sending a income

[gWaPito]

I think there are some misunderstandings here

Members here are at many diferent stages of relationships with Filipinas from wanting a relationship.to having just met someone on line .a recent visit.a girlfriend ....long term LDR..to recently married and so on.

Even amongst Filipinas wide diferences exist GParry although your post is thanking Gwapito his clearly says his wife saves HER money and neither send any back thats 100% diferent to your position and sugestion of norms.

Perhaps what should be said is its no bad thing to find out quickly about the Philipines local expenditure and make it clear what you position is in the relationship from early on .

Its not for example normal here to meet a lady become boyfriend / girl friend and start to support her or him from the start it might become so at some point the cautionary information here in this thread is because of personal experiences as well as accounts from ex-pats and guys who have been this route perhaps more than once

Im sure Filipinas here would believe a significant part of the online dating services are attracting less than moral folk of all genders that is in no way to sugest any one here is part of these groups but not to give due warning is less than kind.

If you know what you want to do and have 100% trust in your partner then you wouldnt be in need of any advice from here but if your just starting out a good understanding of how things are in the Fils can be invaluable

Good communication from the start is the key but misunderstandings occur easily both in language and culture and there are vastly diferent ranges of disposable income available as the membership here has demonstrated.

The fatted calf version you mention is not the only one available and many guys I know have had the experience of being treated with less than respect at least by our own cultural standards and were seen by the families as walking a,t,m,s having for example invited immediate family out for a meal and having 30 people turn up.

The other thing to consider if your lady doesnt come from a relatively well of family is how much pressure she may be put under to fund the family and how embarresed she may be

These dificult bits though can help to bring you together more quickley if handled from understanding rather than being in the dark

Good post, Kieth
I think the point what gparry is making, is trust, or to be honest, the lack of trust.
You mention about doing a expenditure list
That is so demeaning, Kieth. I can't imagine saying that to my wife and I can imagine even thinking that
I have trusted my wife totally from the start. You can't go into a relationship thinking you will be riped off
It will never work, Kieth, sleeping with one eye open, checking your change etc etc.

The magic word is trust

Yes, Jane does save all her money and we don't send anything back. If Jane wanted to, she could, in fact Jane could do whatever she liked, I never question her, NEVER.

Do we know what the 'norm' is ?
I would love to see any stats on this.