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Thread: Desperately Seeking Help for my Brother

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  1. #1
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie1958 View Post
    Hi Junior02

    I'm glad to hear that you daughter has recovered, that must have been a very worrying time for you. Thanks for asking about my brother, he hasn't shown any signs of recovery so far. After nearly 5 weeks, he is still unable to speak, eat, sit up, stand, is incontinent and is often completely vacant. On a good day, he will manage a smile if he recognises anyone. Sadly, his 6 year old son went to visit this weekend and he didn't recognise him at all.

    My brother lives in Malaysia and he is not part of the Philippines ex-pat community, he has a few business contacts there but that's it. The embassy will not assist with any financial help and all that I can do is try to support/ obtain settlement visas for his partner and son hoping that they will view it with compassion. I have to remain optimistic .......... it's my brothers only hope as without his partner, there will not be anyone to care for him.
    hi rosie i hope that your brother dose get better and im sure he will, and i do no what you are going through, and thanks for the kind words regarding my daughter, and like i said to you b4 your brother is in good hands in rp hospitals. has your brother got any american friends ther in philippines or malaysia with contacts in guam?


  2. #2
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Hi

    I realise that Guam is only about 1500 miles away from Philippines and that it is "occupied" by the US military. Not sure of the relevance of Guam but there is one American that I know of in the Philippines. Please can you clarify?

    The doctors in the Philippines do not appear to have any experience of my brother's illness which is why I am very keen to get him back to the UK and they are fully supporting this.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie1958 View Post
    Hi

    I realise that Guam is only about 1500 miles away from Philippines and that it is "occupied" by the US military. Not sure of the relevance of Guam but there is one American that I know of in the Philippines. Please can you clarify?

    The doctors in the Philippines do not appear to have any experience of my brother's illness which is why I am very keen to get him back to the UK and they are fully supporting this.
    hi rosie has your brother been in the armed forces?


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    Newbie (Restricted Access) kevinbrown10's Avatar
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    In the period of recovery patient needs more care. Today, there are several options are available for that in the form of Home Care.
    In home care you can see two categories one is full time and other one is part time. Those that do not need medical attention 24 hour can choose part time home care as an option. In this option, caregiver is hired to visit for a few hours each morning. Decides what needs to be done and then leaves the patient to his own routine. . In full time homecare nurses are hired to work full day, they leave in night and return back to the next morning. By this option patient never feel alone and the privacy of patient never get disturbed.


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    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kevinbrown10 View Post
    In the period of recovery patient needs more care. Today, there are several options are available for that in the form of Home Care.
    In home care you can see two categories one is full time and other one is part time. Those that do not need medical attention 24 hour can choose part time home care as an option. In this option, caregiver is hired to visit for a few hours each morning. Decides what needs to be done and then leaves the patient to his own routine. . In full time homecare nurses are hired to work full day, they leave in night and return back to the next morning. By this option patient never feel alone and the privacy of patient never get disturbed.
    ... thanks, Kevin for posting this information.


  6. #6
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    Thanks Rosie for another heartwarming update.
    BTW, how are his wife and son managing with their new life here in UK??
    Thanks Terpe, my brother’s partner and his son have settled in well in the UK. She is working part-time and enjoys her job but is homesick for her family. My 7 year old nephew loves school and is doing very well. His accent is changing and he sounds just like a little English boy. It has been an extremely difficult time for them both but they are now very excited and looking forward to going back to the Philippines for Christmas and will be there for a month.

    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
    I look like that normally
    Poor Rayna!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by imagine View Post
    its realy good to read how your brother is progressing, god bless
    Imagine, thank you for your kind comments and god bless you too

    Quote Originally Posted by kevinbrown10 View Post
    In the period of recovery patient needs more care. Today, there are several options are available for that in the form of Home Care.
    In home care you can see two categories one is full time and other one is part time. Those that do not need medical attention 24 hour can choose part time home care as an option. In this option, caregiver is hired to visit for a few hours each morning. Decides what needs to be done and then leaves the patient to his own routine. . In full time homecare nurses are hired to work full day, they leave in night and return back to the next morning. By this option patient never feel alone and the privacy of patient never get disturbed.
    Thank you Kevin for sharing that information. It is now a year to this very day since my brother first went missing and was found in the Philippines suffering from damage to his brain. He has made some very good progress but he is still not at a stage where he is able to do much for himself and needs constant supervision and help. He has double incontinence, forgets what he is doing, wanders off and cannot be left alone. He is currently too much for his Filipina partner to handle at home in the tiny house being rented, although the house could of course be changed but finances will not stretch to much. There are all sorts of social, financial and medical complications and at present, he has regular assessments to determine whether continuous care funding is still appropriate. I don’t really know where to turn next as I am not receiving any support ........... I will however, request a meeting with the nursing home manager soon and will consider options. (The advice when I met her last was to stay put.) In the meantime, I just need the care to continue for him and pray that the damage will continue to heal with time.


