Why some other men can’t control their self?

[Ladybug_sim]

It is just a thought that always happen to some of the men even they are married. Just thought that people are different and they change when they got married. Now I found out that they even become worst on it…. They said “I had appears for that woman and sex too… I’m so sorry” It is a long story but I share a little bit on here and ask if what you guys can advise or give an opinion..

I have a close family friend that married an American man. He is a bit rich coz he his own business but before they met each other. His wife divorce on him and find much richer man or have a high rank on the government there then he go to net dating site and find my friend. After his divorce nothing left for him coz he leave his business for too much depression. He meet lots of women here in Philippines before they met in person as what he said . My friend is ok with it coz she thinks what friend for and if they like each other then why not as long as he is true to his self or feeling. He said to my friend that she is too different from all the women he meet that’s why they got married and now they live long for almost 8 years being married and still they don’t have baby coz as what they said they don’t want baby for this time coz he is getting old for having baby. He back to his business that even he don’t hope for good on it but still they try to stand the business again with his wife. His wife never ask amount for him that’s why his wife want to stand too and she find work to the mall as regular electronics technician but while her husband out of town she is the one who look and manages the business. My friend age is 37 and his husband 65 years old for now.

They bought laptop when they went to LV before she think that he will use it to his business but she find out that he give it to his other woman here in the Philippines then she found out lots of Western Union receipt and lots of pictures too with that woman when he go to Palawan or some places here in the Philippines. It is not the first time that’s why my friend doubted coz their bills there in home is not yet paid and she has a notice from the company for disconnection. So she need to look all the papers and all things she found that….

I think he is too old to do things but as what I heard for now to my friend it felt me so sad and cant sleep to think of how is she doing there now. My elder sis keep contacting with her but she seem to be out of reach coz her mobile broke as she throw it when she found out again that her husband said that he want to go Las Vegas for business but instead of LV he is here in the Philippines now. She said that she felt so bad and don’t know what to do for now. …. I did talk to my elder sis again now and she talk a little to my friend but she not talk much to my sister coz it feel her too hurt but still she keep going on and do their business .. and my elder sis said she keep crying at the corner of their house now… and I don't know what to say … I know I cant help her but if ever I know where her husband now roaming around I really go and frank him what he did to my friend. If he don’t love my friend just return it here in the Philippines and go his life to the Hell … I don’t know if my hubby read this thread just felt so bad this time and he know that man too. … I know I don’t have the reason to get in for their relationship but I’m think it is too much now.

Your opinion is highly appreciated...

Tnx.. ladybug

[pennybarry]

Men wants to control their women for their safety with them or to feel safe with them and respect them. The problem sometimes is they can't control themself first and they became control freaks and hurts women emotionally. That's how women feels sometimes if they are under control!

[Les_lady888]

I feel sorry for your friend. But I think she only needs someone to knock her head so she could come back to her senses and wake up! C'mon, she's 35 yrs old and the guy is 65!!!...a philandering, unfaithful husband! She has been with him for 8 years! Does she really want to spend all her life miserable and belittled because of his infidelity and lack of concern on how she feels?! Introduce her to some British guys. They are far much better than American blokes

[stevewool]

that is wrong penny of you to say that men want to control there women , there are lots of good men out there just like lots of good women , in any partner ship its ment to be shared but also someone has to make that disition what and when to do things , its not taking control , yes ladybugs friend has problems to sort out ,but remember it could be the other way round where the lady is messing about, so treat everyone as individuals not as a group

[stevie c]

there is obviously no love there from this man so i believe its time for your friend to leave this man & move on with her life find another man who will love her cherish & treat her how she should be treated

[Steve.r]

Penny, this is an individual case.. like Steve said.
This guy is just a rat. You will find these rats all over the world, not just in Phil-US or Phi-UK relationships but in any relationship anywhere. To be quite honest, I have also experienced this, but 'I' was in the position of the poor lady that is LadyBug's friend. She was controlling, seeing other people while i thought we were in a relationship. Because of this I had to move out of th house I was buying, and eventually lost the house to this woman. Hard for me right, but I had to do it for my own sanity. I lost nearly everything, but kept my dignity. For this lady, she also need to be strong, her friends need to be there to keep her strong and support any decision she makes. We can all say, 'just leave him' but she has to do this when she is ready, when she is prepared and when she is secure for herself.

LadyBug, be there for her to talk to, advise, support. She will know what she wants to do and when. Just be there.

[James Hubbard]

Personally, I think that as a 37 year old woman she may have thought more before diving into a relationship with a 65 year old man.... like les-lady said ... hmmm ... and i agree with her

[Steve.r]

Personally, I think that as a 37 year old woman she may have thought more before diving into a relationship with a 65 year old man.... like les-lady said ... hmmm ... and i agree with her

Remember that she was 29 when they met, maybe younger as they are married for 8 years already. So, maybe at that age she was coerced ??

