How do you know when to STOP and start letting Go?--just ranting---

[LuisaKC]

You made a mistake once. But stood up and made the best of that mistake. Blamed no one for it, took it as part of 'experience" and started living happy with whats left...
And then a person comes again like a God-sent Gift ( thats what you thought at first )... and you started to open up again. Give all. Give more than what you gave before. Strive hard to make things work better this time... Changed things to make EVERYTHING work. And treat this 2nd chance as your LAST chance and made sure that this time NO ONE CAN SAY YOU DIDNT TRY HARD ENOUGH.
but when do you stop TRYING?
How would you know YOU GAVE ALL already?
What would be the limit to "giving all"?
I dont want to commit another mistake again. SO I want to make sure
before I give up on this 2nd chance ( w/c could be my last) that I already did all.

I'm sure no one can asnwer any of these question unless you know my whole story )

BUT just assuming this is YOU and YOUR life. WHAT IS YOUR LIMIT TO LOVING ONE PERSON? WHEN WILL YOU STOP STRIVING HARD TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK?

[sars_notd_virus]

there's no limit in loving a person even if u bump your head couple or so many times...its always good to try than not to try at all ..don't ever lose trust or give trust to someone no matter how many times your relationships failed because that is when you will find who really belongs and is meant for you..goodluck again..
smile that its over!!
move on and never look back in anger!!!

[joebloggs]

it's called living

sometimes you have to take the risk and give the benefit of doubt,and luisaKC learn from your 'mistakes' thou easier said than done


good luck and don't give up , that would be ultimate failure

[nigel]

And here's Nigel to the rescue!

1. When you say you made a mistake and blame no one for it, well there's a mistake within itself! Things are very rarely one persons fault.

2. You started living with whats left? This life experience is an all singing all dancing paradise so spectacular I can't fathom how lucky I am to experience it! I'm also convinced that when we (so called die) we are projected into an Astral Plain...Paradise is not achieved it's percieved! It's been a paradise since the day we were born!

3. (This seems typical of all Filipina women) You speak of 'giving all' and 'trying harder' quite a lot! This gives me the impression that you care deeply about what others think of you, particularly your man perhaps? You are NOT defined by what others think of you, your not even defined by what your Mother and Father may think of you. Your a divine woman, you should acknowledge this to yourself and not let others influence what you feel about yourself...hold FIRM beliefs about yourself and don't let others manipulate your mind..it may be that you are getting psychological/emotional abuse..and are not even aware ot it!

So I think your REAL mistakes are thinking that you blame, thinking that life is bad (it's paradise!), and defining yourself by what others think! (You must be silly doing that! )

I've noticed many women make the mistake of letting others influence their mind, many women are rather meek and easily manipulated! Take control of your thoughts and take control of your life! Your life (and mind) belongs to you how could it possibly belong to someone else? Do NOT care for what 'they' think care for what YOU think! Each and every one of us is undebatebly magnificent, your a divine beauty! Your perfection!

***** Being submissive and co-operative and holding great concern for what your man thinks is a very attractive attribute in a woman...but what good is it going to do you? *****

[bher]

there's no limit in loving a person even if u bump your head couple or so many times...its always good to try than not to try at all ..don't ever lose trust or give trust to someone no matter how many times your relationships failed because that is when you will find who really belongs and is meant for you..!!!

i agree with sars' LOVING someone has NO LIMIT.. you can do what ever you want weather you fail or win.. atleast you've done your part, u LOVEd,u sacrificed and u failed.. but never blame yourself!!! hope everything will be ok with you luisaKC..

[rani]

we all know when to STOP but we HOPE and strive hard to work and build a strong relationship.. sometimes, we are just blind to see and accept the truth...

i guess LOVE IS REALLY BLIND and it does HURT

[malditako]

if u think the love u have is making u unhappy and miserable then i guess its time to stop then...love suppose to make us happy not making ourselves stupid and crazy..and live with headache..love doesn't mean u need to give urself away, nor try harder coz if someone does it means other side is not working their part to make relationship work....relationship wont last long if one on it sacrifice and the others not..if one gives and the others not...coz i believe each and every one of us has a breaking point.

for sure ur heart tells u better than any of us..goodluck with ur decisions

[purple]

Hi LuisaKC,

when you start loving yourself more then I think that's how you have given love to someone. it always work that way.

[purple]

And here's Nigel to the rescue!

1. When you say you made a mistake and blame no one for it, well there's a mistake within itself! Things are very rarely one persons fault.

2. You started living with whats left? This life experience is an all singing all dancing paradise so spectacular I can't fathom how lucky I am to experience it! I'm also convinced that when we (so called die) we are projected into an Astral Plain...Paradise is not achieved it's percieved! It's been a paradise since the day we were born!

3. (This seems typical of all Filipina women) You speak of 'giving all' and 'trying harder' quite a lot! This gives me the impression that you care deeply about what others think of you, particularly your man perhaps? You are NOT defined by what others think of you, your not even defined by what your Mother and Father may think of you. Your a divine woman, you should acknowledge this to yourself and not let others influence what you feel about yourself...hold FIRM beliefs about yourself and don't let others manipulate your mind..it may be that you are getting psychological/emotional abuse..and are not even aware ot it!

