A similar issue has cropped up for us recently. Grandma in Phils is in hospital and a "query" was made about borrowing money to pay the hospital, although no specific amount was asked for.
As far as I'm concerned we're already sending to the extreme limit that I'm happy for us to send, but as we have money put aside to send the family for Christmas, I said we could send money to help, but it would come out of the Christmas "fund". This is what happened in the end.
Admittedly the extra we sent was not a lot at all, and I felt bad putting my foot down on finances when this was over a medical reason. But as has been said, the family would of coped if I wasn't around, so they will still cope now.
