best way to provide on going support for son(3 months old at moment) in phil

[Geof]

Hi, i have a 3 month old son on phill (only made love 2 times but none the less DNA shows it as positive, chatted before but only met her in person for several days when i took a short holiday from my work in the UK- hindsight is a wonderful thing).

I do not fully trust the mother as she has ask for money (prior to being pregnant) for things that do not make sense (ie £500 to buy rice for a stall due to cash flow). even one of her friends got my contact details and said not to trust her or her family.

I am arranging to be on the birth cert and will try and sort out UK passport for son.

I am after both short term and long term advice:
What expenses can i pay directly?
Is there health insurance i can pay for?
Education?
Can I set up a trust fund or buy assets in my sons name?
Anything else i need to consider?

At the moment I am transferring cash (as no alternative) but have no way of knowing if any of it at all is going to my son.

My preference would be to pay as many things direct as possible or through a controlled fund, and then send cash on top to cover everyday minor expenses.

Any advice appreciated.

We are on good terms but rarely chat.Only seen a few pics at the time of birth.There is a risk she may claim child support through courts but that is a risk I have to take. If she mentions courts then i could threaten to send the bare minimum ordered but that might not be best for my son.

[Steve.r]

Sorry to hear that this could be a problem for you, but maybe you should be happy that you have a healthy child.
On a practical aspect, who did the dna test? how do you know the results? do you have an official certificate ?
Surely you should be in daily contact with the mother, I am sure I would want to be. Throwing money at this 'problem' as far as I see it will only make the 'problem' worse. WHy not go there and get a few real facts?

[stevewool]

wow geof, a lesson for all off us to learn here,, well sorry to say this as steve has already but what prof do you have, and be very carefull what you are about to send you can always put the money into a savings account here till you know the facts, its very good off you to take control off what has happened but just be very carefull,

[somebody]

Yes there is a Health insurance I think its something like Phill health reduces bills but cost little by UK standards some of our other users will rember more details than me

Im sure you could remit directly to the school but may take some doing. How would she claim child support from you? I know you feel a moral obligation but I doubt she would get far. Most child support claims are processed in the UK to stop the UK State having to pay benefits etc. I may well be wrong but i not read or heard of any Uk Male being ordred to pay child support in Phill especially if he is resident in the UK.

You could possibly set up a Bank account via say PNB or equitable who have offices in the UK where you supply a debit or atm card where you can release funds into the account and possibly see on the statement where the money went to a degree...

[keithAngel]

there are other add on health insurance starting at about 9000 piso a year based on reclaiming from hospital reciepts or 750 dollars US for directly dealt with claims it should be possible to pay for schooling direct or perhaps find an expat in the area to help out

Where in the Phils is your son?

Are you conversant with local earnings? and costs?

Please give the details on the dna testing, where was it done from what source etc

[grahamw48]

First off Geof, I take my hat off to you for facing up to your responsibilities.

You've found yourself in a situation that so many guys would run away from, and actually probably happens quite frequently, except that the fathers are ignorant of the fact that they have a child in a 3rd world country who could probably do with a dad.

I have a lovely boy who's mum is a Filipina, and the thought of him not being with me throughout his life would be almost too much to bear.

Anyway, as regards your immediate situation:
I can suggest a health insurance scheme that I know a few ex-pat friends of mine have used. Try looking here - http://www.omnibrokers.com.ph/

Probably the biggest favour you could ever do for your child is to have his birth properly registered with the British Embassy in Manila.
He will then be a British Citizen.

That is sooo important ! The sooner the better.
Certainly that would be my priority.

I'm sure the child won't be neglected, as that is not the Filipino way, but making sure funds go to where you want them IS going to be a major headache. Because of that I would would send very little money until you have established that it is being spent as you would wish.
The minimum (and probably average) wage in the Phils is only 4 or 5 pounds a day, so work things out from there.

You're asking some big questions here, so do keep asking, and I'm sure others on here will come up with some good advice.
Hopefully I'll come up with something else too.

Best of luck.

[Terpe]

Geof,

Like others have said, under the circumstances you now find yourself in, at least you seem willing to stand to the mark.

I will do my best to give some suggestions, but in reality it's outside my scope of experience. So please accept with the spirit with which it's given.

From the information you have given, there already appears to be some warning signs, I feel that you recognise this yourself from the way in which you have raised your questions.