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    Hi Rosie.
    How is your brother? What is current status on his condition?
    I will not ask which hospital he is at, but do you have anyone keeping an eye to his
    condition etc?
    What I really mean is ......is anyone keeping an eye on the doctors to be sure they are not performing unnecessary and expensive test/procedures. Sorry to mention, but it can happen even at the best hospitals.
    I feel ashamed to mention this at this time.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    ......is anyone keeping an eye on the doctors to be sure they are not performing unnecessary and expensive test/procedures. Sorry to mention, but it can happen even at the best hospitals.
    I feel ashamed to mention this at this time.
    Of course this is always a concern when paying up front for diagnostic tests and treatment. Your GP and his neurologist colleague in the UK could advise once they know as much as possible about your brother.(Even in the NHS there is medical audit which aims to rule out unnecessary investigations or unproven / unconventional treatment.)


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    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Thanks for your concern Terpe and Doc Alan. Thankfully, my brother has an old friend watching over him this week whilst his filipina partner is in Malaysia closing down their condo.

    I have to say that I was absolutely amazed at the sheer number of different types of doctors that were "treating" my brother when this all began. There appeared to be a doctor for most parts of his body ...... including pulmonary doctor, special diseases doctor, cardiologist, neurologist, neurological surgeon, psychiatrist (although this one was released once they realised he was suffering from a neurological disease), numerous anaethetists as well as the "elderly & very wise" consultant who brought 17 other doctors with him (!)

    After 5 weeks in hospital, my brother is still unable to speak, sit/ stand up, eat, and of course is incontinent. He is still on a drip and has a nasal gastric tube to provide the nourishment he needs but thankfully his catheter has now been removed. They have started occupational therapy to try and teach him to eat again and also physiotherapy but progress is extremely slow. His 6 year old visited him last weekend but sadly, he didn't recognise his son and spends most of the time oblivious to what is happeneing around him.

    The neurologist is out of the country at the moment and returns next week when hopefully, he can then contact my local hospital with a referral. In the meantime, I have also asked the company that my brother was working for to help and they visited him in hospital this week but I am still waiting to hear from them ........

    I am hoping that there will be more positive news next week.


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    you said that your brother has had many different doctors to examing him, each doctor charges seperate from hospital bills in rp..


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    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by junior02 View Post
    you said that your brother has had many different doctors to examing him, each doctor charges seperate from hospital bills in rp..
    Yes, I found that out. They also don't accept debit or credit cards either which makes payment difficult too, particularly when large amounts are involved


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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie1958 View Post
    Yes, I found that out. They also don't accept debit or credit cards either which makes payment difficult too, particularly when large amounts are involved
    hi rosie,the hospitals will except credit or debit cards, you just have to inform your or your brothers cards company that its for payment from uk to rp. sorry late reply as at work at mo..


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    Quote Originally Posted by junior02 View Post
    hi rosie,the hospitals will except credit or debit cards, you just have to inform your or your brothers cards company that its for payment from uk to rp. sorry late reply as at work at mo..
    hi rosie, just to correct my last post, doctors in rp dont take card they are seperate from hospital bills but ther bills are on the same printout bill as hospitals but, hospitals do take cards. for there charges...


  14. #14
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Thanks Junior ....... following your post I did contact a friend in the US who used to be in the military and he explained about Guam too. It's another option if I am unable to get my brother back to the UK. I'm hoping that there will be some positive news on that front next week when his consultant returns from Europe.


  15. #15
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Yes, it's true and the cash machine at the hospital has never been so busy every day to pay each doctor! It would be so much easier if the hospital could just take one payment for everything and distribute it to all concerned. I know that would also involve an admin cost but would be happy to pay it just to make life easier


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    Unfortunately some hospitals in the Philippines operate like this and I have no idea why. Some hospitals are much better and run a complete billing system.
    Please keep us informed on the progress, and if there is anything we can do to help, please feel free to get in touch.


  17. #17
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Thank you Ricky, I will. I am hoping that this forthcoming week is a good one as the consultant returns to the hospital from Europe and will hopefully be able to move things forward and obtain a successful referral to a UK hospital. Visa applications will hopefully also be submitted for my brother's family now that documents have been obtained from Malaysia.


  18. #18
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Hi

    I wonder if anyone can help with a quick question. Under normal circumstances, my brother would be the sponsor for his partner and son's visa application but he is totally incapacitated and can't read, write or speak let alone complete a sponsorship form. I have to get him back to the UK as quickly as possible as according to the latest MRI scans, his condition appears to becoming worse.

    In view of the situation, I have completed a sponsorship form with supporting letter but I am not sure if I am actually allowed to be the sponsor and under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be. The visa application form asks for details of the relationship with the sponsor, how you met, dependents etc and now I am confused ........ Is anyone able to advise about rules regarding sponsorship?

