he blocked me on facebook and ym. i am not allowed to communicate with him, not even text him on the phone. i am only allowed to CALL him up till september 06 to confirm that i am going to him.
okay, as much as i dont want to wash my dirty linens in public, i'll give you a little history.
i WAS a bad girl. before i met my bf in person, i wasnt even sure if he's serious or if we really are in relationship. him being younger than me, being cool, having lots of young asian girls on his list, all flirting with him openly. an ex friend of mine hacked my accounts, found out about him and communicated with him. this ex friend told my bf everything about me plus some lies. i admitted my sins, he forgave me many times. we met in person, realized the connection is not just online. we parted ways, chat daily. but what my hacker did to me put so many doubts in my bf's mind that he become suspicious of every single thing i do or say that no matter how we resolve our problems, it always comes back over and over again. he said he's sorry for punishing me even if we agreed i get a clean slate. we are just too frustrated for being away from each other now that we know how it is being together. we fight everyday.
and he ask me to go to him, on my own efforts. that'll show him that i am really serious and committed. life is hard as it is here in the philippines. if you read some forum entries, even those working for too long dont even have any savings. and he gave me only one month to confirm my booking!
yeah, we talked about the situation that (1) we didnt meet on dating sites (2) we werent looking for love when we met (3) he's 28, im 36, people that age in london share 50-50 in everything (4) that he spent a lot in amsterdam when we met, so it's my turn now. given, fine.
but talk about impatience. we've only been apart almost 2 months and he wanted me to go to him the minute i got back to the philippines! im just about to get a new job and where will i get the money to buy my ticket? people here will only let you borrow if they are assured youre going because of a job or that you'll be maximizing that visit. but to spend that much just for a month's visit is just ridiculous -- not for an ordinary filipino citizen like me.
my stuff are all for sale now but even if i sell them all, i still wont get to the amount i need...and only one month to do it!
#!%%^&&^(%#$!@~@##@%##@$%#$^#^$%!!!!
