Newbee Calling

[forester]

Yip ,my mother died 3 years ago this month and my father was of the generation when a man did nothing ( I bet this causes some comment!)

He has always drunk heavily despite being a physician and when my mother died he got worse, about a litre of spirits a day, and expected my brother and I to look after him.

Set meal times 6.00am for breakfast, lunch 9.30am, supper 3.15pm and bed 5.00pm.
We managed for nearly 9 months, but could'nt do it any more knackered.

In the care home he is down to 3 litres a week and my brother and I go in day about to take him out for a smoke 7.45am.

had a stroke in July which left him paralyised down hi sleft side and at 87 it isn't getting better quickly.

Filipinos are lovely to him, he doesn't know he is being spoiled!

[Terpe]

Yip ,my mother died 3 years ago this month and my father was of the generation when a man did nothing ( I bet this causes some comment!)

He has always drunk heavily despite being a physician and when my mother died he got worse, about a litre of spirits a day, and expected my brother and I to look after him.

Set meal times 6.00am for breakfast, lunch 9.30am, supper 3.15pm and bed 5.00pm.
We managed for nearly 9 months, but could'nt do it any more knackered.

In the care home he is down to 3 litres a week and my brother and I go in day about to take him out for a smoke 7.45am.

had a stroke in July which left him paralyised down hi sleft side and at 87 it isn't getting better quickly.

Filipinos are lovely to him, he doesn't know he is being spoiled!

This strikes a chord with me!!!
I left my life in Japan to return to UK to take care of my mum & dad. Carina was the one who insisted.
As of now I am still taking care of my dad. Mum passed on 2007.
I do feel obliged, and whatever anyone will tell me I can't help myself.
This is despite having the most awful childhhod. I left home at 17. Couldn't take anymore. Just cannot understand how my mum how/why mum put up with it.
Alcohol was more important to my dad than his family.

[forester]

I understand how you feel and how you also feel obliged to look after your father.

We control his alcohol by watering it down, but when we go to see him it is not like visiting someone, he has little jobs for us to do such as moving things, tidying the room, cleaning his teeth, shaving him etc.

we laugh about it now and are threatening to get T shirts printed with word "SERF" on them!