    Thank you
    Rosie


  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie1958 View Post
    Hi

    I wonder if anyone can help with a quick question. Under normal circumstances, my brother would be the sponsor for his partner and son's visa application but he is totally incapacitated and can't read, write or speak let alone complete a sponsorship form. I have to get him back to the UK as quickly as possible as according to the latest MRI scans, his condition appears to be becoming worse.

    In view of the situation, I have completed a sponsorship form with supporting letter but I am not sure if I am actually allowed to be the sponsor and under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be. The visa application form asks for details of the relationship with the sponsor, how you met, dependents etc and now I am confused ........ Is anyone able to advise about rules regarding sponsorship?

    Thank you
    Rosie
    hi rosie, im not sure but i think you can fill in the seperate sponsership undertaking form in your situaction, joebloggs mite be the member to give you sound advise, also you could try the ukresidents forum i think the ad is www.ukresidents.com for some advise.
    Last edited by junior02; 5th October 2010 at 21:07. Reason: wrong web site adres


  20. #20
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Thanks Sars, Graham and Junior02.

    It's hard to think straight at the moment but I have contacted the Visa Helpline again tonight in the hope that they can advise further about acceptable sponsorship in view of the exceptional circumstances.

    Completing the visa online application form with my brother's partner is also quite difficult at the moment in view of our different locations, the time difference and also my being at work, but we are constantly emailing each other. I have supplied a supporting letter and a sponsorship form with all of my personal details (just in case this is what is required) and the hospital will be providing their letter tomorrow too hopefully.

    I will of course also check out the website address provided too.

    Thanks again for your help.
    Rosie


  21. #21
    Trusted Member sars_notd_virus's Avatar
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    Hello Rosie

    I hope the British Embassy will take this case in consideration if you do the letter of support in lieu of ur brother and also attached all his medical records and a letter from his GP, as per the visa application form why not complete it online with ur sister-in-law.

    Hope everything goes well with u and ur family..
    ''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''


  22. #22
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    Hi Rosie.

    Have you tried emailing a detailed description of your brother's predicament (and that of his family) to the UK Border Agency and seeking their advice ?

    There will be SOME human beings there, hopefully.


  23. #23
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    Include a letter, explain everything. Explain the full situtation, and also explain how his wife will be sorted, and where she will live once in the UK. As long as you can satisfy that she will be supported, and have a place to stay you will meet most of the Border Agency requirements.


  24. #24
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Thanks Ricky, I have included everything in the supporting letter that I have prepared and sent to my brother's partner .... it's just the completion of the application form itself that is confusing since there are unique circumstances involved. I guess I now need to wait for the reply from the agency .... unless of course Joe Bloggs arrives in the meantime


  25. #25
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Visa applications submitted online a few days ago and supporting documents produced today when biometric data also taken. Fingers crossed the Entry Clearance Officer will have a heart and approve the applications quickly as I need to get my brother back to the UK for further hospital treatment as soon as possible ..........


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    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    Hoping for an approved visas for your brother's family Rosie and for his fast recovery..


  27. #27
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raynaputi View Post
    Hoping for an approved visas for your brother's family Rosie and for his fast recovery..
    Thank you so much Rayna

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Alan View Post
    It's hard to believe you started this thread about 3 weeks ago Rosie. Let's hope it won't be much longer before your brother gets to the UK for further treatment.
    Me too Doc Alan. Unfortunately, because of numerous complications, reaching this stage has taken a lot of time and effort as well as a trip back to Malaysia to obtain supporting documents, close down the home, sell the car, ship furniture and effects, try and access/ transfer the bank account etc. etc. Having said that, if I were in sole control of the situation and not reliant on others, he’d have been back in the UK well before now.

    The good news is that the hospital say that he is now well enough to fly with a doctor and nurse but I’d like this to also be confirmed by the UK hospital too before transportation.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie1958 View Post
    ...The good news is that the hospital say that he is now well enough to fly with a doctor and nurse but I’d like this to also be confirmed by the UK hospital too before transportation.
    That is very good news Rosie. Our prayers remain with you and yours.


  29. #29
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    It's hard to believe you started this thread about 3 weeks ago Rosie. Let's hope it won't be much longer before your brother gets to the UK for further treatment.


  30. #30
    Trusted Member Rosie1958's Avatar
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    VISA APPLICATIONS APPROVED!!!!

    I am absolutely DELIGHTED to announce that Unmarried Partner and Child Settlement Visa applications were approved today!!!!!!! I am so relieved and haven't stopped smiling. They will be available for collection on Monday. I am so grateful to everyone for their advice and support, thank you so much!

    The next stage is to arrange my brother's referral and transfer to a UK hospital and that telephone call is being made by the consultant tomorrow, so fingers still crossed that he will be accepted.


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