What expenses can i pay directly?

The child is still really quite young and the short term needs would most likely be food, (milk etc) clothing (remember that babies grow so fast).
I can't think that there are any expenses here that you could pay directly. Unless the mother is willing and able to provide itemised receipts. (may not be good to ask?)
I believe there would need to be some trust between you if you will continue to send cash.
An alternative could be that you send food and clothing to the mother via a Balikbayan Box. This would need to be on a regular basis. This would likely be more expensive than the equivalent costs in Phils, but at least it's direct contribution.
As the child gets older this way would become more difficult.

You will need to use some common sense for costs as the child gets older. Keeping in mind the average income is OK up to a point (for everyday things) but often medicines and medical treatments can be very expensive. Just be aware. It is possible to get receipts for this, but how will you react if the mother says she forgot? You may need to contact hospitals direct.

I feel it's going to be a difficult for you to keep a level head when you are asked for large sums for the sake of your son! (despite your best intentions) and you will find your heart rules your head.

Health Insurance would be a very good idea. At least you will have a fairly secure way to check on the actual costs of any treatments/ services.
There is some very good information on recent posts on this forum. Please do some searching.
Philhealth is the govt scheme and runs at about P100 per month So a very small cost.
I believe this covers 40% - 50% of medical costs.
Education will need to be paid for.
When the time comes you should be able to have some inputs into the actual school. Payments will be relatively easy to be made direct to the school. Books, uniforms etc
can be paid to the mother. The school will tell you whats needed and the estimated costs.

Regarding trust funds etc. I leave to others to make suggestions


I would only add, that please also consider the needs of the mother. She will likely be the one who is providing the love, care time and attention on a daily basis. It's not solely about the child.

I feel sure this thread will continue with lots of good advice. You came to the right place as this forum has plenty of good people all willing to help and support and all very active on this site.

[Terpe]

Geof,
Forgot to mention that the CSA does have a recipricol agreement with Phils.
Please see here:-
http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/case/remo.asp

I don't know the agreement details, but in principle the mother could go through the courts if she had a mind to. Just to complete your information.

[Arthur Little]

Geof ... ! I also applaud you for taking what would appear to be your "responsibilities" seriously. But, equally, I can understand your wariness! Work commitments permitting, what are the chances of your visiting mother and child in the Phils - and having the DNA test properly verified - in order to gain a clearer insight into the complete 'picture'?!

[dontpushme]

Geof, I know you can set up a trust fund for your son. I just don't remember how my friend did it. LOL. I'll be happy to ask around if you want to do that.

[malditako]

i agree with grahamw48 the important thing u can do to your sons future is registering him to the british embassy and get him a passport. it is important that he carry ur name on his birth certificate in the philippines...and dont worry about ur child as for sure he will be love by all (his mum and family) there.

[Geof]

Thanks everyone for you replies, will take a while to investigate it all. More help than I expected for which I am great full. The DNA test was here as we both send samples direct to a lab I chose. I will get the UK passport for my son sorted out as a priority. I know the mother will be gicing a lot of time and i will of course take account of that (lost income etc). I know little about Phill just what I have read.
Health is my priority as I do not know what is freely available in Phill & guess it is a lot different to the uk in regards to immediate help and emergency services. I will try and sort any documentation out asap just in case there are any time limits.

Does anyone know if there are any benefits to both of them visiting the UK and registering with the NHS/GP or registering with anything else here?

[Arthur Little]

The DNA test was here as we both send samples direct to a lab I chose. I will get the UK passport for my son sorted out as a priority. Does anyone know if there are any benefits to both of them visiting the UK and registering with the NHS/GP or registering with anything else here?

Since paternity has already been established, your infant son would be eligible for registration with the NHS and a GP ... being the child of a British Citizen ... as soon as his passport is issued. However, his mother could not avail herself of free medical treatment - even if she were granted a Visit Visa - without first being either engaged or married to you. Good Luck with your plans.

[malditako]

regarding ur childs health...make sure he gets all the necessary vaccines for him...they can get it in the local health center free..he may get free bcg, chicken pox, measles vaccines and hepa a but the rest u need to go to private doctors to have them and pay the fee which a bit expensive.

[Arthur Little]

regarding ur childs health...make sure he gets all the necessary vaccines for him...

..., Grace!