[bornatbirth]

sadly for her, your forgetting that filipinas try to make the marriage work no matter what?

she should just get a divorce and up is

[les_taxi]

I feel sorry for your friend. But I think she only needs someone to knock her head so she could come back to her senses and wake up! C'mon, she's 35 yrs old and the guy is 65!!!...a philandering, unfaithful husband! She has been with him for 8 years! Does she really want to spend all her life miserable and belittled because of his infidelity and lack of concern on how she feels?! Introduce her to some British guys. They are far much better than American blokes

So true

[Doc Alan]

I feel sorry for your friend. But I think she only needs someone to knock her head so she could come back to her senses and wake up! C'mon, she's 35 yrs old and the guy is 65!!!...

I'm 64 and I've enjoyed learning from and contributing to the forum
I have some respect and some think I'm arrogant (but you wouldn't want health advice from someone who has no idea what he's talking about...). Maybe I should just stay single. certainly not get involved with anyone under 34, be humble and enjoy travelling

[Steve.r]

I'm 64 and I've enjoyed learning from and contributing to the forum
I have some respect and some think I'm arrogant (but you wouldn't want health advice from someone who has no idea what he's talking about...). Maybe I should just stay single. certainly not get involved with anyone under 34, be humble and enjoy travelling

Worlds apart my friend......worlds apart. And I am not talking age difference.

[les_taxi]

I feel sorry for your friend. But I think she only needs someone to knock her head so she could come back to her senses and wake up! C'mon, she's 35 yrs old and the guy is 65!!!...a philandering, unfaithful husband! She has been with him for 8 years! Does she really want to spend all her life miserable and belittled because of his infidelity and lack of concern on how she feels?! Introduce her to some British guys. They are far much better than American blokes

The proof
http://www.forandagainst.com/British...n_American_Men

[-sillybilly-]

Sorry to hear about your friend..i know how she feels and what shes going through.
All she need is to move on...( yeah thats easy to say ) make herself busy, shes got a job, she doesnt need his unlawful and unfaithful husband!

Its not the end of the world...shes only 37 and im sure she can start again on her own two feet and will find the right guy for her....

Time can only tell when shes ready but as for now its not worth wasting a single tear for that old bloke! She needs to look after herself!

He will have his Karma...dont worry!
Tell her to sing "I will survive!" hehe!
Imagine shes singing infront of his husband and kicking his!
Filipina are strong!

[Ladybug_sim]

Thanks penny for you’re opinions, yes, on some other men but why they really not contented of what they have or what their wives do? He said that “ I’m feel so young when I dated with younger woman” Is it really happen that during your long years of living as husband and wife they can feel on it at their ages? Or mean they lost their love and find another taste of love for the younger one. Where is the saying “I will love you forever, tell death do us part.

Yes, my friend still young at her ages and sexy at my kagandanhan hindi lamang sa labas but inside as she do everything for her husband when they start their new life. She help him to stand again while his friend is out from him. She is there to support, care and love him even her mom in law not like Filipina coz as what they said when he married Filipina they bring all her family there… for that things her husband only said that just understand mum so she only keep her ears closed and do what she think is right.. She show that not all filipina is like that like these.. ma pride rin tayo diba and she stand her self for that.. soon their business are getting good and some of his friend back to him and do business again… they keep going as husband and wife. But my friend think she need job so she can support her family here coz she don’t want to hear again for lots of gossip from his family saying sending money to the Philippines.. she never do that or ask from her husband instead she keep things for that all and now she found out that for a long year they stay together still her husband not changed.. He love to support people that he never know especially women…Well, I don’t know it is too much it is what I can observe him when they have a visit here.

Thanks again, ladybug

[Ladybug_sim]

I feel sorry for your friend. But I think she only needs someone to knock her head so she could come back to her senses and wake up! C'mon, she's 35 yrs old and the guy is 65!!!...a philandering, unfaithful husband! She has been with him for 8 years! Does she really want to spend all her life miserable and belittled because of his infidelity and lack of concern on how she feels?! Introduce her to some British guys. They are far much better than American blokes

Yes, I know it is one thing we can say to feel so sorry for her… and yes, if I really there with her I can knock her head but it is really not easy to say living your husband coz it is your husband and what ever happen for him he is still her husband right? we Filipina fight our right to save the relationship, marriage and love we have but I don’t know if is too much.. They are at the right ages when they got married so they know what is wrong and right to do only things that his husband still need something I think or make him self getting young again? Or maybe my friend has some lack of being a wife for him coz of her busy day of work.

Thanks for your opinion, ladybug

[Ladybug_sim]

there are lots of good men out there just like lots of good women , in any partner ship its ment to be shared but also someone has to make that disition what and when to do things , its not taking control , yes ladybugs friend has problems to sort out ,but remember it could be the other way round where the lady is messing about, so treat everyone as individuals not as a group

thanks on it stevewool...

