Against All Odds

[Makeitreal]

Thanks guys! Well, I would say we have a big age gap (with my bf) but he's not in his 50s yet. I'm in late 20s now. My bro has his own family though. Just like tomboo mentioned, my bro thinks that not all foreign boyfriends are visiting phils with only good intent, and he even thinks that it's only a game about getting the girl into bed, then leave. I don't blame him for thinking that, it really happens. But in our case, I'm 99.9% that my bf is genuine and sincere. Thing is, my bro is in a Western country now and I think he has the reason to think negatively as he might have seen more of the worst situations which I believe though is unfair for my bf to be judged in such a way. If time will come that I have to choose, I'll definitely choose my bf. It's just sad to know that one of my fam members isn't happy for us. He's the only big bro I have but I find it hard for him to understand that I need to have a life of my own. I had explained things to him but didn't bother to accept even a single word from me. He was too angry about it :(

[dontpushme]

Hey Makeitreal! You know what? That's actuallynot too wide an age gap. And if you think about it, the only person whose opinions matter is yourself. If, from the bottom of your heart, you believe that there's nothing wrong with your relationship or with your man, noone has the right to try and make you change your mind. Your brother can sulk or yell or threaten all he wants. It's not his life he's trying to ruin but yours. I hope you never have to choose between the family you grew up with and the man you'd like to spend your life with. But if push comes to shove, just remember that you're an adult and your brother's gonna have to learn to treat you like one.

I don't think you should keep trying to explain to your brother. It sounds like you've tried a few times already and it may be like talking to a brick wall. You'll just have to show him how happy you are. It may be time to let actions speak louder than words. If your brother didn't give your man a chance when they met face to face, he's not gonna do it now that he's far away.

I'm sure your brother means well, but it's high time he allow you to be the adult that you are. That's something a lot of Filipinos/Filipinas have a tough time swallowing. We're all raised to put our family's opinions first. But if you live your life choosing what they want for you instead of what you want for yourself, you're never gonna be happy. Besides, all that matters is that you found a good man, right? He's loving, supportive, doesn't mind that you've got a kid already, is willing to follow you to the ends of the earth (or to the Philippines, at least), wants to learn more about your culture, and he tried his hardest to get your family to like him. Don't you think you deserve that kind of man?

I hope your brother comes around soon.

[Makeitreal]

That's something a lot of Filipinos/Filipinas have a tough time swallowing. We're all raised to put our family's opinions first. But if you live your life choosing what they want for you instead of what you want for yourself, you're never gonna be happy. Besides, all that matters is that you found a good man, right? He's loving, supportive, doesn't mind that you've got a kid already, is willing to follow you to the ends of the earth (or to the Philippines, at least), wants to learn more about your culture, and he tried his hardest to get your family to like him. Don't you think you deserve that kind of man?

I hope your brother comes around soon.

Thanks Denise! I can see your point on this one. I got nothing to say about my man, he's superb for me! It's just my bro who doesn't like him, whatever his reason is, I'm totally clueless.


I thank you all for giving me the insight. It helps a lot! I hope when I get to talk to big bro again, there'll be a better outcome. Hope it won't turn him to a monster then