Left by Fiance!

[Emma Julia]

I was with my fiance for almost 8 years in Canada. He works in the Uk and also a British Citizen. He ws convincing me to move here for so many years but I keep refusing till this year 2010 that I finally agreed. I arrived last February and we ourselves a place. I went back to Canada to picked up my children which he is the only father that they have known. He is not their biological father but he was very good to them. I brought the kids here and we were happy living together and one day he left us saying that it is wrong that his divorce is not final yet. He promised me and the kids that he would look after us and that life would be so easier that we don't need to fly back and forth. We were devastated but we can't do anything. I have given up everything I had in Canada, such as home, families and I spent enormous amount to move all our belongings here. Everything is expensive for us because we are spending my savings as Canadian dollars converted to sterling pounds. The rented house that we have should be renued on February and I don't kow what to do that I cannot work legally.

My question is, could an immigration lawyer help us to stay here even if he is no longer with me. Isthere anyone who could perhaps give me an immigration lawyer

[Emma Julia]

name. Is there anyone who had similar experienced. Please help! My children really likes it here and wants to live close to him regardless of what he did. What can I do?

[joebloggs]

what type of visa did you arrive in the uk on ?

[Emma Julia]

Tourist and I have gone to the Canada three times since February 2010

[Emma Julia]

Sorry, I came here as a tourist and gone back to Canada three times since February 2010.

[IsaBella]

Hello Emma Julia,

I really hope someone could help you with your problem. I feel so bad for your kids and you probably trusted him so much for your life here in the Uk. Theres few people here that could give you some tips and ideas the best possible way to look after this problem. God Bless! Please hang on.

[LuisaKC]

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. Keep Praying. Im sure u'll find a way.

[rani]

its really sad reading experiences like this... just hold on and be strong emma julia... everything will fall into its proper places... advices from other members will be posted soon

[Rosie1958]

I am so very sorry to hear about your circumstances Emma Julia, you must be besides yourself with worry. I do hope that someone here will be able to advise/ help as an immigration lawyer is bound to be expensive but I believe that there is a thread that has been "stickied" on this website about a UK lawyer called Colin Harris.

[KeithD]

I think others will verfiy this this but shifting your whole life here on a tourist visa was definitely the wrong thing to do, that is not what a tourist visa is for.

As far as I'm aware you'll have to go back to Canada as you have no legal connection to the UK.

[sars_notd_virus]

Hi Emma Julia welcome here!!!

Yeah i know it is sad, but i'm afraid you have to go back to Canada because of your status here as a tourist,...you cant run after a man who makes you move here and left you and made your life miserable.
hope you sort everything quickly and move on ....Goodluck to you and your kids.

[RickyR]

Essentially yes, it seems your husband has done something very unfair to you. He has lead you into an awful situation, but I would consider visiting citizens advice and see whether they can offer legal aid, you situation is exceptional.

[joebloggs]

Sorry, I came here as a tourist and gone back to Canada three times since February 2010.

are you Canadian ?
why have you gone back 3 times since feb 2010 ?
have you lived together for at least the last 2yrs?,if so you might have been able to apply for a Unmarried Partner Visa if you had evidence you had lived together at least for the last 2 years.

i doubt any lawyer can help you because your b/f has left you

but maybe http://www.iasuk.org/home.aspx will give you advice ..

[Emma Julia]

I would like to thank each one of you who responded. The reason why I have gone back to Canada is for my treatment. I am a breast cancer patient and he was helping me to take care of the children as he had taken them as his own. He was a wonderful father and a husbang to me till we came here in the UK. His wife decided not to sign the divorce papers and instead for them to try it again. As soon as she found out that I am here she tried everything that she could in order to bring him back home to them. Their children are now over 20's but she convinced them to go back to school so his financial responsibilities will continue. The church that he goes to with her before talked to him to go back to his wife and he did because it is the right thing to do as a christian. It is really hard for me to comprehend how he could leave us. It is not just a one year relationship but almost 8 years. I wanted to go to court for financial support with the children's biological father but he topped me because he said that from now on the children are his responsibility.

[bher]

sorry to hear about your situation now emma julia.. will pray for you and your kids...

[Emma Julia]

Thank you kindly.

[Emma Julia]

Please don't make me feel that I came here because I am running after a man. He came to me and courted me and asked my hand to marry him. We have been a couple or a husband and wife in Canada to all our friends, families the school that the children goes to, he introduced himself as a father to everyone. He phones the school for all the children affairs. So please, I am not here because I happened to chose to go after a man.

[Emma Julia]

The message above is for SARS.

[IsaBella]

Emma Julia,

As I can see, you waited for a long time to come here because of various reasons. If you are just after a man, you would have rush here the minute he asked you to come. You are in love with him and so as your childen. It's almost 8 years and indeed it is not running after a man. You have trusted him with your life especially now that you have cancer. He has to look after you!!

[malditako]

I would like to thank each one of you who responded. The reason why I have gone back to Canada is for my treatment. I am a breast cancer patient and he was helping me to take care of the children as he had taken them as his own. He was a wonderful father and a husbang to me till we came here in the UK. His wife decided not to sign the divorce papers and instead for them to try it again. As soon as she found out that I am here she tried everything that she could in order to bring him back home to them. Their children are now over 20's but she convinced them to go back to school so his financial responsibilities will continue. The church that he goes to with her before talked to him to go back to his wife and he did because it is the right thing to do as a christian. It is really hard for me to comprehend how he could leave us. It is not just a one year relationship but almost 8 years. I wanted to go to court for financial support with the children's biological father but he topped me because he said that from now on the children are his responsibility.

being a christian myself i think with ur situation leaving u just like that is unfair and unjust...God is forgiving and for sure He doesn't want any of us to suffer like that just b'coz of that small paper of marriage...get him to sort out things for u to get back the life u have in canada..het him help u....

my prayers are with u and with ur kids.

