Annulment Advice

[jonnijon]

Adultery is not a good road to go down Are not both parties doing the same thing???

[BrummieBoy]

Thank you all for your advice, I feel like a have stepped inside a minefield and I do not know where to step next!

The annulment side of things, although expensive, will be the easiest (and I use that word very loosely) thing for us to deal with, as I love Alou dearly and although 300,000 pesos is a lot of money to me, I think the future happiness her annulment and our subsequent marriage would far outweigh the cost.

Like some of you have mentioned I think it is the custody and visa's for Alou's children that will be the real battle, which is why I asked question three in my original post.

When Alou mentioned to her husband that she wanted an annulment, Alou also mentioned that she may consider taking her children abroad in the future. At no point has she mentioned a boyfriend (me) to any of her friends and family as she only wants to announce us being a couple when she knows there are no more barriers to keep us apart.

I know it was a mistake Alou mentioning the possibility of moving abroad in the future, but she did that without consulting me and she probably just wanted to get everything out in the open so she knew where she stood. Needless to say her husbands parents were not happy about the possibility of losing their grandchildren and her husband also said in the meeting with Alou that he would not allow his children to move abroad,

I am very, very grateful for all the help, advice and links you all have provided and, I am inclined to follow either boss's advice and try to shame him and his family into agreement or go down the detective route as I do not think her husband will make anything easy for us, so we may need to "force" him into the annulment and custody of her children.

[-sillybilly-]

Thank you all for your advice, I feel like a have stepped inside a minefield and I do not know where to step next!

The annulment side of things, although expensive, will be the easiest (and I use that word very loosely) thing for us to deal with, as I love Alou dearly and although 300,000 pesos is a lot of money to me, I think the future happiness her annulment and our subsequent marriage would far outweigh the cost.

Like some of you have mentioned I think it is the custody and visa's for Alou's children that will be the real battle, which is why I asked question three in my original post.

When Alou mentioned to her husband that she wanted an annulment, Alou also mentioned that she may consider taking her children abroad in the future. At no point has she mentioned a boyfriend (me) to any of her friends and family as she only wants to announce us being a couple when she knows there are no more barriers to keep us apart.

I know it was a mistake Alou mentioning the possibility of moving abroad in the future, but she did that without consulting me and she probably just wanted to get everything out in the open so she knew where she stood. Needless to say her husbands parents were not happy about the possibility of losing their grandchildren and her husband also said in the meeting with Alou that he would not allow his children to move abroad,

I am very, very grateful for all the help, advice and links you all have provided and, I am inclined to follow either boss's advice and try to shame him and his family into agreement or go down the detective route as I do not think her husband will make anything easy for us, so we may need to "force" him into the annulment and custody of her children.

On the annulment grounds if Alou can prove that her ex husband is now living with someone else then that be a good reason. Try to gather loads of information specially photos of them or some witnesses.
Or,She can speak to her ex that she will pay the annulment and what other does is, they pay the other party aswell just to agree with the grounds and annulment.
But if she cant it will be up to the lawyer on what kind of grounds she/he can press charges to get the annulment done. I am positive that lawyers can find the best way besides Alou and her ex have split up years ago. I dont think the Solicitor General will file a motion for reconsideration.

The only major problem she will have is getting a custody. Shes got 2 children and how old are they? Minor children are going automatically going to their mother's but if in the right age they will get involved and will have to appear in court and the Judges will ask them where do they wonna go.
Or..the Judges will decide.
The terrible part that Alou doesnt wonna think about is when one of her children will have to stay on the father's side and the other one for the mother.
Custody is going to be one of the terrible and torture part in her mind specially if she be battling her ex husband and inlaws! It will take time and more money involved.

[BrummieBoy]

[QUOTE=-sillybilly-;244987] The only major problem she will have is getting a custody. Shes got 2 children and how old are they? [/QOUTE]

Her two children are 9 and 11.

They have minimal contact with their father, although I do understand what you are say as when they find out about moving to a different country they may not want to go and could see their father as a way of staying in the Philippines. I do not think this will be the case as, if you see how close they are to their mother I cannot imagine either one of them wanting to be seperated from Alou.

And welcome back to the UK

[-sillybilly-]

[QUOTE=BrummieBoy;244997]

The only major problem she will have is getting a custody. Shes got 2 children and how old are they? [/QOUTE]

Her two children are 9 and 11.

They have minimal contact with their father, although I do understand what you are say as when they find out about moving to a different country they may not want to go and could see their father as a way of staying in the Philippines. I do not think this will be the case as, if you see how close they are to their mother I cannot imagine either one of them wanting to be seperated from Alou.

And welcome back to the UK

Thank you!
Now they are 9 and 11 and you said they are very close to their mother. thats one point that Alou will no longer have to worry about. And i think im sure her children would love to live with her abroad.

Anyways, goodluck on alou's annulment case.

[BrummieBoy]

I will be speaking to Alou around 2am, so I will see if we can talk this through and give her the links you have all provided as the more she knows, the better the decision she (and we) can make.

Thanks again all, you have been most helpful

[sars_notd_virus]

I will be speaking to Alou around 2am, so I will see if we can talk this through and give her the links you have all provided as the more she knows, the better the decision she (and we) can make.

Thanks again all, you have been most helpful

It is always good to start in a clean sheet so my advice for Alou is to talk and have an arrangement(in black and white,meaning properly signed by both parties) with Alou's ex that he have the knowledge and no objection when the annulment case is filed...
why? because the annulment case can be overturned and makes it more complicated,..all lawyers/solicitors knows about this (lawyers can make the right wrong and wrong to right)as long as they can earn money from the client they will go on the case..
I'm sure the Ex already have the hint on why Alou's taking her kids abroad??? you cannot contest the ex about adultery because he can also find a lawyer to defend him and file a case against both of you,,,you never know if he also got a plan so its better to be safe than sorry.

