasvirus but I guess our beloveds come from many diferent experiences and backgrounds some have simply handed over there pay to the patriarc and have no experience of budjeting plus the aforementioned gent may still expect to recieve even more dosh and put immense pressure not to mention other members of the family or even members of the medical profession who sense a good payday

It can be quite tricky to want the best and at the same time insist on reality being comprehended and limits observed after all you can only spend it once and as you know some things have a higher priority

sorry Keith I have read your post a couple of times and I still do not understand what you are saying, am I missing something ? is it in code ? or am I just not that bright ?

[Notavirusalso]

for a 1 to 3 month old baby a tin of formula costs about 280 Pesos which last a week..That increases to 2-2-1/2 tins when the child is 6 months old so throw in the nappies and call it 20 quid a month.
A Filipino run 1 bed apartment can be rented from 2.500k per month in Manila and the average low income Filipino family spend probably no more than 500 a month on electricity..(forget A/C)
A single Filipino can eat and drink in a fast food shopping mall joint 3 times a day for about 180 Pesos. That includes meat veg , rice and and 3 glasses of water. or about 100 per day or less if they do their own cooking.(being generous here)
Purified water is 25 P for a 5 gallon container and should last one person 2 weeks.
General water supply around 100,Pesos per month.
Internet cafe that I use (province price) 12-15 Pesos per hour.(Manila price from 25 Pesos per hour).

I think you are being to soft, why let them have nappies ? that could save £10 and if they diluted the water down that could last twice as long, guess they are lucky as breathing oxygen is still free well at the moment, ever thought of becomeing a politician ? I really do give up I'm not going to read this thread anymore makes me feel a bit sad, guess I am very lucky with my wife as she isnt a scum sucking bottom feeding leech and hasnt turned in to a lazy idle red horse drinking parasite like every one else has experianced,
so why do you bother if you know how bad these people and the country is ? just stay in the uk and hide in the garden shed with all your lovely money so no one else can steal it, and I hope it brings you lots of happiness

[fred]

Just saying what things cost, along with realistic Filipino budgets..
If you want to double,triple or quadruple those costs then that is your business..
I couldnt give a rats ass what you do to be honest!!
How the **** do you "dilute water"?
Surreal comment!!

[malditako]

for a 1 to 3 month old baby a tin of formula costs about 280 Pesos which last a week..That increases to 2-2-1/2 tins when the child is 6 months old so throw in the nappies and call it 20 quid a month.
A Filipino run 1 bed apartment can be rented from 2.500k per month in Manila and the average low income Filipino family spend probably no more than 500 a month on electricity..(forget A/C)
A single Filipino can eat and drink in a fast food shopping mall joint 3 times a day for about 180 Pesos. That includes meat veg , rice and and 3 glasses of water. or about 100 per day or less if they do their own cooking.(being generous here)
Purified water is 25 P for a 5 gallon container and should last one person 2 weeks.
General water supply around 100,Pesos per month.
Internet cafe that I use (province price) 12-15 Pesos per hour.(Manila price from 25 Pesos per hour).

wonder how u come up with those statistics fred...just when i left the philippines my babys milk cost me 845 /900 gm of milk and based on my experience the younger the baby is the expensive their milk are...the monthly check ups, and the vaccines where the last cost me 4500 for one shot alone. babys distilled water...i remember my baby when he's 6 months old he can consume 4 to 5 big tins of milk a month and increase more while he is getting older...what about the vitamins, the baby food, clothing stc...when i was working in manila i tried to board for a month and that cost me 1500 for a single bed where u share the room with 3 other person and that was 10 years ago.....hard to make computation isnt it but thats not the reality i can say...anyway my baby is worth spending for way more than what u mention above...

[Steve.r]

wonder how u come up with those statistics fred...just when i left the philippines my babys milk cost me 845 /900 gm of milk and based on my experience the younger the baby is the expensive their milk are...the monthly check ups, and the vaccines where the last cost me 4500 for one shot alone. babys distilled water...i remember my baby when he's 6 months old he can consume 4 to 5 big tins of milk a month and increase more while he is getting older...what about the vitamins, the baby food, clothing stc...when i was working in manila i tried to board for a month and that cost me 1500 for a single bed where u share the room with 3 other person and that was 10 years ago.....hard to make computation isnt it but thats not the reality i can say...anyway my baby is worth spending for way more than what u mention above...

But you very lucky to have been given £500 to £600 a month to get used to spending. Of course you could spoil your child, why not you were able to. Like I said before, others are not so fortunate and need to budget far harder than you may imagine. Living in the Uk is not as easy as you think, you know that dont you ??

[fred]

Gparry..
Believe it or not,I know the costs of babies milk as Im sent out on an errand to buy the stuff every week!!
The littln in our house is 6 months old now and we discovered about 3 months ago that she is allergic to Cows milk..So from 3 months onwards we have been buying her soya milk which is more expensive of course!! That comes to no more than 1000 Pesos per month.. She is a pretty small baby and and didn't have the greatest start in life as the nurses gave her only a 50/50 chance of survival after her mother died giving birth to her..
In regards her vaccines..She has had all her shots which were administered free of charge (the same as all kids here) at our local barangay health clinic.

