Really, really down and depressed

[aposhark]

Don't get too down Languish.
In fact don't become your name!

Everyone who goes on a holiday to Europe have the blues when they come home for a while.
Your depression will spur you on to make sure you achieve your dreams and goals in life.
As a lot of us here can testify, keep yourself strong and focused through the down days between being together with your girlfriend again.

LDR's are hard for everyone to endure but the benefits of perservering are too powerful and rewarding.
Keep your chin up and remember that you are not alone, we have been through it and we wish you strength in your journey.

[Languish]

Thanks for all the comments guys - its gratefully appreciated!

Steve.r - Spot on buddy. Whats really caught me is just how badly its hit me this time round. Everything from jet lag, missing my girlfriend, and even food is exponentially far stronger an impact this time round than it was in April. I am just not psychologically prepared at all for the impact this time around! You are right - roll on our next visits - all i know is mine has to be far sooner than i'd originally expected or planned for.

Subseastu - Thanks and yes we do use skype each and every night with a couple of exceptions due to our respective work committments from time to time. Im planning to get out in April.

Sim11UK - Thanks and 100% true!

Alanmf1 - The weather here just serves as a marker for my emotional reaction. The weather in this country is generally cruddy though admittedly! :P You are right though - already been looking at flights!!!

Tawi2 - Maybe a bit extreme! You are right of course - i do love my country, its safe and work is good and well paying... but its not where my heart is.

Englishman2010 - Booking 2-3 flights in advance, thats a clever idea, never thought of that. You are right about the passing of time and it does go quickly - prior to this visit last week it had been 7 months since i last saw her in person and that was night on tortorous to say the least. The webcam became the ultimate symbol of that torture so to be able to finally touch her again was like a release from prison. Coming back to that reality has been a cold slap in the face. I can do it of course but its not pleasant!!!

bher - You are right and i am glad im not the only one who feels like this! Its comforting to know this.

fred - yeah it wasnt that it was amazing weather out there in Cebu/Bohol - the weather just serves as a physical representation of the fact im not with her but here instead. Thanks for the youtube video - its true (and a classic film too)!

Stevewool - saving to go back already and will be as soon as possible! Jealous of you my friend - marriage and living with your love - you lucky devil!!!

Laurel - Thanks for the positive comments.

Aposhark - heh this is an old forum name i used to use before things became positive for me. Its historical but in no way representative of who i am nowadays - actually i've been meaning to change it. Is there an easy way to do that? You are right about LDR's... we are fast coming up to our one year anniversary - its perfectly do-able and we've proved it to ourselves and everyone - its just naturally difficult being so far apart!

[Englishman2010]

Englishman2010 - Booking 2-3 flights in advance, thats a clever idea, never thought of that. You are right about the passing of time and it does go quickly - prior to this visit last week it had been 7 months since i last saw her in person and that was night on tortorous to say the least. The webcam became the ultimate symbol of that torture so to be able to finally touch her again was like a release from prison. Coming back to that reality has been a cold slap in the face. I can do it of course but its not pleasant!!!

You'll be fine, the first week back is always the worst, I often feel quite lost and emotional during the first week. It's a combination of jetlag, back to the reality of work and of course missing your loved one, but it does get better.

I really have found that booking flights in advance works for me, it gives me a sense of knowing, rather than just wondering if and when I will go back. The other advantage is booking in advance usually ensures I get a reasonably priced ticket.

I can't use Skype anymore, it hurts too much, seeing and not being able to touch. We keep in touch via YM, FB and SMS throughout the day.

LDR's are hard work and take a lot of effort and commitment, but if you are sure you have found your soul mate, they are worth every ounce of effort you put into it. Ultimately, you won't be apart for ever, as sooner or later you will both make a decision to be together.

There are bound to be many more dark days ahead, and don't forget we all know what it's like, we've been there and still have them too. The beauty of this forum is that we are nearly all in the same boat and can help each other get over our bouts of anxiety, paranoia, depression...etc. We aren't like your mates in the 'real' world who simply don't understand what you are going through.

Try not to torture yourself too much, and remember the wonderful times you and your mahal spent together, whilst at the same time remembering that soon enough you will be in her arms again

[Dedworth]

You'll be fine, .......................................................................................................... that soon enough you will be in her arms again

I wasn't an LDR man (just made an LD phone call though) but knowing one or two this sounds like good, solid, level headed advice

[Tawi2]

Sorry if my response was overly harsh last night Languish,and re-reading it I know it was,i saw the local buang guy yesterday,always the same,filthy dirty,dressed in tattered rags and walking barefoot around the village grinning and chatting away to himself,you have it very easy in comparison to someone like that,save your cash and come back out,time passes quickly,before long you will once again be en-route to Heathrow with packed bags

[aposhark]

.........................Aposhark - heh this is an old forum name i used to use before things became positive for me. Its historical but in no way representative of who i am nowadays - actually i've been meaning to change it. Is there an easy way to do that?

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