[Ladybug_sim]

there is obviously no love there from this man so i believe its time for your friend to leave this man & move on with her life find another man who will love her cherish & treat her how she should be treated

Well, I cant say on it coz he said he love his wife very much and whatever she want she is be his princess wife… I wish it is really easy to say that she will move on that situation but his husband is too old I think for that problem... thanks for your opinion

[Ladybug_sim]

Penny, this is an individual case.. like Steve said.
This guy is just a rat. You will find these rats all over the world, not just in Phil-US or Phi-UK relationships but in any relationship anywhere. To be quite honest, I have also experienced this, but 'I' was in the position of the poor lady that is LadyBug's friend. She was controlling, seeing other people while i thought we were in a relationship. Because of this I had to move out of th house I was buying, and eventually lost the house to this woman. Hard for me right, but I had to do it for my own sanity. I lost nearly everything, but kept my dignity. For this lady, she also need to be strong, her friends need to be there to keep her strong and support any decision she makes. We can all say, 'just leave him' but she has to do this when she is ready, when she is prepared and when she is secure for herself.

LadyBug, be there for her to talk to, advise, support. She will know what she wants to do and when. Just be there.

Yes, you are right and wish I am really be there for her now but she is too far and I cant easily call her… I know she need to talk with somebody near to her but still don’t know if she has friend on there as I never see her place where she stay… but I just keep on contact with my sister there and keep praying too for her, I really hope she is ok.. she only wait for now when her husband be back on there…

[Ladybug_sim]

Personally, I think that as a 37 year old woman she may have thought more before diving into a relationship with a 65 year old man.... like les-lady said ... hmmm ... and i agree with her

They are not that ages when they get married as they have the right ages before they got married just reach that’s ages for now in a long year of living together.

Thanks on it

[Ladybug_sim]

sadly for her, your forgetting that filipinas try to make the marriage work no matter what?

she should just get a divorce and up is

Yes, you are right for that but still divorce is not the solution on it … maybe if she find other man but for now I think she need to keep her husband right?

Thanks bornatbirth

[Ladybug_sim]

Remember that she was 29 when they met, maybe younger as they are married for 8 years already. So, maybe at that age she was coerced ??

[Ladybug_sim]

So true

[Ladybug_sim]

I'm 64 and I've enjoyed learning from and contributing to the forum
I have some respect and some think I'm arrogant (but you wouldn't want health advice from someone who has no idea what he's talking about...). Maybe I should just stay single. certainly not get involved with anyone under 34, be humble and enjoy travelling

Good to hear from you Doc Alan, to remain single is life missing something right? But I understand your opinion, yes it is nice to be single and enjoy life and do what make you happy always and good luck on it .. .. thanks for the share

[Ladybug_sim]

The proof
http://www.forandagainst.com/British...n_American_Men

Well, I think we don’t compare men or even women coz we are all human, we feel, we think, we heard, we love, we hurt, we got angry, or we have different ways and outlooks in life. The way we love or we give our love to the person we love. We never think who or the way they are as long as they love you, they care for you and they accept you are the best we can make our life happy… thanks for the share lestaxi

[Ladybug_sim]

Sorry to hear about your friend..i know how she feels and what shes going through.
All she need is to move on...( yeah thats easy to say ) make herself busy, shes got a job, she doesnt need his unlawful and unfaithful husband!

Its not the end of the world...shes only 37 and im sure she can start again on her own two feet and will find the right guy for her....

Time can only tell when shes ready but as for now its not worth wasting a single tear for that old bloke! She needs to look after herself!

He will have his Karma...dont worry!
Tell her to sing "I will survive!" hehe!
Imagine shes singing infront of his husband and kicking his!
Filipina are strong!

Yes, I know she is a strong woman ... and thank for that sillybilly

[Doc Alan]

Good to hear from you Doc Alan, to remain single is life missing something right? But I understand your opinion.. .. thanks for the share

I was asking a question , rather than expressing an opinion I would be sad indeed just to lose friends because there is an age gap such as you have described + guess I was just hoping for reassurance (which Steve.r has already given ) that every situation is different. There is a big age gap between me and some of my friends whom I consider mature (including members of this forum). Maybe I don't look (or act) 64 ...but then again I'm very very careful not to convey an impression of arrogance which my true friends know is FAR from the truth !
Thank you for your thoughtful thread

[stevewool]

we are who we are, you cannot change that, as long as you are happy in what you do and others are happy for you too , and doc , as they say its just a number our age , its how you feel inside and outside too that counts,and talking of arrogance , you just know what you are talking about , others dont understand what you are talking about

[Sim11UK]

I don’t know if my hubby read this thread just felt so bad this time and he know that man too.

Yes I do know him, very disappointed as I thought he was OK.

[Sim11UK]

Personally, I think that as a 37 year old woman she may have thought more before diving into a relationship with a 65 year old man.... like les-lady said ... hmmm ... and i agree with her

?????????????? They've been married nearly 8 years