Opposite our apartment building in Imus Cavite,there is a Filipino run apartment block...A two bedroom unit is 2,500 Pesos per month..Its inside a gated sub division.
No idea what it looks like on the inside but I would be happy to pass on the address to anyone interested..

The costs I provided above are the realistic and latest costs of what a Filipino can and will live on and are by no means set at a minimum.
Its all very well people living in England discussing endlessly how much to send,but I feel it only fair that they are made aware of base Filipino minimum wage living costs..They can make adjustments 10 fold from there if they so wish.
That of course is none of my business and as I said before I couldn't care less..
Cheers,
Fred.

[malditako]

But you very lucky to have been given £500 to £600 a month to get used to spending. Of course you could spoil your child, why not you were able to. Like I said before, others are not so fortunate and need to budget far harder than you may imagine. Living in the Uk is not as easy as you think, you know that dont you ??

oh yeah its not easy in a way i miss my family back there and everything about the philippines...and i find out that there are lots of things here which are cheaper to get than in the philippines....my husband knows what life i have before we met and i feel blessed he maintains it that way without him feeling that he is being taken advantage of...and reading on this thread now i can agree with u THAT I AM LUCKY!!!

[IainBusby]

Gparry..
Believe it or not,I know the costs of babies milk as Im sent out on an errand to buy the stuff every week!!
The littln in our house is 6 months old now and we discovered about 3 months ago that she is allergic to Cows milk..So from 3 months onwards we have been buying her soya milk which is more expensive of course!! That comes to no more than 1000 Pesos per month.. She is a pretty small baby and and didn't have the greatest start in life as the nurses gave her only a 50/50 chance of survival after her mother died giving birth to her..
In regards her vaccines..She has had all her shots which were administered free of charge (the same as all kids here) at our local barangay health clinic.

Opposite our apartment building in Imus Cavite,there is a Filipino run apartment block...A two bedroom unit is 2,500 Pesos per month..Its inside a gated sub division.
No idea what it looks like on the inside but I would be happy to pass on the address to anyone interested..

The costs I provided above are the realistic and latest costs of what a Filipino can and will live on and are by no means set at a minimum.
Its all very well people living in England discussing endlessly how much to send,but I feel it only fair that they are made aware of base Filipino minimum wage living costs..They can make adjustments 10 fold from there if they so wish.
That of course is none of my business and as I said before I couldn't care less..
Cheers,
Fred.

[joebloggs]

and dont forget its easy to spend (and waste) money someone else has earnt

[malditako]

Gparry..
Believe it or not,I know the costs of babies milk as Im sent out on an errand to buy the stuff every week!!
The littln in our house is 6 months old now and we discovered about 3 months ago that she is allergic to Cows milk..So from 3 months onwards we have been buying her soya milk which is more expensive of course!! That comes to no more than 1000 Pesos per month.. She is a pretty small baby and and didn't have the greatest start in life as the nurses gave her only a 50/50 chance of survival after her mother died giving birth to her..
In regards her vaccines..She has had all her shots which were administered free of charge (the same as all kids here) at our local barangay health clinic.

Opposite our apartment building in Imus Cavite,there is a Filipino run apartment block...A two bedroom unit is 2,500 Pesos per month..Its inside a gated sub division.
No idea what it looks like on the inside but I would be happy to pass on the address to anyone interested..

The costs I provided above are the realistic and latest costs of what a Filipino can and will live on and are by no means set at a minimum.
Its all very well people living in England discussing endlessly how much to send,but I feel it only fair that they are made aware of base Filipino minimum wage living costs..They can make adjustments 10 fold from there if they so wish.
That of course is none of my business and as I said before I couldn't care less..
Cheers,
Fred.

not all vaccines are given free by the goverment as some of them are way expensive and goverment cant afford to provide the public. i have a midwife friend who works in local barangay health clinic and nurses cousins who works both in public and private hospital. i feel sorry about the little girl inside your house. it sounds she needs more medical check up than what local barangay health clinic or town hospital can offer. my prayers are with her for her good health.

[malditako]

and dont forget its easy to spend (and waste) money someone else has earnt

im afraid that does apply to me...when i was working i can spend my money to anything till the last drop. buy expensive clothes, enjoy expensive salon, give presents to my family, treat them out for a dinner...going out with friends...even give money to those unfortunate person whom i feel need my help even for a single peso..and even though my husband never limit me when it comes to money i still feel i need to be very careful coz technically its his money.

[keithAngel]

sorry Keith I have read your post a couple of times and I still do not understand what you are saying, am I missing something ? is it in code ? or am I just not that bright ?

