Men are happier because...

[scotsfiancee]

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.



You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.



The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress £2000. Tux rental-£100.



People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.



The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.



A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.



If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.



Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.



You only have to shave your face and neck.



You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache..



You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.



No wonder men are happier.

[tiger@tigress]

[joebloggs]

its a woman's world ! why its better to be a woman !!

women got off the Titanic first.

Women can cry and get off speeding fines

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

Taxis stop for women.

women get Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

women We have the ability to dress themselves.

women have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.

Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

Women know who their children are without having a DNA test

It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.

Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.

Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.

[Mich]

[Louella]

Men think they are always right, don't listen to explanations & don't accept mistakes!!! but women still love them!

Louella

[KeithD]

So Joe.....you'd like to bleed every month and wake up next to an ugly man after a drunken night out?

....Yep....sounds like a Manc to me

[joebloggs]

So Joe.....you'd like to bleed every month and wake up next to an ugly man after a drunken night out?

....Yep....sounds like a Manc to me

i'll not say what i was going to or i'll get

my wife bleeds me dry every month hey keith thought we're not talking about the night i woke up next to, after you took me out for boys night out,

[KeithD]

...It was all so small I never noticed you were a guy

Come on Newcastle!!!

[joebloggs]

oh Keith you was that , it wasnt me you was looking at, you was stood looking in the mirror, it was your little you saw.


anyway a joke to make u

Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty scousers showed up.
Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, Saint Peter said
he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him
to admit the ten most virtuous from the group. A few minutes later, Saint Peter
returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone!"
"What? All of the Scousers are gone?" asked God.
"No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"

sorry Keith, i only know scouse jokes, there always funny

come on BARCELONA !!!!!!!!!!

[KeithD]

Didn't Barcelona beat Man u last time....and yet Liverpool won