So I think your REAL mistakes are thinking that you blame, thinking that life is bad (it's paradise!), and defining yourself by what others think! (You must be silly doing that! )

I've noticed many women make the mistake of letting others influence their mind, many women are rather meek and easily manipulated! Take control of your thoughts and take control of your life! Your life (and mind) belongs to you how could it possibly belong to someone else? Do NOT care for what 'they' think care for what YOU think! Each and every one of us is undebatebly magnificent, your a divine beauty! Your perfection!

***** Being submissive and co-operative and holding great concern for what your man thinks is a very attractive attribute in a woman...but what good is it going to do you? *****

I agree with you on this Nigel. It is true for some of the Filipinas, that's why I don't bother to what others may think because life for me is so precious that I am thankful for each wonderful day because to me its a paradise.

[Englishman2010]

I agree with you too Nigel
..and like Purple says, learn to love yourself. If you can't love yourself first, you will never be able to love anyone else.

[JimOttley]

You made a mistake once. But stood up and made the best of that mistake. Blamed no one for it, took it as part of 'experience" and started living happy with whats left...
And then a person comes again like a God-sent Gift ( thats what you thought at first )... and you started to open up again. Give all. Give more than what you gave before. Strive hard to make things work better this time... Changed things to make EVERYTHING work. And treat this 2nd chance as your LAST chance and made sure that this time NO ONE CAN SAY YOU DIDNT TRY HARD ENOUGH.
but when do you stop TRYING?
How would you know YOU GAVE ALL already?
What would be the limit to "giving all"?
I dont want to commit another mistake again. SO I want to make sure
before I give up on this 2nd chance ( w/c could be my last) that I already did all.

I'm sure no one can asnwer any of these question unless you know my whole story )

BUT just assuming this is YOU and YOUR life. WHAT IS YOUR LIMIT TO LOVING ONE PERSON? WHEN WILL YOU STOP STRIVING HARD TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK?

You're only 33 come back and ask this question again when you are 50...

I can feel your pain, I have similar problems in my life. In this life you will know when the time comes to give up but sometimes you can't give up because in reality the person is your true soul mate.

Sometimes it is right to only stop when you the world declares you are dead

[LuisaKC]

if u think the love u have is making u unhappy and miserable then i guess its time to stop then...love suppose to make us happy not making ourselves stupid and crazy..and live with headache..love doesn't mean u need to give urself away, nor try harder coz if someone does it means other side is not working their part to make relationship work....relationship wont last long if one on it sacrifice and the others not..if one gives and the others not...coz i believe each and every one of us has a breaking point.

for sure ur heart tells u better than any of us..goodluck with ur decisions

Everyone says "love has no limit, dont give up" except gparry and Rani....
I therefore conclude...LOVE really is blind n my case AND IT DOES HURT. lol.
Thanks !

[sars_notd_virus]

Love is not blind only lovers are blind..Love is another name for live as what joe said ,now if you cant live with that love you have all the reasons to leave and get a life and be happy!!!

[aposhark]

Hi LuisaKC,

You can only life your life by the standards you set and hope that others respect that.

Everybody has a breaking point in relationships but that is different for everyone.

Domestic violence is one breaking point that should always be a reason, for example.

Just remember, you only have one life.

Stay strong for yourself and for the rest of your life.

[grahamw48]

There IS hope...I am available.

[LuisaKC]

haha Graham. There'll be hope for me next yr too when my complication's done

[Terpe]

BUT just assuming this is YOU and YOUR life. WHAT IS YOUR LIMIT TO LOVING ONE PERSON? WHEN WILL YOU STOP STRIVING HARD TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK?

I've been thinking about this for some time and now ready to commit my thinking into words.

If you put a lot into the relationship, but your partner seems to put nothing or very little into it, that’s a sign that your partner isn’t committed to either you or the relationship.

If you’re getting nothing out of the relationship, there really is no reason to stay around.

If it’s more of a relief to be apart than be together, that’s a very bad sign.
The reason you’re in the relationship is because you enjoy the time spent in the company of each other. If it’s a bind to be around each other anymore, then there really is no reason to stay.

If you're not being respected, then the relationship has to change.
Mutual respect is the foundation of any relationship. You probably need to end the relationship, because something as basic as that is unlikely to change.

If your partner is abusive to you, that is the ultimate sign of disrespect.

If you’re being lied to or cheated on, then you aren’t being respected. You can try to repair the relationship by talking things over with a liar or cheat, but don’t fool youself. The relationship is over.

If being in the relationship is putting stress on you or it seems like it’s unhealthy, then please try to visualise the future. Ask yourself where the relationship is going. Does your partner wear you out?
If your partner gets emotional over the simplest things or constantly critises your every move, that’s not healthy. That is called a high maintenance relationship. Some people can thrive in these situations. For most of us, we’ve got to get out of the relationship and find a healthier one.

If everything you do is a mistake or a negative on the relationship, this is no good for you. Your partner needs to let you feel appreciated. The overcritical partner not only brings the romance down, but they begin to undermine your self-esteem. If they think you are insecure, then in their mind they believe you are more likely to stay in the relationship come waht may.
Don’t fall into this trap. If your partner doesn’t appreciate you, you can find someone who will.

If you really do strive so hard to stay in a formerly romantic relationship that includes the above "IF'S" then you're likely in denial.
Most of us have been there in some shape or form. BEFORE

Sorry for the long post, and no offence meant. Just my opinion

[grahamw48]

For what it's worth, I agree with the above well-reasoned post.

[sars_notd_virus]

Most of us have been there in some shape or form. BEFORE

spot on

[LuisaKC]

Thanks Terpe.