Sorry to be so obtuse the crux of my point is that if your lady has no idea of the relative differences between your income and expenditure costs in the UK (clearly not your experience) then she may be thinking along with the family a extra 10,000 here or there makes little difference especialy iof she has never run a household this can strain communication especialy when trying to sinc times with a terminaly slow and erratic net over there

its my view that the money spent by guys in a 2-3 week visit bears not to much connection generaly to their normal lives over here and if that is taken as the norm complications can arise.

As Joe says its easy to spend money you didnt earn especialy in a culture that doesnt often think or have the ability to save and if we go along with this without carefull thought we may have to deal with it as a bigger issue later on.

When Im in the Phils now I try to understand the local version and stop thinking its only a quid but rather its a third of a days wages like Fred It matters not a jot what anyone sends but others may like to understand the local economy and cultural pressures before stretching their resources to attempt to support a lifestyle that has no relationship to the vast majority in the Phils

[bornatbirth]

theres a lot of nonsense in this thread

seems to me, we all have lifes, wifes and experiences different to each other.
trying to pay the bills, saving up and sending our to gf/wife can be very difficult for us

i could of sent my wife £500 a month and it would of been spent, due to that being my saving, i would of never saved anything!, so i didnt send her anything and she had to make do.

i do find it funny that some think you can live on next to nothing, £100 doesnt go far!

[fred]

i do find it funny that some think you can live on next to nothing, £100 doesnt go far!

Labourers in our part of the woods get 150.00 Pesos per day..(if they can find work) Most of the ones around here are married with 3/4 kids..I`d love to be a fly on the wall as you explain why 100.00 Pounds doesn't go far!

[bornatbirth]

my point exactly and what if you dont live in a shack

£100 dont go far with my wife and gparry, maybe i should get tips from yourself and tony

[Steve.r]

We all mocked Tony, but in reality, maybe we could learn from him

[fred]

i feel sorry about the little girl inside your house. it sounds she needs more medical check up than what local barangay health clinic or town hospital can offer. my prayers are with her for her good health.

Thank you for saying that..
Fortunately she is in perfect health now and is in good hands with us.
Money is of no consequence to us in regards her well being.
We have found that the nurses and doctors in the provincial hospital are really far better than those in the private sector here in Bohol and I admit that I completely misjudged them after she was born.
Perhaps you could tell me which vaccines she may have missed due to barangay financial restraints and I will check her card.
Fred.

[keithAngel]

theres a lot of nonsense in this thread

seems to me, we all have lifes, wifes and experiences different to each other.
trying to pay the bills, saving up and sending our to gf/wife can be very difficult for us

i could of sent my wife £500 a month and it would of been spent, due to that being my saving, i would of never saved anything!, so i didnt send her anything and she had to make do.

i do find it funny that some think you can live on next to nothing, £100 doesnt go far!

I think if get enough info its easier to see which versions fits closest to your own circumstances I long ago got out of the idea that the uk version of life was the only valid model

Ive lived well on little money and had times where i spent a lot but didnt enjoy it so much seeing life from different perspectives in my view is helpful in understanding other cultures and this may mean for us that we understand our partners more

[bornatbirth]

We all mocked Tony, but in reality, maybe we could learn from him

when you look at all the costs a filipinas has, im not talking about the basic costs of buying food and paying bills, if you want her to have a decent life, do you really think a £100 is enough, £200/£300 is the very least they need?!

[fred]

my point exactly and what if you dont live in a shack

Then send your girl whatever you can man and keep her in the comfort that she has long been accustomed too..
If you feel your finances can take it!!!
I have a business that depends on guys like you which keeps me in the comfort that I have been accustomed too!! Keep it coming..We love your commitment!

[keithAngel]

I would agree born if they are on there own paying all bills themselves but its rare to find a filipno that wants that or could achieve it from there salary

[bornatbirth]

Ive lived well on little money and had times where i spent a lot but didnt enjoy it so much seeing life from different perspectives in my view is helpful in understanding other cultures and this may mean for us that we understand our partners more

like you, i could live on next to nothing but my wife cant

[bornatbirth]

I have a business that depends on guys like you which keeps me in the comfort that I have been accustomed too!! Keep it coming..We love your commitment!

how surreal and your a trusted member??, and what is this mighty empire of yours, it must be paying good if you take a baby to the local barangay

[fred]

We all mocked Tony, but in reality, maybe we could learn from him

I was stuck in Asia broke for nearly four years at 22 years of age Steve due to our business going down the pan here in this country..
Best damned 4 years of my life..That experience set me up for life!

[fred]

how surreal and your a trusted member??, and what is this mighty empire of yours, it must be paying good if you take a baby to the local barangay

Ouch!!
I feel your pain!!

[maria_and_matt]

i didnt realize that men can be just as bitchy as girls!

[Sim11UK]

I would agree born if they are on there own paying all bills themselves but its rare to find a filipno that wants that or could achieve it from there salary

Well this is my situation Keith. My wife shared a Boarding House, with her 2 sisters & friends, that came & went. Both her sisters, have married & live in America...So for now, she is there on her own, so I'm quite aware of her financial needs.