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/a...ice-help-us.do

[BrummieBoy]

It is always good to start in a clean sheet so my advice for Alou is to talk and have an arrangement(in black and white,meaning properly signed by both parties) with Alou's ex that he have the knowledge and no objection when the annulment case is filed...

Hello again Sars, Alou has already had a meeting with her husband and he refused the annulment and said that he would not allow his children to move abroad. Alou has been very, very careful not to let anyone know about our relationship, but, like you say, her husband will read between the lines and suspect there is another man involved, although he cannot prove anything.

I think he will not sign anything unless Alou finds someway to "force" him to do so.

If we cannot find anything to "push" her husband in the right direction, is the annulment still possible or are we just going to have counter-claim after counter-claim to drag this thing out?

[sars_notd_virus]

Hello again Sars, Alou has already had a meeting with her husband and he refused the annulment and said that he would not allow his children to move abroad. Alou has been very, very careful not to let anyone know about our relationship, but, like you say, her husband will read between the lines and suspect there is another man involved, although he cannot prove anything.

I think he will not sign anything unless Alou finds someway to "force" him to do so.

If we cannot find anything to "push" her husband in the right direction, is the annulment still possible or are we just going to have counter-claim after counter-claim to drag this thing out?

If this is the case,i will suggest that Alou files the Annulment case straight away with the grounds of Pyschological Incapacity

http://www.scribd.com/doc/35170102/C...cal-Incapacity

RULING:
Psychological incapacity must be characterized by (a) gravity, (b) juridical
antecedence, and (c) incurability. The incapacity must be grave or serious such that
the party would be incapable of carrying out the ordinary duties required in
marriage; it must be rooted in the history of the party antedating the marriage,
although the overt manifestations may emerge only after the marriage; and it must
be incurable or, even if it were otherwise, the cure would be beyond the means of
the party involved.

The use of the phrase “psychological incapacity” under Article 36 of the Code has
not been meant to comprehend all such possible cases of psychoses as, likewise
mentioned by some ecclesiastical authorities, extremely low intelligence,
immaturity and like circumstances. Article 36 of the Family Code cannot be
construed independently of but must stand in conjunction with existing precepts in
our law on marriage. Thus, correlated, psychological incapacity should refer to no
less than a mental (not physical) incapacity that causes a party to be truly
incognitive of the basic marital covenants that concomitantly must be assumed and
discharged by the parties to the marriage which, as so expressed by Article 68 of
the Family Code, include their mutual obligations to live together, observe love, respect and fidelity and render help and support. There is hardly any doubt that the
intendment of the law has been to confine the meaning of psychological incapacity
to the most serious cases of personality disorders clearly demonstrative of an utter
insensitivity or inability to give meaning and significance to the marriage. This
psychological condition must exist at the time the marriage is celebrated. The law
does not evidently envision, upon the other hand, an inability of the spouse to have
sexual relations with the other. This conclusion is implicit under Article 54 of the
Family Code, which considers children conceived prior to the judicial declaration of
nullity of the void marriage to be “legitimate.”
The well-considered opinions of psychiatrists, psychologists, and persons with expertise in psychological disciplines might be helpful or even desirable.


Wish you and Alou best of luck and hope u win the case

[BrummieBoy]

If this is the case,i will suggest that Alou files the Annulment case straight away with the grounds of Pyschological Incapacity
RULING:

Wish you and Alou best of luck and hope u win the case

Thanks again Sars

I knew from previous posts on annulment that Pyschological Incapacity would be Alou's only option for an annulment. I think I know of a very good reason she could use, but it may be very hard for Alou as it is a sensative subject.

Alou's father died three months before her wedding while helping some contractors who were fixing up the house Alou and her husband to be would be living in. Alou has told me that on most of her wedding pictures she was crying because she was still grieving for her father. But this is very personal to Alou and I do not want to bring back bad memories by suggesting that this could be a good reason to prove she was not in the right state of mind to get married.

It is a hard subject to talk about incase she feels like I am using her fathers death to my advantage.

Do you think it is worth mentioning to Alou, or shall I wait and hope that either she thinks of it herself, or her lawyer/solicitor come up with a different plan?

[sars_notd_virus]

Thanks again Sars

I knew from previous posts on annulment that Pyschological Incapacity would be Alou's only option for an annulment. I think I know of a very good reason she could use, but it may be very hard for Alou as it is a sensative subject.

Alou's father died three months before her wedding while helping some contractors who were fixing up the house Alou and her husband to be would be living in. Alou has told me that on most of her wedding pictures she was crying because she was still grieving for her father. But this is very personal to Alou and I do not want to bring back bad memories by suggesting that this could be a good reason to prove she was not in the right state of mind to get married.

It is a hard subject to talk about incase she feels like I am using her fathers death to my advantage.

Do you think it is worth mentioning to Alou, or shall I wait and hope that either she thinks of it herself, or her lawyer/solicitor come up with a different plan?

Your welcome Dave
Just give Alou the moral,emotional.financial support she needs while the case is on going
and dont forget to update us here

[ghee101]

Hello again Sars, Alou has already had a meeting with her husband and he refused the annulment and said that he would not allow his children to move abroad. Alou has been very, very careful not to let anyone know about our relationship, but, like you say, her husband will read between the lines and suspect there is another man involved, although he cannot prove anything.

I think he will not sign anything unless Alou finds someway to "force" him to do so.

If we cannot find anything to "push" her husband in the right direction, is the annulment still possible or are we just going to have counter-claim after counter-claim to drag this thing out?

annulment doesnt need the consent of the other party. if he's got another family, use that for grounds. fred is right, get proof and hold it against him.