[Emma Julia]

Thank you gparry,

I asked him to helped me, actually begged him to just pay for all my expenses because I coul not afford to bring my belongings back to Canada. I spent 10,000.00 for relocating and when I came here since February I spent another 20,000.00. I was patient with him thinking that when he is able to finalize everything then we could help each other financially. He has a very good position as a senior Engineer in a prestigious firm here in the Uk. But I am financially exhausted. My family tuened their back on me because they thought I had fooled them regarding him. When they discovered that I was being treated unfairly then they got so angry at him. Last week I went to Canada for my treatment and I have taken one of my daughter. My other daughter stayed with him. I got a phone call from him at 1:30 am asking me to look for a babysitter for our 11 year old daughter because he was threaten by his wife to be reported to social services that I have abandoned my daughter. I was frantically searching for any possible person who could helped me. Luckily I attended a prayer meeting a week prior to my trip to Canada and had exchange info with some people. I phoned them and asked for help. They had offered and went to my house right away to be with my daughter. All of a sudden I could not move my body and i could not breath of all the stres

[Emma Julia]

sed and the ultimatums when they had given me 1.5 hours to look for babysitter otherwise they would phone the social services. My family phoned the ambulance and I was given oxygen and CPR and naturally my chemo treatment was not given to me because I was to weak to be treated. I came back to the UK and was contacted by the social services. The wife informed them that I left my daughter to a stranger who was not comfortable to look after my daughter. I told them that he is my commom law husband that my daughter calls Daddy and the only father that she knows. They were so upset with them as well but they had to do what they must do and that to talk to me but she confirms that they will not do any actions as he agreed to look after her. I had proof that he signs to all of the children's affairs. Nonetheless, it was very stressful and I felt so tired and sick. I requested for him to accompany me to the social services and he agreed but the social worker phoned me at home and upon explaining to her that I was in Canada for my treatment and not just on holidays she agreed tat i don't need to see her. The wife was so upset that i did not get in trouble

[Emma Julia]

She accused me of telling social services loads of lies.

[Emma Julia]

Gparry,

I am willing to give way, as a matter of fact I did already. I am just asking if someone could help me that I could stay here.

For my own sanity and for my children, I called the wife and arranged for a meeting to tell her that I am not after her husband but all I wanted is for him to have in contact with my girls. He is the father of our children. He cared for them, he put them to sleep and hugs them and was there, every single Sunday to go to church with them. One of my condition in coming here is for him to raise our children as Christians. I have nothing left financially. My family turned their backs on me. They felt disrespected.

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Rosie,

I will google Colin Harris.

[sars_notd_virus]

Please don't make me feel that I came here because I am running after a man. He came to me and courted me and asked my hand to marry him. We have been a couple or a husband and wife in Canada to all our friends, families the school that the children goes to, he introduced himself as a father to everyone. He phones the school for all the children affairs. So please, I am not here because I happened to chose to go after a man.

The message above is for SARS.

My apologies, but i just cant understand how your man can have 2 families at the same time..
if he loves you then he wouldnt let you come here and be in danger with his ex and the immigration
if he loves you and your kids he will help you go back somewhere safe especially now you are sick but how??
i would say again that in terms of legalities u cannot run after him, if u have any legal papers that u can hold him to show the immigration lawyer then do so but i'm afraid your last resort for this problem is your Embassy.
hope everything goes well for you and your kids ..be strong!!

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Sars.
He came by just an hour ago to take me to his father in the home for seniors with dimentia. His wife hates his father becasue she said that he is too much of a burden. Yes, I still care for his father as I am the one who took care of him in Canada when he came and stayed with us and when we moved him to his new home my daughter and I were the one who goes there everyday to put hm to sleep. He smiles when he sees my daughter and spend time with her for hours playing games and just simply talking. His real children don't bother to see their Grandfather. While with my ex fiance, he said to me again that he cannot help me financially because his families, wife , children, sisters and mother are all watching him like a hulk. He said that his father in law and his wife convinced everyone that as a Filipina, which it is known here in the UK that they are a money grabbing women and they go after rich men. That hurts me a lot because i have spent so much in this relationship. I pay for my own fare back and forth and for all the children. We go out in the UK and I pay for everything. Why would they generalized all Filipinas like that? That is too degrading. We are decent women!

[IsaBella]

Hello Emma Julia,
I think that your ex fiance still loves you and he knows how good of a woman you are but his family are very superior and the wife is very manipulative. She knows that her husband loves you and I could just imagine the reason he got attracted to you in the first place. The only thing is , he is not strong enough to fight them. As a christian he leaves it to the woman to divorce him but he will not do it himself. I could also imagine that he is hurting.

[purple]

Hi Emma Julia,
My sympathies to you. I can offer my prayers for you and yours children. It must be hard to be in your situation right now but please be strong.
Loving and someone with your ex-fiance for 8 years is long. You must have trusted him. Talk to him and come in terms with him. Being on a tourist visa gives you no power for being there. Stay strong. If you have lived with your husband in Canada, then you are Canadian Citizen right?

[joebloggs]

did you contact http://www.iasuk.org/home.aspx

or try your local lawcentre many have immigration lawyers who might be able to help, but to be honest i doubt it, if your b/f will not help you..