One Month!!

[ghee101]

he blocked me on facebook and ym. i am not allowed to communicate with him, not even text him on the phone. i am only allowed to CALL him up till september 06 to confirm that i am going to him.

okay, as much as i dont want to wash my dirty linens in public, i'll give you a little history.

i WAS a bad girl. before i met my bf in person, i wasnt even sure if he's serious or if we really are in relationship. him being younger than me, being cool, having lots of young asian girls on his list, all flirting with him openly. an ex friend of mine hacked my accounts, found out about him and communicated with him. this ex friend told my bf everything about me plus some lies. i admitted my sins, he forgave me many times. we met in person, realized the connection is not just online. we parted ways, chat daily. but what my hacker did to me put so many doubts in my bf's mind that he become suspicious of every single thing i do or say that no matter how we resolve our problems, it always comes back over and over again. he said he's sorry for punishing me even if we agreed i get a clean slate. we are just too frustrated for being away from each other now that we know how it is being together. we fight everyday.

and he ask me to go to him, on my own efforts. that'll show him that i am really serious and committed. life is hard as it is here in the philippines. if you read some forum entries, even those working for too long dont even have any savings. and he gave me only one month to confirm my booking!

yeah, we talked about the situation that (1) we didnt meet on dating sites (2) we werent looking for love when we met (3) he's 28, im 36, people that age in london share 50-50 in everything (4) that he spent a lot in amsterdam when we met, so it's my turn now. given, fine.

but talk about impatience. we've only been apart almost 2 months and he wanted me to go to him the minute i got back to the philippines! im just about to get a new job and where will i get the money to buy my ticket? people here will only let you borrow if they are assured youre going because of a job or that you'll be maximizing that visit. but to spend that much just for a month's visit is just ridiculous -- not for an ordinary filipino citizen like me.

my stuff are all for sale now but even if i sell them all, i still wont get to the amount i need...and only one month to do it!

#!%%^&&^(%#$!@~@##@%##@$%#$^#^$%!!!!

[James Hubbard]

OK...

So is this your current guy you're talking about ... the one about whom you have written "in a relationship" in your profile?

Has the dude ever been to the Phils?
hmmm

i am kinda lost for words here.

[ghee101]

OK...

So is this your current guy you're talking about ... the one about whom you have written "in a relationship" in your profile?

Has the dude ever been to the Phils?
hmmm

i am kinda lost for words here.

yes, he is. he's never been to the philippines. we met in amsterdam after my choir tour. he's kinda considering teaching english here or indonesia next year.

he's got this i'll-give-you-ultimatum-so-you-will-get-off-your-lazy-butt way of getting results :(

but coming up with my ticket fare in only a month is impossible, especially me being solo. no help from anywhere. and that is only for a month's visit to london! im not rich, heck -- im actually broke! i feel like giving up already when we fight, we make up within the day. its just sometimes, i dont know IF we're ever going to fix things. im always scared. i got this email last night from a friend:

"Shouldn't he be trying to prove himself worthy of you Ghee, isn't he, after all, the man? I never require you to be worthy of my friendship, Ghee! That is my point. I guess we're all different, my view is reversed. I would kiss the ground you walk on Ghee, but that is me. Every thinking head is different. I'm sorry your desire and goal for a serious, meaningful, and lasting relationship has to endure such childish and immature acts Ghee. :( Note that I am always here to be your source of encouragement, in other words, I'm a good shoulder...

With that kind of an attitude, ask yourself, is he worth it?! Ghee, I'm serious now, I'm not trying to discourage you, or break you up, but damn, do you love this guy that much? Is he worth selling all you have?! Is he about your happiness, or his?! I'm inclined to believe it's about his!! Why won't he foot the bill to get you over there if he loves you that much?! Why the hell is he placing ultimatums on you?! And don't contact him until it's done?!?! Wtf?!?! What are you going to do Ghee, what are you going to do?! $1200.00 is a lot of money in this messed up economy. Sounds like it's more "you" than "we" or "him" though! :( anyways, I wish you all success and happiness, Because I'm your friend, and I don't want to see you fail.

You are unique chubs, and if it works out for you, super duper, but if it doesn't, at least I know, and can give witness that you gave it your best shot, that you put your all into it. I respect you so much, I don't understand it, I guess love really is blind, but I do respect it. I'm almost jealous, I wish someone loved me like that, to give everything for me, I certainly wouldn't treat them like he's treating you, if anything, I would help to achieve the goal, I mean, doesn't he have things he can sell too?! sorry if I seem offensive, I just care about fair, I just want him fair with you, forgive me Ghee..Luv yah."

[mikey73]

hi ghee
sorry about your problems with your bf. would you not need a visa to vist here to see him? and that would take far longer than a month to do i would think and he would have to be involved in that process too.
hope things get better soon for you my dear.

[aromulus]

Dump the muppet and move on.

He is not worthy of your time.

[malditako]

Dump the muppet and move on.

He is not worthy of your time.

i definitely agree...so immature at his age...find a better one my dear..

[malditako]

ghee are u a UP madrigal choir member?..just curious

[raynaputi]

one selfish guy! I'm sorry ghee..i agree with dom & grace..dump him..he's not worthy..he can't even understand ur situation and can't trust u enough by doubting ur real intentions and basing it from ur past..

