Annulment Advice

[ghee101]

Tell Alou that if he doesn't agree she'll tell the school that he's living with another woman, speak to his local priest, and his parents priest, the other womans kids school, and any number of ways to embarrass him.

this is soooooooooo true. don't let him hold your future while he's having a party with his.

[ghee101]

This is quite a very weak excuse from an ex...
It would be safe for Alou to get a written agreement with the ex that he will have no objection with any of the annulment procedures to avoid future problems while the case is on going.

and schools only ask for marriage certificate of parents only once. only on the registration. they wont look at it every school year. what's written there wont change anyway. annulment is another set of paper.

[ghee101]

Remember that if he agrees to the annulment then you WONT be granted it, they don't allow collusion. The ideal situation is for the Husband to not agree, but also to not file protest. The law is against you when having an annulment and if she married in a Roman Catholic church, then the situation becomes a lot more complex.
It can be lengthy, and depending on the court can be a drawn out process. The idea of not attending to the court, well that will be very difficult if the procedure is followed correctly. If however a lawyer knows a willing judge, clerk and court who can may have additional brown envelope fees for fast processing then this could all be a different story.
I would agree, that she should consult multiple lawyers, and get a good idea of what she is about to do.

The situation isn't impossible, but she needs to know what she is getting into.

yes. in my case...i allowed my ex and my lawyer to ruin me. it's ok. that won't appear on the NSO papers anyway.

[ghee101]

Hello again Sars, Alou has already had a meeting with her husband and he refused the annulment and said that he would not allow his children to move abroad. Alou has been very, very careful not to let anyone know about our relationship, but, like you say, her husband will read between the lines and suspect there is another man involved, although he cannot prove anything.

I think he will not sign anything unless Alou finds someway to "force" him to do so.

If we cannot find anything to "push" her husband in the right direction, is the annulment still possible or are we just going to have counter-claim after counter-claim to drag this thing out?

annulment doesnt need the consent of the other party. if he's got another family, use that for grounds. fred is right, get proof and hold it against him.

[BrummieBoy]

Thanks for all your comments.

Ghee, if you are serious about mentioning the "option 2" to your lawyer let me know what they say as it would be interesting to get an second opinion.

[sars_notd_virus]

I have just had an update from Alou after she had seen her lawyer yesterday.

She has been offered two options.

1). Normal annulment and custody of her children - she has been told that this will take 18 months and will cost her 275,000 pesos.
2). Declaring that her husband is dead and therefore becoming a widow - she has been told this will take 2 months and cost her 70,000 pesos.

Hello again Dave

Sorry but i find the quote above strange!
Usually in every transaction u get a quick result and pay a high amount. but the quotation that the lawyer gave is a complete opposite.
I hope Alou can get a 2nd opinion from another lawyer as she can get the normal annulment and custody of children with the same amount 275,000 in a quick span of time.


Goodluck again

[sars_notd_virus]

In my mind I would have thought that the Fili officials must need some sort of official proof that her husband is dead, surely they would not just take Alou's and her lawyers word for it would they?

I have also asked what if we get married and we move to the UK, what would happen if her husband complained afterwards, I assume the marriage would be null and void.

Assuming that the judge approved and annulment is done with the 2nd option,,...where can Alou get an authenticated death cert of husband?
*Alou will be needing this d.cert before she marry again
*Death cert shld also be attached in her annulment papers when she applied for spouse visa.

[Terpe]

Brummieboy
I think there are many more people on this forum who are much more knowledgeable
about annulment than me.
However in my opinion you would be ill-advised to pursue option 2 (presumptive death)
Just how much evidence is needed is a questionable issue anyway.
The fact is that if you followed this option you must accept that the reappearance of the absent/missing/presumed dead spouse would immediately cause an automatic termination of the second marriage.

It seems possible to me that this 'hold' on your new marriage and future life together would doubtless be of almost daily concern.
The potential for 'blackmail' by the presumed dead spouse exists. I'm not saying it will happen in your case, but it exits as a potential threat.
Please think very very carefully.

[Ladybug_sim]

Brummieboy
I think there are many more people on this forum who are much more knowledgeable
about annulment than me.
However in my opinion you would be ill-advised to pursue option 2 (presumptive death)
Just how much evidence is needed is a questionable issue anyway.
The fact is that if you followed this option you must accept that the reappearance of the absent/missing/presumed dead spouse would immediately cause an automatic termination of the second marriage.

