Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Two Builders

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Manchester
    Posts
    1,396
    Rep Power
    0

    Two Builders

    Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

    The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.


    Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.

    Stuart: - No way, he's a stockbroker.

    Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!


    The argument repeats itself for some time, until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet.

    On entering the toilet, he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.

    Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.


    Dave: - 'Scuse me.... No offence mate, but me and me' mate were wondering what you do for a living?

    Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.

    Dave: - Oh'? What's that then?

    Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?

    Dave: - Er ... mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!

    Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

    Dave: - It's in a pond!

    Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

    Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.

    Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

    Dave: - As it happens, I've got a five bedroom house... Built it myself!

    Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house, it's logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself, and that you are quite probably married? And with a family?

    Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.

    Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

    Dave: - Yep! Five times a week!

    Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?

    Dave: - Do what? Not me mate!

    Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

    Dave: - How's that then?

    Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

    Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive. Thanks mate!


    Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.


    Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

    Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

    Stuart: - What's that then?

    Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

    Stuart: - Nope.

    Dave: - Well then, you're a wr.


  2. #2
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Isle of Wight UK
    Posts
    2,953
    Rep Power
    150
    Thank you, I liked that
    Mick.


  3. #3
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Chessington
    Posts
    2,237
    Rep Power
    86
    Statistics show that 50% of men masturbate in the shower, and the other 50% sing...do you know what they sing? (Didn't think you would...)


    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 2 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 2 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Bathrooms and Builders.
    By Tawi2 in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 7th April 2011, 11:21
  2. Two Aussie builders
    By tomoboyle2000 in forum Humour
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 20th October 2008, 20:38
  3. Tacloban builders
    By subseastu in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 13th June 2008, 22:48

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Filipino Forum : Philippine Forum