[RickyR]

Definately a selfish and childish guy. Not worth your time, your getting dragged into something that is only going to end up in someone being hurt.
If he was serious, he wouldn't have done any of these things. Time to move on.

[ca143]

dump him ASAP ghee....find someone else that genuine.

[Steve.r]

I'm with the other guys, what an arrogant The last thingyou need is to be fighting over the phone or internet, what do you think it would be like if you ever got to see him again?? Stay well away from this idiot. You can do so much better than him. If he had any respect for you he would do some research about life in Phils and be understanding of the situation and how difficult it is. Idiot!!!

Sorry if my words upset you Ghee, but really..... get someone who is a little more mature in his mind. And while I am on a roll, the hacker needs to be

[KeithD]

he blocked me on facebook and ym. i am not allowed to communicate with him, not even text him on the phone. i am only allowed to CALL him up till september 06 to confirm that i am going to him.

In all the years I've run this site that is the last thing you'd do in a relationship, that only happens when it's finished.

i WAS a bad girl. before

As long as you've learnt from the mistakes and are a better person, fine.

we fight everyday.

This is often quoted as a problem with a LDR, it's not, the vast majority of LDR's go smoothly and so they should. If you argue every day now, that is unlikely to change even when you're with the guy. So if you want a miserable existence then continue on this path. People get tampo in LDR's, yes, but most of the time it's over a misunderstanding.

....and he ask me to go to him, on my own efforts. that'll show him that i am really serious and committed.

He's the one that has to prove that to YOU, and to the EMBASSY as well if you've ever any hope of getting a fiancee/spouse visa. Asking you to go into debt in thr Philippines just for him is one hell of a selfish act and shows his lack of caring for you.

..... people that age in london share 50-50 in everything ....

No they don't

my stuff are all for sale now.....

Keep it, don't get rid of you're life for some waste of space, plenty of guys out there that will treat you right.

....and you have a good friend who talks sense and you....

[sars_notd_virus]

[FONT="Trebuchet MS"]

we fight everyday.


he blocked me on facebook and ym. i am not allowed to communicate with him, not even text him on the phone. i am only allowed to CALL him up till september 06 to confirm that i am going to him.

Ouch Ghee!!!! looks like the guy ended it.
OPEN YOUR EYES!!!
...you deserve to be happy!!!!

[sars_notd_virus]

duplicate...
sorry

[Steve.r]

Well said Boss

[stevie c]

i agree with all the other guys this guy is inconsiderate selfish & a demanding childish brat dump him ghee & say goodbye to bad rubbish

[pennybarry]

Dump him before you marry him.

It will be more hard if you marry a man like him.
He just dumped you without any warning signs so why wasting your valuable time with him and please don't insist yourself.

You are still lucky if you are still single as you can still see Mr. Right if you found Mr. Wrong.

Wakey wakey! Find someone as you're still young and beautiful.
Cheer up!

[bornatbirth]

the guy should be doing all he can for you!!!

why are some ladies so daft and fall for these morons

[KeithD]

It actually sounds like he wants to see how dumb you are so he knows he has full dominance over you ... his brains are in here >>>

[Doc Alan]

Dump the muppet and move on.

He is not worthy of your time.

Guess every member who has responded to your thread agrees on this advice ... please take it

[alanmf1]

ghee....dont do it ! move on....& soon.

[stevewool]

have you notice lots of men on here are saying the same thing, get ride of him, he is making most men look and sound horible but we are not and lots know that too, he has done you a favour by saying no contact, delete him number email and all that was he , you are on this site now with friends and i am sure it wont be long till there is someone saying, hi how are you , the boss has said something on here that is good take his advice and move on ghee,

[KeithD]

Someone has confused the word 'Love' with 'dominance' & 'blackmail'

[les_taxi]

I agree with everyone on here he is BAD news

People on this site will help you move on

[stevewool]

other then ash hes to busy designing his house with colour coordination

[James Hubbard]

It's all been said. Move on ghee. Thanks for the friend request!

PS: there are single guys on here who would treat you well

[-sillybilly-]

Hey Ghee i just hope your bf can read this thread soon so he realize what kind of a man he is.

Take the advice. DUMP HIM!

Theres a lot of men im sure that you will meet in the future. Look at you, you're beautiful and talented.

He's not worth it. Forget him i know its hard but you'll be fine and one day you'll be thankful that you have got rid of him.

[triple5]

blocking on FB and YM isn't that the final goodbye anyway Don't call till september, that's pretty up Seems like the age gap could be an issue. One's ready for a committed relationship, the others still a kid who probably doesn't know what he wants.

Plenty of guys out there who would be willing to travel to the phils and meet you. Tell him so and then say goodbye .

[James Hubbard]

Out of spite, call him on the 7th... and share this little nugget with him:

[Arthur Little]

... g(h)ee whiz, Angelica ... to read what's happened. But, whilst in principle with what others have said, I'D be inclined to put your "boyfriend" to the test ... by asking him when HE intends visiting YOU! Given the proportionately low success rate in relation to the sheer number of visitor visas applied for, this would seem to offer the most viable option in the circumstances.