It seems possible to me that this 'hold' on your new marriage and future life together would doubtless be of almost daily concern.
The potential for 'blackmail' by the presumed dead spouse exists. I'm not saying it will happen in your case, but it exits as a potential threat.
Please think very very carefully.

Just add some of my opinion here and terpe is a bit right and like the opinion of Mr. Fred. It is better to look for a clean papers that can make you peace of mind when you live together.

For Alou, i can say that she need more evidence if her husband have another family like for example the birth certificate of their child if there's any from her husband's mistress. It is one that my friend hand for filing the case against her husband too if she can get it from the NSO much better. Annulment is a long process and things it is not really easy just try to be calm while you proceed on it and get some more information too. We have one client filing her annulment as i am working to the law office, first she paid it 20,000 for the papers to file the court then it is another amount when the case going on depend if they show to the court. We cant really figure out the amount on it coz it is depend on how the lawyer work. If you figure out how much is it means that they earn much then. Just do it for step by step so it less for the expense... good luck to both on you and the annulment case.. hope all be sorted soon

[ghee101]

they are usually "under the table" so it's about 4 months to say --a year. depending on the area.

but the normal procedure is a minimum of 2 years.

[BrummieBoy]

Thank you all once again for your help and advice

I must admit I thought this option 2 was too good to be true or else everyone would be doing it!

I will stress to Alou that she must speak to at least two other lawyers on a proper annulment before she goes ahead, and try and steer her away from option 2.

I am afraid that although your advice on shaming/pushing her husband into agreement is very good advice, Alou will not contemplate it because she is not that sort of person and does not want any potential problems between Alou and her husband affecting her children. It is frustrating because the husband is still controlling Alou's life even though he left her for another woman but Alou will not "rock the boat".

I will pass on all of your comments to her and see what happens next....

[ghee101]

and it is not a one time payment. to be sure you're getting the real deal, your lawyer will give you a breakdown of each step.

for every step, you can come with the lawyer or check every result and pay only after every step. the first is usually the psychological testing. my ex took that testing. yes, there should be proof that there's no collusion.

money talks. if you completed what's needed and got the money to finish everything, it's only matter of short time to get the annulment. the details on this webpage is quite realistic for all pinays getting annulment:

http://www.asawa.org/soannulment.htm

[LuisaKC]

Hello.
1st 300K is too much. 200k is a normal fee now for annulment 6-8 months. LEGAL . I talked to alot of annulment lawyers. 200K is too much already actually.
cause 100k is lawyers fee...
Psyc doc will cost . 30-50k
then the rest (filing docs , appearances etc ) are cheap.
( when u go to your psych doctor pls dont bring flashy jewelries,cars or anything else...look poor or he will ask for more)

2nd the husband SHOULDNT AGREE AT ALL TO ANY OF THIS. best he doesnt know you would file for annulment. HE having his own family now would be good for her case.
or SOG would say there was a connivance and can still reject the judges ruling.

3rd I am in the same position ( Kids in catholic school and all) The school doesnt have to know. And if they are already enrolled anyway there'll be no problem. Butstill, best is Talk to the school admin AFTER THE annulment ruling .

4th I feel for her not wanting to leave her kids and go to you... BUT her position is not impossible... specially if she has someone like you willing to pay for everything.

Good luck!

[rani]

Hello again Dave

Sorry but i find the quote above strange!
Usually in every transaction u get a quick result and pay a high amount. but the quotation that the lawyer gave is a complete opposite.
I hope Alou can get a 2nd opinion from another lawyer as she can get the normal annulment and custody of children with the same amount 275,000 in a quick span of time.


Goodluck again

mine was 250k... waited one year for the result
i appeared only once in court
have i ripped off???? that was 5 years ago

[sars_notd_virus]

mine was 250k... waited one year for the result
i appeared only once in court
have i ripped off???? that was 5 years ago

dont worry about it now sis rani,..its done and u got a good result,i think thats all that matters now?

[sars_notd_virus]

Every legal case has its complications,thats why we hire solicitors/lawyer to do the job for us..it can be a gamble, so,.. u just have to make sure the odds are stacked in your favor.

[rani]

dont worry about it now sis rani,..its done and u got a good result,i think thats all that matters now?

indeed!!!!

[grahamw48]

Also be aware that the British Embassy are not totally stupid and will check all documents relating to annulments with a fine tooth comb.

They will deport anyone found to have received a visa using fraudulent documents (eg death cert' of husband who is found to be still alive).

It's all this 'under the counter' stuff that makes it so hard for more straightforward applications.