Slightly different take on things folks, sorry.
For me it was a relief when my father died in 1985, he was a good man in many ways but in later years he made my mothers life a misery, he had serious alcohol problems it ruined our family life.
A smart capable professional man who had been seriously damaged by World War 2 but I never realised how much until after he died.
I was heartbroken, I had hugely mixed emotions when he died but ultimately he had made the previous fifteen years hell for all the family and that takes precedence in my memories.
My mother looked after him in his last two years he was 66 when he died primarily from Crohn's disease but there were other basic problems.
My poor mother was already suffering with ovarian cancer while she cared for my dying father, she lasted 9 months after he died, she was unaware of her illness, right to the end she always told us did not want to know if she had cancer. She died a day or two before my sister gave birth to twins, she never saw them which made me very sad.
A terrible thing to say but my mother's pain and torture at my father's hands was over, so my mothers death was also a relief.
It was a terrible time in my life that I am not sure I ever fully recovered from but at least they are at peace now.
Jim
