Hello all. I'm Louis from Kingston, Surrey.

[louismc44]

I'm 65 years old..
Last year I met a woman online, she is from the Philippines.
Over the past year we have become deeply involved as one can ever be here over the internet.
I have tried to tell her a few times, that internet love does not work and have tried to call off our chats a few times, but we always seem to come back to the same problem.
How do I get her over here and to be come husband and wife.
I am single, never been married before. I don't work as I am now fully retired and I only have a state pension and I get housing benefit too.
I am also registered disable.
I can's see out government ever allowing me to have this relationship because of my situation.
I try to explain this to my internet girlfriend, but she feels very strongly that we can make it somehow..
I don't know what to do.
My question is....
I'm at lost at what to do.
Is there a way for us to be together?

[stevewool]

there is always a way if that is what you both want , yes its very hard and costly too, but if its what you both are wanting then you are on the right site to ask questions

[stevie c]

there is always a way if that is what you both want , yes its very hard and costly too, but if its what you both are wanting then you are on the right site to ask questions

yes steve is right i cant add to that except to welcome you to the forum louis

[rani]

welcome to the forum louis.. remember, love can move mountains so don't lose hope

[joebloggs]

you have to met her at least once to apply for a fiancée or a spouse visa. so you'll probably have to go and meet her in the phils, unless you can get her a visit visa (difficult to get)

do you have any savings ?

its not the gov that's stopping your relationship, its whether you can support her so she will not need recourse to public funds which will be your problem

[louismc44]

You know the strange thing is, I feel she really does love and care for me, and anyone with a half a heart can see this too.
I have fallen in love with her because of this.

[louismc44]

Thank you
Yes, it seems that you have done this too.
I told her from the 1st time we met here over the net, that we are too far from each other and I can not see it working our for us in my situation here in the UK.
I do want to be with her, I have come to love and care about her too..Not wanting to do so, but it happen and now I am at lost of what to do?

[louismc44]

Thank mate

[louismc44]

To be totally honest, I can not offically support her, but I can support her on my own income, without claining any allowences for her.
This I feel our governemt wil not allow me to do?

[stevie c]

Thank you
Yes, it seems that you have done this too.
I told her from the 1st time we met here over the net, that we are too far from each other and I can not see it working our for us in my situation here in the UK.
I do want to be with her, I have come to love and care about her too..Not wanting to do so, but it happen and now I am at lost of what to do?

LOUIS I THINK THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS ASK YOURSELF IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP & IF YOU WANT A FUTURE WITH THIS WOMAN IF YOUR ANSWER IS YES THEN YOU NEED TO GO TO THE PHILS TO MEET YOUR LADY THEN TAKE IT FROM THERE

[stevewool]

thats your problem then louis, you have to show that you can support her with out any support form the goverment , saving you must have too

[joebloggs]

To be totally honest, I can not offically support her, but I can support her on my own income, without claining any allowences for her.
This I feel our governemt wil not allow me to do?

if you dont have savings i think you will struggle..
what you get in benefits and pension is meant really to only support you, not your future wife.
and if you have no savings or other income then there is a risk that you will be refused a visa becuase she might need recourse to public funds.

have you family or friends who can loan you money for 6 months ?

[louismc44]

So you seem to be saying to me, that I must 1st go to the Phillipines and take it from there..Mmmmm interesting. A reality trip?

[louismc44]

Yes I have some friends who can loan me some funds, but also I have a little savings too.

[RickyR]

So you seem to be saying to me, that I must 1st go to the Phillipines and take it from there..Mmmmm interesting. A reality trip?

Yes definately, you'll know then whether this is something worth moving heaven and earth to make it happen.

Yes I have some friends who can loan me some funds, but also I have a little savings too.

There are ways to fudge the system, would take a lot of effort, and may be misleading, but it can work. If only to have a sum of money in your bank account for a few months showing that your more then capable of supporting her with that until she gets a job.

Good luck, and I know things will work out for the best in the end. You have some challenges ahead, but true love can overcome them.

[joebloggs]

does your g/f work ? is she skilled ? if she can get a firm job offer from the UK that should increase your chances of getting a visa, if you get married in the phils, once she has her spouse visa and lands in the UK she can start job hunting, and if she gets a job that would reduce the risk of her needing recourse to public funds.

if you can loan as much as possible for 6 months or so, say £5000+, and repay it once you get your visa.

[louismc44]

Here in the UK on benefits, we ae not alalaow to have more than £6.000 in our bank accounts. So I think I have to rule this one our, its a good idea, thanks

[louismc44]

Yes it does seem like a lot of hard work.
At my age I need to work smarter, not harder.

[joebloggs]

Here in the UK on benefits, we ae not alalaow to have more than £6.000 in our bank accounts. So I think I have to rule this one our, its a good idea, thanks

yes, not sure of the limit, you need to find out and make sure your under it..

you giving up so easily

also a possibility of using '3rd party support' thou relying on it alone might not be a good idea, but if you had some savings to , 3rd party support until recently was not allowed and i'm not sure ECOs are allowing yet..

http://www.gcnchambers.co.uk/gcn/new...81_297_and_317

[louismc44]

No real skills that I know of, but work is work and if she can get some?

[joebloggs]

No real skills that I know of, but work is work and if she can get some?

do you know anyone who could employ her ? or family or friends know of a company ?? it would help alot. - even if it was for a few months trial, as long as she got a written job offer..

savings, job offer and 3rd party support (say from a brother, sister etc who could offer support so she wouldnt need recourse to public funds)

and i think your not allowed to CLAIM MORE OF A BENEFIT BECAUSE YOUR WIFE is living there..

yes you got a hill to climb, but its not impossible..

[louismc44]

I'm not one of those who ask for help, then say ah but ???

[joebloggs]

oh don't rely on the 3rd party support the gov has not implemented it yet, no surprise there

you need to meet your lady and see how you get on.. then plan your visa and make sure its water tight so you don't get refused and don't need to appeal ..

good luck, i've got to go, my misses has just got back from work after a 12hr shift

[Dedworth]

Welcome Louis & good luck in your endeavours

[Arthur Little]

, Louis. I'M also a State Pensioner ... and the same age as yourself. Like YOU, I'd been conducting an online relationship with a lady from the Philippines. After a year of communicating almost daily, she and I finally met for the first time in *September 2008 when I visited her homeland. All went well - even better than either of us had hoped - and we celebrated my 64th birthday during the 3 weeks I spent there *then.

Being retired, I was able to make a second trip to the Phils in November that year. On THIS occasion we got married ... and I stayed for three months, whilst my wife applied for a Spousal Visa.

Between my two trips, I joined this forum - which was a great help to me. Consequently, I shall be more than happy to share my story if you so wish.

[Lancashirelad]

im far from an expert, but if you are both CERTAIN you both want to marry, maybe its better you go out there and marry in Phils, register the marriage here then bring her over on a spouse visa.
As your wife i think it would be easier to bring her over here, without as many financial checks?
maybe the experts here can say if this is another option to consider?

[mikey73]

hi louis
welcome to the forum

[louismc44]

Hello Arthur.
Thank you.Yes I would like to hear more of your story.
Regards...Louis

[louismc44]

I'm registered disabled.
I have a carer's allowance.
Could I not employ her as my carer?
Then she would be getting paid for taking care of me?
This money is allocated for my care and it would go to her instead of me.
What do you think of this idea?

[louismc44]

Thanks Dedworfh